>>46813407
(2/3)
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“Say, Anon…” An abrupt voice jolts me out of my stupor, and I turn to see Reimu sitting on our futon by the lit stove, a collection of warm oranges and yellows gracing her silhouette and Hana's against the darkness of the shrine, our small girl sprawled on her mother's knees and sleeping soundly under a bunch of blankets, tenderly holding onto Aunn, who also sleeps, their faces touching slightly. My back is against the kitchen's wall, and the kotatsu's blanket is over my shoulders, keeping a little distance away to give Reimu some space. As my drowsiness subsides, I see her missing arm—not a dream, Jesus... “Would you give me a second chance?” She asks, uncaring about her arm but rather having her eyes on Hana—eyes that bore a mother's warmth uncensored.
Those final words, however, ring all the alarms in my mind.
“W-What are you… R-Reimu, what happened? W-What are you talking about?” Is this some sort of trap…?
The lack of arm, cut so thoroughly as if by something sharper than any sword, makes me wanna puke—
— “The pain I caused you is great, and you've been hiding it all for quite a while now, haven't you?” I freeze, hands clutching tightly to the blanket, heart frantic and sweat makes my skin itch. “All Because you want Hana to grow up happy. You'd go to any lengths to protect her childhood; give her the happiness she deserves… Our little daughter.” Examples from the past overlaid her words: often desperate cries for forgiveness for every disgrace she would bring forth.
Reimu just stares at Hana, her only hand gently caressing the threads of brown, her face calm. No disgusting begging, no manipulation clear as day that I'd fall anyway—but… there's love there. Love that I saw before adorning her finger with a ring. “Reimu, I…” There is massive pushback, both physical and mental, and my breathing becomes tenser with each passing second, the only sound being the soft crackling of the fire. This body knows what'll come if it disrespects her or tries to 'betray' her. It's so sudden, too; I still feel the phantom sensation of her body in my arms… And the seconds pass.
They pass and pass in stillness.
Puzzled, I look at Reimu, a feeling unknown overtaking me…
Why is she…?
… She patiently waited, meeting my eyes and smiling briefly, her hand stopping caressing Hana's hair. “There's no need for haste, Anon—despite, ugh, fruits~” She stutters a little, the shadow of a Reimu I knew appearing in that awkward smile, playful eyes on Hana. “Haste is just no good… Especially now,” she sighs, swinging what remains of her arm. “Well, I guess you'll have to get a job at the village again.” I blink. H-Huh…? “You could work at the Geidontei, your food rocks; or perhaps try the Suzunnan—that poor waif, Suzu, works so hard~—; or maybe teach at the Temple School? Nah, not good that last one; you'd surely embarrass Hana by being super supportive.” She snickers and, before I can understand it, I giggle too. “Or just outright manual labor; you're on the strong side, after all… Anything you choose is good.”
Simple words, but a unique, odd thrill rises inside—one I‘d forgotten I could feel. “I… I will see what I can do.”
“The shrine needs some renovations, too, so I guess I'll be the one fixing it—should start the heavy reforms by spring, so this winter will be dedicated to smaller stuff… Do you wanna something? Like, a painted wall?”
Silence permeates, thick as molasses. Reimu doesn't demand an answer; just waits calmly…
I stare at her, ruminating on those words she'd said before about forgiveness and second chances. Merely tasting the concepts towards her floods my mouth with bitterness—years of abuse, of the loss of the dream of a happy marriage, of isolation…
Why would I give her any kind of forgiveness if not out of fear of what may happen to Hana? What may happen to me?
Reimu doesn't deserve forgiveness…
… And yet, the way she holds Hana and Aunn, the kind and sweet smile on that face, a posture straight and confidence behind movements unseen before—gone was the paranoia—and the way she makes my heart still pound…
“What happened to you?” I ask, anxious.
“I died.”
… I stare, flabbergasted.
“But I came back. I'm still flesh and bone, not a spooky ghost~” I don't laugh. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have. “… All I had in my afterlife were thoughts of my family, of the sins I committed, things I wish I'd done; love that I should've given… There were so many regrets that I decided to come back and, ugh, do b-better, I guess?”
I blink, stupefied. She guesses, huh…?
… Wow…
My hands join and I stare at shadows, echoes beating those walls—of pain and rape, of a life that'd crumbled to dust. My fingers, unconsciously, ran around and ended up rubbing the surface of my wedding band… I take one glance and, in the fire, her wedding band refracts a beautiful hue.
Tired, all I can do is sigh, “… Green.” Her ears perk up. “Our room’s walls would be prettier if they were a mossy green.”
Reimu smiles.