/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Dragons are resistant to nuclear attacks. Crazy, huh? Like cockroaches.

I like to kill cockroaches, the smug bastards.

“Hm… An overwhelmingly big nuclear explosion didn't destroy these chains or even bothered you, and the weird sword in the lake drained all the radiation I spread—very cool, though~new way to dispose of waste!” The dragon under me merely huffed, his massive head resting on one of the stone spikes surrounding this lake that's appeared out of nowhere. Orin told me not to mess with it because it’s Yukari's boring magic or whatever, but still! Disposal site that neutralizes radiation and disperses it safely?! That's, like, incredible! But there's the dragon and the weirdos who got mad at me. Eh, what can a girl do besides nuking the threat? The existence of a dragon so close to the palace could, theoretically, negatively impact Koishi-chan and her babies too… “How the hell am I getting rid of you…?” I ask the dragon, his elongated body spanning the entirety of the spiky hills surrounding the lake shifting a little, probably to scratch an itch somewhere along it. “Are you resistant to alpha radiation, by the way?” Taking after him, I scratch my wings too before lying on his iridescent scales. “Like, everyone kinda is… Until you ingest it. Maybe if I poison that waterfall with a BIG dose of alpha radiation and you drink it, then you'll die?” Again, the dragon huffs, heavy movements of the weird chains that bind his neck making cascades of dust. That's not a 'no'! “Hell yeah, that may work!”

The chains clank again as one of his hands—paws? Something in between?—moves, and the entire world seems to hold its breath as it approaches me. The red eye doesn't feel fuzzy or eerie, so no danger, but I can't help but wonder what he's—

—one of his claws gently petted the top of my head for a while before rescinding to its resting position under his chin.

Hey… That was very nice~

“Heh, I'll make sure to give my all and produce, like, a THOUSAND years worth of alpha particles~! I got you, Mr. Dragon!” Another huff, though it feels… amused? “You know, when I say I'll kill someone using radiation poisoning—like the fairies—they always scream or try to fight back. It's very funny.” I laugh aloud at the memories of screeching fairies before they are vanquished by overwhelming force. “But, even when I threw a sun at you, you didn't try to stop me… Do you want to die, Mr. Dragon?” I ask, puzzled. Never considered that: why would anyone wanna die? Life is so damn fun~!

His sudden silence, though, is upsetting… Confused, I move forward, sliding off his forehead and end up sitting on his snout, tailing his narrowed, kinda sorrowful gaze. He watches the people—either on the shore or walking on the water—rebuilding their weird shrines to Yukari's sword and peering back at us in awe, some even bowing…

Mr. Dragon is sad 'cause of that? The people can see it for sure, but don't stop anyway… What a bunch of losers!

“Can I evaporate them?” I ask, about to reach for the arm-cannon strapped to my back, but Mr. Dragon merely huffs, negating with his head—the movement shakes the mountains—something I don't understand inside those gigantic eyes. “Bleh, my head hurts… Trying to understand an assortment of huffs and give each different meaning is a pain!” I complain with a sigh, head spinning for real. Mr. Dragon laughs at my expense; the sound low, rumbling and quite apocalyptic… I pout. “You jerk—I'll make the alpha radiation taste incredibly sour ‘cause of that!”

As Mr. Dragon's laughter fades, he seems less sad~

“Another day, another Yukari scheme…” A sudden voice calls my attention to the familiar people that approach: the small oni, Suika, and the giant one, Yuugi. “Ya got caught on it this time, huh, Koutei?” Suika finishes, landing on Mr. Dragon's—Koutei, I guess—nose. “That purple bitch…” Koutei nods in agreement, and so Suika glances towards me, a big, silly smile adorning her big, silly face. “Yo, Utsuho-chan~nice seeing you fooling around with Koutei here! It wasn't as nice seeing that massive sun from the city, though, and dealing with the panic was a pain.”

“It wasn't that bad,” Yuugi muses, drinking from her plate. “It'd be fun to wrestle a nuke someday, though—I don't understand an ounce about nuclear energy anyway~” I make sure to remember such words for posteriority.

“The only weakness of the Underground is our lack of sun; you should be glad I graced you with one for a minute or two,” I shrug, watching as they sit around me, an amused sigh coming from the small oni and a thunderous laughter from the big oni. “Eh, whaddaya want anyway? We were talking about killing each other~”

“Sorry for interrupting the gripping subject matter, love birds,” Suika jokes, putting her sake gourd down. “Just wanted to have a little talk with Koutei about Kasen, nothing much. You can stay to listen if ya want, but I warn you that it may be boring, heh.”

A talk with a dragon being boring? Man, Suika must be REALLY drunk…