I pursue music rather than writing but this is kind of what I go through. I can make music at home all day but it doesn't get me anywhere and it becomes extremely monotonous - the real game is performance, which I haven't done since November 30th last year.
Why? I'm terrified of the world at large. If I had it my way, I'd be out there every night performing, but I'm so scared. The worst thing about this is, no matter how much I read on the topics of failure or depression or anxiety or life, it doesn't help. I know all the philosophy, all the psychology, the aphorisms, the mantras and none of it changes anything. So what exactly is in the way? Me. That's the worst feeling of all - you can't escape from that, from yourself.
There's nothing more to do than to confront yourself. How? I suppose by going through the anxiety rather than around it. I'm a vile stubborn piece of shit, so I've created quite the hurdle for myself.