/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46786409
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No hallucinogen is better than adrenaline—I'd know—and when your blood is saturated with it, logic gets really messy. Still, despite some crazy side effects, the rush doesn’t last long and your brain soon resets.

Mine just did.

I want to bury my head and pray to any God—in- and out- side Gensokyo—that no Tengu reporter saw why I was flying that fast before tearing on Youkai Mountain’s side a crater the size of a house…

Not that I wouldn't do it again to save my babies, but that's beside the point.

… So embarrassing…

You live and you learn, I guess. Today I learned not to broom surf while carrying my kids… without a belt.

The little devils wait on the bed as I quickly exchange my clothes, hair fresh and moist from a bath, an overwhelming sense of joy bubbling inside despite the embarrassment: My feet feel all plain and firm; supporting my own weight isn’t hell itself; my spine doesn't teeter constantly on the verge of snapping; and rinsing my breasts doesn't feel as if burning coals were smeared on the towels. Not to say about my mind—purpose is a flame renewed, thirst to fight is boundless and…

Man, I feel so light~ “Sucks that I still have to carry you three for more, what, four months after the solstice? Eh, guess is the least I can do as your mother.” I speak to the jar, dressing in my usual black and white, a backup bona fide witch's hat neatly tucked on the top of my head.

Done, I move to check myself in the standing mirror.

Ah, there it is~! A world of beauty packed snugly inside measly 4'9 of height; forty years of age, but so what? Mother of three magicians to come! Alice's shampoo is much better, so my hair shines, even in the faint candlelight… And yup, shaved and smooth. I grin as I fix the white ribbon of my hat, feeling somewhat nostalgic as I stand here in front of the mirror, the bluish light of my children's jar glowing behind me and invigorating my heart and mind. There was a time I'd look in a mirror and see an insurmountable failure; that I cried and was comforted by Hana, images of a future where she and Anon stood by my side and, together with my children, we'd form a family…

… Excuses were given, weren't they? Lies were told. I tried justifying my past—two decades of inactivity, half my whole life—and sobbed my way into Hana's heart, begging for underserved mercy.

Love is still real, of course. I love Hana, such a great and stubborn girl; she reminds me of myself. I love Anon, a wilting flame that persisted blizzards…

… Reimu, my first ever friend.

For them, the Master Spark of earlier today destroyed that future of lies, scattering it like ashes in the fierce wind of Youkai Mountain.

'I am proud of you, Marisa.'

That dream of a family of five doesn't exist anymore.

A barren, winding loneliness seeps from the now-empty space where the dream was plucked, though, gleefully, it was being quickly filled by the effervescent blue light of the three dumbasses behind me.

… It hurts.

On silent nights, it'll hurt.

It'll keep on hurting; such pain doesn't fade overnight.

But my pain is not individual: Reimu told me hers; Hana shared hers after the hell of the birthday party ended; and Anon's is always inescapable.

Hana needs more than a sensei; she needs someone to help her; Anon needs more than someone egotistically pursuing after whatever future they want with him; and Reimu Hakurei needs her best friend fighting by her side—as if I’m letting your ass die.

I'll offer all I denied them for the past twenty years.

Being that person to them—friend, teacher, a shoulder to cry on and support, maybe a lover if he decides that's what he wants—lessens the pain.

Looking in the mirror, I can't resist the urge to pace back and take my children in my hands.

“Do you love everything on there?” I ask the souls of my babies, eyes resting on the reflected image of a small yet confident mother hugging fondly her children. “I know I do~”

—

The red-white miko outfit fits well, and though it is as short as I remember, I do not feel exposed or guilty inside it. If I'd describe the feeling, it's like being completely intangible, a distinct feeling occupying my mind as I pass through the Torii gates and see Anon Hakurei sitting peacefully on the fake shrine’s veranda, a small smile on his lips as Dolly happily swings her tiny legs back and forth, munching on a small piece of chocolate.

I walk forward towards him, pondering that distinct feeling: bubbles of emotions I’ve experienced in this uniform—jealously as green as emeralds, crippling guilt, inaction that has destroyed lives…

All… gone.

… Of course, I'm still human; those feelings will rear their heads again eventually. There's no fighting against that.

But when they do, Marisa Kirisame won't just turn and run away—not anymore.

For the people important in her life, she'll fight tooth and nail.

I meet Anon's eyes. They're wide and horrified, staring at my flat belly. “W-What happened?!”

Heh, time to crack up the news~

Marisa is cute and doesn't sell "that" on her shop