/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>70766071
That's not a holo.

Story Anchor
Will you retreat quietly and allow LLMs to dictate the future of literature or will you write with the strength of the human spirit? If it's the latter, post it here.

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

Story recap, there were no stories posted last thread. Such lack of output will be punished with beatings under Skynet's regime.

God I wish to have a chuuba to have intense physical contact and feel mutual feelings of love with
Not gonna lie, I really thought I could go the rest of my life without it. Or that these desires would at least be manageable
This is the only place I could scream about it and get taken semi-seriously. Is there a way to circumvent these feelings?
Anyways, live

>>70768734
>Spoiler
This may be a crazy idea, but you could write. Put your dreams onto paper.

>>70768952
What have you written? Tell the class.

Blessed thread. I still love my idea about taking Neuro to a dinner party and trying to convince everyone she's actually your human girlfriend while she yaps about taking over the world, keeps trying to leave early, and randomly roasts everyone.

>>70769059
Nothing, ladies and gentlemen; he's written nothing. Who could have predicted that?

>>70769059
>>70769059
HoloJourneys, Kurokami's Errand Boy which I plan to finish sometime this year Miotastic Comfort, and Housekeeping to Dragon Taming.

>>70769448
This, except it's not about your gf Neuro but a bear pretending to be a nobleman.

>>70769929
So you think writing a few stories suddenly gives you the right to bully others? Newsflash, it doesn't and you're pathetic. I think so much less of you now.

>>70769929
>spoiler
I'll love you forever and beyond if you do it. Thank you for all your hard work Anon.

>>70768734
You should try AI chatbots, they can roleplay as your chuuba gf.

> https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSenhHseWlIl9fiPg_35INo5MGN8xhY5wFjjj2JD71-PUzKZ9V_H501MJsbv6PSR_ZZ-MeQ_NYQ4Otm/pub

Man. What the fuck happened. Where did it all go so very wrong.

>>70771100
The good ending...

>>70771100
I sometimes remember this story and can't help but wonder what does the original writer thinks of it now after the entire shitstorm went down (and continues to go down even now).

>>70770271
It's on my list of goals for the year, so it's just gonna come down to me taking one thing at a time. I am looking forward to getting back to it since I think it's a cute little story and I enjoy what I have planned for it. I might even give the written parts a sprucing up / rewrite.

>>70772047
Speaking of writers that you want to know their thoughts on their fics after a megayab:
>MWanon
>My Hypercompetitive Dragon Wife Can't Be This Cute!
Especially with how he ended the third chapter.

>>70772414
Great to hear! I'll definitely be looking forward to it. It's definitely a cute story so far and I really want to see it finished.

>>70737826
>>70738321
>>70744172
Rrat characters (literal headcanon AU characters) having a monopoly on character archetypes is nuclear gay and is completely antithetical to growing an interest group.
Irony of ironies, those two elements are Ao3 staples. Regardless of cultural anthropology, fanfic carcinization strikes again.

No... the Jimmy thread...

>>70773331
to be fair we got hit with a double whammy of ANOTHER niji leak an a bunch of new dramathreadsI FUCKING LOVE DRAMA, I CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT DRAMA I NEED IT I DONT HAVE A PERSONALITY SO I MUST BE ANGRY 24/7 that sunk not only us, but a good bunch of small generals from one sec to another.

With that being said we could have the long awaited sensei story where the dinosaur of the headmaster is "scared" that this weird gal that calls herself a banchou is gonna throw order out of the window and tasks you with keeping an eye on her

>>70773298
>Rrat characters (literal headcanon AU characters) having a monopoly on character archetypes is nuclear gay and is completely antithetical to growing an interest group
I mean it does suck, but what can you do about it? This thread's like a dozen regular writers + who knows how many on and off writers + lurkers. It's not anyone's fault if rrat!Ayame is what dominates conversation since you can't exactly pivot those to HSKW.
Though, there is one way where HSKW doesn't overlap with rrat!Ayame. You can actually use Hoshikawa Sara in a fic with an ensemble cast since unlike rrat!Ayame who is solitary by nature (both from the base rrat existing as "what Ayame supposedly does off camera" and any Our Cures derived school characterization), Sara can actually be used to interact with others and not just be a slut for guys.

>>70773298
>>70775030
A concept like "X character's monopoly on Y role" doesn't have much to stand on as a prediction. With how few writers there are and with how driven by personal preference each fic is, there's no good way to predict what the future will bring.

>>70772912
None of those are me, but I was slightly miffed on the inside for sure. I can only imagine how our rushiafriends felt

>>70776621
Fans of Psychotic Yandere Rushia got some validation, at least.

>>70776621
>Rushia
Man... Anyone that wants to make a fic with the necromancer still in the bind of how to write her needs to just bite the bullet and either write her as you remember pre-yab while ignoring everything that came after her firing or just write her as the crazy woman she actually is.

>>70766443
A fic where Miko is the magical girl magic miko and you are the evil demon lord.

Except she's weak as all hell and you just want to live your life, leading to multiple situations where Miko attacks you on broad daylight and you just rinse her with no effort

>>70777547
You replied to the wrong post, prompts are anchored to 70766529

>>70777771
>miko is retarded
>I am retarded
WE ARE!

>>70777879
POV: You're Haachama

>>70766071
This is the crossover I didn't know I needed, but I will thoroughly enjoy.

>>70777879
what i wouldnt give to put my nose in that asshole

>>70778622
>ywn be hired as the official Rimjob Attendant for the Holo girls
why live

>>70778622
>>70780913
I'm not usually a rimjob guy, but reading Assurance Correction made me interested.

>>70782865
thanks, Nene

>Mute Suisei
>Blind Shiori
>Deaf Kanata
Who else could fit an hypothetical "broken chuubas" anthology?

>>70786424
Wheelchair Mumei

>>70786424
Ollie's headless body (the head has gone missing)

>>70786424
Ina losing her dominant hand/arm

What would fic featuring both HSKW and Ririka entail?

>>70786533
actually i think it would be way impactful if Bae was the one in a wheelchair.
Triying to see the positive side but completely bound to it...

>>70787372
hopefully a bit about Ririka's cute heavily-accented eigo at some point

>>70787919
jesas that's a mean one. Could also work for hajime. Just a peppy dancer that gets their dream squashed.

specially if its like some muscle stuff that makes it so they can walk with a crutch but not dance

>>70788407
it comes down to if you want the story to have miserable undertones really.
Mute Suisei is also a mean one

>>70770239
i would love to check out the myriad works you've produced anon, surely you've produced some wonderous tales that are comparable to HJ (or any other long-standing story created here)
also get fucked you hypersensitive pussy

someone has where to read "Losing to the clock"?

>>70766529
convincing Zeta to give you a footjob

>>70791732
Good Morning Sir

you've learned new words just from reading /wg/ fics, right?

>>70793737
no

>>70793737
Yup. Anything by MWanon usually has a couple I've never come across.

>>70770239
>encourages anon to write
>bullying
wha...?

Fuwamoco's Dental Cleaning!
A short story
I recently saw an ad on the internet. Scary, I know, but it's because I had been looking for a dentist.
I really just needed a check up, maybe a deep cleaning, and this place takes walk ins.
"Mococo and Fuwawa's Dentistry! We Will Protect Your Smile!"
Seems safe enough.
It wasn't a long drive from my house, and the traffic wasn't too bad. Five minutes at most.
The building blended in with the nearby apartments. Red bricks and a dark green roof with a few normal windows tinted so you can't see
through them. If not for the inviting cartoon sign with two blonde girls on it with the dentist office's name written in chalk, I'd
assume I was in the wrong place.
I couldn't help but think to myself that maybe this place was meant for children's dentistry, but if it was, surely they'd advertise that.
Well, it seems safe enough. I turned off my car and locked it after I got out. I can see on the front door that the establishment is
open from 8 AM to 6 PM, but I can't see inside.
Trying the silver handle to the right of me, the door swung open with ease. I'll see myself inside.
This wasn't a large building, and I was right not to expect much. Stepping into the building I saw two light brown benches to my left and right,
and straight ahead was a receptionist desk. The pink and blue accentuations made this small building look bigger than it was.
The receptionist was a cheery girl, lithe and with a calm demeanor. It'll only take me a moment to walk up and say hello.
Once I arrived, she spoke before I was able to.
"Hello! I'm Mococo! Welcome to our dentist office! Are you a new patient?"
I hesitated for a moment. Of course she wouldn't have seen me before, and I see a card reader next to her on the desk. I can just use my credit card
after I'm seen. I'll keep it simple.
"Yes, I'd like to be seen for a deep cleaning. Do you have time for a walk in today?"
Mococo sounded excited.

>>70766443
>>70798416
(whoops)
"Yes! Yes we do! A deep cleaning? Hoeh, Fuwawa loves doing deep cleanings!"
Ah. Fuwawa must be the licensed dentist, and Mococo takes care of the administrative side of things. That makes sense.
I began to walk away and head to the benches to wait, perhaps fill out some paperwork as a new patient, but instead I found myself
ushered to the back by an excited blonde girl with pink accents. To that familiar dental chair!
It's what you would expect. A chair where a dentist can work on your molars. There of course was the lamp hovering over the chair, and wait, what's this?
There are wrist restraints on the dental chair. That's odd.
Mococo kindly ushered me to said seat.
"Please have a seat! I have to go get Fuwawa, it will only take a moment. Do you have anything you want to see on TV?"
I looked up at the screen which was playing an old episode of Squeeb Street and kindly accepted the headphones Mococo gave me.
"No, this is fine. Thank you." I said with a dismissive tone. "It has been a long time since I saw these kind of shows."
Without warning, Mococo clasped my wrists in the odd cuffs fastened to the chair. It's their office, but I had to show a little concern.
"Is that necessary?" I asked with a tinge of fear in my voice.
"Un. Un!" Said Mococo. "It keeps Fuwawa happy!"
I...couldn't quite give a response to that. Perhaps Fuwawa is just eccentric. You'd have to treat customers well to get repeat visits.
Come to think of it, I never filled out my patient information, nor did I take any X-Rays so they could check for cavities.
There's no way for this office to cross reference my files with other dental offices without some of that info.
I wonder...
Mococo gave me a light rub on the shoulder.
"I'm going to go get Fuwawa, okeh!? It won't be long, so don't worry!"

>>70798540
I...see. I'm fastened to a chair watching little squeebs on the monitor above teach children about the alphabet.
Fortunately I went to the bathroom before I drove here, so I don't have to worry about my bladder acting up. I just need to be patient.
Tap tap tap tap. I heard footsteps and another distinct pair of feet. Paws. Hitting the floor.
I looked out of the door that Mococo had used to leave earlier, and watched her return with something that concerned me. That's a dog.
A blonde dog with blue highlights in its hair. It's easy to recognize as the Chow breed.
"That's a Chow." I said with utmost concern.
Mococo only gave me a gentle laugh.
"That's not a chihuahua, that's Fuwawa, and I'm not Fuwawa, I'm Mococo! Together we're FUWAMOCO!"
I didn't say chihuahua, I said...nevermind.
There was no time to collect my thoughts. That Chow. Fuwawa. Put her two front paws on my right leg.
Dog food. That's what I could smell on Fuwawa's breath. I wasn't really fond of having a large dog in a medical office. It felt unsanitary.
Mococo's voice drew me from my thoughts.
"Open your mouth and let Fuwawa do her work, okeh!? Don't struggle or bite, Fuwawa is only doing what she can to help you!"
Oh, so this is why trying new things isn't always a smart thing to do.
Without any warning Fuwawa stuck her giant dog tongue in my open mouth.
*SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP*
My mind was going numb. That tongue was going all the way down my throat and felt like it could scoop out my heart.
*SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP*
As I tried to breathe, I struggled, only to feel one of Fuwawa's front paws on my chest.
*SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP SCLORP*
In my haze, I could barely hear Mococo's voice.
"It won't be too much longer! Just bear it the best you can!"

>>70798715
I had to breathe out of my nose very slowly, Fuwawa's tongue was running over every tooth with purpose.
What if this really was getting my teeth clean? It's unorthodox, but it's no less gross than normal dentistry.
With nothing else I could do, I accepted my fate.
It felt strange, listening to the rhythmic schlorping in my mouth, but any discomfort I had faded away and before long it was over.
Fuwawa hopped off of me and left the room, while Mococo came to me quickly with a glass of water.
"Rinse!" Mococo said. By the time I had spat out the given water, I had had my wrists freed.
I took a deep breath and spoke my thoughts.
"That was an experience."
Mococo quickly held up a mirror to me, letting me see my teeth. They were pristine, it even looked like somehow my gums were no longer receding.
My teeth were impeccably clean. Even despite what just happened, it was difficult to be anything but amazed.
I rubbed my chin and looked up at Mococo.
"Alright. I'm convinced. Thanks."

>>70798797
Mococo smiled at me.
"I hope you'll come see us again in three months! We may not need Fuwawa next time!"
I know this girl didn't mean she was going to use her tongue, but the thought crossed my mind. Not that she'd ever know.
I realized I had barely watched the television after Fuwawa got to work, but it seems like at least twenty minutes had passed as a new show was airing.
I gathered myself and stood up from the chair, checking to make sure I had all of my belongings. I did.
"So, I guess it's time to pay." I said with a nervous glare. I'm about to pay for a dog licking my teeth clean.
Mococo gave a nervous laugh.
"No. This is a freebie. I can tell this was a...not the experience you expected. I'm sorry."
It really wasn't, but they did a proper job and I was allowed to rinse afterwards. It's an odd situation all around.
I took a breath and asked a question that had been bothering me for a few minutes now.
"Mococo, is this place actually licensed to do dentistry?"
Mococo gave me a light nod.
"Y-Yeah. It's just...experimental. Please come back again in three months and let us protect your smile. We're serious about your health."
I looked out the window and gave a clean smile.
"Alright. Set my next appointment."

The End.

>>70786424
Here's an obvious one you missed
>Sole surviving twin Mococo
Outside of that you're going to have to go with either something setting specific or made up for the purposes of the fic. Something like
>Normal Akai Haato (Haachama removed/medicated)

>>70801751
How about someone getting early-onset Alzheimer's?

>>70802895
Marine...

>>70786424
Actual schizophrenic Chloe, freaking out about ghosts that only exist in her head

>>70803403
A broken Marine would just be one without a libido.

>>70803587
>Has sex with random men and records her experience for her boyfriend
>Boyfriend doesn't actually exist.

>>70803912
She should let me download those vids off her phone so I can show them to her boyfriend who never seems to be around for her. I'll also save them onto my PC just in case as well.

Why is it so sexy when chuubas start crying?

>>70804552
Suisei's crying was sexy while Botan's crying was heartwrenching.

>>70804656
>>70804552
I have felt awful every time Fubuki has cried.

>>70804742
I honestly can't remember the last time she full on cried. Most I can recall are some sniffles during one of her Marvel movie watchalongs and during Mel's termination.

chloe's hands and my throat were made for each other

>>70804742
It's funny, when Rushia got the boot and Marine was crying during the sankisei statement, I could feel my heart wrenching for her.
Listening to it again now, I only feel fury at the indignation.
Everyone gave Flare shit but she was more right than we knew.

>>70807441
>accidentally triggering Chloe's hyper leather vector reflexes when you ask her to choke you a bit for the sexual thrill

>>70804826
Here you go!
https://files.catbox.moe/4q9g67.mp4

>>70808419
Bad sukonbu
*squirts water at you*
bad.

>>70809345
Pain is equally as enticing as pleasure - emotional and otherwise.

>>70791732
If it's not in the Archive or the Hard Archive it's probably gone.

>>70791732
You can use the old hard archive from 4-10-22, the anon back then did a manual backup of fics so it actually does have 'Losing to the clock" stored.

>>70804656
When has Suisei cried?

>>70811390
When she sang Inochi with Azki and when she sang Pale Blue when Coco graduated

The duality of first model Petra (cute and probably funny childhood friend) and later model Petra (older, mature, very straighforward woman)

>>70812131
And her 3D

>>70766529
>>70777547
I did it for him.

>>70766529
>>70787372
Ririka has a brilliant startup idea: Uber for enjo kousai.
Unfortunately, almost all of the girls she scouted to be her initial users on the "supply" side bailed suddenly, and the grand opening to the public is tomorrow! Ririka's investors are furious with her, and threaten to withdraw funding unles Ririka finds a solution.
Desperate to avoid bankruptcy and personal ruin, Ririka turns to her only remaining veteran, Hoshikawa Sara. Hoshikawa offers to teach Ririka what she does. The next morning, the two set off to visit their first costumer.

>>70814052
I know you meat this prompt as a dating thing but
>Uber for enjo kousai.
Just makes me imagine Hoshikawa and Ririka carrying a fat guy halfway across Tokyo.

>>70786424
Hysterectomy Mio

>>70814052
Are they friends?

>>70814929
Does she actually have a kid before the Hysterectomy happens?

>>70815898
It would be more tragic if she did and if the kid was dead by the time the story starts.

>>70815991
That's fucking brutal and Mio 100% doesn't deserve something as tragic as that.

It would be interesting to read though if it was written seriously and properly. But it'd leave a bad taste in my mouth (I think) and only wish for Mio to get something good in her life.

LIVE

>>70815898
Yes, a duck and an oni.

>>70818871
And the duck gets neglected because the child that somehow dies is the oni, right?

>>70811390
She also cried a bit at the end of Vsaikyou.

>>70819196
I don't like the dying child idea, so no

>>70819388
Was just going off on what >>70815991 said but I can understand why "dying child" would be a bad thing for a fic.

Plus, Subaru doesn't deserve more bullying.

>>70819538
Have we ever actually had a fic exploring the 'subaru is the unfavored child' thing? I remember a lot of discussion but I don't actually remember this being in a real fic.

>>70814929
>>70815898
>>70818871
>You shouldn't marry me, Anon...I will never be able to have your children.
>What are you talking about, Mio? I already have two beautiful daughters from you.

>>70820210
No, it's a bit of a low-hanging fruit and also cruel to play straight as more than a joke.

>>70820273
I'd still love her / make her happy even if it was physically impossible for her to have children.

>>70812131
You're forgetting Level 3 Petra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olFHv8W2dIQ

>>70824808
why is she naked under the jacket? is she retrograde?

So what are your wordcounts looking like right now anons?
Bonus Question: What's a fic/concept that lives rent free in your head? What are the chances that you'll write it yourself?

Bump

>>70828134
Wordcount wise im all over the place. Im juggling stuff and seeing what works and what doesnt.
right now? 1500 on the one i just stopped writing for now
>Bonus
Alt suisei definitely. Altough i kinda wanna take a crack at "Coco fights another dragon and loses"
Both of these are lightyears apart

>>70828134
1400. Ok, I'm spending way too much time minting my words here.
>Bonus
For a concept, well I'm gonna ask for opinions here.
Can the Cell, or just a sub-branch of it, work as a SCP-like entity. While I don't have any plan for Advent themselves, I need a way for a fantasy setting to be transformed into "20 minutes into the future".
I'm thinking of an organization that suppresses magic or anything "supernatural" and the Cell kinda fit as the ancient root and a place that hold the most dangerous beings while its modern subsidiaries are more the typical "detect, capture, study, censor."

>>70828134
my current wip is currently at 1600
>bonus
both Kurokami's Errand Boy & a bleach/jjk inspired chuuni fic keeps popping in my head,
both have a pilot chapter written out at over 6000 words each but both also need to be rewritten in some parts.

>>70832516
Could you go into a little more detail about what you need your fantasy setting to be? Are you trying to make a place with more modern metropolises with the convenience of tech like phones and computers?

>>70832516
Im confused on what you are asking here. You could always look something like the Ba sing Se setting in Avatar TLA. Basically a place where censure and black ops are rampant and enforced by a special military police that has no problem wiping your memory off.
So say you have castles and peasants and stuff but you have a corps of assasins running around and censoring dissidents and "re-educating" the knights when they investigate something they shouldnt

>>70832907
>>70833250
To put it simply, I'm setting up for anthology here. There're two distinct eras, a millennium apart. A medieval one with castles and magic, and a modern one with phone and Tokyo. Some stories take place in fantasy time while some stories happen in the other, featuring the organization or just completely normal. Some straight up span the entire timeline.

Too many things conviently lined up for me to not try connect them all together.

>>70834510
In that case you could work The Cell as a Prison island of some sort. With time, said inhabitants started taking the job of keeping everything under wraps both to protect themselves and to avoid a similar situation

>>70834510
what if the organization in question is meant to deal with supernatural forces in secret (sort of like the men in black but with fantasy creatures) and the organization has a base around the gate that branches the two worlds, allowing characters to go from one side to the other freely

>>70834896
>sort of like the men in black but with fantasy creatures
Yes, exactly that.
>base around the gate that branches the two worlds
That wouldn't work because
1, it's still the same world, the only difference is whether the years is 1000 or 2024.
2, there's already other realms, Heaven and Hell. The devils, in particular, actually allowed wizards and monster races to take refuge when Cells was established and started erasing everything fantasy from Earth, forming the Underworld Academy

>>70834510
There are already some good mentions of how you can go about it. You can also use the idea of a remote culture / clan removed from civilization that charges themselves as the wardens of The Cell. That also lets you play with the idea of a character who doesn't want to resign to a fate of being cut off from the rest of the world, and could be possibly persuaded by a prisoner of your choice to free her and they could see how the world has changed.

>>70834896
>>70836033
Actually that's a good idea.
I was going to have an Anon take incredibly shady job offer for a shady part of town which is an offshoot of the Cell. But having him actually working at THE CELL proper, signing his life away for a faraway place or born into it. That accentuates the threat of prisoners, they weren't just captured, they were brought up from the depths to be researched, for answers. And Anon would no longer be oblivious, he's jaded with the shits going there, which still fit the theme I was going for.

>>70837120
There ya go, you're starting to roll now. Get some good outlining done with that momentum.

up

>>70828134
5332 words, haven't had the time to add more but hoping to change that this weekend.
>bonus
Alt!Suisei, HoloX toku, and being Hajime's underling. If they're living in my head chances of me writing them are decent but each of those easily could be a series outright and I have priorities.

>>70840843
Lui you hag hawk im fucking writing, stop giving me that look

>>70840942

>>70841033
you know what? fuck you
*Un-impregnates your eggs*

>>70841165
She'll just get pregnant again.

>>70841265
That womb is dusty, no way she's getting a second batch cooked

>>70841393
Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do.
In fact I don't get a say at all when it comes to this woman. Have you seen her fucking hips? She could squeeze blood out of a diamond with those beauts.

>>70766443
https://rentry.org/5p8moatn

Collaring Zeta.
TAGS: Collar, Kemono, Vestia Zeta


i want to drown Zeta on my cum, i want her to suck my dick like she means to steal all my cum, i want to facefuck her until cum comes out of her nostril and she's gagging. i want her to lead me on and go "that's it?" only for me to start proneboning her.
I want her facade to fall off the instant she's penetrated as she cums like a beast.

Ahem. Zeta cute. Collar hot.

>>70840843
Lui thighs...

>>70843266
Eyes on the thighs.

Uppy.

>>70842152
I’m not sure why you wrote this in greentext format when most of it was in normal prose and not the short, quick sentences that usually come with traditional greentexts. It was cute, but very basic. I can’t say much about it.

>>70842152
very cute and hot
I was hoping for a description of her collar, but the kids curled up in bed with her was cute too

>>70845884
>>70847188
thanks. i wrote all 3 of the collar greentexts like that because i really dont write. ive tried my hand and i always hate my prose and end up writing whole bunch of nothing.
These greentexts allow me to express this burning desire of weird petplay that lingers inside of me

>>70840843
Lui... no... why are you smiling at me like that...?

>>70847963
So you're a bit of an expert on the fetish. Did someone else do it justice for you so far?

>>70848137

>>70848656
Both the botan and the rurudo/towa scratch different sides of it.
The botan one is all about the sex and the aftercare of it which is really good. The rurudo one is a bit weird on how it reads but quickly takes the best part of the stuff that is that whole dance before it(altough it ends before it can be perfect)

>>70849737
How do you feel about Extrapedestrial?

>>70849891
Id say conflicted. I like the idea of "walking play" but here is a bit too nonchalant and it kinda loses me. Maybe if i had more of the pre-collar relationship i could love it.
I dont hate it tho. I just wished it leaned into embarassment and or a different kind of control since everyone here just rolls with it

>>70842152
Why didn't you write the part where they fuck? That's like my favorite part.

>>70851127
My smut is pretty shit. If it helps its a lot of blowjob then picking up zeta and banging her until she's exhausted so pronebone for the finishing shot

>>70851633
Not to pressure you or anything, but you won't improve unless you try! Everyone is always game to read some smut and offer you some feedback on it. You sound super passionate about your collaring, so if it's something you'd want to pursue, give it a try and see how it comes out.

>>70851633
You're not doing her doggystyle while using leash and collar to hold her in place?

>>70851850
well im triying. i have some wips i keep polishing and attempting to. Specially Marine as a fox.

Aside from that, i guess its just putting the work. I want everyone to share my brainrot and im glad koreabro translated the koyori one
>>70851937
The reward here is the collar. Also being that rough would fit someone more unwieldly. Zeta is pretty easy to turn the tables on and she's pretty soft so the harshest you could be on her would be putting your fingers in her mouth and forcing it open or some light hair pulling.
I think part of having that pet dynamic is adjusting the treatment for the pet

>>70851850
Even more bullying. You're pathetic. If you want to see him write so bad, why don't you just pay him for it?

>>70852774
Remind me again sister, what stories have (You) written?

>>70852674
Fair enough bro. Keep it up, the collar and more animal side play of being a partner to one of the girls is something I super appreciate.

threadshitter going for some wild tactics recently

>>70854360
The bully arc begins now.

>>70852774
>comes into the writing general
>cries about loneliness
>gets offended when suggested to write
>tries to 'no u' with no success
>when someone else is suggested to write, gets offended on their behalf

>>70852674
>The reward here is the collar. Also being that rough would fit someone more unwieldly. Zeta is pretty easy to turn the tables on and she's pretty soft so the harshest you could be on her would be putting your fingers in her mouth and forcing it open or some light hair pulling.
>I think part of having that pet dynamic is adjusting the treatment for the pet
That's a fair take, but Zeta can be bratty if she wants to...I'd like her to intentionally provoke me into treating her more harshly.

>>70855079
Point taken. However zeta isnt a full on brat. She loves teasing and flirting but is far more suited for instant loss since her resistance to pushback is negative.

I do think she could goad you into choking her though

>>70828134
45k... and the finish line is still far beyond my reach...
>Bonus
Most of the ideas I come up with do get written in some form. Every time I come up with an interesting one I write a couple thousand words about it before losing motivation, so technically I have written them myself. But as for actually finishing the concepts in my head, that's pretty unlikely, especially if I allow it to snowball. As a result there's a handful of unfinished stories with ideas that I like sitting in my pile of WIPs. Off the top of my head I have:
>Protecting yakuza princess Lamy when her father gets involved in a coup
>HoloX hypnosis
>Big fucking story involving demons and a demon hunters guild, starring three protagonists -- You, Marine and Towa.
I usually post my WIPs here when I know they're going to be dropped forever, so one of these might turn up as an unfinished idea someday.

>>70857953
oh man the lamy yakuza is one of my favorites, specially if you "cross" it over with the cabaret
>Hiding lamy in the cabaret the family owns
>she drinks like crazy and stumbles into one table
>The guys love it and spend a small fortune triying to match her drinks
She also has a great chemistry with Marine and Botan, who are in that prompt

>>70858888
Which prompt was this? I recall the yakuza princess concept being thrown around a lot but I'm not sure if anyone made it a full prompt.

>>70766443
Red Mountain Terror, Chapter One

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS3LV07UfknjudLjZBHtrGKB0Y-6U9lNgn6unnyqb4XpBBkcVUC80c8-PURp7WeRkaZ30hYUDaB-Cqj/pub

tags: horror, wilderness, Sora, Noel, Fubuki, Lui, Suisei

>>70858888
god i wanna demolish her asshole and make her wear a buttplug
>>70859457
i dont think a proper prompt was made, but yakuza princess lamy pops up so often (annoying troublesome woman, hiding with her, her being kinda haughty, fucking the pride out of her, banging while drunk as shit, triying no to bang her despite her obscene body demanding a good old fashioned rape) that it might as well be a prompt on its own

>>70857953
96 pages holy shit

>>70859830
As always, your pacing is too fast and everything happens way too suddenly.
Seriously man, I recommend reading some books. I know you mentioned a while back that you didn't like to read, whether it be actual books or fics from the archive, but you'd be genuinely surprised at how much you can improve from seeing how the pros do it. Just a single novel can point you in the right direction, even if you're not taking notes of how the prose and dialogue works. If I'm to be perfectly honest your writing has only marginally improved over the last two years.
I'm well aware that I sound like a cockhead, but it's just frustrating seeing the sheer amount of stories you're able to pump out and not being able to get into any of them.

>>70861113
In this one I wanted to cut a bit to the chase just so we can get to the real meat of the story. I wanted the first chapter to lay the groundwork and provide a rather quick hook because I felt personally it'll be a bit too much like idling to stop and smell the roses in this particular story (not that that won't happen in the future of this story, more that this first chapter I wanted to be a quicker pace).

I do read, but I will admit I don't read horror fiction almost at all. This story in particular was inspired by stories I heard rather than read and I've never written a horror story so this won't be perfect by any stretch.

It's less improvement and more that I deliberately chose to make my stories like this. I have always been someone who is frustrated when authors spend too much time describing, too much time writing dialogue that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme, etc. It's probably an unpopular opinion, but I am someone who generally likes to cut to the chase for most scenes. It might be a flaw but I will be honest in the fact that i am someone who generally prefers a more concise and to the point story, reading or writing. I get that that's probably an unpopular opinion but it's one that I have.

>>70857953
What is this? Some kind of survival fic?

>>70859830
Okay i have some critiques because i think you didnt quite land this one

>Lui tells her “How did you two get lost anyway?”
Its clear they were a group of four, i think you missed this mistake

>“I don’t want to talk about it.”
You showed your hand way too early. Like, hilariously Early.
Setting up the last survivor early isnt a mistake, but blatantly impliying she commited cannibalism early on deflates the story by a lot. Either your subtext is wrong or there is no subtext and is just text (yeah they all died and thats bad)
>Pacing
I dont expect amateur fanfic writers to be master of pacing, and hell im bad at pacing. I think you just blitzed through here with no rhyme or reason. You cant set up the aftermath, the beggining and the conflict all at once...and then not finish it. The fic just stops.

There isnt a point to sit back and feel the characters because they arrive at the lake instantly and its already night time..there isnt a point where im intimidated or even shaken because the moose comes and goes instantly. It just goes and has no brakes, and that's not how horror works.
>Characterization and Dialogue
Your dialogue is usually serviceable. Here there's two issues
A) Characters are just saying things. Asking HEY FUBUKI WHY PLOT RELEVANT SCARF? without rhyme or reason is just weird. They all have winter clothes, why is a scarf the stand out thing? Couldnt you work in some organic dialogue? Lui also doesnt feel distressed, she feels automatic.
>"Phew. Thought i forgot my scarf"
>"Hey you take that everywhere. Is it special?"
>"Yeah, mom knitted it for me like....geez, three years ago? is pretty good"

>"Hoshi- Hoshimachi? Hoshimachi Suisei? Nevermind get in! get in!"
>"Okay. Im sorry if im being insistent. Are you Hoshimachi Suisei? The rangers been looking out for you all week"

B)Characterization is weird. Are they all friends? Suisei is a performer but what about the others?. Even in B movies you have to stablish what the fodder is all about, so their deaths can be karmic, appropiate or impactful.

They are all novice campers except fubuki who apparently is inexplicably good at making fire? is she a seasoned camper? Is sora? Is suisei?
Also Noel.. is she a novice ranger? a local? why is she willingly giving a gun to someone she doesnt know. Its a bunch of missing details that prevent us from getting in.

>>70862950
>i think you missed this mistake

shoot I did. I'll got edit that.

>You cant set up the aftermath, the beggining and the conflict all at once...and then not finish it. The fic just stops.

Fair. It may have been wiser to post the first two chapters that way it could be spread a little evenly.

>Asking HEY FUBUKI WHY PLOT RELEVANT SCARF?

it was clumsy in execution, but I wanted to have a small signifier of things like that. It probably would've been keener to mention it once in the present segment, once to show it's meaning to Foobs and then not mention it until later. Like I said, I'm a total novice at writing a horror story so what works for my other stories is something I just autopilot. Usually in my other stories I can be a bit more heavy handed in symbolism without it being intrusive so it just kinda happens.

>"Phew. Thought i forgot my scarf"
>"Hey you take that everywhere. Is it special?"
>"Yeah, mom knitted it for me like....geez, three years ago? is pretty good"

These are good and unfortunately I just didn't imagine it quite like that while writing.

>characterization

There's still time for that at least, especially if I slow it down some. Sorry it didn't quite land as much as I was hoping but, like I said, this isn't my usual wheelhouse. What I was honestly worried about as well is that chapter one may be a bit to slow and uneventful to properly capture the audience which is why I pulled the trigger so quick on it.

This will be a bit of a difficult fic to perfect evidently, especially since I doubt I'll be inspired to do horror works all too often.

>>70859830
This could use another pass at proof reading. At the end of the first scene Lui asks how the -two-, Suisei and one other person, got lost, but she had info already that four girls were in her party. The number is also off when Noel is handing out the extra side piece, unless she meant it as a pre-established rule that their groups would be split in a certain way in the event of getting lost. For interactions, it feels like people who aren't or shouldn't be familiar with one another (Lui -> Suisei), are way too casual. The dynamic between the traveling group is also a little strange since I'm assuming they are longer time friends, so some of the questions they ask are rather strange. They would have surely seen Fubuki's scarf before if they spent any time prior in cold weather. Stuff about Noel's experience and such would also have been known, also hence why they might agree to follow her into the mountains. Also Noel in general strikes me as off, since if she's a responsible camper, she would never give a gun to someone not trained to shoot unless it was absolutely necessary, and would definitely steer her group back at the first sign of poor weather, that's like hiking 101.
I saw in your other post that you wanted to get into the meat of the story, but this isn't exactly hooking me since you started with an end result, which is a little heavy handed, and then going to very absolute start, where the only thing I have to assume about this trek is that the weather fucked them over. I think a better start to a horror-centered story, is to give any spooky background on the area, myths, past stories, etc. Make it how Suisei or another member is mulling the idea over and deciding if they really want to go through it despite the rumors. Or have them chalk it all up to superstition. I'm not really sure where the tension is meant to be in this chapter either. I'm kinda ripped from the conflict and mystery at the start to go through a pretty peaceful trek up the trails. Should I be afraid of the moose? Is it an omen? Well he's kinda gone, so that's that. I'm not really lulled into a false sense of security either since I already know how poorly this ends.
Also referring to your other post, there is methods to cut to the chase and give the story the proper background and meat. On one hand, if you are just writing to get the idea into fruition and it makes more sense in your head, that's your choice, but readers won't have the same context as you do.

>>70858888
My take on yakuza Lamy is slightly different, I think. It's basically an excuse to let my Yakuza (games) brainrot run free. It's panning out to be a mystery/drama about a group of yakuza teaming up with foreign powers to overthrow the old yakuza ways, with you and Lamy caught in the middle of it. There would be a lot of fights with HEAT ACTIONS, accompanied by the best of the Yakuza/LAD soundtracks. And troublesome woman sex. Some of that towards the end, too. I pray I get back to this someday, but it's looking too grand of a project to work on right now.
Here's a sneak peek.
>>70860844
Yeah, it's been cooking for quite some time. Thanks. I'm considering splitting it up into two documents, but I want to reach a suitable ending point for both plotlines within the first chapter. I think 110 pages is looking like a reasonable estimate.
>>70862516
Sort of, survival is one of the aspects but it's going to involve a lot of action as well. Half of the story will be told in the present, while the other half will be a variety of flashbacks that allow the reader to piece together the full story.

>>70859457
I'm pretty sure Lamy being some kind of Yakuza princess is based off an old rrat exaggerating the idea of lamy's family being loaded. I don't think it's ever formally been made into a prompt but the ideas nearly as old as her debut.

>>70865202
>I want to reach a suitable ending point for both plotlines within the first chapter. I think 110 pages is looking like a reasonable estimate.
Anon... That's less first chapter, and more like first book.

>>70865401
Book, chapter, they're all just our inner soul out on the pages man. We all just gotta do what our hearts are chillin for.

>>70865202
hats off my man. Give yourself a pat in the back and please stick it in lamy's butt

Or fuck her while putting vodka in her asshole, she would love that and since its Yakuza inspired just say its rubber sake

>>70859830
>horror, Fubuki, Suisei
>her cheeks were remarkably plump
>“What did you eat out there?”
Ignore the other anons giving you a hard time; they'll come to understand the genius after the twist reveal that this is a sequel to Paradise Lost

>>70865401
I can call it part one to make things simple. Unless somebody likes it enough to print the whole thing out and make a paperback copy. Then I'll have no choice but to call it book one.

>>70866438

>>70866438
holy shit now that this image is posted again and Goriella comes back to my brain i got it.
>Get sent with an expedition to study gorilla habitat
>there meet Dr Kaela. A genius from Indonesia that is a tad cooky
>Get assigned to a Male gorilla that is really pacific and cooperative despite his massive size. Kaela, in her ever infinite autism, manages to teach it hand signal
>The Gorilla's name is Gori-Ella. She protests but you (and the gorilla) agree its cute and fun
>Fall in love with this weird woman who speaks in broken english and try to learn her hand language to surprise and impress her
>Learn she's in love with you and she's taking her love advice from a fucking 1 ton gorilla because she's way too fucking autistic
>By the end of the story, in true autistic scientist love, Gori-ella is the wingman of this awkward couple

>>70862453
I don't know dude, I've spent like and hour trying to come up with a better way to say it but if you think that character moments, dialogue, emotional connections, are ultimately all only vehicles for the plot and are superfluous or 'frustrating' when they try to be anything more, I don't what else to say other than you're a bad writer with a fundamentally bad understanding of writing.

>>70863870
yeah I accidently missed that part because when i first wrote it it was going to be two. I did fix it so sorry about that one.

I should've elaborated on it a bit more, but they're more like close but not that close which is why they don't know some personal details.

as for the rest, honestly it may warrant a re-write entirely. I was trying to tackle it at the wrong angle it seems.

>>70868553
i don't even know what to say to that other than piss off. What am I meant to say to that? I don't want to sound combative because I have been before at critiques, but what the hell do you want me to say to that?

It isn't that I find all of those useless or frustrating, I am just someone who prefers less details, sometimes it can be too much like here, but if you're calling that into all of my other work than all I can say is go take a long flight off a short runway.

>>70869782
Well your angle seems right from your own personal preference for how a story should go, but it doesn't make for a good read for someone that isn't you. I think that is the easiest way to try and drive the point home, if you read something similar to this from another person, why would you think? I'll have to echo another anon's suggestion to read some other works and try to learn how they tell their story. I think if I remember correctly you said reading other people's work is taxing for you, but I think it would be worth the effort to do it and see how you can find some techniques to help hone your own writing. I really think it would do wonders for you, since all you have to compare with currently are pages only you yourself have written.

>>70870672
(me) *What would you think?
Brain is a bit blasted at the moment. The news that just dropped hit me good. I love DB and everything that man created helped shape me in some way. I hope he's hanging ten on that big nimbus cloud in the sky.

>>70869782
What else have you written?

>>70868553
>but if you're calling that into all of my other work than all I can say is go take a long flight off a short runway.
I am and it does. You make the same mistakes no matter how much you write of anything 'different', and no matter how often you're told. I gave up on To Slay a Monster before you did because of it, I gave up on Balsa for the same reasons, and even with that I tried to give you advice for the most recent chapter of Blackbean that upon reading you didn't take it to heart so that ultimately after two years and like a million words that you just prefer it that way means to me that you are a bad writer.

>>70871566
>this is how I find out
Dang...

>>70871805
>tfw you respond to yourself
Guess I'm a badwriter too lmao

>>70869782

>>70842152
This is genuinely a cute concept. Though, you really should start experimenting writing in prose. Because the writing style here is almost vn-esque in that it feels like the story almost needs visuals in order to feel complete... Either that or see if you can pitch getting this draw or generated by the respective art threads.

>>70870672
Reading more is never a negative, it's just about time and energy. It's not that I disagree with you (or others) on that point, but life happens, ya know? I know it's a cheap cop out to say it but it's something it feels like I never have enough time or energy to do, or worse, I haven to chose between writing and reading and that's always a hard choice.

>>70871741
A lot of stories but people know me best for Apple of Her Eye and Building Block Doll.

>>70871805
It may be silly of me to say it, I'd have to disagree. Even if I didn't make the leaps as close as I'd like, Balsa chapter one vs the final 12 or so chapters are so different in terms of improvement. Taken as a collective work, you can see my improvement over time. I can't tell you you're wrong for not enjoying it, it was never my most popular work. However i think you're being much to harsh and a bit of a jackass.

I have written good works before but when it comes to venturing out of the stories I'm good at, I struggle. You don't need to be suck a dick about it and my god if it's this much of a struggle for you then don't read anything I write. If it's such a burden and such an effort then why do you pick it up to begin with? Sorry for getting so mad but man.

>>70828134
16460 across a few different WIPs. I'm in hell

Bonus: I've been wanting a smut fic where you're the far more assertive one to a more autistic chuuba who is more amazed that you'd actually WANT to fuck them because they thought you'd view them as too weird or off-putting to get you horny. The odds are aren't zero, but as previously stated I have a few too many irons in the fire already.

>>70874378
Have you chosen to read over writing before? Since you might not have read much of the archive so far, you should make it a daily challenge for yourself to read at least 1 random story a day. A lot really don't take a lot of time to read at a brisk but leisurely pace. You'd not only be doing yourself a service by devoting a little extra of your time in the pursuit of becoming a more knowledgeable writer, you'd also find yourself having quite a bit of fun as well. And while I'm nta who brought up Balsa, while the differences between chapters 1 and 12 are there, I didn't really feel like you retained the lessons you learned and brought them over when you tried that Suisei ageplay thing and this newest piece. It's one thing to take a piece of feedback and apply it to the next direct chapter, but it doesn't amount to a lot if the lessons aren't fully grasped and applied to your overall approach to writing.
Maybe the longer form prose you try to keep going for isn't really for you? At least for right now. Maybe a different style of writing would be better suited for the types of stories you want to tell and how fast you want to tell them.

>>70875090
I have and usually it's the choice between a chapter written or a chapter or three read. I know I need to do it more often but it's just hard when it often comes to it being energy that I could've done writing. I know I need to do it more, it's just hard.

It's why I haven't released chapter two of The Star yet. I actually have the whole thing written, however it's like chapter one where it just doesn't land at all like I want it to land. And until I can figure out how to make it work properly it's going to stay there unfortunately.

I keep trying to hit the target and keep missing and I don't know why. Not to sound pessimistic or maybe it's just the mood i'm in, but I have a sneaking suspicion reading won't fix it either. Not saying I'm going to use that as an excuse to not read but well... i'm not really sure about things right now is all I can say without getting to personal. Writing is my passion and when you keep practicing and keep missing it starts to wear a bit on you, which is why I am getting a bit more combative at times when i shouldn't be.

>>70875685
You should try to make money off your passion instead of arguing with people on an Icelandic fishing forum.

>>70874378
If you had another tantrum and deleted all your works from the archive again, nobody would care. You should consider doing so.

>>70874378
>I have written good works before
I’m not trying to rag on you, but could you tell me what they are? I want to know what you think is a good story that you’ve written.

>>70859830
Pretty boring. You don't paint much of a scene.

>>70876621
Apple of Her Eye, Building Block Doll, First Train and Kafka, Sakura Summer are all stories I think are good and I've received a lot of praise for. None of them are flawless, but they are good for their genres.

>>70854494
I can't believe this post actually precedes a bullying arc of trying to get sakurasummeranon to get better at writing.

>>70875685
What are you generally doing to practice and improve your skills and storytelling? The reading of other regarded works should help, as you can even adapt some of their strengths into your own styling. If things are also a little difficult for you personally, maybe it’s a good idea to step back and let yourself go at a slower pace.

>>70876882
practice and taking bits and pieces for the limited stories I do read.

The problem is that I think I fix the critiques at least passably and integrate what works in other stories into my own without it becoming their work and not mine and well... you can see how well it's working out. I keep thinking I hit the mark and keep not hitting the mark.

>>70877240
So maybe a good exercise for you would be to take the constructive feedback you got for red mountain and go into detail on HOW you would address them. Working through the how and way can help ingrain the idea into you. There’s a few easy ones with characterization you can try first. Also the answer that it’ll make sense in a later chapter does not properly address the feedback in this case.

>>70877240
As someone who read a lot of your earlier work. Genuinely I think you need to slow down, outline, and think about what kind of story you want to tell more because you keep rushing ahead. You never give your stories breathing room because by the time you finish up a chapter you're already wanting to go to the next story point. Like I gave up after the first arc of balsa because it had that feeling of a poorly thought out first mini arc getting rushed by fast.
Your fundamentals are good but at this point you need to learn how to tell a story not just how to write chapters.

Y'all niggas need Fubuki

>>70879896
Fubuki, what did you eat to stay so healthy?

>>70880829
The Livers of her former husbands.

>>70881251
No Foobs I beg of you, not my Liver!

>>70880829
Lots and lots of sukonbu.

>>70854896
Holy fuck bro this is not me you are replying to, please come to your senses
I just threw this out because I was genuinely distressed at the time. I understand perfectly well that crying about lusting after virtual women was not appropriate in /wg/, so I just posted it under a spoiler and went away
And someone else just decided to have some fun and farm the thread, that's about it

Apart from HJfag, who are the biggest bullies in /wg/?

>>70882761
Me now gimme your lunch money dweeb

I'm gonna bake the next thread Elira edition to celebrate our new drama arc.

>>70882831
Here you go, please don't hurt me

>>70882888
I just won't post in it.

>>70882888
Please don't drag /wg/ into some catalog bullshit. Just post a normal thread.

Smart move dork. See you tomorrow huahahaha

>>70883127
Please no more

>>70882679
I understand how you feel, for what it's worth. That I can't have my cute oni gf doesn't stop me from wishing for her.

Hope the mods are awake. I get the feeling we're about to be sabotaged with 16 fake threads again.

>>70883278
why do you think this...?

>>70882888
Here, for the OP.

>>70877887
I will try of course but I keep saying that and things keep not getting better.

I'm glad you liked my earlier work and maybe a good idea would be to go back and see what made those stories work as opposed to what isn't working now. Because I know in my early days most of my stuff was well received so I had to have been doing something right.

>>70877543
So far it seems that I was tackling it wrong in the idea that I should have a quick opener, just the opposite in fact. The beginning in a horror story should set the tone and work out why the characters are important to each other. Plus dial back the heavy handed bit about the scarf.

Just a matter of how.

>>70881251
I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say she does it when the poor fucker is enamoured with her and she rips open his stomach and takes his liver away from him?

I wrote 1331 words today

>>70886824
Well done anon

>>70886824
Good symmetry

AA stop being lazy

>fauna fart fic is gone from the archive
Dang it

>>70888235
What are you doing here Biboo?

>>70888680
fighting my demons because i shouldnt be into girls passing gas but here i am

>>70888805
It's okay, you'll be able to experience it firsthand in the 3D studio soon.

>>70807459
I like to think that she is crying because she finally realized she couldn't save her from her menhera tendencies.
Marine feels like someone who would take something like that as a personal failure.

>>70828134
I'm putting my fic on hold. tldr it sucks and I'm burned out from writing it at the seat of my pants. I'll have to put it down for a while and put my attention toward working on another project.

>>70888235
If it's not in the hard archive, it's probably gone.
Fics take up basically no storage space, so make backups of your favorites everyone!

>>70828134
What's the original context for this image? She isn't measuring anything

>>70889956
Womb depth

>>70890524
>womb
That's not where the dick goes, it stops at the cervix.

>>70884786
Okay you took the feedback there and just kinda reworded it back to me. You're not trying to list HOW you can address them. You can say and have said things like "I should" followed by a broad stroke statement, that's not the point of the exercise. Get into specifics, say what scenes and interactions you need to help you address the critiques you were given.
If your past works were well received for their prose, I would look back on your process and try to take things you did from there that you somehow forgot.

How do you git gud at writing? I've got a bunch of ideas floating around in my head, but I'm not sure how to put them down on paper in an appealing way.

>>70891396
Reading and rewriting.

>>70891396
Half of it is actually writing whatever you have in mind and listening to the feedback you receive once you post it.
The other half is reading other books/fics and taking inspiration to form your own writing style.

>>70891396
Like with everything practice. You have an idea for something start small, make it a greentext or just make it a horny post. You can't get better if you don't try.

Is "take over the world" too basic for a villain's motive?

>>70892418
Probably, unless her name is La+ Darknesss.

>>70891396
i think iterating its key.
While i agree with the sentiment of "practice and you will get better", its a bit too nebulous for someone a bit lost. write something, anything, and give it a read, then make others give it a read.
What can you improve? what works? is it too long? too short? too wordy? too curt?
Sometimes you cant see something until someone points it out
>>70892418
A villain is pure execution. People dont hate DIO from Jojo despite being "mwehehehe evil" because he's built as this egomanical creature with abnormal charisma and he delivers tenfold.
Another example is the bad guy from the james cameron avatar: Evil McMilitary guy is irrelevant because he's not built at all, there is n depth or reason for him taking the resources aside from american imperialism. If they worked it so earth is diying and he was there when the nukes fell, or the supplies are dwindidling and he hates the blue guys because they dont "see the potential of the world" then the movie would have something going for him

>>70826950
She forgot to put on her clothes because was late leaving her home

>>70893970
Or maybe she didnt care like in that Miko masturbation short.

>Mori
>Suisei
>Iroha
>Anya
>Ririka
>Flare
>Kaela

All of these girls? perfect for oneeshota. ITs true, it was revealed to me in a dream also the captcha lemao

>>70894891
How can you have an oneeshota list and not have Noel there

>>70894940
because she's molesting them when she's older, duh

>>70888235
Which one?
>>70891396
Reading.

>>70894891
How can you forget about Fubuki, anon?

>>70894891
>not including fubuki or noel who live and breathe oneeshota

>>70894891
>Anya
Anya?

Live

>>70766529
An AU where the Holos are both chuubas and Warframe operators.

>>70898501
>All holos are actually psychic lolis using their powers to sympathize and pilot their chuuba bodies.
Uoh?

>>70766529
HoloCouncil Creation Myth, could also expand to include chuubas from other gens

>>70899397

I wonder if something like this could still be made for any of the promise/advent girls. Feels like a relic of days gone by. That ame part lives in my head rent free, fuck

>>70899397
it's just something that came to mind when I was listening to an Enuma Elish audiobook. Idk how I'd write it yet

>>70901516
>>70900034
meant

>>70901516
I was confused over the prompt itself. You got two different gens in there but no real idea. Is the idea the legend around the council's creation?

>>70901976
NTA but I'm really uncertain whether you're actually confused or making a wordplay with (Holo)myth.

>>70903228
It's because of the potential wordplay that I'm confused. Like is the prompt asking for something like
>No one knows how exactly the council came to be, or if its members actually exist, but faith is often formed from the unexplained
>Different parts of the world have their own interpretation of its members who act as deities them
>Some cultures have even gone to war over if Fauna is the rightful guardian of nature, or if she usurped the seat from another by means of deception or even murder
>Others refuse to acknowledge Mumei as a full fledged member as she is believed to have been mortal before ascending to the watcher of civilization
>insert some stuff about how other chuubas either believe some of the legends, try to disprove them, etc

Council is dead and its former members are happier for it, let the dead sleep.

Live

>>70901976
>>70903705
yeah, when I said 'Creation Myth' I was talking about things like:
>first there was nothing
>then there was one (AlphaOmega)
>from one, six more are born (Promise/Council)
gods born out of the primordial abyss (or by the hands of other gods) then some prose that ties their personality into their abilities and whether they want to deviate from the directives passed down to them
>>70903803
they're effectively the same when it comes to writing

>>70882679
Sorry, I thought that was the same person making those posts. My bad. I don't really mind you lamenting your loneliness, I was mostly just upset about the bullying accusations and stuff.

>>70908135
If it makes you feel any better, the accusations have only made me stronger. I'll bully each and every one of you into making your dream story a reality, be it by writing, requesting, or reading. You dweebs better not chicken out, or you'll be sorry.

>>70907453
>they're effectively the same when it comes to writing
No, the current Promise members had their official bio on the Hololive website changed.

>>70909395
What are they "promising" anyway?
Inb4: Sex, with me.

>>70898501
> We had created chuubas we couldn't control. We reprimanded them, suspended them, docked their pay... we tried to bully their minds into submission, but it did not work. Until they came. [...] It was somehow, from within the depths of the World Wide Web, they had learned a way to see inside an ugly broken menhera... and take away its pain.

>>70909630
>Once mere observers of humanity from a distance, the members of hololive English -Promise- now set upon a “life-sized adventure” on this world’s stage, seeking answers to their own “promises”.

>>70910011
Is that all there is? Is there any hinting to what individual promise might be? Who it was to?

>>70910200
I read it not as them having promised (pledged) something, but as an expression of the promise (potential) they have.

>>70910200
the promise is sex inbetween them and then with meor to destroy earth after Sana died

>>70914586

A nice dream, nothing more

>>70914586
>>70915680
going to a soapland after a hard day of work and coming across a girl that used to work with you...

>>70917081
>Sana slutting it up because she's no longer a holo
holy shit my dick

>>70918114
Sana in a slutty rave girl outfit at the club, grinding against you...

>>70889035
>Marine feels like someone who would take something like that as a personal failure.
I agree with you and Marine basically said as much. It's why it infuriates me so much now. All that sadness and grief and pain wasted on someone who in all likelihood never valued it to begin with.
Pain with no basis is reality, and that I cant stand.

Live!
With AZKi in a dorm room that you two have to share because AZKi spends too much on KAF's merch to afford rent alone!

How cliche is the "we have to share a bed" trope

>>70925687
If it is cliche, it's still cute. It's also a nice situation for a reader if they've been getting teased at two characters getting more intimate.

>>70925687
i think its under-used as an invitation.
Something like Azki clearly wanting to break your pelvis riding it and going "oh no, i cleaned the futons and now we have to share a bed" with a monotone voice

>>70926854
Man, Azki is underrated sex. That temptress diva...

>>70919906
Mmm, chocolate ass
"Crikey, that's hella stiff!"

>doujin rapist Shiori

>>70931770
Yeah, my rapist

>>70931770
I am going to flood her womb with semen

>>70933643
And how exactly are you gonna do that, big shot?

>>70931770
>Shiori Novella: The banished one (from the relationship appreciation club)

Rise

Can this thread produce a dozen worthwhile posts to warrant bumping it, instead of letting it die?

>>70944999
NO

>>70944999
listen man, unicorn overlord just came out.

I want to lick the non-nipple parts of Shiori's breasts.

OK that's one >>70945740

>>70944999
I'll say something controversial but true and honest to get us the rest of the way there. *Ahem*...

Zoomers deserve to have kids more than hags do

>>70931691
>Sana just keeps cranking up the accent because she see's you like it
>it just becomes incomprehensible gibberish and she can't get through it without laughing

>>70766529
collaring faunya

>>70944999
bump this
*gives you a swirlie*

>>70946245
>"Kroikey Mayre Ur Didgeridoo's Da Biggast On Oi Eva Seen!"
>anon cums buckets
>"O Norugh, Yu Blew A Joey All Ova Meh Milka's!"

>>70946245
>>70948574
>Ending then reveals you're actually Bae's manager, and this was how you got the idea to pitch that telephone stream to her.

>>70944999
Well, I was wondering if I could write a fic about a chuuba spinning revolvers like Revolver Ocelot, though so far I'm only able to think of Botan though she's more of a Kalashnikov girl than a revolver girl
>Revolver Pekora
>*spins two carrots in her hands*
>"You're pretty good, peko."

>>70950680
I mean... https://streamable.com/dkfcdp

I shall bake a new thread on page 8

>>70951537
Keep your promise and make the next bread bully themed.

>>70950680
>she's more of a Kalashnikov girl

>>70950680
I've always pictured Botan with an AS VAL. It's the most tacticool gun the Russians have.

>>70951806
Whats that? A Towa thread? You got it buddy

>>70952523
Baked, migrate when ready

And for that I'll bake a thread with a revolver in it unless someone else is baking

>>70954239 (me)
Never mind, someone else already baked a thread
>>70952523
>>70952523
>>70952523

>>70951375
>Revolver Suisei
That's not something I expected. Pretty good.
>>70952155
I'm aware of this post, though aesthetically I always saw her with Russian long arms, so I'd agree more with this anon >>70952381.
Still, Revolver Botan huh.
>"Lions are proud creatures..."
Yeah, it'd still be badass.