/biz/ - Business & Finance

It's official. I have talked to every girl on campus.

After several months of degenerate cold approaching women. Going to several women clubs around campus. Trying to chat up girls every single day, even in class. Meeting women at sorority parties. Talking to grad students and professors during office hours. I have officially talked to every girl on campus. The feeling of knowing every single woman on campus is something none of you could ever experience in 1000 lifetimes.

You may know me as that one weird kid who just went up to you one day and tried to start a conversation and failed miserably, or PlatinumSparkles on Reddit. Not a single girl passes me who I do not know the name of. That one's Kate. That one's Ana. That one has two names I forget which. But it does not matter.

I have built a rock-solid foundation of communication skills from asking how the weather is to what's your favorite type of ice cream. Every girl that enters my field of vision trembles in fear. They have only level 68 communication skills WHILE I have LEVEL 69!!

After all this work, I still have yet to go on a date. But that won't stop me. Every girl on this campus had better watch out because I'm fucking leveling up. They won't be able to give me a bullshit excuse like "im busy" anymore. I've ascended to an attractive gigachad. Here I come, women.

>I don’t care what Phil Collins says
>I don’t care what PlatinumNotawoman says
>I don’t care what the passion of the Dave 2: Electrified Boy in the Striped Pajama Jewboomafoo says
I’m not selling.

UnobtaniumShart, I don’t care what you say. Phil Collins, I don’t care what you say. Boy in the striped pajamas, I don’t care what you say. I’m not selling.

UnobtainiumShambles, read this. You are not a woman. You will never be a woman. You work for a porch monkey who steals bananas from gas stations and are paid very little to do so. People see that you care too much about a stock you don’t even own. You glow brighter than the fucking son. You will never be a woman, and I don’t care what you think.