For me, it's that she actually mentioned having a girlfriend in the past. I don't mind if she has a boyfriend in the present as long as she doesn't talk about her relationship, because I'm not deluded into thinking I could somehow be in a relationship with her. I'm a lonely person, I'm not going to deny that. Part of the appeal Pomu had for me was that I found her very relatable and I had hope that maybe someday I could meet someone who shares my interests because Pomu exists. I was like, "wow, heterosexual girls who like all this shit actually exist? I feel a little more hopeful for my romantic future now!" But now I'm just reminded of my ex girlfriend, who I learned had some same-sex relationships in the past. At the time I didn't think too much of it because we were together, but then it became obvious she was still glaringly bi. I was unsure if guys were second to women for her, and that started eating me up inside. Eventually I began to feel I wasn't getting the affection I wanted, and things went downhill from there. Today I was reminded of that.
I know Pomu has mentioned liking girls before, and it's not like I wanted to deny it or anything, I just took it in earnest and not at face value. I didn't think she like, *likes* girls, you know. Yeah, it's pathetic, I know. However, shame from ignorance is only temporary. I just need to be more vigilant from now on.
sage for blog