/wg/ - Writing General - In Demand Edition

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"
Yes.

Previous thread: >>67571584
(Where we discussed NTR, Ageplay Suisei, got a visit from Koreabro, and sank into madness making the most /wg/ fic possible)

/wg/ rentry: https://rentry.org/wgrentry/

[Anonymous No.]

Story Anchor
Anchor Away!

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

Story Recap. There was one story posted last thread.

DwarvenIndustries Inc. presents: Choose your own Adventure - Shondo edition: The first Chapter >>67577970
Tags: NSFW, Ryona, Violence, Wholesome, Fallenshadow/Shondo, Second Person

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Stupid sexy pirate. I wish Marine were older than me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731996
>Ryona, Violence, Wholesome

[Anonymous No.]

>>67732213
>tfw Marine is probably 1-2 years older than me
Heh, tough luck ojisan

[Anonymous No.]

>>67732523
Being old is suffering. Oh well, there are some perks too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67732384
Shiori is a talkative loon who doesn't shut up. Much like her streams she should be talking anywhere between the actual topic, a plot relevant tangent, and some random thing she's interested in.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67734119
I want to add that Shiori knows that shes a blabbermouth and that she will "behave" when there's more than one person present.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Lamy getting grumpy and pouty over you paying more attention to the rest of Nepolabo instead of her for exactly 12 minutes (You are the branch manager but she's a troublesome woman)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67735501
She may be troublesome, but god does it get my blood pumping.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67735501
>>67735897
playing with last thread's prompt
>Lamy yapping and being annoying because she already gave birth to 5 of your kids and you keep putting buns in that oven

[Anonymous No.]

>>67736954
>Argue back that maybe if she wasn't so damn irresistible and breedable that maybe we wouldn't have a sixth on the way
>You suddenly go back and forth on how your libidos just wont quit and it's all the other's fault.
>If she wasn't already pregnant, what ensues next would have definitely done it

[Anonymous No.]

>>67736954
>"Neee what's with you? Your first kid barely knows how to read and you are giving her another sister? think a little jeez"
>"Am i annoyed? Of course i am! You keep putting all these girls in Lamy without a single care! my people are talking about how im always pregnant"
>"Always the same with you, coming here, doing me like im a common whore and leaving me all fat and pregnant. All my dresses had to be retouched you know? just becau-..No! I know that look! i have important stuff to do! Put me down you oaf!"
>Three hours of rampant mating later
>"Jeez... five girls...if the one we just made is a girl too, im gonna start thinking you want to snuff the yukihana bloodline"
>"Guess its my job to get a boy in this family...but one that isnt an oaf like his father"

[Anonymous No.]

Rise

[Anonymous No.]

>>67732523
Same. Marin would be a senpai to me

[Anonymous No.]

>>67738818
>all girls
>looking for a boy

Sounds like my brother and his partner before the latest kid came in

[Anonymous No.]

>>67738818
All this breeding just makes me imagine how once anon dies His 40 children will plunge the world into the biggest war over whats essentially a family dispute.
But in happier/funnier thoughts
>Emperor anon had some attempts done against his life. They were all frustrated by the valkyries, his guard of honor.
>This guard was entirely made up by daughters he sired with several guards, princesses and other nobles.
>While highly lethal, they were also troublesome, as they were all reported to be "daddy's special princesses" and would often fight over their dads attention

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Wish Upon the Stars

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRkeIOFUmfSqmvxpYCa5LIk54tTnWPzJ4JMrZax20Riq46Pa6oa3J3hu-CeGigsJfMgXVT7ITMQrH0f/pub

Tags: SFW, Suisei, Miko, Angst, Fluff, Sickfic

[Anonymous No.]

Rise my marry men (and women)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67743177
I think the ending could have been expanded on a bit to make it hit harder, and you probably should have spent more time on what exactly “it” was since, as it stands, “it” feels kinda like a deus ex machina. Your dialogue was quite good, the back and forth between Suisei and Miko was cute and most of the conversations they had I could actually imagine in my head. I went into this with low expectations because I’m pretty jaded when it comes to micomet fans, but it was surprisingly decent. Your vocabulary needs some work, I recommend foregoing the use of “very” when you can, and try not to cop out of describing something (like when you wrote “cough-y”).

[Anonymous No.]

>>67734119
it's like listening to someone talk while drunk only they are completely sober. It's facinating.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67742206
>>67738818
This makes me want to write something like this with Miko but it is one girl then all boys

[Anonymous No.]

>>67747613
As in, Miko producing those?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67748396
Well yeah?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67749497
So she'd be like a heavily hyper pregnant broodmare birthing sons by the dozens. At least until she births a daughter in secret, destined to free her from this fate?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67749818
I-I dont know if I'd go that far. I just thought it would be funny if she had the one perfect princess daughter then nothing but rambunctious boys.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67743177
You didn't go far enough desu.
Dying to save her forever is too easy of a choice, it doesn't hit hard enough. I was hoping maybe the whole concert thing was leading up to Suisei having to give up her voice to let Miko live only a couple more years or something. It would have been way more dramatic if we got to see Suisei dealing with her sacrifice and Miko's reaction to it if she found out. Or if say Suisei isn't actually dead and just forgotten by Miko/her fans, which I suppose could be the case, the more interesting story is still how Suisei copes with that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67743177
I liked it, but honestly it does feel half baked.
I'm reasonably certain the ending is meant to be a Suisei sacrifices her fame/existence rather than life thing. Because if I'm right, you kind of picked the wrong ending scene. Instead of Miko wondering if she came alone it should have been something like Miko seeing a half blind homeless girl digging through the trash and wondering why she looks familiar, or trying to get help from A-chan because she feels like she's getting stalked by some blue haired homeless girl
It's an alright one-shot even if it felt a bit cliched. Other than my complaints with the ending, I did like your dialogue and narration.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67743177
Personally, I think it ended on a great line, and your prose flows very well and was a pleasure to read; however, the fic didn't do enough to pull on my heartstrings, unfortunately. What really damns this fic, though, is the lack of Fubuki - 0/10.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67747613
Miko is related to the Weasley's?

[Anonymous No.]

Not gonna tag the story anchor cause I don't feel like it's really finished but I feel stumped so I'd like some feedback on what's part one, or more accurately a pilot type thing, to a WIP I mentioned last thread.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRtzOMc3N-8uhGdLUSeVczDZk7yXygDaqNAMlAzxyo9ILYtyCZc-SQJ_IPDDS5mzSePIfESp40Tu3wq/pub

Tags: SFW, Fantasy, Shishio Chris, Nene, Botan, Polka

[Anonymous No.]

>>67743177
Echoing some of the complaints and praises before my comment.
But also addidng that this reminds me of "The nutcracker"… both are heartfelt fics with an interesting premise, that feel like they lack a chunk and an ending to really make them hit

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
A fic about (You) trying to win over Azki (she's married but she appreciates the attention anyway).

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Fucking Aki, but she's your mom. Not like step mom or aunt, but your actual biological mother

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Subaru!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67761877
Made for Cuckqueaaning

[Anonymous No.]

>>67756989
I can understand not wanting to anchor this since it's rather short, but I want you to know that this shit slaps. I'm liking the concept a lot and am especially excited to follow the two main storylines and seeing them eventually connect. That might be my favourite kind of story telling and Poru's story seems very interesting. Your prose and vocabulary is good too, although the style you use sometimes doesn't paint a clear enough picture. I see virtually no issues with this besides its length, although I can tell you plan to conitnue it. Hopefully. Please, I'd really like to see this continued. What kind of feedback were you after exactly? I recall seeing a post mention this concept but I'm not sure what it is you need help with.
Also I'm surprised to have found someone here that's willing to write about Chris. I'm glad I'm not the only one who follows the totally stable and not unhinged piss demon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67761921
That....
I can't disagree. Subaru just fits the childhood friend that loses to the first girl in a harem anime archetype to a tee.
Hell, she fits the prudish partner that gets cucked due to their slow progress in romance too.
Is there any (generic) scenario she's not screwed over?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762489
>Is there any (generic) scenario she's not screwed over?
I don't know, maybe if she wanted to have sex with Noel. Subaru just needs to say the word and a naked, stacked knight is at her command.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762489
Hmm, well there are those pure animes where the MC realises he was in love with his childhood friend all along.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67761921
Poor Subaru didn't deserve that fate in FoD.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762489
The very fitting ugly duckling scenario, of course. Assuming she becomes more beautiful than Ayame one day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67756989
Your prose is easily a good baseline for a fantasy story. I would echo what another anon said and let yourself try to expand on the picture you're trying to paint. I would also say this is rather short for a pilot. Polka's segment ends on enough of a note that you could piece together what she might be doing, but Anon's end not so much. Perhaps another scene of him possibly reflecting on the current job with the younger sellswords, and you can use that to kinda set the stage for his own reasoning for being out on the road. Or if the current scene with him isn't meant to go anywhere specific, you can cut to a completed job and him wondering what he should do next. If you need some more feedback or want to brainstorm ideas, feel free to ask! I'm looking forward to what you do with this, nice job!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762489
Being peer pressured into straight up seducing him, because uncertain doom in him not reciprocating is probably better than certain doom in him just losing interest
The one giving such advice might be someone old and "wise" like Marine, but the thing is, it is purely her angle and her preferred method to snatch up a man, not courting and blushing for years
Following this advice can go either way, tragic or romantic. Something-something "I have seen your intent but please just be who you really are and we'll figure things out from that"

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Compiled this Chloe greentext from last week
Hyper Leather Vector Chloe
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSItjs3mMHSL0ri83R0Ck6SlIwc4SCQbbvyTw4wDUBCyaYFPnDVWQtQqC1NNpe242Abd2w7p5gn8iY8/pub
Tags: Chloe, NSFW, Greentext comp

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Anon tearing through HoloX one by one after one of their "evil" plans got the love of his life dead/in a coma

[Anonymous No.]

>>67766536
So what would be the twist at the end of the story?
>Laplus is actually the consciousness of your wife piloting the body from her coma
>Koyori actually flash cloned your wife in order to hide that Iroha had become their muscle full time. With the body in the hospital actually being an empty shell
>You never had a wife, you were just hypnotized into becoming the newest weapon against holoX

[Anonymous No.]

>>67766904
can't really think of anything that won't immediately make it a library of ruina ripoff

[Anonymous No.]

>>67766536
Plot twist is that this Anon is the hero from the Laplus ntr greentext

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762489
There's a lot actually
>rekindled childhood friendship as you come back from the big city
>The last good person in your life after you fell in with bad crowds
>gym buddy that's a bit of a late bloomer
>getting some drinks with subaru and waking up next to her, an entire box of condoms used

[Anonymous No.]

>>67767959
1,3 & 4 could actually be together
2 can replace either 1 or 3

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Cowgirl Ame and Sheriff Mori settle their grievances in the traditional Wild West way: chugging mugs of Gator Milk until one of them admits defeat.

[Anonymous No.]

>page 9

[Anonymous No.]

>>67763867
Fox pussy is just too powerful, Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67771860
Normally I don't mind when the page count goes up, but in this case, sheeeeesh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67772503
And its spiking upward...again.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67770215
Have they figured out while only the male gators give milk yet?

[Anonymous No.]

what are some crossover fics you'd like to make someday?
I myself want to try my hand at a Black souls crossover/inspired fic where Suisei is Alice and a bunch of other chuubas take the spot of the rest of the cast.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67778016
chuubas at a card or toy shop and have them play the games i loved as a kid (yugioh, beyblade)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67778016
Chuubas playing DnD, and there's frequent breaks of immersion when one of them asks something like "Wait, how do I calculate damage again?"

[Anonymous No.]

Mr. AA, the script archive hasn't been updated for a whole month! And the rentry archive for over a week.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67762281
Thanks for compliments! I wasn't looking for anything in particular, as it seems I was just mainly second guessing myself beyond the 'looks good, could use some more' I initially felt.

I've been wanting to use some of the Sugar Lyric girls for a while now, and she seemed like a great fit for the idea I had. Rene would have been an uphill battle because I don't know how long I could write about her without it leading to sex

>>67764830
Thank you! I think you're right in that a scene to better explain what's going on with Anon's current mission would do some good. I might add an actual scene with Polka as well, and leave the Botan and Nene one for the end.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67781094
Wonder if he's homeless now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67783933
Maybe he can live with his aunt

[Anonymous No.]

A really beaten question:
How do you get to know a chuuba before writing? I could ask around Sara thread, but that will only get me so far.
The stuff that gets translated are mostly short clips or compilations, not full streams, which is not nearly enough if I want to portray as anything other than a caricature
What do you do in this case?
> what have you written?
> how often and in what capacity do you watch chuubas you write about?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784715
Try casually dating her for awhile to see how she acts in daily life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67778016
Fate Holo/Live

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784768
> a very handsome young man joins %agency name% as a manager
> girls swoon, management swoons
> it is all actually part of his master plan to write better fanfic

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784715
>How do you get to know a chuuba before writing?
Clips, reading about them (go to the archive, get a general feel. EX: Kiara is pretty blunt and a bit crass, as every fic depicts her), ask in the splits and most importantly: watch collabs.
Collabs tell you a lot,they come with dedicated translator if its JP X EN or something and most importantly allow you to see how they act.

But in general, unless its someone with a really brilliant personality with good clippers (Like Mio), then you are better doing some independant research

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784715
>>67785115
By "independent research" he means watch streams.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67782148
Do it big bro. Looking forward to seeing more from you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784715
As in Hoshikawa Sara?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784964
This is a fucking hilarious concept, holy shit.
>Join Hololive
>Win Miko's heart little by little to the point she refuses to admit she fell in love with you
>With the help of everyone else in the office, she confesses to you
>Say yes, Miko is ecstastic
>Next day, you turn in your two weeks' notice
>wtf.png
>Miko asks what's wrong
>Says "Oh, I got everything I need for my fanfic. By the way, I'm breaking up with you. I've got a novel to write."

[Anonymous No.]

>>67785760
Ye

[Anonymous No.]

>>67786024
Thought so but I wanted to be sure.
Anyways, You should ask the split. You might not get totally genuine answers but use a decerning eye.
Check things like the vtuber wiki or tvtropes. Otherwise, you're stuck with clips. >>67785115
has a great suggestion about collabs. I would bet that there are translated clips of Hoshikawa collaborating with Holomems like Haachama.

Someone here recommended this site for more research about hololive but they do have a Nijisanji equivalent. https://wikiwiki.jp/nijisanji/ Use Google Translate to translate the pages. Although I should warn you that sometimes it won't let you translate the page for some reason. You can install DeepL app to get around it but you'll be limited to translating a bit at a time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784715
If you watch enough clips, you'll get a reasonably accurate interpretation. There's enough translated content of her on YT and with Sara, what you see is really what you get. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. Alternatively if you want to be absolutely, 100% sure that you're going into writing her with the most accurate knowledgebase you can get, then learn Japanese and watch at least 500 hours of her streams, ideally more

[Anonymous No.]

>>67765526
Still absolutely love this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67781094
>>67783933
Evelyn took the kids, the car, the house, AND the google account

[Anonymous No.]

>>67747613
>>67750223
>Your feet carry you up the temple's stairs. A part of you hates this, but another part understands that rent isnt free. Also good cardio
>By the time you get to the top, your face is hit with a football at match 5
>You roll down the stairs, yelping and oofing as you hear a distant "SORRY!"
>Finally you land at the base of the mountain. You dust off and sigh as you start climbing again
>Why couldnt they like checkers?
>Fifteen minutes later you arrive. Your two eldest sons at least have the gall to look sorry
>the Gigantic bumps in their heads also help
>And there is Miko. Heavily pregnant under her apron and with your third son strapped to her back
>she shoves both of them in your direction
>"Sorry for hitting you with a football and sending you down the mountain dad" they speak in stereo, almost like its rehearsed
>"Ill believe it when this stops happening kids"
>you pat their shoulders and send them off. Kiss your beatiful wife miko
>Your boy burps and you sigh, taking him off Miko's hands and patting his back
>Five minutes later you are in your boxes, scrapping puke off your pants as Miko still chuckles in the back
>Sigh.
>Why did miko had to be so so fertile? why did you have to be so fertile? why couldnt you two just stop?!
>anyway tonight you were getting frisky.
>Someone pats your back. Its your perfect beatiful little girl
>She hugs you and gives you a drawing
>"Its okay dada! When i grow up ill help mama with the house and you wont look sad washing your pants!"
>Your heart melts...your perfect little princess
>
>
>You climb the last steps and groan. fucking hell you are old
>Your eyes glaze over the temple and you sigh
>Three of your sons are kneeling, they look like someone beat the shit out of them
>your other kid is tied to a tree with a ceremonial rope, squirming to get out
>and in front of them, there's a Miko with a wooden sword
>"Listen here you pieces of shit! OUR dad is coming home and you havent finished the chores!"
>She smacks the wooden sword agains the floor and they all flinch
>"He had a long day and mom is sick! So you maggots are gonna wash the clothes, hang them and are absolutely forbidden from going into the kitchen!"
>The oldest raises his hand
>"I already told your girlfriend that if she shows up here ill beat her black and blue"
>He lowers his hand
>You simply look in to the distance.
>Well....at least she does love her dad....

[Anonymous No.]

Assuming a few things:
>Roboco's robogina is normally hidden from view and she can, on command, move some parts around to reveal it
>It's designed to feel as close to a human's as possible while still being visually appealing/consistent with her body
What's your idea of what Roboco's robogina looks like?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67784962
>Saber: Iroha
>Archer: Kronii
>Lancer: Fubuki
>Caster: Shion
>Assassin: Zeta
>Rider: Marine
>Berserker: Ollie

[Anonymous No.]

>>67783933
qrd?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67789768
I imagine it tries to mirror a human vagina as much as possible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67790644
Really? Even in color? Because the idea of having her jet-black pelvis with a pair of peachy pink labia in the middle seems off-putting to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67790840
Ahhhhh, you bring up a good point. I mean, color, maybe texture? I actually agree with you, now that I think about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67780797
Now THIS is how you write a character's voice, absolutely brilliant.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67788861
Cute! Aww man, now I really want to write something like that. Need big family with Migo. Gonna put this in the back pocket for now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67790840
It seems fanart just gives her a normal looking vagina, but, I don't like that. Maybe it is jet black.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791662
Right now, my current ideas are:
>jet black
>grey/silver
>slight red glow, like the lines on her thighs

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791993
Love the glow idea.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67790311
Solid list but why Kronii as an Archer?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791605
glad you liked it. I like to imagine life with miko just carries looney tunes energy just because its her, so anon falling down the mountain and being okay or comically large mallets are a common ocurrence

[Anonymous No.]

>>67792272
I can't remember the stream, but there's a stream where she mentions she prefers ranged combat over hand to hand. That and the "I'm perfect" persona she gives her character is reminiscent to Gilgamesh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791662
>>67791993
It should definitely be optimized, not just a replica of whatever state evolution has reached currently. It should feel like it's massaging your cock for optimal pleasure, and how about some RBG lighting so the different parts can be color-coded and to indicate arousal?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67792640
The color-coding seems a bit too goofy to me, I'll probably stick with consistent red LED lighting. I'll probably say it has adjustable tightness and sensors to determine how best to massage the penis, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67792616
>Kronii throwing her clock hand swords like Gil
Clever, I like it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67793005
harder question who would be the masters?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67792888
>>67792640
Colouring parts differently with too much contrast would look like a joke, as much as the clit flashing like the top of a police car right before orgasm.
But something more subtle, in tune with the movements and her state, could work well. Maybe to emulate the movements that you'd see on a 100% flesh fuckee's skin, or a slight red tinge of the lips to indicate their arousal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791993
But what if
transparent

[Anonymous No.]

>>67793693
If it was depicted in a visual medium, I'd agree, but in writing it seems like it'd be a difficult thing to get across well without getting highly detailed, and I think I'd end up spending too much time on it and grinding the pacing to a halt.
>>67794063
I'll pass.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67794115
Shame
It would be fun to see your dick thrust and shoot inside her

[Anonymous No.]

>>67793335
Honestly, I don't know. Part of the reason that crossover fic has been a pipe dream for so long is that I don't have a good answer. I remember last time this conversation came around there was this idea of having chuubas who have reincarnated as Masters, eg. Kson as a Master. Which I kinda like because you could have someone like Coco be a Servant who thus comes into conflict with Kson and her Servant.
Otherwise, you'd have to do Chuuba/Chuuba pairings which is fine but does strike me as a bit of wasted potential/a conundrum but it would be easier to have your Rin analog that way.

I guess it boils down to how closely you want to follow Fate Say/Night or even Fate/Extra. Like is the battle royal a virtual idol tournament or a urban fantasy thing? What are they fighting for? And so on. I think figuring that out first would give you the answer to "Who are the Masters"

Obviously, it'd be a lot of work lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>67794301
could also make the girls from smaller companies the masters. Although the easiest answer would be You're the one and only master traveling space and time to deal with anomalies like in Fate grand order.

every once in a while you get to draw from the grail and summon Caster:Shiori who joins the party on your current quest.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67792640
>Try and go down on Roboco in a dimly lit room.
>her RGB pussy keeps flashbanging you with every color of the rainbow.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67794768
That sounds wonderful. Only downside to going down is that it gets visually boring after a bit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67794301
I remember reading a couple similar fics on both ff and ao3
it was all chuubas but the ones that were masters were regular magi by comparison to servants, which the latter leaned more into their holo lore
that reincarnation idea does sound interesting through, would a master kson be able to beat a fully realized servant coco? probably comes down to the plot

[Anonymous No.]

>>67796314
i have no horse in this race but goddamn what a terrible idea is to have the masters actually go toe to toe with servants. Saber getting her ass beat by a math teacher is hilarious and all but damn its such a retarded moment that just annihilates tension.
That's all im adding because my hate for fate is eternal

[Anonymous No.]

>>67794721
I thought that too, have other chuubas from other companies like Nijisanji be Masters. Mito as the Rin analog fits more and more when I think of it. The problem is worldbuilding logistics. Say you go with the Kson option, whats the lore behind her being both a Servant and a Master? Why are chuubas Servants to begin with? In Fate they're historical figures but in this Chuubaverse they are..?
Its kind of why I like the Fate/Extra idea of being summoned to a specific arena. It can solve a lot of those issues if you can get the lore working. I prefer the darker punch Fate Stay/Night has, but you'd have to figure out who is your Kirei, your Avenger, your Sakura, and so on.

A FGO style does sound fun though.
>Singularty where Suisei never got into hololive
Gentlemen, we are coming full circle

>>67796314
All chuubas is probably where I would go with it, makes it a lot less work. My idea with the Coco/Kson thing is that they kind of hate each other's guts. Coco views Kson as a traitor of sorts and Kson views Coco as naive. A kind of Archer/Shirou thing. Make Kanata Kson's Servant who is caught in the middle and you got yourself a plot beat. Maybe the reason Kson was picked as a Master was that deep down she regrets her decision or mourns what could have been despite it all and wishes otherwise.

>>67796600
Secondary spotted.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67797185
I dont care enough about Fate to play or read any of the other 204 spinoffs.
I played the original novel. UBW was fine but the rest was actual garbage

[Anonymous No.]

>>67796600
>>67797378
it is what it is, i disagree but im not /here/ to argue anything Fate

[Anonymous No.]

>>67796600
>I dont have any horse in this race, I just wanted to say I don't like what you guys are talking about
Cool man, thanks for contributing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67796600
*deep inhale*
the math teacher and caster sort of were foils to shiro and saber since both were both masters who had feelings for their servants. The teacher was meant to show how strong a magus can become despite having low mana--something shiro picks up on later on.

to further avoid it becoming a massive Fate/debate I'll leave it with that but everything in the original Fate/staynight happened for a good reason.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67797378
Sounds like you've got shit taste if you think the original VN was mostly garbage.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67797185
Could always go the route of that the girls in hololive are Historical figures in the chuubaverse. Where as the other characters from, small corpros are aware of their mark on history with the exception of K-san who can be a reincarnation/descendant of Coco

[Anonymous No.]

>>67797658
>everything in the original Fate/staynight happened for a good reason
NTA but that's a bit of a reach. Everything in a decently put story happens for a good reason, as in, to further the plot.
The execution is where it sticks or not, and where you can argue if it lands or not.

Its why DBZ works because despite being "goku screams louder after training and hits the other guy harder" its well worked into, and other stuff like "rubber nen" gets such a groan from the audience

[Anonymous No.]

>>67798054
Can't resist not weighing in with my DB autism. You get to see Goku work for every little bit he has, which enforces what you're saying. Goku also uses a fair amount of martial finesse and observation to beat his opponents, which is why he sometimes just decides to leave them in a puddle of embarrassment, and piss, because he sees that they literally can't outmatch him, and he won't grow from the fight.
"Rubber nen" I'm still not sure how I feel about it as a story element and how it's presented. On the one side, the theme of freedom is ever present in the story, even from the early stages. On the other, I'm not sure how much I buy into the writer planning that shit from day 1. The fruit itself was meant to just be silly and used by a silly guy to just force his way through opponents, but the surrounding lore he gave it over a decade later is kinda suspect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67797843
I was kind of thinking along those likes, that the Servants are famous idols from different worlds or something along those lines. Or that hololive is a thing but the girls summoned are extremely in line with their lore/kayfabe. Like Kronii can actually control time.
Except that for some reason, (You) don't know any of them and your Servent is also unknown to the rest.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67798564
I think when that anon said "Rubber nen" he meant Hisoka (one of the murder hobo characters from hunterxhunter) who had the ability to make his energy sticky and rubbery to say, stick one side to your face, and the other to his fist to make you into a human paddle ball.
Problem with hunterxhunter is that it's whole power system gets introduced in the middle of the series, and the man doesn't do anything in whick Rubber nen would have been useful.

on the topic of one piece though, I felt haki was the same way, A power system that shows up crazy late in the series, and despite being told it's hard to acquire, there's mother fuckers who were just born with it and weak characters that just have it from time to time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67799247
figures lost in history aren't too uncommon. so things like that can be handwaved depending how you want to handle it in universe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67799284
Oh kek HxH, I completely forgot. Yeah it feel like the way Nen was introduced was a little hamfisted. Like it was obvious some kinda of method would need to exist for cool powers, but there should have been more hints to it earlier. Similar to haki. It feels totally tacked on for part 2 and made the one strength of the dark fruit invalidated since when it was presented, its biggest eye opener was "i can null your cheating fruit powers you bitch". Now everyone can do it. I don't mind that haki exists, but the fact that it wasn't brought up sooner since it would have invalidated earlier conflicts and problems was kinda butt.
On the inverse, Ki was appropriately presented in early DB and it made sense how people progressed with it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67799541
I would probably make it a timeline shinanigan since that's generally important in Fate lore. Like the reason nobody knows who your Servent is (and the reason why you two have a connection) is that she doesn't exist yet, but will

[Anonymous No.]

Up

[Anonymous No.]

>>67799797
then ki more or less became a numbers game asto who can shoot out the biggest dick energy beam or used it to transform so you can pump out bigger numbers of ki

[Anonymous No.]

>>67802768
Down

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Nerissa prematurely ejaculating and you having to sit there and comfort her

[Anonymous No.]

>>67802992
...is a woman Cummings fast really that emberassing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67803529
Nerissa with a cute pp?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67803529
anyone cumming really fast is embarassing anon.
BEsides you can think its hot, but for her? oh boy that's some tears

[Anonymous No.]

>>67782148
>Spoiler
I feel you man. I really do.

[Anonymous No.]

Throwing my two cents in for the coco/kson in a pseudo fate holy grail war.
If I remember right the original proposal/prompt for this was to basically have her as a Gilgamesh type incarnated servant who summons Kanata as her servant. Though I do like this spin on it of having both Coco as servant and Kson as master >>67797185 especially since it could absolutely be a great twist to pull if Kson isn't a main character since "Master K" could be used as either a way to hide that Coco will be one of the other servants or be revealed as Kanata's master.
For servant identities, whoever writes this has the opportunity to actually make it a "fair mystery" about guessing who's who since the reference pool of "viable guess" isn't everyone in the public domain but effectively just restricted to holomems. So you can actually guess who's being foreshadowed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67803697
but girls don't usually get soft when they cum so it's not like it ends the sex shortly after... forgive me for sounding like a dumbass here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67804737
From what I’ve heard, orgasms are very tiring for women, which could leave them too tired to want to continue
>t. Only had sex once but did manage to make her cum

[Anonymous No.]

>>67804737
Its not about cumming and the sex ending anon. Most guys can cum and say, edge their girl for 10 minutes if they are horny enough, but it is shameful to nut and lose control, also some people do get annoyed that only YOU reached orgasm.

Girls go through the same song and dance, and some might argue its worse for them because there's that whole myth of "girls dont prematurely ejaculate" so in this case, the entire issue is "I lost control and that leaves me vulnerable"

TLDR: the prompt is not about sex, but rather the shame and vulnerability of losing control and leaving the other person hanging

[Anonymous No.]

>>67790644
Pretty rubbery daresay, like those fleshlights. Unlike fleshlights tho, Roboco can feel your thrusts and your cum. And can synthesize it

[Anonymous No.]

>>67806893
Roboco's too high-spec to feel like an ordinary fleshlight!

[Anonymous No.]

https://youtu.be/TmRVSsLJxeE?si=Q8HrjmhGmMOU-jxx

/wg/'s favourite website.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67806987
True, that's why she can feel the thrusts and the coom, unlike fleshlights. And even has a synthetic egg to make a baby with, effectively carrying a cloning chamber with her.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67791007
So when writing hajime you either write it as an exaggerated Miko (use homophones and misspellings whenever possible) or just write every word as if slurred if she's not a main character.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67770215
>Ame and Mori scratched up and bandaged after trying (and failing) to get an alligator to stick to a milking machine.
>"Were we taking this too literally?"
>"No! Tradition says gator milk where else would we get it?

[Anonymous No.]

Anyone cooking towa-related stuff? its one of those days where i need her...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Almost two weeks after I actually wrote it, and here it is:
The Cell
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRoOnVjGWMH328sn7rXKih4rbhxN48VHYzUWUFy39-3I4Ahl7TNlT1PjXXQeA7Cm-89yxjxNx7WjZ_p/pub
Alternative setting, SFW, Mel

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67813851
I don't think alligators have penises.

[Anonymous No.]

> Miko burns her tongue on some hot tea and speaks normally for a week

[Anonymous No.]

>>67810657
That could be a funny gimmick in a fic. Whenever Hajime speaks to you, its in perfect English but when shes talks to other people its all gibberish

[Anonymous No.]

>>67825202
>only after becoming Hajime's kyodai do you understand the shit she says

[Anonymous No.]

>>67824085
I was the warden

[Anonymous No.]

>>67825308
> The punk falls to his ass, the rest of his gang scattered like ashes around the hideout
>All done in single-handedly by this 155cm girl approaching him slowly
>And he's next
>She reaches into her jacket, Oh god, shes gonna pull a knife on you!
>"Oi baesard, Ees deus yeu whalleet oer naht?"
>What?"
>"What?" you ask,
>Silently a tall figure slinks out from the girl's shadow, a 180cm man with a mean look on his face
>You gasp, recognizing him right away. It's the shadow boss of Hololive High. THE MAN WITH NO NAME.
>If he's fallen under her control, what hope do you have?
>"She said-"
>"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" as you scramble and sprint away as fast as possible, swearing to your mom you will turn over a new leaf if you just get out of here alive.
>...
>"I guess it's not his," Hajime says sullenly.
>You pat her on the shoulder, "Well it was an honorable attempt Banchou. Lets just turn it into a police box like I've been saying."
>Hajime nods, "Yeah that sounds good. Can we get ramen after?"
>You smile, "Sure my treat."
>Hajime cheers at being rewarded for her good deed and the two of you walk out of the busted-up hideout.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67827313
"Like what you see? Its yours...if you dare."

[Anonymous No.]

>>67827573
I don't think the sentence would end there

[Anonymous No.]

>>67827573
>Do you like what you see? It's all yours if you want. I mean it's mine since its still connecting it to me, but I'll let you borrow it for a while. Not, like, for you to dethatch it or anything, no sorry you have to take the whole package. I wonder why they say whole package, you know, like in this context its not like I'm in a box with my butt sticking out, though that'd be kinda hot wouldn't it. Just get an amazon box with my ass and pussy sticking out from the side, oh gosh I'm getting a little wet just thinking about it, But wouldn't you get worried if my butt package would get used on the way there? i mean if i were a guy i wouldn't be able to resist an ass this juicy. do you like what you see by the way? it's all yours if you like. I mean it's mine since its still connecting it to me, but-

[Anonymous No.]

>>67828041
I cannot express how I want to kiss her to shut her the fuck up
that way only tongue gets bitten, not my other body part

[Anonymous No.]

>>67828932
>but I'll let you borrow it for a while. not like, for you to-mmmhmmmhmmmmhmmhmmmmhmmhmmmhmmmhmmhmmmmhmmmhmmmhmmhmmmhmmmhmmmhmmmhmmmhmmm- PUWAH! Wow~ that was incredible. It's how I always imagined my first kiss. Not that it was my first kiss, sorry, but my first kiss was to my Dimitri body pillow. I kissed it a little too much though, and now the dye in the fabric is all faded and stained from my drool, and no amount of wash cycles get it out, let me tell you. Every time i think i got it out once the water dries the stain fades right back in. It's my own fault for kissing it so much, but Dimitri is such a good kisser. Oh! sorry! you're a good kisser too anon. It was totally different. i guess flesh really is better than cotton, you know?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67829265
>Blue Lion fan
Based archiver

[Anonymous No.]

>Aggressive Housemaid
https://rentry.org/suisei54

Tags:Suisei, NSFW, fluff

Hope you guys can enjoy, the story can not be smooth.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67831795
I like your style, Koreanbro. Should I anchor it for you so it gets archived?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67832797
thanks m8

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874

Anchoring >>67831795

[Anonymous No.]

>>67814839
You might have to live off There Are Days That Last Forever (I think that was the name, it's not exactly a catchy one) for a while. I have Towa in the works but it's a long while away.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67817979
I recommend using paragraphs and line breaks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67814839
>>67731933
>You came back home with no sign and find Towa crying
>There was a metro issue and some died, Towa saw the news and she was worried about if you died or something
>You say to towa that you are fine, patting towa
>Towa wants to check that you are healthy, having hot on the bed for hours
>There is a new living between you and Towa, and you come back to home safe.
>happy forever

[Anonymous No.]

>>67835113
soldier on o7

[Anonymous No.]

>>67835670
Bro is cooking today

[Anonymous No.]

>>67817979
It's okay. Unfortunately I haven't read anything in whatever alt setting you're working on so this feels like an epilogue for a book I've never read.
I have to ask, the extra note at the end of this implies you've written other fics int his setting, so what else have you written with this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67831795
I really liked the story you put together. The grammar is a little rough at times, but that can be expected from a direct translation. The sex was a little awkward to follow though, mostly in that Suisei was at first demanding and clearly ovulating so she is ready to go, and the next she claims she's not ready to take all of Anon in. It also plays out like normal sex instead of anon giving the mouthy maid her "punishment". All in all, I really enjoyed the interactions and the fluff of a Suisei housewife who gets what she wants from her man. Thanks for the read bro.

>>67817979
This could use some formatting touch-ups. Spacing and proper paragraphs will go a long way. The content itself has the meat to lead to something more interesting, but it just leaves me wanting more context. Something like a prior scene where Mel had just realized what she done, or when she was in her blood haze in the act. There's a lot more this story wants to tell me, but just hasn't yet. I hope you expand on the concept, it's pretty neat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67835113
Goodspeed towabro
>>67835670
Thanks koreabro. Hope you have a nice week

[Anonymous No.]

/wg/ I have a question. Specifically, an ESL specific question so I hope there are others that can help me here.
How do you deal with grammar and improve? Like actually improving grammar without making silly mistakes, is there a good drill, software, training I can do? I can construct sentences like an average SEA and my vocabulary is "ok" enough to write up interesting short stories. But sometimes when I went too deep into the plot, I am simply unconscious about grammar and all the tenses, adjectives go out the window.
The only story I ever wrote was Mumei's Wheelchair Audition Greentext that most people recognized, but I cringed on how many mistakes I made on that piece whenever people repost it. I mostly write research papers, but I have grammarly subscription for those. Should I just let AI take over and correct my mistakes?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67839915
Hear people speak English as she is spoke by watching streams. Read good literature. Then practice by actually talking or writing.
Much like getting better at writing you can break through to basic competence by study, but you're only going to get good at English by actually using it.
Also... I fucking love that greentext. Wheelchair Mumei was the best post debut rrat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67839915
Watch people speak that try to talk clearly and correctly. And install the Grammarly browser extension to let it check your text. It's not always correct but it will point out most mistakes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67839915
Aside from what the other anon's said
Get LanguageTool or grammar.ly
LT is better IMO, but grammar.ly is free at the cost of having janky suggestions at times.

[Anonymous No.]

Uppy!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67831795
Calling your dick "my buddy" is pretty cute.

[Anonymous No.]

Stupid sultry sexy hags...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848405
Hey, that's my wife

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848957
This post is mine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848405
I prefer her white-haired senpai

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848405
>Come home after a long day at work.
>There's a lab coat in the chair, the bedroom light is on
>go there. Koyori is sitting with Ollie in the bed
>"assistant-kun...lets play doctor"
>2 hours later
>"KOYORI, STAPLER"
>"HERE! BLOOD PRESSURE RISING!"
>"DAMMIT! HER COLON IS ABOUT TO-"
>riiiiiiiiiiiing
>Ollie, who is sliced open with her tongue sticking out perks up
>"sorry that's my phone"
>"No big. hey can you google apendicitis while you are at it?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848957
>>67849834
Hey dude, love the content you make. That video you made blowing her back out on a public bathroom was fucking amazing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67850358
Always a pleasure to meet a fan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67850358
I was the guy in the video.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67850031
>one of her severed hands dances on a keyboard while the other looks at rhe screen

[Anonymous No.]

>>67835279
>>67839763
That's my bad, the original story had proper formatting, but google ate them when I copy-pasted it into the document, and I hadn't noticed due to the late hours. the formatting has since been restored.

>>67838083
the only other one published to /wg/ at the moment is Wellness Check, which is a bit clumsily converted from a different format, but that one also takes place there.

there are two other stories I have on the backburner, but college demands are giving them an ETC of "when they get done" so I can't tell anyone when those will show up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67839915
Among echoing what the other Anons have said, I could also recommend getting a beta reader. Editing helps a lot too, and you could try saying your sentences out loud to see if they sound ok.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
gyaru/bimbofication with any girl, please. Anyone butpleasemoriorchammers

[Anonymous No.]

>>67854518
Corruption where Haachama goes to the states and becomes a trashy bimbo who sucks dick for weed?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67856624
Imagine an ASMR roleplay like that. Haachama's sultry voice softly whispering in your ear, asking if she can pay for "the stuff" in "other ways", followed by aggressively slurping on a cucumber.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67856624
Thats completely out of character and disrespectfull of Hachaama.

She would jump straight to crack

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67854518
You replied to the story anchor instead of the prompt anchor

[Anonymous No.]

>>67854518
seconded, even better if its mori, like what people said before about the Idol Dress causing her to turn into a bubbly dumbass

[Anonymous No.]

>>67831795
I would spend more time on the beginning of the sex scene, to communicate why Suisei goes from wanting sex to being hesitant even though she would know how big her husband's cock is. With how horny she behaved, I would have expected the punishment to be orgasm denial or another BDSM technique in the current version.
There is also a bit of a disconnect in style: There's the very realistic (at least in East Asia) and serious part about coming home late and arguing with your wife on one hand, and on the other hand there's the sex which features unrealistic things like shooting her so full of cum that she has a bulge in her stomach. That sounds like it would fit better in a fanfic or doujin that is just about over-the-top sex and fetish stuff.

[Anonymous No.]

Present Day, Present Time continuation when...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67863472
That's WAv2's series. He has stepped away from writing. Unfortunately it may not be finished.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67781094
Sorry, doing some career searching. I'll handle it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67863472
Me on the left

[Anonymous No.]

Rise

[Anonymous No.]

>>67866301
best of luck, and as always, thank you for your service

[Anonymous No.]

>>67866301
Have you considered haberdashery as an option?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67848405
Great hagger saggers!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67863472
At this point the closest thing we're getting will be a "spiritual successor" by way of someone picking up the flame and writing their horny impregnation/pregnant fantasies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67870498

[Anonymous No.]

>>67870498
I'm on it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67835113
>I think that was the name, it's not exactly a catchy one
It is and personally, I think it is a great title.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67870498
From the sound of it we'll get a lot of that in HoloJourneys... around 2026 or so

[Anonymous No.]

I wonder if that anon that was looking for happy /ss/ liked my stories

[Anonymous No.]

>>67871608
Which stories?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67873392
please mrs usada and little red riding nene

[Anonymous No.]

>>67870925
I dunno man, it’s just hard to remember and not quite snappy enough. I know I for one have avoided mentioning it in the thread once just because I couldn’t remember the title.
Still a great story though, don’t get me wrong.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67873580
not that anon but i liked please mrs usada, thank you for your contribution to the /ss/ initiative

[Anonymous No.]

>>67873580
not the anon you're looking for
i haven't read please mrs usada but will later now that i know you wrote it
little red riding nene was fucking incredible

[Anonymous No.]

>>67870498
Kinda funny considering that PD, PT was the spiritual successor of that fic where Korone groomed you to be the perfect hag husband and invited some hags to your bedroom

[Anonymous No.]

>>67879067
Think that was called Harvest Season for reference

[Anonymous No.]

I want to fuck Fubuki in her anoos.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67883769
Tell her then

[Anonymous No.]

I'm getting a mighty urge to write Fujo-cast

[Anonymous No.]

>>67884441
I am! That's why I posted it here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67887420
Kek
Get on to it then
Also, does she do 5ch?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67890267
There isn't a single JP that doesn't post there.

[Anonymous No.]

you still need to write!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67892591
I know okay???

[Anonymous No.]

>>67892591
I know, but im feeling that self doubt creep in which is making it hard to keep pushing all the while im getting more depressed for not putting something out

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67896796
Mori phone (cuz skulls)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67896954
Nah it's my phone (I'm a deabeat and Shiori is trying to seduce me away)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67895156
A lot of it is just getting over that hurdle of inadequecy, but it's there for a reason: you want your work to be good and that's normal

But i know it's hard and you feel like you're not making any progress at all or if it's even worth doing. Even trying to relax makes you stress out since you think you're trying to run from your work and you don't enjoy it at all
It's ok, i know i feel that way sometimes too
I've been trying lots of things to overcome this mental hurdle, like for instance, I've started a habit of wandering around stores just to brainstorm. A change of scenery often helps you out more than not
And remember all progress is good progress, even if it's a failure. There will always be a few rounds of polish before you land where you want to
Dont forget writing is physically taxing as well as mentally; be sure to rest and replenish yourself. I always joke that I'm writing a marathon instead of running it
Best of luck

[Anonymous No.]

>>67897070
>you know what confuses me?
>why does she call you guys dead beats?
>you're not a dad (I hope)
>and you dont seem like the kinda guy to leave his kid
>nah the name doesn't suit you at all I don't think
>you look more like a...idk
>Novelite?
>yeah! maybe someone who likes books and stuff!
>maybe novel knight! that sounds flashy ^_^
>and maybe I can be your queen
>ROFL XD
>jkjkjk
>unless...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67897331
Thank you rose Bro...

[Anonymous No.]

Is there a hotter scenario than a girl resting a hand against her womb post-creampie and saying "My tummy feels so full..."?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67884984
School girl IRyS fits way too well with the fujocast concept, especially the nerd glasses to beautiful glasses. Either that or moral degeneration... Hopefully IRyS pointing out the similarities has the meme burn out in a few days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Okay, took the feedback into account, added some more, definitely happier with this now! Relinking it cause the tags are different. Thanks to the two absolute kings for the input

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRtzOMc3N-8uhGdLUSeVczDZk7yXygDaqNAMlAzxyo9ILYtyCZc-SQJ_IPDDS5mzSePIfESp40Tu3wq/pub

Tags: SFW, Fantasy, Shishio Chris, Polka, Ollie, OC Daughter

[Anonymous No.]

>>67897362
Fanbasewrecker Shiori...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67898045
Yeah. Just replace the girl with Fuwamoco

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899581
No, I think I got the girl right the first time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899851
Why not all three?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899880
Yup, that works for me too!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899958
The question is, at which number of girls does the hotness peak?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899997
You know what? Hot take here - hotness peaks with just one girl and only goes down from there.

Emotional connection is a helluva drug.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67839763
>>67862037
Thanks for telling me about the fic! I hope my next one could get better than this one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67862307
Thanks about your feedback! Hope I could write better next time.
Have a nice week o7

[Anonymous No.]

>>67900147
Same to you! And to be clear, I'm awfully glad that you share your work here. The issues I had with it while reading might stem from differences in culture and what we're used to, too.

[Anonymous No.]

Up you go

[Anonymous No.]

>>67902309
No, down you go. Down goes your head... no no, shh-shh-shh. No words now. Keep sucking.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67902438
Me to who

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731996
Fucking Laplus to submission in front of her boyfriend

[Anonymous No.]

>>67902866
You replied to the story recap instead of the prompt anchor

[Anonymous No.]

>>67902952
my bad

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Fucking Laplus to submission in front of her boyfriend

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899003
I can see you're cooking something here anon, colour me interested.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Here I go:
Title: LapZuri Story Uncut
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSa5FSP1zU9jJEKeEY_IgoAsvZN1InXLubyed1tKpnrTNtcOrHto-GSlSKnQm5ehYOL7xlh7UAi978o/pub
Tags: Laplus Darknesss, Oppai Loli, Breast Play, Paizuri, Fluff, Vanilla, NSFW

thank you to pailoli anon for giving me a push a couple threads ago, was a fun ride
I think I could have went a little harder on the oppai loli aspect, but I'm satisfied with the current fic so do tell me what you (and anybody else interested) think if you read it

[Anonymous No.]

>5 stories in one thread
/wg/ is healing!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67905764
Healing from... what, exactly?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67905049
I enjoyed this quite a lot, but the story beginning with milk only to not feature Lapu milk later on is almost criminal...maybe have it shoot out of her milkers when she cums, if there's not going to be a milking scene.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67892591
Vidya takes priority at the moment, sorry.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899003
Well hot damn, you're right to be much happier with this now. It flows better, entices me more, and has the makings of a hooking intro to boot. I like the clear thought you put into the world setting and how just hearing of some of the places that exist make me interested to see just how much of them I'll see or hear about. Keep it up, I can't wait to read more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67907674
haha, yeah my gut felt the same but i ended up suppressing it
that anon had an aversion to lactation, so I opted not to include it (in this one at least)
glad you still liked it, makes me happy

[Anonymous No.]

>>67908308
Would you give everyone else a version more rich in demon milk? Just one scene and a few details elsewhere, maybe

[Anonymous No.]

>>67899003
Hrm. For starters I think you should have kept that scene with Botan and Nene from the original in, maybe placing it right before it cuts to Polka's perspective. That would tell the readers (in more depth) that Polka was previously with her friends and had left recently. Secondly I would really recommend not referring to Anon as "You" when speaking from a third person perspective. When Polka says stuff like "You are the strongest person she knows" or "It sounded like you" it sounds like she could be thinking that at Ollie, or herself since other parts of the story are still in second person. When you're following Polka's story and writing in third person, try to stick to "Anon" and "him/he/his" when referring to the main character (You).
Also I thought the original prompt was to resurrect their daughter? From that last scene it seems like she's alive and well, so I'm now wondering what's important about the item Polka is looking for. But hey, you might have some surprises in store for me.
All things considered though it's a good opening for a story and I'm absolutely looking forward to more. Here's hoping you can continue it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67908308
I second >>67908431 but moreso because there was no proper conclusion to
>“Do you know… how to fix this?” Laplus asked breathlessly while laying her hand on her chest, it billowing back and forth with each breath.

You having to milk her down to a less noticeable size while she is both uncomfortable and extremely aroused would save coherence and destroy dicks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67905049
Pailoli requester here, this is the absolute goodness
I thank you for keeping the milk out of it, even when you had an urge to include it; personally, I would’ve enjoyed it less had it been included
Definitely gonna take some time to get a good fap session in for this one
Have this pic I got from drawthread
https://files.catbox.moe/g5b5vr.png

[Anonymous No.]

>>67905049
Sometimes low-hanging fruit can taste just as sweet as higher concept stuff, and this shows it.
Aside from echoing disappointment at the lack of lactation play, as well as not having horn use or rough shortstack manhandling, this was really good for a one-shot fetish fic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67906295
Drought I guess?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67908431
i'm open to this, i think i could make it work
>>67908685
>>67909152
added of both of your responses to my idea doc, I'll play around with them and think about how i want to proceed (i appreciate the praise too :D)
>>67909109
glad you like it, enjoy (that's good pailoli)

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
Kaela using your face as her streaming chair while she plays Palworld for 18 hours per day.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>67910875
Cause of death: Ass-phyxiation

[Anonymous No.]

>>67910875
This, but you just look at it all day because of how mesmerizing it is.
Then you die because you forgot to eat. Or, by ass-fixation

[Anonymous No.]

>>67912258
>"Brother in law. I love you. Really..But you cant say that about the scutum"
>"You know im right! There's studies for this!"
>Before your brother in law can argue, Mr ravencroft calls him, in need for another pair of hands for the grill.
>You take the chance to slip away to the bathroom. The midwest is dry, and you've been chugging beer and water to keep yourself hydrated while visiting your inlaws
>Its only been one year of marriage with Nerissa, but you feel really close with her family.
>Is a tigh knitted one...well maybe a little too much.
>As you leave the bathroom, You are greted with Mamarissa, Aradia and Malpha. Ambushed.
>"Anon. Lets have a chat"
>They push you into the living room, sitting you in a chair as they all surround you
>"So?"
>You gulp. This is a test
>"So-Sorry...I love Nerissa too much. I wont cheat"
>they look at each other, confused
>"That's not why you are here. You are here because you are a failure"
>Ouch
>"ITs been ONE entire year. 365 days"
>huh?
>"Where are our nephews Anon?"
>HUH?
>"YES ANON! WHY IS NERISSA'S WOMB NOT FILLED WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN?!"
>"E-Excuse me?"
>"My hubby told me that 5 kids its too much...the nerve of that man!"
>"and mine doesnt want kids! Preposterous!"
>"Look around anon! all my kids left the nest...and Malpha's kids are growing up so fast! Why wont you give Nerissa kids?!"
>...
>"We-We just havent talked about it?! We wanted to enjoy our marriage!"
>"Are you sure its not you?"
>"What? No! i was tested! And Nerissa...Well she's TOO fertile! we have to use condoms AND pills!"
>They all gasp. Malpha faints
>Nerissa walks in
>"Heyyyy. Dad wants to know if any of you wants coleslaw"
>"NERISSA RAVENCROFT! I DIDNT RAISE MY DAUGHTER TO HAVE PROTECTED SEX!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>67915289
Oneerissa becoming a child of god to unleash her sexual desires on one man and become his personal baby factory is doing shit to me man...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67915289
>Nerissa so horny that she wants to have sex instead of fulfilling her midwestern duties of being a baby factory and making pies

The ravencroft sisters are propaganda to get you interested in white women and its working aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[Anonymous No.]

>>67915848
Vaccine found finally for yellow fever?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67917290
Who would've thought it would only take 3 white girls to do so?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67904582
>>67908086
Thank you! I'm glad you guys enjoy it so much!

>>67908671
Cutting that scene was the last thing I did to edit it and I did go back and forth on the idea, and ultimately I felt like it'll be better for the story going forward if I keep the perspectives down to just Anon and Polka for the most part. I'll be sure to keep references to (You) in the third person during them too. I can never make up my mind on that, cause as writing of course it makes sense to me who they're talking about, but obviously it's not so clear-cut to a reader.

>spoiler
The original idea was gonna leave it much more ambiguous, but I want to avoid the more obvious arguments inherent to the idea of bringing someone back and give Polka more of a basis to stand on rather than just being grief-stricken enough to go along with it. It's gonna be touched on before he finds out, but Anon has certain feelings towards necromancy that I think become much more interesting when he's confronted with it already having happened.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67917290
They havent fixed my jungle fever so doubt it

[Anonymous No.]

>>67917922
I will never be cured, and I don't want to be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67917922
>>67919753
fic where Flare is a massive slut that's constantly teasing you but no one else believes you...

[Anonymous No.]

>>67921146
>That side of her is only for (You) to see
>The amount of depraved, kinky, and straight up horny shit she says to you in hushed whispers and when you're alone is enough to make you diamonds on the spot
>Everyone just sees Flare as this proper and controlled half-elf
>Hfw someone's back is turned and she catches you looking over at her
>Your legs are going to be so sore tomorrow

[Anonymous No.]

>>67909712
Fap session complete
Gotta say, you absolutely have a way with smut scenes.
Something I wish for the future, though, is playing around with the fetish a bit more.
The best part was raising her hips up so her legs were dangling in the air and only her massive honkers were on the bed, and it was over in a flash. More like that would be good.
Do more with how much smaller she is, use it to have fun sex positions. Like having her up in the air, back against your chest, dangling on your cock while you furiously manhandle her tits. That's the good stuff.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67909712
>>67922651
NTA, but I'd add upside-down paizuri. Hold her up by the ankles, or let her wrap her legs around your torso and hold her tight, while she puts her tits around your shaft and gets to work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67921416
Flare giving you the worlds most erotic footjob under the table while looking like she's just eating her food in silence

[Anonymous No.]

>>67923098
>Moderating Flare's live chat
>She shoots down a perverted joke with a joke of her own
>People laugh but still rib her for being a prude
>If only they knew flare has been grinding you the entire stream

[Anonymous No.]

>>67922651
>>67923090
both noted, thank you!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731933
*chanting*
SUISEI BREAST EXPANSION
SUISEI BREAST EXPANSION
OR BIMBOFICATION, THAT'S GOOD TOO

[Anonymous No.]

>>67917540
>I'll be sure to keep references to (You) in the third person during them too.
Making references to the MC is fine, the main problem was that you were referring to the MC as “You” even when speaking from a third person perspective that was following Polka, instead of referring to them as “Anon”.
Anyway, I’ll let you cook and see how the next part goes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67928888
That's what I meant, yeah.

[Anonymous No.]

Oi, this thread needs to live for a bit longer!

[Anonymous No.]

>>67931341
And it shall.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67927582
Hey, you just got Lapu breast expansion. Don't be so noisy!

[Anonymous No.]

do you the guy's name being anon, or would you prefer something more orthodox like john

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
always anon
or a vague third-person title

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
I'm the minority here, but I personally don't like "anon" characters. If it's a second person fic, I prefer a story that's written in which the main character doesn't get named at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
i like anon/unnamed cause it's the easiest to self-insert and right after that it's roles like senpai, sensei, commander
names are okay if its a weebshit one and part of a long running series, imo. less (You) and a more of a breathing character in the story

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
I'm more partial to anon but I don't mind other names. What I really like though is when writers come up with relevant nicknames for 'anon', like CH's Transfer student. I feel like it meets some sort of middle ground between those two options.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67731874
Little Big Auntie

https://rentry.org/auntieaqua

Tags: NSFW, Aqua, Aunt, Masturbation, Washing, Meta

[Anonymous No.]

If the uncle Aqua story isn't delivered before February has begun in every time zone, the Anon who failed to deliver it will henceforth be known as Uncle Bitch.

[Anonymous No.]

Bump for reading time

[Anonymous No.]

>>67936433
I know by design a younger aunt aqua fic needs to have this much set up but this is just in a weird middle ground where it feels like you didn't know if you wanted it to be fluffy, or comedic or crude.
I like way this reads but it just doesn't come together into a cohesive whole.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67936433
I feel like I enjoyed the backstory of how the age gap occurred more than anon trying to slip into his aunt with about as much resistance as a a soaked bar of soap.
The meta commentary was humorous, but I feel like if you want to include it, it should be more intrusive if you want to be comical. On the topic of the comedy, I can't really tell what direction the story really wants to go. Does it want to be wholesome and romantic? Or just pure smut with you rawdogging your pillow bodied aunt? I also got some weird whiplash from how it went from 0 to 60 in terms of "I am quite alright fucking my blood relation aunt."
At least by my time, it's still January, so promises have been kept. It also reads decently, so nice going there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67935555
Seconding how nicknames for "anon" are nice to see. There's a few that do that as well here and there when it comes to certain characters addressing anon.

[Anonymous No.]

Not yet

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
I'm gonna be honest, I only really like anon for second person reader insert stuff. If you move out of that I'd be more partial to titles/nicknames or even just straight up actual names.

[Anonymous No.]

>>67912258
Spanking all three of them together would be a fun activity for the whole family. Maybe some kind of endurance contest?

[Anonymous No.]

>>67934128
Echoing what's already been said, Anon or unnamed or a nickname. Honestly what takes me out of a fic more is if it gets too specific. An Anon can be whatever or do whatever but the second he gets a name or even a descriptor I get ripped right out of the story. I remember that happening with Play in the Rain and You get Wet

[Anonymous No.]

Baking, please stand by

[Anonymous No.]

>>67947769
Baked, migrate when ready

[Anonymous No.]

>>67856624
And then being rawdogged for more