Pasta thread #3

[Anonymous No.]

A continuation from the previous threads that died, even from the archives.

The sole purpose of this thread is to deliver vtuber-related pastas. They could be any type of genre or form.

As OP, I will start with the first 3.

[Anonymous No.]

>>659802

[Anonymous No.]

>>659813

[Anonymous No.]

>>659846

[Anonymous No.]

Nenebros, where those 2 legendary pastas?

[Anonymous No.]

>>659813
not all of us have 8k displays, anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>659813
(You)s in screencaps
unprofessional

[Anonymous No.]

>>659928

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306

[Anonymous No.]

>>660223
Fuck off
>Yo anon I just entered the thread and wtf is this
This made it for me

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
>>660326
Every time

[Anonymous No.]

>>660194
what is a middle-mouse image click

[Anonymous No.]

>>660425
It's up to the poster to make his screencap collage readable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>659813
>Just recounted, I have 9 kinds of vinegar

[Anonymous No.]

>>660459
nigga just go to a new tab and zoom in

[Anonymous No.]

>>660497
I wouldn't have to if you weren't compositionally retarded

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
>if you study japanese in nene, you will fail
wat

[Anonymous No.]

>My name is Fumino Tamaki and this is my story

>be a cat of misfortune
>already wasted 4 out of 9 lives (dislocated jaw twice on stream, nipples almost fell off, ate a con artist's fake chocolates (which turned out to be marshmellos dipped in an unknown substance), sang the Nyan cat for 10 hours on stream)
>every day, a calamity strikes
>one day, no misfortune struck
>11pm, go to bed
>happy that the deities have finally forgiven me for whatever I did to them
>11:03pm
>7.1 magnitude earthquake appears
>hoped for too much
>tremors continue for a bit
>at least they are just tremor-
>a 15-kg microwave falls on arm, smashing the bone
>where the fuck did this microwave come from
>*flashback*
>keep microwave above bed
>a few days ago, moved it slightly so precious anime figures can have a place of their own
>microwave looked tilted but still usable
>*current time*
>can't move my arm but I should be fine
>it gets worse
>go to the doctor in 12:00 midnight
>"miss, your arm is broken"
>4 out of 9 lives left

[Anonymous No.]

>"Otsumachi! See you next again, have a nice day!"
>Hoshimachi Suisei ends another stream
>"It's kind of painful to intentionally butcher my English like that, but I can't afford to let anyone knows how good my English actually is" she thinks to herself as she stretches her arms, trying to relax her muscles
>She closes her OBS and starts her browser to open a certain site
>"Still joking about Anemachi not being real, huh? Well, I was the one who started that narrative"
>"The best way to lie is telling the truth and acting like it's a joke after all"
>She giggles, happy that once again, everything goes according to her plan just like how she orchestrated the whole INNK incident
>"Now, time to continue my project. I'll grab my can of coffee first"
>She closes her browser, gets up from her chair, and begins searching for a can of coffee that she bought yesterday
>"Ah, there it is"
>She finds it lying around near her countless unorganized trophies and certificates
>"Seeing these makes me remember that I'm actually a genius" she said to herself, showing her narcissistic side
>She sits back on her chair, opens her can of coffee, and starts a certain program
>A MACHINE - ANEMACHI.EXE
>"I wonder how many people realize that "Anemachi" is just an anagram of "A machine". Most vtuber fans are simpletons so I doubt they get even a simple thing like that"
>"Let's do a little test first"
>She clicks a button with the word "Begin"
>"Initializing..."
>"Complete!"
>A virtual woman with a pink hair appears
>"Hello, Sui-chan!"
>She hears a really familiar voice, none other than her own voice
>"Hello onee-chan!" she answered
>"How was your day Sui-chan?"
>"I just finished streaming, I'm happy that I got a lot of new members and superchats today!"
>"Really? I'm glad to hear that!"
>"Thanks onee-chan, see you again!"
>"See you!"
>She closes the program
>"Perfect, she can do a really basic conversation for now. But, there are still so much works to do"
>As she drinks her last drop of coffee, she begins yet another sleepless night of programming her unfinished AI
>"They say a person has two deaths, when their body dies and when somebody says their name for the last time. One day, this "Hoshimachi Suisei" will graduate, but I will make sure that my name will be remembered for eternity. This AI, "Anemachi" will be my eternal successor as the perfect Idol Vtuber"
>"Hoshimachi Suisei will live on forever"

[Anonymous No.]

from okayu thread
>be returning from work at night
>don't want to cook, so you stop by lawson's for a small snack
>grab something from the cold bar and check out with the clerk
>ohnoshe'shot.jpeg
>try not to look at her because it makes spaghetti want to come out of your pockets
>it feels like she is burning a hole through your head with her gaze
>"sore wa boku no tameni?" she asks playfully
>...
>you open your mouth to try and say something in a futile effort
>nothing comes out, only spaghetti
>she takes your onigiri back and takes a bite out of it
>"arigatou~"
>sprint out of the store
>pack your belongings and take the next plane out of Japan to Brazil to absolutely make sure that you never meet her ever again
>such is life, you lament. you cherish this memory as you bleed out from being jumped and stabbed by motorcycle muggers

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
what the hell is "air served"

[Anonymous No.]

>>660524
OP here, you're utterly autistic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>661386
Yes, and?

[Anonymous No.]

>>661386
>>659813
The amount of dead space in that image coupled with its 3k by 3k dimensions gives me an aneurism. Am I autistic as well?

[Anonymous No.]

>>661483
Keep up the good work. If it bothers you so - edit the image. I found it as it is and I have no intentions into wasting my time into editing it. If you make it to your satisfactions (which doesn't require opening it into a new tab), I will save it and use it for future threads like this.

Does this satisfy you or do I need to larp more as HR.

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
>>660326
tfw someone made a screencap of my version.
I am only the latest in a long line. I hope anons copy pasted so they can post their own whenever they can

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>660990
Stop, its a lie! Suisei drinks Ringo juices no coffee!

[Anonymous No.]

>>661963
>just your typical Tuesday with your dog-wife

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>go to Japan for a job
>meet employer
>"Meet tomorrow in front "SUPA SPICY LAMIAN. Your target is vtuber"
>book hotel room near aforementioned place
>expensive af but the job will cover it
>next day comes, go to spot
>suddenly 2-meter tall pink-haired chick appears in front of me
>"Konnichihai my guy, you gonna itadakimasu into that super spicy LAMEN? I already had like SAN bowls I'm gonna [tootle] pop!"
>have no idea wtf she just said to me
>notice employer in the distance. she gives me a nod. This is my target!
>knee-kick the pink girl in the crotch
>she falls down instantly
>"nani kore senpai, that literally killed my manko..."
>"OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING?! CALLI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"
>some random orange-haired girl appears. I can understand her at least
>she has a knife
>shoot her in the head. London was enough for me to wait and see what a knife does
>she collapses. Dead. That’s gonna suck cleaning up
>pink-hair girl still struggling on the ground
>knock her out with the butt of my gun and take her up the hotel, which is 2 min away
>surprisingly, nobody saw anything
>tie 2m tall bitch to chair
>"FUCK BROTHER, NANDE DID YOU KILL MY LOVELY KIARA????!"
>there it is
>I start saying the rehearsed lines, given by my employer
>"Stop pretending you love Kiara."
>lean into her hear and whisper "I only wanted to listen to you shart on stream"
>she burst into tears "OMG BRO, DON'T KUROS ME. I'LL DO IT - I'LL SHIT MYSELF RIGHT NOW IN FRONT OF YOU"
>can't even manage to interject her, she starts furiously farting
>the noises she makes while doing this are akin to a pissed off bull in heat
>it smells like 2-week old egg salad left out in the sun
>"H-HERE, YOU WANTED THIS, RIGHT NII-CHAN??"
>idk how her fucking panties worked but they were pink and they were torn apart by the shit she released the moment she said those words to me
>what the fuck did she eat, it's like I'm watching a new species being born
>the smell worsened. idk what boiled shit smells like but I'm pretty sure it smells like this
>notice her grunts slowly turn into moans, sounding like that "OH BILL" vid i saw years ago
>isn't this enough?
>suddenly my closet just burst open and the orange-haired girl I shot earlier appears
>"Calli... do you seriously not love me"
>idk wtf is going on but my orders are to make this bitch reject her love for a "Kiara"
>i flash my gun to the mess that looked like a woman 2 min ago
>"Y-YES. I HATE YOU KIARA. I NEVER LIKED YOU, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!"
>orange girl turns around and runs out of my hotel room, wailing
>I guess that's enough
>i turn the laptop monitor towards my target
>her face went blank as she saw 90k+ viewers listening to the entire thing.
>Guess my job here's done
>get dizzy from the smell
>look at pink-haired girl, she is frozen still, possibly trying to figure out wtf she just gave birth to
>i rush out of the room and start heading down the stairs towards the exit
>suddenly get stopped by the orange-haired girl
>"Phew... Good riddance. I fucking hate that bitch since day 1 of our debut..."
>she hands me the money i was promised from the job
>hands me 2 buckets of chicken wings and nuggets
>realize this was my real employer
>"Thanks anon, you're a lifesaver."
>head to airport while enjoying my nuggers
>wtf is a "vtuber"

[Anonymous No.]

>>663636
Still OP of original one, just edited some shit cause i felt like it

[Anonymous No.]

>>663658
10/10 anon, good job

[Anonymous No.]

>>662210
if only

[Anonymous No.]

Gen 0 Cucking Aqua

[Anonymous No.]

Anyone got the link to the Google doc of this guy's story? He was writing it on an Ame thread but it's gone now. I have more screenshots of the rest except the last part

[Anonymous No.]

>>666571
I second this. I genuinely got invested and I need to know what happens next or I’ll shit myself super hard and then there will be shit everywhere and I’ll start crying and my mom will beat me and kick me out for doing it again. Please

[Anonymous No.]

>>667010
>>666571
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Glud9rXjrjBuJS0CW8Hni4mV2keUJkSWVb7zwRNyTDo/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.]

>>666571
damn, i saw it earlier but i didn't save the link

[Anonymous No.]

>>667089
Thank you anon, you saved me from shitting myself

[Anonymous No.]

>>666406
the top one is new for me
i have coom, thank you 4eva

[Anonymous No.]

>>667130
all in a day's work

[Anonymous No.]

>>667089
Not bad but I can tell the writer is a gachikoi for Ina.

[Anonymous No.]

>>661963
hot

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
i need that nene pic

[Anonymous No.]

What I would do to be able to slap Aqua hard across the face and knock her to the ground, call her a stupid fake bitch, watch her cry like a baby and then break all her stupid toys in front of her. Imagine smashing her water cooler and she's just grabbing at your heels, begging you not to kill Kirito. Imagine destroying her Switch and Gaming PC and watching her absolutely lose it as probably thousands of dollars and hours of investment go up in smoke. She seems like the type to be particularly sentimental over objects (autistic). I'd love to tear a hole in all of her stuffed animals then rape them in front of her to taint them in a way that simply destroying them could never do. I want to cum all over her otaku merchandise, every figure and shitty LN in her collection, so that she will only feel disgust when she thinks about any of her beloved garbage franchises. I wish I could spoof her friends' phones and send her hateful texts from all of them telling her exactly how much they hate her and demanding she never speaks to them again. I want to see her despair.

[Anonymous No.]

>>661963
>saved with my filename
さすが

[Anonymous No.]

>>663636
wait is mori actually 6'5

[Anonymous No.]

>>672841
No, she's 5'6.

[Anonymous No.]

>>673321
I want a bitchy, demanding, 6'5 Mori

[Anonymous No.]

>>667281
And that's a good thing

[Anonymous No.]

>>673522
I want this as well, but also she weighs over 400lbs

[Anonymous No.]

>>673895
No, she's 6'5 and doesn't take no for an answer, fatfag. Go eat some cheetos

[Anonymous No.]

>>673970

[Anonymous No.]

>>673970
>Fat
Bro, you can be 6'5" 400lbs and jacked as fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>673970
I'm skinny personally, I like women fat though

[Anonymous No.]

>>674019
Yeah, but even at 6'5, she'd be barabait with 400lbs

[Anonymous No.]

Did anyone save the YAGOO revelations rrat?
I need it

[Anonymous No.]

>>674291
never mind I'm retarded

[Anonymous No.]

>>673970
She will be 6'5 and she WILL be 400lbs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>674597
CCCCOOOOOOOMIONNGGGGGGGG

[Anonymous No.]

>>674597
A world... without whales...

[Anonymous No.]

>>674597
some STIV shit going on in here

[Anonymous No.]

>>667089
Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>660306
anyone got a clip or potato chips and tomato juice?

[Anonymous No.]

>>659802
Sorry for the low resolution

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>667089
Whast the fuck is this shit? I actually got invested in this gay fanfiction and want more.

[Anonymous No.]

>>660548
means she has such little understanding of her fucking native language that when she tries to teach her viewers she fails miserably

[Anonymous No.]

OLLIE...... OLLIE :mayat: :mayat: :mayat: WANGY WANGY WANGY WANGY WANGY WANGY (formalin) HU HA HU HA HU HA, aaaah baunya OLLIE wangi aku mau nyiumin aroma wanginya OLLIE AAAAAAAAH ~~ Rambutnya.... warna warni aaah rambutnya juga pengen aku elus-elus ~ AAAAAH OLLIE :mayat: :mayat: :mayat: manis banget AAAAAAAAH

TATAPAN OLLIE BEGITU MENGGODAAAAAAAAA............ GUA RELA JADI BUDAK SIMP HANYA DEMI OLLIE TERDJINTA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

apa ? OLLIE itu gak nyata ? Cuma mayat 2 dimensi katamu ? nggak, ngak ngak ngak ngak NGAAAAAAAAK GUA GAK PERCAYA ITU DIA NYATA !! GUA GAK PEDULI SAMA KENYATAAN POKOKNYA GAK PEDULI. OLLIE ngeliat gw ... OLLIE NGELIATIN GW! OLLIE... kamu percaya sama aku ? aaaaaaaaaaah syukur OLLIE gak malu memiliki aku aaaaaah :mayat: :mayat: :mayat: YEAAAAAAAAAAAH GUA MASIH PUNYA OLLIE, OLLIE AKU SAYANG OLLIE AKU CINTA OLLIE AKU AKU INGIN OLLIE MENJADI BIDADARIKUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>674402
>The mighty angel of seven thunders
>Roboco
Holy fuck my sides