/wg/ - Writing General - Sleepy Shrine Maiden Edtion

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for (almost) everything you could want from vtuber fanfiction. We’re currently hosting the /vt/ Writing Rumble - Winter Writing War, a friendly competition for the holiday season! The info page & contest archive can be found at: https://rentry.org/VTWRWWW

Check the main archive below for everything the thread has put out in nearly three years of existence, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>"Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction?"
Yes.

Previous thread: >>63898490
(Where we talked about your favorite show but with chuubas, Kawata Hololive, and Marine scoring)

/wg/ rentry for bakers: https://rentry.org/wgrentry/

[Anonymous No.]

Story Anchor
Post em if you got em

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

Story recap. There was one story posted last thread.

HoloJourneys: (Across Deserts to the Oceans Blue, A Shining Star Debuts) Chapter 40: A Costal Skirmish, the Campaign to Free Shallah Begins >>64072545
Tags: (Watame, Flare, Polka, Nene, Botan, SFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff)

[Anonymous No.]

Story recap. There was one story posted last thread.

HoloJourneys: (Across Deserts to the Oceans Blue, A Shining Star Debuts) Chapter 40: A Costal Skirmish, the Campaign to Free Shallah Begins >>64072545 (Cross-thread)
Tags: (Watame, Flare, Polka, Nene, Botan, SFW, Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Fluff)

[Anonymous No.]

CONTEST STORY ANCHOR
For any stories you want to enter into the contest, reply to this post!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
Having repeated hidden-in-plain-sight fights to death against Chloe because she found out you're dating Shion

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086779
Blackbean Chapter Two

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTrgdRLbfE4K-KNO4AJ-0ULyjMF3Vl0jmdWfpqIXs_6489IviIvwp2M1J1AHRcB8WeG_CUoPZVkJau_/pub

tags: Towa, Botan, Watame, Mio, Fubuki, fantasy

[Anonymous No.]

>>64087796
This but the "fights" are just sex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64088087
I think this could benefit from another pass of proofreading and edits. Some of the lines come off as very stiff and have some grammar issues. For example: Botan and Fubuki looked so peaceful and she felt some part of her die as she gazed upon it. - "It" should be "them" in this context, since she's looking at the two of them which is causing her despair.
another minor grammatical thing
“You’re… you follow Ina’nis? Isn’t that… evil?” - It would flow better to imply that Ina'nis is evil and not simply the act of being of a follower of her, since she herself is the subject of the conversation there and afterward.
For the content itself, it's moving right along. I'm honestly more interested in what Watame and Mio get up to over Botan at the moment. I have a feeling that you might try to paint some experiences within Botan's past that helps shape who she is when Balsa starts, but when that seems to entail a lot of life kicking her in the snatch at every turn, I'm more interested in what my sheep is gonna get up to and how she will do nothing wrong.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64090168
Oh yeah those were grammar mistakes. I will fix those up shortly.

>but when that seems to entail a lot of life kicking her in the snatch at every turn, I'm more interested in what my sheep is gonna get up to and how she will do nothing wrong.

You continue to surprise me with every critique (in a good way). I'll try to be a little easier on Botan in the coming chapters but this will be her at the very start. My plan is to sort of divide this into three parts: 300 years before balsa, 250, and then 90 (though that will likely be subject to change) and we're going to see Botan grow majorly throughout, as well as the other characters.

I am surprised you were more interested in the Wata story because I was so skimp on details but I think you're going to like what I've got planned. Mio and Watame are going to have a great arc together.

Thank you for the critique. I always love hearing from you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64088952
Sex to the death, like the antechinus does it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086956
I'm envious of Pekora...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64090747
I think it can easily help your character's journeys if you go a little easier on them. I think it might be a product of your writing style, but you are quick on the trigger finger to give one of your characters either a painful death, or just nonstop misfortune. Abuse is kinda your bag from a majority of your works, so it makes sense that you gravitate towards it. When you balance the good with the bad though, it'll make the eventual harsher events more digestible not only by your characters, but the readers as well.
Watame is my number 1 sheep, of course I'm interested in what she's gonna do, and while I haven't gotten to write Mio yet and she's pretty far off, I always have a mighty need for my wolf.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64093016
Who is your number 2 sheep? /wool/ taught me there are more than I thought.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64093016
>but you are quick on the trigger finger to give one of your characters either a painful death, or just nonstop misfortune.

Yeah it definitely is a horrible habit of mine, at least for stories like this anyway. if you hadn't given me the critiques you had during Balsa, I would've actually killed of Civia and Ciyana together. I think the story was better of as a result for that as well. I am going to try to balance it out a lot more though. I'm sure you can guess already, but Towa is going to act as Botan's mentor figure through the entirety of the story and I'll have a lot more content surrounding Mio's relationship to her as well. I will definitely go a bit easier on them. It's sort of just cruise control for me to make my characters really suffer so I never think that too much suffering can hinder a story at times.

Thanks for your critiques man. You're going to make me write a masterpiece one of these days.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64093874
There are quite a few others, but I haven't had time to really watch any of their content. It will be a cool idea later on to bring in some other sheep chuubas when the setting calls for it. When I have a number 2 sheep, I'll let you know.
>>64094636
Nice to hear that you'll be venturing out of your comfort zone a bit! It definitely helps us all grow as writers to do it every so often. Thanks for taking my suggestions in stride.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

You know I think it's kinda cute that Balsanon knows not many people read his stuff but HJanon is always there writing reviews for him.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64100774
I tried with Balsa but the writing was a bit hard for me to get into and i dont like his style of 40 chapters per week but oh well and i cant read blackbean because its a prequel...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64100774
>not many
nobody*

[Anonymous No.]

>>64100774
I like to give everything that gets posted a good read and post my thoughts if I think I have anything worthwhile to say. I also clearly have a soft spot for fantasy settings, chuubas of the hag variety, and magic. It's also just fun to see what kinda ideas and stories everyone can come up with.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64103143
>and i cant read blackbean because its a prequel...

You can. It's not going to be very heavily tied to Balsa so the spoilers will be very limited. I got someone else saying that as well so I'll be mindful not to drop any major story beats from the first story. It'll be more of an episodic, self contained story.

Essentially, this will be about how Botan became who she is in part one, how she met Balsa and it'll all be wrapped up inside a small schism within the order of Spears. I can't promise there will be zero spoilers naturally but it'll be self contained enough that you won't have to worry about any huge plot points being revealed aside from one that is rather obvious.

>and i dont like his style of 40 chapters per week but oh well

This made me chuckle lol.

>>64104228
I appreciate that you give it a chance. I know adventure is something I'm still far from exceptional at, but that's why I get my practice in here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64087796
And if I wanted both?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64105710
Anon, you can't date both your sister and Shion.
Neither of them will accept that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64104425
Adventure ain't an easy genre to get a handle on, I sure as hell know that. I'm still being put through my paces when it comes to it, but each new part of the story brings new opportunities and skills to learn.
I'm going to get real into fleshing out the religion practiced in the Usada kingdom. I'm really looking forward to doing that since I haven't really given something as powerful as a culture's faith enough of the spotlight yet in my writing. I've mentioned it here and there for various peoples, but there's a lot of fun potential I haven't unleashed yet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64107040
That's the whole fun of it, the improvement. This story is going to be really fun. I have a fun concept that I'm going to try and play with that will lend itself really well to timeskips. Just hope I can implement it as good as it sounds in my head.

I'll make sure to give it a read then if I find the opportunity. I really need to start reading actual books rather than manga and viyda lol.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64107008
Are you implying Chloe is my sister? Eh?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64088952
Or fights that turn into sex because Chloe is too horny for Shion
>Shion using her magic to mask you two having rough sex in the alleyway
>Chloe trapped beneath the fancy restaraunt table getting fucked in the ass while she eats out Shion
>Chloe tries to ambush you in the bedroom but gets tied up and toyed with

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

what was the cheesiest line you've read?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64115867
Probably that title drop from Sad, Genuine Smile. Title drops in general are cheesy but some can be kino.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64113687
What kind of job interview is this

[Anonymous No.]

>>64119511
HoloX shareholders feel that having separate 'Gaki Correcting' and 'Hag Breeding' divisions is redundant so La+ is interviewing you to see if you can accept the responsibilities of another department

[Anonymous No.]

>>64095398
Watame is so big in that outfit

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086738
The OP and story anchor pic are surprisingly sexy. I guess they make Miko look taller and give her a more adult face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64121028
Miko would be a sex symbol if she could speak.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64121767
What if she was mute?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64121858
Ah another crippled girl for that Katawa Shoujo but with chuubas in VR concept; also kind of fitting since this would mean Suisei would be deaf and Miko would be mute.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64122112
Why in VR? Is this some project I've failed to notice?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64121858
She would still make noises like what babies do and would never be fucked.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64122500
It's a discussion chain/concept that popped up a few times these past few weeks.
>>63037113
>>63165387
>>63933730

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64122957
How does a blind person play VR? Am I retarded?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64111343
>the "crippling injuries sustained in the fight" that made her skip the next stream are just you giving her a spanking while Shion watches

[Anonymous No.]

>>64123426
I mean presumably it would be SAO style full-dive VR where it directly grabs brain signals rather than just being a headset. In terms of realism it probably wouldn't work if it was a born blind thing but I'm pretty sure if it was just at legally blind it would still work... Then again you're already working with a super scifi VR headset so realism probably isn't going to be at the top of the shit you have to justify.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
dealing with a slightly drunk and very clingy Shion

[Anonymous No.]

>>64104228
What does it mean if you have nothing worthwhile to say?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64124206
i mean it can work (and would make some delicious drama) if the loss of sight was something that happened as she aged.
hell, that could be the connecting theme of all the girls: they all started with high hopes/talent and were slowly eroded by illness
>Suisei wanted to stand on the spotlight and shine. Little by little she was engulfed by darkness
>Miko wanted to live her life loudly and proudly. She lost her voice, and with it, her pride
>Subaru wanted to see the world with her boundless energy. Her heart said otherwise, and now she's slowly petering out

[Anonymous No.]

>>64125195
NTA but if you catch a few reviews before yours you'll probably see people talking about stuff you were going to, and then turns out that you have nothing to add that hasn't been said.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64126235
That's fair I guess. Though you can always leave your overall verdict, and appreciation if the story was good

[Anonymous No.]

>>64120141
Breaking news: Man found dead at Hololive HQ, signs of malnutrition and dehydration
>>64124206
If they do manage to hijack the brain directly and make it experience sight even if you were born without it, then that's it, it is no longer incurable anymore. What stops a blind person from using the same technology to show their brain basic camera output instead of a carefully constructed artificial world?
It would still be different from regular sight, but it will still be sight nonetheless. Just like a person with a hearing aid or a prosthetic leg but a couple of magnitudes more advanced.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64125795
>Mumei wanted to explore the world. A box breaking her spine said No.
Kanata... I'm pretty sure you can just use her actual condition, no changes necessary.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64124595
Stop coming here Chloe

[Anonymous No.]

>>64127240
I wonder if Chloe would like our Shion stories.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64127596
She wouldn't because a filthy MALE is violating her Shion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64125195
It doesn't necessarily mean anything one way or the other. I could have enjoyed the content but couldn't think of any insightful feedback or scenes that I would want to shout out. It's also like another anon said, if other reviews basically cover the same ideas I had, I may not have anything to add to the conversation.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64128035
funny fennec, I love you

funny fennec, i hope you love me too

[Anonymous No.]

>>64128035
nta but I hope you find something to say about my future stories. I'd be happy if you read them because you're so thoughtful and productive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64104228
I want to lick Botan's armpits so much like you wouldn't believe

[Anonymous No.]

>>64128210
I love this fennec too. I'm going to write about kissing her.
>>64128627
If you do your best and have a lot of fun with it, I'm sure you'll write something good that people will have stuff to say about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64123269
I love my foxwife so much!

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64127641
Is this even real? Smells of horned horse shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64117762
I live for cheese title drops, you can't stop me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64128210
I wrote this

[Anonymous No.]

>>64131401
It's accurate to Chloe's attitude towards Shion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64131404
Perhaps the real Holofantasy was the friends we made along the way

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132060

[Anonymous No.]

Speaking of cheesy title drops, I really want to use the word "Holo" in a line of semi serious dialogue. Even if it's via a homophone like
>This Hollow life of yours is no way to live.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64131401
I was under the impression Chloe would NEVER want to share Shion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64123653
>Chloe tries to snipe you but a dozen tentacles shaped like your dick restrain and fuck her all night
>Chloe walks funny through the HoloX offices all day not because you landed a hit on her leg, but because she has anal beads magically sealed up her ass

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132060
At the end of our holojourneys, through the face of the holopocalypse, we were partner's in crime, and I was more than Kurokami's errand boy.

Finnegan's wake style of fic, but instead of puns it's title drops.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132540
Well I think this is a win for her. Chloe is finally getting attention from Shion now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132444
Write a story set in Ireland and include the whole O'Laiff clan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132887
Pavlovian training, eventually she associates you with Shion's attention and mind-blowing orgasms, and you and Shion eventually accept her into your life and bed

[Anonymous No.]

>>64131513
>>64132533
Fair nuff, I'll let it slide...

For now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132533
She already has to share her with Gura

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132444
The capital of my main nation is called Holopolis.

The main deity among four is called Covernius.

The province where the main capital is located is called Minatoque.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133212
Oh yeah, that's supposed to be a thing.
Kinda forgot about it since Okayu was the one who started it

[Anonymous No.]

>>64132533
>>64133212
>>64133505
Shion has Gura as her wife, Chloe as her suitor, Aqua as her "friend" and Okayu as the object of her desire. I still remember Korone and Shion cutting Okayu up in their negotiations.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133659
imma be real with you chief. If it wasnt for this thread, i wouldnt even remember who is Shion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133212
>giving a fuck about "le lazy shork girl" in the year 2-0-2-3

Shion deserves better.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133979
I thought she managed the archive?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133979
You're missing out! She's a fun streamer and her music is nice, too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64133979
are you for real

[Anonymous No.]

>>64124595
>Shion after 1 Strong Zero only wants to cuddle and make-out all night

[Anonymous No.]

>>64138893
>"Wanna find out what flavor I had tonight?"
>"You had lemon. It's printed on the can."
>"Neeeee, just shut up and kiss me!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>64134846
Its ShioRI.
Not ShiON

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
One day while perusing the school library, Chadcast discovers the FUJO NOTE, a book that lets them control the romantic relationships of others. They quickly wreak havoc on the love lives of their fellow students and go mad with power, until they realize the book doesn't work on them and the one boy they all like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64138893
whore

[Anonymous No.]

>>64141567
No, without paying her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64141787
that would be a prostitute then.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64143710

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
Fauna breastfeeding you with her fat fucking tits like the titcow she is

[Anonymous No.]

>>64140408
>>64134846
It would be funny if Shion managed the archive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64141138
>they start small, like starting with people that have obvious hints for each other
>soon they're shipping Fauna with a tree, making her hump it in front of everyone

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64148730
This friend has an extremely loose shirt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149359
That's the one she stole from me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149578
>Fubuki is a serial shirt thief, breaking into men's homes and stealing their shirts that are far too big for her

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149578
What a slut you are, showing off your chest with an extremely wide collar like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149578
I wrote this post. She stole it as a way to claim me as her husband.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64150059
I wrote this post.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149578
>>64150059
>>64150359
The shirts a little, uh...zesty, if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086779
Blackbean Chapter Three

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vR3hp5NUBmlnqe49pHnfHg0Uvpn2v1yRq-xZpGQdsp38xOiFMTLes2FbAlPsXObjbZOyrMMX7_nBzCI/pub

tags: botan, fubuki, towa, shiori, multiple chuubas, fantasy

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64152035
bro, how are you pumping these out so fast? Please give me a fraction of your power!

[Anonymous No.]

Why's the board so god damn fast today jesus

[Anonymous No.]

>>64154374
passion project + I finally figured out the layout of the plot. Chapter one actually took me close to a month to finish because I was still unclear about what I wanted the story to be.

Passion makes the words flow out like water. I already have a quarter of chapter four done as well.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64152035
A nice little chapter for exposition. I like the very "magic with payment" approach you have to some of the mythical things. I got a question about that when it comes to deities though.
Is it common / accepted for people to receive the blessings of multiple gods? I remember in Balsa it was shown that a person usually just had one god they were a follower of.
Shiori herself was a cute little include. I saw what you were going for in how she rambles, but you can also consider using that as a tool for information dumping while it still being tasteful. Like she would likely go off about how her treatments actually work if she detects a hint of interest from her audience. The flow was a lot less stiff this time around, so nice going on that, I have a small suggestion grammar wise for here:
“What do we know about whatever is killing them?”

“Unfortunately, we don’t…” she explained - This should be changed to Unfortunately, nothing. OR if Reine asked instead "Do we have have any idea what is killing them?" That could be answered with a we don't. That might flow better given the following explanation of when it attacks and such.
and for
Allow me to introduce myself: I’m Pontiff Hoshinova Moona, Pontiff of the First Church of Kronii.” - You don't need to reiterate that she is the Pontiff of the church, that is already implied in her title, it can just be "of the first church of kronii"
For the part with Watame and Mio in general, their questions to the Pontiff seemed almost forced. The first theory Mio has wouldn't even be feasible given what they were already told.
“Are you in danger?” Reine asked - Missing a period, and additionally, I think what you might have been going for is Reine asking the obvious in a way that will hard sell the spears' services, or rather she is piecing together why she was brought here. Something possibly like "And you think you might be next? Pontiff?" Let her really posture as that hustling peafowl she can be.
I'll look forward to seeing what comes of both mysteries.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64154892
I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I'm glad it wasn't stiff. I was worried with how much dialogue down time there was that it may get a bit stale.

>Is it common / accepted for people to receive the blessings of multiple gods?

Shiori (as she is IRL) is going to be a special case. She's going to get a lot of detail in this story. But it isn't a common occurrence.

>tangents

That's a good idea I didn't think of. Definitely something I'll work into it.

>For the part with Watame and Mio in general, their questions to the Pontiff seemed almost forced.

I see what you mean. I was worried they wouldn't have anything to add so I wanted to give them something rather than standing and listening.

>Moona's lines

I won't spoil anything, but there is actually a reason that lines were said that way. Thank you for the corrections regardless.

Thank you for another good critique. Chapter Four to follow soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64155337
As fledglings, they aren't expected to add anything during the conversation, unless one is purposely trying to assert themselves and show initiative. As for Moona, that might make sense then, but it might help a reader to possibly showcase subtly how either Reine finds her manner of speech odd, or that she has a really thick accent or something. Otherwise it just kinda reads awkwardly since I wouldn't have the context of whatever explains it later, or rather even expect it to be explained or know that something is actually off.
Glad you're having fun and bringing your own story about the way you want to. I know you like to go fast, but remember to pace yourself. You can afford a day or two to let your own ideas simmer for a bit and build off them before you call a chapter complete. Take some time to consider all the angles, and you might stumble upon something about the chuuba involved that you would like to include.

[Anonymous No.]

What quote, image, or piece of media in general prompted you to write one of your WIPs/fics?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
This was one of the images that stuck with me when I first started writing HJ. The eventual scenes I envisioned with Lamy based off this, her using magical fists of ice to pummel enemies and protect her new friends who helped her overcome her own strife helped prompt me to really let myself dive into this and take on writing again. I just look at pics like that and "I want to give another brand of life to this image."

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
I believe it was this one in particular that made me write Cuddly Fox, though I also remember there were short greentext prompts accompanying it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
Dark Medicine was directly inspired by binge reading Call of the Night.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
Yeah. The most "egregious" is when i was doing...huuuh..homework, and i revisited one of my favorite herio doujins...which then i went "wait...why dont these cowards eat pussy??" and then i saw kiara's fat but and wrote Ruffling some feathers.

Aside from that, id say Lost and Found was inspired by the manga "Bonnouji", The canvas by The character Jhin from Lol and "anon and Mio are two old people in love" is actually inspired by a chapter of Drake & Josh

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
None of my stories have been inspired by any particular piece of media. Mostly they come from the weird dreams I get during feverish illness.
But all my stories are also rubbish, so maybe I should try taking inspiration from something else.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
https://www.tiktok.com/@sixveeceear/video/7288486867673107719
This pixel art reminded me of how much I love the idea of being one of the last few people on earth, everyone else straight up disappears. Got me working on something with a similar vibe.

>>64160528
>Bonnouji
Shit I haven't heard of this manga in ages.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161251
If there was only you and one chuuba left on earth, which chuuba would you pick?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
When I was rewatching Moribito, this scene was the spark that started Balsa. The line "I am a tiger! and if you get any closer I'll swallow you as well!" still gives me chills and I'm hoping to write a line like that in Blackbean. Moribito is a huge influence on both stories.

Most of my other stories don't really come from outside influences. Kafka is just T-dumping and Building Block Doll is just a collection of fantasies I've always had.

>>64156238
>for Moona, that might make sense then, but it might help a reader to possibly showcase subtly how either Reine finds her manner of speech odd, or that she has a really thick accent or something.

Fair.

>I know you like to go fast, but remember to pace yourself. You can afford a day or two to let your own ideas simmer for a bit and build off them before you call a chapter complete. Take some time to consider all the angles, and you might stumble upon something about the chuuba involved that you would like to include.

I know, I know, I just feel so guilty whenever I see the general have low activity. I know it's not like I have an obligation but I'm just weird like that. I will try to slow it down a bit so I can give it a bit more flourish.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
Suisei easily, she's my kami-oshi after all. Of course, there's probably a more logical choice to this that I would have to think more about but I would still probably choose Suisei anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
My lovely foxwife.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
Y'know, I love me some Fubuki... but if it was just me and one chuuba...

Probably Botan. Incredibly industrious, reliable, and the hottest, nastiest sex you can possibly want.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64162733
And here's a sexy Botan pic to accommodate.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64163268
why does Botan never wear a bra on stream? Dam bratty hag...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
Kiara is my oshi, but she would probably just complain the whole time. So I'll pick Marine so we can have sex all day for the week we survive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
And together we'd conquer the stars.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
Saw this image and thought about Kiara's ass not fitting into her tight shorts, and then I thought about slapping it, and then I wrote hand in the cookie jar

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
I want to see a cute story where Futa-Mumei fucks Bae

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
Fire Emblem, to write the whole script of Battle for Aurorai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64161454
The one constant in this bitch of an earth:
Death.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
https://youtu.be/-VZptfte-OM?si=vmvs_epYSM04zJZT

[Anonymous No.]

Interesting end of round, but at least the catbeasts perished

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64175099
I really like this

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887
This scene from Unison made me want to write By That Sea (besides Marine being my oshi). Honestly, the MV for Unison has such a great melancholy feel to it that I can't get enough of. A lot of Marine's MVs are great like that and each one has a lot of inspiration to derive from.

Other than that, I've taken inspiration for scenes from fanart but otherwise, i've only done headhunting work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64178904
Could you derive inspiration from her song with Gura next?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64179879
Not in the way you want nyo

[Anonymous No.]

Clear.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64175099
I actually have an idea inspired by this very pic.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64158887

[Anonymous No.]

>>64183489
Slutty hag scientist...must...correct...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64149578
>>64150059
>>64150359
Lose some weight, that shirt is gigantic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086779
>>64087003
tags: NSFW, Shiori, Monologue, Comedy, Under 5k


Shiori's Fucking Monologue


Hm? Oh sure, it's pretty nice being carried like a princess, like she is just married and about to get her deflowering. I'm actually pretty good at deflowering, bought plenty of potted plants in my lifetime and even helped out with gardens, planting and watering and stuff, but never got the hang with flowers. So I just buy them you know? Especially roses because they're really...hey, if I'm on all fours like this it's called doggystyle right?

I'm no Chihuahua or Fuwawa, but I guess it's fine. When you're wet enough nothing's to tough, as they say. Well really that's just me saying that, I made that up just now. But here's something I read in a romance novel, "gimme them lust thrusts"...yeah, kind of like that. Wait, I thought of a better one: If I'm a doggy, you better give me a good...bone! Hehe...why do dogs actually eat bones, actually? I guess the marrow in them is pretty nutritious, but it tastes really weird. How do I know? Hey, don't worry about it!

You seem like a decent canoodler, just saying. Not trying to change the topic or anything. Pretty impressive for someone with no experience, so who needs skill when you have passio- oh no I didn't mean that in a mean way. Nothing wrong with being inexperienced, right? It's always fun for me, a man really going at it to make himself happy while I talk his ears off. While you pump inside me I'm pumped to give you some experience...give you a level up, you know? Nice angle by the way, keep using that, a bit faster and harder maybe. So yeah, you'll level up from the experience and get a...hoho, get a +1 in the Fuck stat. Like Luck in Fire Emblem except with an F, get it? Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Anyway, you know Dimitri from Fire Emblem? I really love that one fanart I showed you earlier, not just because of his muscles and expression but also because the rose in his mouth is really...what do you mean? Oh no I'm not bored with you, I kind of always think of Dimitri while fucking to be honest, he really makes my slit spit if you know what I'm saying. He's so courteous and cool before the timeskip, so no offense but if I imagine that your dick was his dick that's a bit more fun.

You can't do his voice, right? Might be a bit cringe anywa...ah, you're cumming already? Oh yeah I can feel your Falchion having those cute little spasms...tip from the pro though, keep thrusting cuz it'll pay off. Man, you sound like my cousin when he cums! Oh haha, no it's not like that. I wasn't in the room you know, they just have thin walls there and when I was visiting he'd always jack off in the room next to mine, probably to some animated girls dancing naked and getting fucked. Went through his browser history once, yeah he was dumb and didn't delete it or used private mode, funny for me though. Anyway, he went full turbo jacker in his creaky chair and made a noise like ooaaahh, like you just did.

It's not bad though, shows I made my big man here happy, right...oh wow, you might be a bit of a quick shooter still but you've got some high caliber ammo, if you can say it like that. Look at all that jizz leaking back out, the big sperm army in full retreat. But hey, glad you had some nice minutes, I'm not really close to an orgasm, but that's not your fault at all, yeah it'd be unfair to expect that from yourself. Even if a guy kept going for like 20 minutes I'd probably just get kinda bored, to be honest.
I'm just hard to please and stuff...didn't bring my vibrator that I've gotten used to, it's really crazy. I also get my finger up in there and give my abcdefg spot the ol' spinaround, as I call it, but the vibrator is the actual MVP. It makes the Play of the Game, lands the critical hit, gives my clit a vibe check, if you comprehend what I'm imply...eh, too much. I can't stop talking sometimes, you know? Okay, maybe most of the time. But just when I'm with a fun person like you, so feel honored okay?

Oh sure, I'll bring the vibrator tomorrow so you can test it out for yourself...I mean on me of course, though maybe it could be, heh, be the buzzer on your jizz show? Come on, it'd be funny...I'll make your cock crow with my mouth afterwards if you try it, that'll motivate you while you go all out to get me off. Sorry for the flowery language by the way, I've just been reading a lot of out stuff like that lately. I'm actually not that great with flowers, even though I bought plenty of potted plants in my lifetime and even helped out with gardens, planting and watering and stuff, but never got the hang with flowers. So I just buy them you know? Especially roses because they're really...oh, I said that already? Haha nevermind, guess it's stuck in my brain for some reason.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64184885
Bravo.
Now Im hard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64184885
it's like I'm actually there

[Anonymous No.]

>>64184885
I am probably not the target audience for this kind of character/humour because I just ended up thinking she was an idiot, but you were very successful at bringing across this... ahh, whatever this archetype is called.

[Anonymous No.]

Damn, I really want to write some Subaru.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64184885
Adorable and in character. Nice work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64185965
Write Ayame then.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64186001
Be quiet Mio

[Anonymous No.]

>>64185118
>I just ended up thinking she was an idiot
Well yeah , half of Shiori's charm is that she's probably speaking from the locker she got shoved in, since she's a huge fucking cringe nerd

[Anonymous No.]

>>64184885
>talking about Dimitri
>Falchion
you have angered me greatly, congratulations

[Anonymous No.]

>>64186681
It's a reference to a previous husbando of hers

[Anonymous No.]

>>64186741
yes, hence the anger

[Anonymous No.]

I will gladly roleplay Dimitri wearing his gay little suit and reciting all his lines as long as Shiori wears Mia's clothes or Panettes while we have sex

[Anonymous No.]

>>64188102
imagine how hard she'll cum when you whisper his romance dialog in her ear while railing her

[Anonymous No.]

Live

[Anonymous No.]

>>64183489
This image just makes me think of that Koyori develops an anal lube that gradually makes her retarded prompt, and also vaguely remember the anon that made a solid outline for it saying he gave up on it because he got locked up in chastity.

[Anonymous No.]

The "Bull support group" discussion from a couple of threads ago made me think of this line
>Why Anon? Why won't you look me in the eyes while I rail your wife?
That's all, thank you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64152035
God Shiori's tits are fucking massive in that pic

[Anonymous No.]

>>64191070
She does have some nice boobs

[Anonymous No.]

>>64191199
I need Shiori to breastfeed me

[Anonymous No.]

>>64190451
I'm not against continuing that at some point but even at the time it was just kind of a spur-of-the-moment idea that I didn't intend to slot in front of my other projects. Don't see it resurfacing before many, many other obligations are fulfilled first

[Anonymous No.]

>>64191070
I wanna crash into them

[Anonymous No.]

>>64190529
That sounds like it would fit multiple scenarios, but imagining Suisei saying that in that proposed micomet one just gets me laughing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64193396
>Miko drools as she looks to the ceiling, Suisei absolutely destroying her insides
>You get a closer look, trying to look at your wife getting blasted like a young black american in front of a police squad
>Suisei tries to touch your face, you swat her away
>She calls out to you, and once you finally pay attention to her, she tries to lean in to kiss you, where you just get away
>"A-Anon, why-?"
>"You're here to fuck my wife, now get your rocks off and leave."
>"But Anon! Suisei undoes the strap on, takes off the wig, revealing the long lost childhood friend."
>"Why won't you look me in the eyes when I fuck your wife?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
This but in story form

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
Kissing Mio in her forehead first thing in the morning after the most primal lovemaking night.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64199398
See, she knows.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64199398
(Without me)

[Anonymous No.]

>>64191199
>>64199398
yeah, mine

[Anonymous No.]

>>64200317
Shiori's big boobs are yours, and you won't have a child with Marine?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64201023
NTA, but I will impregnate Marine and help her overcome any weird complexes she has about being a good mother

[Anonymous No.]

Does anyone know how to fix this thing with google docs were the texts looks really small on mobile instead of adjusted to the screen?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64204288
Have you tried zooming in?

[Anonymous No.]

Do you find that you write better when you are overwhelmed by emotions, like lust, sorrow, loneliness, completely engulfed by them
or
is it easier to write when you are calm and collected, able to actually process said emotions?

Asking for a friend and probably a coping mechanism for the crippling loneliness I'll be going through in my immediate future

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205312
While emotional moments make for great rants and vents, I find that when I'm calmer and I can see my own emotions from an outside perspective, I can do them more justice.

Like, if I'm mad, my character will be mad. If I'm not, but he is, I'll be able to see why he is mad.

>Spoiler
Ha, I feel you. Stay strong.

[Anonymous No.]

/wg/ is up next on Lord of the Board for a tag match!
https://isthisliv.com/vtleague/

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205312
depends on what I'm working on. If it's First Train and Kafka, I only write it when emotionally high (same was true of Apple of Her Eye and Sakura Summer). But most of my other works are usually done while come or while on an inspiration high.

It can make for some powerful work if you decided to put it into writing but do be a bit cautious with it. I hope you feel better anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205791
Oh, cool. I'll tune in.

[Anonymous No.]

show me those word counts

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
Where's Laplus and her ruler?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206167
Too busy learning that her 4inch deep pussy can barely handle my 4.1inch dick.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
So far so good. And we're not even half way done yet. This'll be a nice, thick chapter. I want to keep going but writing all this in like 2 hours has turned my brain to pudding

[Anonymous No.]

WRITECHADS

[Anonymous No.]

TAG TEAM VICTORY FOR NOVELCHADS AND WRITECHADS

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205791
WE WON THE MATCH (together with TSN)

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205791
YOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.]

Writechads rise up! This is our time!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64208704
Yeah! I'm happy people enjoyed the Shiori monolgue.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64205791
The most kino matchup had to be the draw thread vs the ai art thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827

Okay, so now I kinda want to see if anyone will try any of these.

Try a comfy fic with Gen 0 (AZKi, Sora, Roboco, Miko, Suisei). I notice they don't get a lot of love as a group, but from a fiction standpoint if might be interesting to see their personalities bounce off of each other.

This, but it's a bodybuilding contest. All five girls have muscles bigger than the Incredible Hulk, especially gigantic pectorals. They're all hanging out backstage, casually chatting and lifting impossible amounts of weight. But it's all light-hearted and cheerful. Lots of flexing to show off for each other. Then they each take the stage to do their posing routines, all growing with each flex, then the final posedown together on stage.

My personal preference: AZKi wins, she ends up getting bigger than everyone else with even bigger pecs, but she's humble and honored to be on stage flexing with her honored friends.

The core of the story was about AZKi, Suisei, Sora, Miko and Roboco all growing ridiculously gigantic muscles, especially their pectorals, with AZKi being the biggest and most pectacular by far. Tons of flexing and showing off and posing, pressing muscle against muscle, maybe some very light les stuff between AZKi and Sora, and ending with my favorite, AZKi, just outpecflexing everything. And some interaction, dialogue, etc, to show off their peronalities and show they're not just empty YCH. Something that could have been easily done with a simple bodybuilding contest and concert or something.

OR

So, the fetish is "juice that makes you cum super hard". One casual sip and you can't stop cumming.

Fuck it, let's make this a Holodeath request, that's a new thing, right?

So Mori is super excited for an off collab with Rushia and Ollie, who flew in from Indonesia just for this. But while she is alone setting up the tech, she sips this "juice that makes you cum super hard", immediately gets the most gigantic erection of her life and starts cumming nonstop. She's still cumming endlessly when Rushia and Ollie arrive, end up taking sips, and now all three have massive erections and can't stop cumming for hours on end.

Then they somehow have to stream like this.

Optional ending: hours later, all still cumming, someone (probably Ollie) is just like, fuck it, let's all chug a few gallons of this stuff and see what happens.

OR

Requesting Hime Hajime death by paizuri. Hime decides to give some unlucky huge-cocked anon the titjob of his life. But even after he cums, she keeps titfucking him. He cums again and again regardless of what annoying or stupid or screechy shit she says. Eventually anon goes from cumming buckets to cumming oceans, and dies from cumming too hard.

OR

Gen 4 are missing their dear Coco, so the dragon comes back from the USDA to visit and show her love by fucking them all at once with her GIGANTIC cocock.

She does this by starting with Watame, then Towa, then Luna, shoving her giant cocock in their ass so far it comes out their mouth. But after all three of them are set, Kanata, who she loves the most, gets it shoved in her Angel cunt. So that while the other three can only feel the rush of cum running through the dragon meat they're speared on, Kanata gets cumflated with ALL of Coco's love.

OR

Requesting a fic about Gen One shortly after their debuts, before the whole covid thing, taking a trip to Las Vegas to bury Hitomi Chris' corpse in the Nevada desert and never speak of it ever again before having a fun romp through a casino and getting into wacky trouble!

OR

Requesting some greentexts or full on stories about Gen 3 trying to deal with an anon with a cock over 3 feet long.

Pekora trying her best to bunny hop on it but fails and she is upset with herself.

Flare reluctantly jacking it off in disgust.

Rushia screaming in fear that this monster is going to destroy her.

Noel actually excited as she puts her giant tits to good use and paizuries that monster.

Marine actually begging to be destroyed as you fuck her like a too small condom with your magnum dong.

OR

I wanna see this tanned elf goddess split Rushia in half on her gigantic futa cock.
I'm so into the idea of Flare having 0 hesitation when it comes to giving her former genmate the punishment she deserves by demolishing her cunny.

This, but afterward s Flare is still angry and hard as fuck, so she goes to her hyper muscles wife Noel who is insanely buff, who calms her down with loving words and a pecs/breasts paizuri for the ages.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
I wanna abuse Kronii's pussy with my cock

[Anonymous No.]

>>64214735
that's not a word count anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>64215731
I'm in an Uber back from a party I'll post it in like 15 minutes and reiterate my lust for the clock

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
at 6.6k and growing, just like your dicks will once I get to the raunchiest sex scenes ever concieved by any mind ever.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64194733
This would be such a wacky fucking love triangle romance. Even if I'm blanking on what would make good scenes in between the suicucking and Suisei trying to reconnect. Unless it's like a halfway through plot twist or an in media res thing rather than an opening chapter/scene? Since this specific thing feels like a fulcrum that would change the relationship between you and Suisei from bull/cuck to childhood friends trying to reconnect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64218439
this sentence made me feel gross to read

[Anonymous No.]

>>64218554
Maybe it could be something to the style of Pussy Annihilation, where the prose and descriptions are so over the top it's impossible to take seriously.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64218936
That would be one way to do it. Though it kind of wastes the idea's absurd premise by just going into pure absurdity rather than playing with the crossdressing childhood friend angle.

[Anonymous No.]

God man I have no fucking motivation anymore

[Anonymous No.]

>>64220092
You mean you don't have any yet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64220413
I had some, for almost 90,000 words

[Anonymous No.]

>>64221018
Well, that too! It's just a question of time until it comes to you again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64214735
Kronii lust...

[Anonymous No.]

CLEAR!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
I just need to escape samsara

[Anonymous No.]

I guess it's time, lads. We must wait for THE fic to be posted.

Yes, I'm talking to YOU. Finish that WIP, and save us from this hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64215731
>>64216061
Little bit longer because I ended up going to get smokes but here. This isn't my Kronii urban fantasy/incest WIP, that's only an outline still, but I will inevitably write about my bottomless lust for this fat-titted doomer

[Anonymous No.]

>>64185965
Please have anon gaslight her into feeding him mouth-to-mouth like a bird.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64206080
Hadn't checked in a bit

[Anonymous No.]

>>64186162
This is true, I gave Shiori a wedgie and shoved her in the locker.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
You wake up one morning and with realize you are in love with your childhood friends, Sora and A-Chan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
Training Mikochi's butt

[Anonymous No.]

>>64230208
Jesus, a pacifier on the butt?!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64230523
She has to be ready for any eventuality

[Anonymous No.]

>>64230523
Hot

[Anonymous No.]

>>64231022
Getting butt pregnant?!?!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64231097
someone summoned the bugfag?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64233426
Huh?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086827
You are Shiori's BF and she is autistically telling you all the ways she was bullied in high school with an impressive amount of enthusiasm, even as she tells you about the time she got her underwear ripped off by a wedgie, her clothes stolen during a shower, titty twisters, and so on.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64235991
Sex

[Anonymous No.]

>Day 2
>12:35p - Singles Group A: /wg/ vs /fbk/

Mate it's going off tomorrow

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086779
I'm fuckin back.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTHQNoyNK1_zHfuT4kP0bJdxTCWMilPc6L1eNFwJYbZVcyspsJFyIkCMQfXT58CGVuoA0oixd_PtCoh/pub

New entry to Holoshorts, featuring picrel.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64235991
This but you're having a panic attack because you were one of her bullies and you can't tell if she remembers that or not

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237463
Goodness, but Shiori has some amazing tits.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237463
Oh no I hope she doesn't rape or bully me in revenge that would be so bad oh noooooooo

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237463
I’ll fuckin do it again

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237497
They are quite nice

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237463
Nah, 2 bullied bonding over their misadventures

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237027
I'm glad you're back, I hope you'll tackle the one left just below this one in the document one day, I'm very curious to see it!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237848
>V-shape
>right size
>right amount of cleavage
>black outfit contrasts well with her pale skin
>slight amount of transparency creating a boob-window
>shading puts emphasis on softness and roundness

Perfect is a strong word, but...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64237463
>>64237769
>Shiori developed a fetish for bully play
>You feel like a tool for what you did in high school, but Shiori wants you to push her into a closet while calling her a nerd and fuck her right there

[Anonymous No.]

>>64238328
I think you'd have to butter her up with some actual bullying before you jam it in

[Anonymous No.]

>>64238386
You give her a swirly and she’s dripping when you rail her

[Anonymous No.]

>>64238154
>>64237848
>>64237463
>>64237497
i like how Shiori never speaks about her tits in a sexual way, she could catch you staring and she would go "oh yeah you guys like bazoongas right? hehehe oh golly you sure like em mister bwehehee"
Which makes it hotter because she's aware she has sexual appeal but she has no idea how to exploit it

[Anonymous No.]

>>64238632
>”I don’t think you all can dick me around—“

[Anonymous No.]

>>64238386
>"Now knock the books out of my arms! Flip up my skirt and make a snide comment about my choice of underwear when I bend over to pick them up!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>64236868
OHHH SHIT

[Anonymous No.]

>>64239047
>”I wanna hear an ‘I see London, I see France,’ mister!”

[Anonymous No.]

>>64239047
>>64239238
Holy shit I hope someone takes that request

[Anonymous No.]

>>64235991
Let’s be real, she deserves it
https://files.catbox.moe/rzlvxd.png

[Anonymous No.]

>>64240662
>She-Dorky Nerd-vella
I'm mad I didn't think of that

[Anonymous No.]

>>64240662
I want to pull on her legs and make her scream...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64241189
Whoa

[Anonymous No.]

>>64241452
Whoa? Isn't that a normal wedgie fetish thing?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64242120
It’s just not every day you see someone say that

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64243973
>it's cold in here...
>Where's oga?
>Mea's calling again...
>I wish at home, at least it's clean there...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64244535
Robert probably likes smelly women with how much he hangs out with Mea

[Anonymous No.]

Rise

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086738
I really wish the author of the old miss sakura one did another in the same style. it was really really good, fantastic build-up for a great smut at the end

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248323
It was okay. Writing could have had a lot more thought put into it, though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248310
That's a very robust fox back.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248415
My foxwife is extremely athletic!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248429
What physical activities does she engage in?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248506
Swimming, racing, speedrunning, participates in semi-competitive sporting events with her colleagues and frequently marathons anal sex with me

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248768
forgot pic

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248805
look at that juicy thigh meat

[Anonymous No.]

>>64249957
Don't do it, anon! Carnivore meat tastes like shit and is always full of parasites!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64250009
it wasn't an observation that they look tasty although i would certainly like to lick them

[Anonymous No.]

>>64248323
Glad to hear you enjoyed it, especially because that's quite rare. I unfortunately don't have any one-shot romances cooking right now since every WIP has become a series one way or another, but I hope you're able to enjoy some of the long form stuff I'll put out like five years from now. Miko has been quite fun to write in the past, so I'd like to write another story about her or at least add Migo as a character in a series to do her proper justice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64251437
Pitslut....

[Anonymous No.]

Guys please stop lusting over Shiori. She is AA so reading all of this makes her feel incredibly uncomfortable

[Anonymous No.]

>>64252470
*horny

[Anonymous No.]

>>64252470
I can imagine her giggling at the thought of nerds jerking off to images and fantasies of her, grunting and sweating in their computer chairs before shooting another load into nothing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64253394
>>64253394
>Shiori enthusiastically masturbating to the thought of so many people shooting their goo to her breasts

[Anonymous No.]

CLEAR

[Anonymous No.]

>>64254262
Pretty sure there was a piece of fanart like that, except with Gura.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64257384
Yes, I’ve cum to it a few times

[Anonymous No.]

You masturbate to them masturbating, they masturbate to you masturbating...it's like a perpetual motion machine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64257568
Do you think they write about us masturbating to them and then themselves in the writing masturbating to the masturbation and then masturbate as they write it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64257698
Fapception

[Anonymous No.]

>>64257698
>Shiori edging to fanfiction about us edging to fanfiction about her getting the shit bullied out of her

[Anonymous No.]

Important writing question: which chuubas have the thickest sweatiest bushes?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64258443
Botan, Mio, Fubuki, Korone, Flare, Lui and Raden.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64258443
Followup question: which have the cutest and nastiest stubble?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64258541
I don't know about Flare, she's part Elf and Elves are less hairy than Men.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64086779
Blackbean Chapter Four

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSmIDLIncIDZn8Cp8bObaT9KHSljsQzxrLRbx3nHazaip5EigKCtt4fhZdLccmI7tmf6PqKVX9WS0yJ/pub

tags: Towa, Botan, Watame, Shiori, Mio, Fubuki, fantasy

I tired my best to edit this chapter but I am notoriously bad at it so I apologize in advance. I hope you enjoy this nice long chapter.

[Anonymous No.]

/wg/ is up in Lord of the Board, with Son of the Fly facing Fubuki!
https://isthisliv.com/vtleague/

[Anonymous No.]

>>64259404
She gets it from her human half, duh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64258618
Fubuki, Okayu, Ayame, Chloe, Noel

[Anonymous No.]

>>64258541
My wife Lui is neat and clean-shaven

[Anonymous No.]

>>64260794
Tag team partners to enemies...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64261724
>hag
>clean-shaven
wasted potential

[Anonymous No.]

A good hag is a shaven hag

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262717
Take that back, right now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262717
You're lucky you didn't post that in /hag/

[Anonymous No.]

Wg’s thoughts on non-holos?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262906
Objectively, not a holo

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262906
I have no strong feelings one way or the other. But less people might know who you're writing about.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262906
That's not a coherent group, I can't say anything more that applies to all of them. Some of them are good, I guess.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64262906
I want someone to write some smut of her

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263235
You could be that someone!

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263235
Who?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263235
Word.
Self-insert, self-inserting as Astel/Gamma, Astel/Gamma in general...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263359
My writing brain died a while back

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263472
It's only dead if you let it stay dead. Don't be content to have that part of your brain be a relic of the past. Get your writing juices back, even if it's just bit by bit. Be the story you want to see written.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64263235
I wanna impregnate Qpi

[Anonymous No.]

>>64260088
This could use another pass or two at proofreading. While you might have done edits already, you might need to change up your method a little. I'd suggest reading one section from start to finish and making any fixes you see that need to happen, take a break, move on to the next. Once the entire chapter is done this way, go through it again one more time from the top. It's a tedious method, but it works. This would have been an easy catch from it: Mio got a child down her spine and nodded, - While I constantly think about giving Mio a child, this is nor the time nor the place.
On the topic of Mio, the manner of speech you give her seems a bit too rigid. Mio the Spear is of course different from regular miosha, but without any background to her personality or many interactions to go off of, she comes off as a little flat in her scene. This is her maiden mission as a spear graduated from initiate, but she feels almost detached from the whole situation. “Do you have her dismembered arms?” Mio asked - for example, if the arms are not on the body, she wouldn't need to preface that they're dismembered, both people at the scene can clearly see they're not where arms normally are. As Mio thinks and observes, you can do little thinks like mention an ear twitch, or the way she really gets deep into thought and lightly hums to herself. You got neat girls with animal features you can use to your full advantage. It adds a lot of color to a scene.
For the Reine side of the story, I think the pacing is good, and it looks like more will be interconnected than I first thought, which is a nice thing to let slowly unravel itself. The pacing for Botan's part however, it getting close to jarring. The situation escalated quickly and it was a little hard to follow the action since one second Towa has her throat sliced open, basically dead on the ground and spurting blood, and the next she's able to talk. I know living through these injuries is getting normal for Spears, but there wasn't a mention of anything Towa did to heal the damage. I think letting yourself build this side of the story up more will help the bigger scenes you have planned for it come out better. The confrontations also don't have to begin and end as a massive bloodbath either, this was the target's own turf, let them use it to their advantage and possibly escape their situation in other ways.
Sorry if this review comes off as harder than others, but those are my takeaways.

[Anonymous No.]

>Sorry if this review comes off as harder than others, but those are my takeaways.

Not at all, that was perfect.

>This could use another pass or two at proofreading.

I have no idea what to do other than get a bot or get someone else to eye it. I actually do it exactly like that. Each line break, before I start the next plot, I go back and edit it then do a larger edit once the chapter is finish both to polish it and to get any spelling or grammar errors I missed. Not sure what it is but it is a glaring flaw I can't seem to remedy.

>On the topic of Mio, the manner of speech you give her seems a bit too rigid.

Yeah and I think the reason for that is because she was solo. When Mio and Watame are together, or when characters are just together in general, it's easy to give them more personality. I say solo of course because the morgue keeper is obviously not going to be a big fixture of this plot. Nonetheless, I'll try to fix that up a bit and give them all a bit more color whenever they don't have anyone to bounce off. I'll also get more creative with the animal appendages. I'm just so used to them not really being a feature in other stories that I forget that in this story it's actually important.

>one second Towa has her throat sliced open, basically dead on the ground and spurting blood, and the next she's able to talk. I know living through these injuries is getting normal for Spears, but there wasn't a mention of anything Towa did to heal the damage.

That'll be elaborated on in future. Towa is going to have do a lot of crazy stuff that's related to her gift. Not to make it sound like a cop out though because the discrepancies are going to be part of something in the future. I will though try to make Towa's abilities a bit more elaborated on so as not to fall into the trap of "she can do whatever the plot needs her to do"

>I think letting yourself build this side of the story up more will help the bigger scenes you have planned for it come out better.

I hope it didn't come off that way. I think I may have just put the action up a little to intense. There's going to be a plotline regarding Aloe and Towa in the future and this was sort of just the prologue to that struggle. The big event for these two is yet to come.

Thank you for the review. It didn't come off as too harsh, that was informative as usual.

[Anonymous No.]

>>64260794
He has surpassed his own mother…

[Anonymous No.]

>>64270550
Oh, shit... did son of the fly beat /fbk/?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64271822
Shrunken troubles 2...

[Anonymous No.]

>>64270550
>>64272397
>he really did
Fly rape is now canon

[Anonymous No.]

Anyone have any suggestions for how to get Watson up the flagpole?

[Anonymous No.]

>>64272496
Punishment from Kronii?

[Anonymous No.]

Baking, please stand by

[Anonymous No.]

Baked. Migrate when ready.
>>64273739