/vt/ jokes thread

[Anonymous No.]

A Nijisanji family owns a bakery.

One day the son puts some flour on his face and says; "Hey look dad! I'm a Hololive fan!".

Then his father became consumed with rage and beat him and says; "Be proud of who you are!".

Later that day the boy was sitting outside and a neighbour walked past and saw his black eye and asked him what had happened.

Then the boy said; "I was only a Holofan for two minutes and I already hate the Nijiniggers".

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
A holofan, a nijisanjifan and a vshojofan goes to a bar.
The bartender says that she will give them free drinks if they watch her and her boyfriend having sex.
Holofan says "No." and leave.
Nijisanjifan upset with holofan's reply and chase him.
Vshojofan says "Pog! Actually, i'm willing to pay for that!".

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
KEK

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
*KNOCK KNOCK*

Who's there?

"Kizuna AI"

Who?

"DO YOUR REPS, NEWFAG!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>61283166
But nijisanjifans are the ones that pay for voicepacks with vtubers cucking them not vshojofans, this is outdated

[Anonymous No.]

Ernest Hemingway was asked to write a sad short story using as few words as possible, this was what he wrote:

Girls-only nijien collab.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61284765
Ok i laughed more than i should for this one

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
*KNOCK KNOCK*

Who's there?

Not gura

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
A numberfag, a pippafag and a bvtmfag walks into a bar
The bartender says: "Oh hello Mr. Rodriguez!"

[Anonymous No.]

Even though gura hasn't streamed in quite a while chumbuds are totally not shitting up the entire board. /badum tss

[Anonymous No.]

Man, /vt/ jokes aren't that bad.
My favorite was >>61284765 though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
Towa walks into a bar

she starts twirling her banana

[Anonymous No.]

Im posting in the reddit thread look at me

[Anonymous No.]

>>61287632
nice joke

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
3 little pigs came to the deep forest and decided to build their own house without knowing there is a big bad wolf in that area.
the youngest pig built his house using hays and the middle one is using sticks, the wolf destroyed both easily.
both of them ran away to the oldest pig house and the wolf stopped chasing them upon seeing the house, he just standing there with weird expression on his face. confused.... or rather disgusted?
the little pigs reported this to their older brother and asked about the material he used to build the house.
the older brother simply replied "youtube play buttons"

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
based

[Anonymous No.]

>>61282794
What does the flour mean?

[Anonymous No.]

>>61288440
Based riku.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61288866
being white

[Anonymous No.]

A deadbeat is buying a body pillow with Mori on it.
The cashier says, "Wow, you must be single."
The deadbeat gets defensive, "You assumed that because I'm buying a body pillow?"
The cashier replies, "No, because you're ugly."

[Anonymous No.]

"I love my NijiEN family!"

[Anonymous No.]

How many dramafags does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3. One to shitpost in the catalogue about who screwed the lightbulb, one to shitpost in generals about who screwed the lightbulb, and one to make a discord to organize the other two's shitposting.
Of course the lightbulb never got screwed in the first place though, because dramafags don't screw, they only seethe and shitpost when they think others do.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61284015
kek

[Anonymous No.]

A chicken, a detective, and a piece of shit walk into a bar. The bartender opens his slimy mouth and asks them, "So what it'll be?"

The chicken steps forward first, all self-righteous and pragmatic in her demeanor. With a strong slam on the table she lets out an air of indescribably charisma and valiantly says: "I'll have a bottle of numbers." Everybody in the bar claps

Before the detective could speak, the piece of shit with barely any sense of care for Hololive comes out and wails loudly: "We'll have a heavy dose of shitty rap! Hell! Get it for every lovely lady here as well and put it on my tab!" The ladies swoon at her declaration as the piece of shit stand firmly as the bar's star.

The detective quietly sneaks out wanting none of that. Stepping out of the front door, she feels something waddling on her head. Grabbing the source of curiosity she realizes that a baby shark have sneakily landed on her head. It seem to like her. Not minding the company, she enters an alleyway and ventures forth towards even more questionably seedier establishments.

What was the punchline? The punchline is that no one remembers Ina.

[Anonymous No.]

You're watching the world's most popular virtual soap opera, Nijisanji English.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61284765
KEK

[Anonymous No.]

>>61292004
Vox's Chinese girlfriend finds out that he's two-timing on her with Reimu when Reimu interrupts their date. When forced to choose, Vox chooses Reimu over her, she slaps Vox and breaks up with him.

[Anonymous No.]

A man walks past a tombstone. It reads, 'Here lies Gawr Gura. A streamer and an idol.' The man is bemused, "They have three people buried in one grave?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>61290006
Not really funny but still a pretty cool story bro and very accurate

[Anonymous No.]

>>61292446
>>61292004
I think you meant telenovela

[Anonymous No.]

Kiara asked me what did I like the most about her blowjob. Apparently, 'two minutes of peace and quiet' was the wrong answer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>61292917
ok, this one was funny

[Anonymous No.]

Gura walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and... cola."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender.
The Gura shrugged. "Tummy hort"