/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

[Unicorn's Perspective No.]

I just feel the need to vent about hololive and tempus and all that stuff. Sometimes its nice to scream into the void about things, even if nobody listens.
Things just feel different now that Tempus is here. I can't say in a directly bad way, but in a way that makes me feel uneasy inside. I've been watching holoen (membered Ame and Fauna) for over a year each) but still watch occasional streams from most of the talents. Before I get into this, I don't hate any of the talets. Tempus seem like nice dudes and they haven't done anything to spite me. The girls are good, and I don't blame them for collabing with the guys, even if I don't like it. In my eyes even if the dudes never appeared they still would have given the opportunity.
But man, I was a bit of a fool. I guess I was a unicorn without knowing the term before I came to over a year ago. A lot of my feelings with this revolve around Ame, as she was my oshi. I know this is pathetic, but she really did give me hope in life. Not to pity party, but shit kinda sucks right now. I live in the middle of nowhere, with literally no friends near me or ways to make them, I never got my driver's license due to a traumatic experience so I can't go anywhere, and all my friends live states away. I've been depressed and alone for years. When a friend showed me hololive and I found Amelia it was like a spark was lit inside. Though her and her struggles I saw just a bit of myself. And this is sad but in my head I referred to her as my girlfriend. I never send cringe superchats or comments, I kept it entirely to myself, my little delusion to distract myself from crippling loneliness. Knowing that she would stream the next day gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and listening to her voice while working and doing schoolwork was calming, and seeing her journey was inspiring. I started working out, eating better, doing my reps, all for my love to this woman who doesn't even know I exist. It was my stupid little fantasy that got me to the next day. When she expressed more of her interest in fish and aquariums I was delighted, as I have the same hobby. Nobody else in my life ever seemed to give a shit about fish tanks and silly little creatures, but this anime girl over the internet did, and I felt like I really found somebody who 'got me' as stupid as it sounds. I got the merch, showed up to literally every stream for over a year, and loved every second of it. Through the burnout arc, moving, everything.
Then Tempus arrived. I like the new dudes, but I knew fate was sealed. After Sana’s graduation stream, the sadness started to creep back in. Then the collabs started happening, and with each weak the dread grew. The ‘improve yourself’ thing that this board loves to meme really did kinda hurt me. I was mad about male collabs and I’m going to be honest with the reasoning. Its 100% jeliousy. It’s a natural human emotion. This woman who in my little headspace fantasy was my girlfriend, my reason for getting up in the morning and dealing with this shit life, told me to improve myself instead of being upset at her collabs. All the while I was improving myself because I loved her. It felt like my world was crumbling apart. Then the DBD collab happened and Kronii imploded, and I saw her fanbases reaction, and I knew what fate was before me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
This is going to be very pathetic, and I know that. But this is how I feel. The fact that I will never be as close to Ame as Tempus does, fills me with envy and anger. Not at Ame or Tempus, but at the situation itself. The fact that they talk behind the scenes, play games together, have fun banter, and are closer than I ever will be to her crushed me inside. I know people will say “but she loves Shien” but after 2 years and no collab or anything besides really a twitter thread over his 3D debut, I waved it to the side.
I’ve unmembered, and it expires at the end of the week. I haven’t watched any of her streams after the worms collab, and even though I agree that was nothing reasonably be upset over, I was defeated inside. I’ve unsubscribed and have tried to resist the urge to watch her streams, and I have popped in once or twice but it leaves me with a feeling of weakness, like a dog crawling back to its master with its tail between its legs. And I hated it.
I feel so stupid. My little fantasy in my head has this much power over me. It made me care about life and want to improve, but it also cast me back into the abyss of loneliness. I know it was stupid to put the foundation of my mental health on an imaginary relationship with a woman whom I will never meet, but It was better than nothing. And now that it’s gone I don’t want to feel like I did before, but the light of my life is gone.
Its not so simple to “find another Oshi” as so many anons like to claim. Everything that was going well in my life I did for her, and now that that foundation has crumbled I’m back at step 1. I’ve been sleeping in intentionally to try and sleep though her streams so I won’t be tempted to watch, I haven’t had the energy to show up to class or talk with my few friends online. I just feel weak, stupid, and empty. I’ve tried watching kawaii, and Terumi, and more Fauna, but nothing feels the same. When GFE is pandered it feels forces and unnatural. Like so fake its disgusting. But Ame felt organic and loving, and now its gone.
If I had to compare these feelings, it would be to to that of being cheated on in a relationship. I know that’s irrational, but feelings don’t follow logic. It hurts, and I want to go back but inside my heart things won’t be the same when Tempus is closer than I will ever be and It just breaks my heart. I know its pathetic and sad, but if I wasn’t pathetic and sad before I would never have had over a year of feeling loved and what even if imaginary having somebody care about you feels like. Now when I look at the merch I got, I just feel faded memories and sadness.
So I’m out. My consumption of vtuber content has drastically reduced since last week. I’ve only really been watching Fauna and Mumei. Even then my will to watch them has gone down. It’s been nice anons. I’ll see you tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
>>33770084
Inb4 >>Reddit spacing" I typed it on notepad first and to be frank I don't give a shit.

[Anonymous No.]

Do reps and watch HoloJP

[Anonymous No.]

Mucho texto, take your meds

[Anonymous No.]

If this ain't bait and you legitimately have it this bad you should just go bro, don't even look back

[Anonymous No.]

take your meds

[Anonymous No.]

you need God. Ittakullah

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770403
It's not bait. This is the only place to air my feelings into the void without being even more socially outcast. I need to find something else to do in life.

[Anonymous No.]

The arrogance and perpetual possessiveness of Teamates coming back to haunt them has been unspeakably rewarding.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770602
i feel the same dont worry

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770602
Something was gonna break eventually bro, your happiness depending on a woman or anyone else is always a bad idea, I hope you recover

[Anonymous No.]

teakeks lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770806
this, also take a break from hololive tho

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770602
Well Ame would probably encourage you to finish school for one.
Also, the first break-up is almost always the hardest, I'm sure you can find another chuuba to give you that motivation.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
...maybe try going to vesper's psychiatry ward for only 5 simoleons

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
>>33770084
Thanks for the feedback lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
Like that another anon said, the first break-up is always the hardest. Ame was my first actual oshi and I dropped her the second she collabed with Tempus. I could cope with the Altare duet, but actual collars were my breaking point. I miss her, and I’ll never forget the good times, but all (You) can do is fill your time with other things you enjoy and find a new oshi if you still have interest in chuubas. I recommend an indie corpo that explicitly bans male collabs, or one of the JP Holos that does not collab with men. Any HoloEN girl, even the ones that are currently “safe,” will always have a chance to betray you. The worst thing about all this for me is that now I have an Ame pillow staring at me all day that makes me feel nothing but sadness, when before it’d bring me joy. I only hope you never bought her birthday merch. Godspeed anonchama

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
watch korone and watame thats all you need for motivation...even if you are eop you can watch their clips...they are genuinely good souls and even if they are getting their backs blown out behind the scenes they would never let that shit come to the stream. I recommend those 2 to anyone

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
Didn't read, but take care bro or kill yourself

[Anonymous No.]

>>33771541
I got the birthday merch, made a whole spot on my shelf for it. But yeah, I think after this thread dies I'm going to try and step back from vtubers as a whole for a week or so. Maybe some other chubba will capture my heart, maybe not. Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.]

I ain't reading all that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33771567
>Watame
LMAO

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
>>33770084
>>33770140

[Anonymous No.]

>>33771871
i mean purely from a motivational stand point and her being a pleasent human being and good with her audience shes great...if you are obsessed with your oshi being single then yea shes a hard pass.

[Anonymous No.]

didnt read lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
You'll get over it but you will probably feel like shit for some weeks. It's how i was in my first break up.
But once time passes you won't even care for it

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
What a story

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
This isnt discord or reddit. Fuck off

[Anonymous No.]

Just watch k-on nigger, old hololive is gone and its not coming back.

[Anonymous No.]

Cool blog. I can watch Ame and Fauna without any issues.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770084
>>33770053
tl;dr please

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
Too long, didnt read. Happy for you, or just get the rope if its too much, idk

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
not reading this

[Anonymous No.]

>>33779461
Of course discord trannies are the ones behind this homobegging faggotry

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770316
please listen to this anon

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
As others have already mentioned, it's going to be a difficult time after letting go. But give yourself some time away from Hololive and you'll feel better. And if not, well, I know you said that it's not that easy to move to a new oshi, but it's still worth a shot. There are plenty of other members who bring the same feeling to their viewers. They just need a chance. Good luck, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33779461
who the fuck are these subhumans and why are they paying each other to troll

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770053
christ anon I'm just fucking lurking from another board and this shit crushed me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>33770084
I feel you bro.