/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

[Anonymous No.]

You are selected by a mysterious godly being to join holostars EN as the next member.
Magically you are given fluency in japanese and indonesian, actual charisma and a personality most would find likable and entertaining and will likely be given some slack by Management.

You are given one job, Make /vt/ seethe and cope as much as possible.

If you get fired it will count as a failure.
If you succeed to this mysterious beings standards, you will be given a wish to do what ever you want.

What do you do in order to succeed

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
collab with Gura
that's all it takes

[Anonymous No.]

I organize a massive homo offcollab and suicide bomb myself with all of them
Homobeggar invaders gonna seethe forever

[Anonymous No.]

I'm black

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751297
Why?

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
The same thing Altare did with Kronii.
Simple banter that only a man could do. Women either seethe or feel closer to you if your banter is good enough. Same deal for Kronii, the bantz was just too good and now she's swooning.

[Anonymous No.]

Dont stream

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751297
You become white this instant young man!

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751112
Beyond fucking based. This board has been filled with Twittertrannies anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
Astrology and tarot streams
Collab with any member of Hololive English at all
Let on that I don't know much about idols or anime
Feign complete ignorance of anything HoloPro
Suggest that the audience should go outside more often, maybe meet a nice girl. or boy; you're valid too :)

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
Do what Vox does, pander to Chink fujos. Then when I gather my own army of mentally ill chinkoids, orchestrate a Taiwan related yab that will send bot spamming schizos after all EN girls and once and for all destroy that side of hololive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
I will start by fostering a community of yumes, never collab with women, sell myself as a guy who will never do a mixed gender collab. While I'm at it I'll encourage behind the scenes one of my female senpai to do so as well. Maybe Gura or Fauna. Meanwhile I will shitpost in /vt/ making men feel more secure, they will call me based for never collabing with their oshi, and dropping little nuggets of information that might be seen as me beung a /here/ chuuba, while never confirming.
Then suddenly, when anniversary comes for my senpai who has been doing gfe this whole time I'll drop the bfe façade and we will do a mini karaoke collab, only romantic songs. No warning, no nothing. The yumes and the unicorn will seethe so bad they'll break contaiment and will flood my chat with hatefull akasupas, to which I will respond by ignoring them at first. Eventually I will give the worst advice to parasocials possible, something that'll make the seethe in unhealthy amounts, maybe drop in some woke shit there too. To finish it off my statement will never give any closure, in order to maximize the seethium levels in this board for months to come.

[Anonymous No.]

Off collab with a girl.
I'm thinking Marine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751379
>>32751529
See its working already

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751779
I'm not angry, I genuinely just want to know why you are black.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751705(me)
Forgot to clarify, the karaoke will be a surprise offcollab, like Ame being in Gura's birthday.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751832
I get to be racist and applauded on twitter

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751832
Imagine having a race.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
Just bring up American politics and mention trans rights and you're gold, don't even need to collab with girls. If management fires you they're the bigots

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
Impossible, the hate would all be channeled at Omega, for being a fuck-up for hiring you.
>Also, StarsEN gen2 all need to be Axel's and not Twitch orbirter/e-celebs like Magni and Regis.

[Anonymous No.]

"Hello boys, girls, and all the non-binary pals"
That's all I need to say. Bonus points if I say it in a mixed gender collab and get the women to say it too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
First, I castrate myself voluntarily to prevent all possiblity of sexual desire, and start taking steroids to increase my physical capabilities for protection.
I develop a polite professional relationship with all the EN girls behind the scenes - purely transactional, I offer to help with modding chats, stream resources, and tech support to ingratiate myself without viewers knowing.

I cultivate an extremely strong fanbase - stream daily, only play buff games, collab whore like crazy to become the standout. Using my fanbase size and popularity, I use this as justification to management to rush my 3D. But, I cannot go to Japan - what else to do?

I will off collab with Amelia Watson in her 3D studio without a hint of flirting, to make sure that /vt/ thinks I am balls deep in her pussy when I'm merely using her accomplishments to glorify myself. This will incite massive calls for graduation from unicornfags, who I will promptly ignore, then organize a collab with Moist Critical purposefully excluding Mori, and then retire of my own volition.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
>What do you do in order to succeed
Exist

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
buy pekora a second monkey

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
say I watch vshojo and nijisanjien in my debut and then reply to ren on twitter

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
I would collab with my JP holostar senpai and deny any female collab requests from mori, bae and ollie

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751112
Holy BASED I KNEEL

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
@ every female holomem on twitter but ignore those who reply. Continue tagging those who ignore me in future tweets

[Anonymous No.]

>>32753480
Axel is already doing that.

[Anonymous No.]

Put in honest work and make great content for 5 years, after that retire and get a job in a managerial position. The following years I would spend buttering up other managers, higher ups and yagoo himself until he finally retires and take over the company. I would fire sora, a-chan, shinove and fubuki along with every manager currently assigned to any talents and replace them with known sex offenders. Talents with <3k live viewers would be terminated with their channels wiped. No talents would be allowed a public retirement, they would be quietly fired and replaced by someone else as the new VA for the character. I would establish company mandated male-female ships and ban all forms of same-gender collabs. Any new talents hired will be specifically picked for their political opinion whatever may that be. Lift the restriction on discussing politics on-stream. Remove weekly stream requirements but force streams when a talents mental health is in bad condition so people will watch them break down live. Force the talents to move to twitch, release merch of myself, make hololive NFTs and finally pander to the chink market yet again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
Just call that mysterious being Omega

[Anonymous No.]

>>32753547
>>32751600
>>32751112
>Posting with a gigachad image because you know your post won't stand on it's own
>Replying to yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32756795
The SEETHE begins!

[Anonymous No.]

>>32751112

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757115
>Editing images.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757158
>.
Holy seethe

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757196
>Continuing to reply.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32756795
>>32757158
I like how homobeggars can't accept that there is people who doesn't like their fags, especially with the numbers they pull

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757484
>THEY ALL MUST BE THE SAME GUY THEY HAVE TO BE!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757558
Yes that is indeed what a gigachad would say.

[Anonymous No.]

>>32757484
>there is people who doesn't
ESL-kun...

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
exist

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
do whatever it takes to get the girls talking about me

[Anonymous No.]

>>32750930
I do nothing, get fired, and keep the abilities that have been magically gifted to me and use them for my real passion, opening a flower shop in japan.