/wg/ - Writing General - Ojou Edition

[Anonymous No.]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction, eh?
Yes.
Previous thread:>>26117233

[Anonymous No.]

Story anchor.
Post 'em if you got 'em!

[Anonymous No.]

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

[Anonymous No.]

Story recap! There... were four stories posted in the last thread.

Cold nights of winter, with you: Tags: Mio, NSFW, impregnation:>>26168873

my girlfriend polka: Tags: Polka, Fat, (You):>>26226196

Life with a lion isn't easy y'know? Chapter 3: Tags: Botan, Vanilla:>>26253273

Paradise Regained: Tags: NSFW, Kurokami, Scat, Oyakodon:>>26260420

[Anonymous No.]

Prompt recap! Last thread had a lot of new prompts. Here they are in case you missed them:

Watame spends a heartwarming day hanging out with Haachama, eats her cooking, and then dies.:>>26120047

A fic about Ayame getting corrupted and becoming rrat!Ayame.:>>26137961

Towa’s superiors are getting sick of her continued failure to do anything evil and decide to pair her up with (You), a newly-damned soul and certified piece of shit, to teach her how to be an asshole in exchange for a reprieve from eternal torture. Fail, and she gets wiped from existence. And more importantly, it’s back to the fire and brimstone for you.:>>26138330

I completely forgot about this incredibly hot prompt. Anybody care to take a stab at it?:>>26139406

This gyaru mio idea from a few months ago onegai.:>>26148036

want to see a story about botan with a massive cock fucking watame while she holds her over an open flame and cooks her while she fucks and eats her while she comes and then watame respawns and sees it and is like bruh:>>26172035

Ayame's lack of streaming has caused her genmates to worry about her and they decide to message her on discord, scheduling a visit to her house to discuss her issues:>>26178014

(You) are the innocent, cheerful, affectionate shota brother of a loving chuuba nee-san who dotes on you. You feel a little concern about her staring at you a lot and breathing funny when you sit on her lap but it’s okay because she says she’s healthy and loves you and that’s what matters.:>>26199410

A spoilt chuuba who has always been granted whatever she desires due to having a rich father falls for you, even though you barely know who she is:>>26199462

orientation play fic about luna grooming subaru into becomeing a lesbian.:>>26201973

In case nobody knows what this is about:>>26212640

Polla taking your first time>>26232316

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266416
You missed the Borderlands prompt. Who am I kidding, I'm replying to a bot.

[Anonymous No.]

Rise

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
A fic about Aqua getting kidnapped and brainwashed into becoming the ultimate weapon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266554
Try putting something devious in the prompt, if it's a bot
Like a piece of JavaScript, or straight up ;DROP TABLE

[Anonymous No.]

>>26271894
Anon I'm reasonably certain it's just an idiot that grabs the first paragraph from the last thread rather than a bot given that it takes it a few minutes to post the recaps rather than having it be in a minuteish.

[Anonymous No.]

one year later and I still miss coco
at least we have the stories

[Anonymous No.]

>>26253273
good job, Italianon. The sudden change of perspective took me out for a second, but that could be on me.
It felt like your pacing got a lot better and the actions and thoughts feel more conclusive than before. You did a lot better job, focusing on the relevant parts of the narrative this time, too.
Your grammar and punctuation is still a bit rough around the edges, but kudos to anyone writing a story in their non-native tongue in the first place.
You really don't have to be so sparse with starting new paragraphs, though.
I'll give you an example. In the 4th paragraph, you recap the happenings in the diner. The first 3 sentences all describe who arrives when, so they fit together.
In the 4th sentence, Botan begins to reflect on her feelings - THAT would be a good spot to start a new paragraph, as it is the beginning of a "new though" - a new perspective of sorts.
Besides that... well, Botan getting so emotional over your absence after knowing you for 2 days might be a bit over the top, but that's romance, I guess.
Anyways, looking forward to the next chapter!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26273339
What's your favorite fic starring Coco?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26275962
probably 'HORN-Y!'
I also like all the series works she has a prominent role in, though none of them really "star" her

[Anonymous No.]

>>26260420

damn this motherfuckers actually delivered. Ok you win, never bet against him again

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>26279778
Hey, Suisei! As the poster child for /ringo/, what were your thoughts on Anon's latest opus, Paradise Regained?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26279836

[Anonymous No.]

>>26280398
N-naruhodo... kore ha hontou ni sugoi desu ne.

[Anonymous No.]

Catalog has hit a new low, Nijisanji old nudes that count as CP. I should stop browsing the catalog

[Anonymous No.]

>>26280998
You should stop believing angry seaniggers, too. Not once was it proved that the girl was linked to Pomu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281112
Anon...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281147
Oh, sorry. SEAfriends. Happy now? Your little tightie-whities all in a twist?

[Anonymous No.]

Can you guys please not bring that in here?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281356
It's an all out war, there's likely to be a Discord raid here too

[Anonymous No.]

>>26135739
The Anal artisan of the Amazon

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281450
the ship has sailed, anon. try again next time someone brings him up

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281147
>voices sound different
>No Pomu doxx for a year, suddenly ‘emerges’ at a convenient time when nudes on /b/ are posted
>Pomu is a hag, yet the pictures are of a young girl
??? What are you trying to push?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281450
EXQUISITE!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26260007
Post it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26282813
Hmmm....

Nah.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26282813
Well, I wasn't going to, but this >>26282986 really effectively baited me for some reason, so here you go
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTuyZKChzuGG7dQi7i5OxMQr-LYdaEfX5F63VrpQkR0kK-8z4YvCfKi9FTzWmQbRkcL_fDw-UMr5TfV/pub

[Anonymous No.]

>>26277448
And I'm even writing the fluffy follow up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283583
well that's kind of hot

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283583
FINISH IT YOU COYOTEFUCKER

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283770
Is Kuro going to cry into Fubuki's arms or has she got her own boyfriend too?

You know what'd be a really fluffy follow-up? An alternate ending or canon where Kuro grabs Anon's hand as he leaves and yells, "Anon, wait! I... I think I'm actually into this. Please eat my shit now and forevermore."

Then they get married and live happily ever after, although Fubuki declined to attend the wedding.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283770
>fluffy follow up to a scat story
every time I think this place can't get any weirder

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283959
i am mildly amused at how corny this and yes i deliberately chose the adjective corny to describe a scat story

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284219
Nice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283959
It will be mostly Kuro and FBK getting over their trauma together. Fubuki is single after her boyfriend got LASIK . So it will be a generic fluff story. Though I'm tempted to write a third fic, title it Alien 3, and have it be as dogshit as possible (pun not intended).

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284517
Ahhh... Well, whatever makes you happy, man. I'm not quite sure about following up something as silly and absurd as this with another straight-faced fluff story, but it'll at least be interesting because of the bizarre experience they share.

[Anonymous No.]

Are there really no fics about premature ejaculation?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284918
there are no fics period.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284918
Nope. Everybody here's a god at sex, my dude.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26285105
And they have an infinite amount of cum.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284918
Everytime a ejaculation happens in 3 paragraphs, i just imagine it was premature cause fucking hell some of these sex scenes are short

[Anonymous No.]

Ayame is the peak of elegance

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283583
Well this is a hot fucking outline. Hope you write it because goddamn.
...
I hope this doesn't start a new era of pretending to be an author to bait them into giving info about what they've been doing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26273882
I'll write the next chapter with my normal style but seeing that some anons actually liked this new approach I may use it again. The 4th chapter is gonna be really important story whise so I'll try to make it as interesting as possible but to be fair, I do quite like writing simple interactions between Botan and Anon such as having breakfast, talking and similar so there's gonna be some of them for sure.

>but that's romance, I guess.
Ngl I may be abusing the loneliness thing a bit too much to justify some actions

[Anonymous No.]

Wait if Paradise Lost now has two sequels... does this mean it counts as a series now?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283583
Ending would be a touch extreme for my tastes, I wouldn't want to hurt this cute notcat notfox

4PH4G Captcha lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>26287041
No.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284918
What kind of fic would you even want out of something centered around premature ejaculation?
Femdom? NTR? Abusive Chuuba?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266416
>I completely forgot about this incredibly hot prompt. Anybody care to take a stab at it? :>>26139406
I like that prompt, I will try to write something for it with an "happy" ending

[Anonymous No.]

>>26288721
Not him but it's a great pairing with NTR/S, really hammers in the humiliation/inferiority without the girl even having to act outright cruel. It's just your own failing

[Anonymous No.]

>>26288721
I kind of just want a fic where you blow it super early and the chuuba can't help but laugh at you even though she doesn't want to

[Anonymous No.]

>>26288721
>>26290031
Seems like a fic perfect for someone like Ayame.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26289534
>>26290031
Strangely enough these reminded me of this abuse fic

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200

A Predator's Touch (Prologue)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRJbgO_3N0fMOHQGh5WzByPFB4AWE_8dv25e-3HqICxRhJhK6SG-SRs9_TddZmwTLLNdJ___AAZy-eR/pub

Tags: Koyori, Botan, SFW, Vanilla

My first fic so I wanted to keep it short for the time being. Advice appreciated.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26292814
better than my first fic, that is for sure. The only criticism I can give are the couple of long paragraphs in there, you could trim them down a bit. The rest is good

[Anonymous No.]

>>26292814
It was cute, well done.

[Anonymous No.]

I wanted to post a hot image to bump, but I don't really feel like bumping...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26297369
I'll do it in your stead.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26297478
Not hot, that's a boy

[Anonymous No.]

>>26297905
Don't talk to me faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26294418

Thanks! I tried adding some more detail to slow down the pace of the story as I felt it was moving too fast, but I guess I forgot to break apart some of the paragraphs. I'll fix that for next time.

>>26294624
Thank you! It feels weird to receive praise for my writing, considering I never did any outside of academics.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26281450
The rear-end reamer of Rio.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26298046
Fuck you. This is what peak female form is like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26298145
The debaucherous dung devourer of Deli.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26292814
This looks really promising, anon. Not much I can say about the plot since it's just the prologue, but it reads very well.
I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment. Although being carried by women is no fetish of mine.

[Anonymous No.]

I feel like I can't express myself correctly when writing and that lowers the quality of my fics a lot. Using more complex words would be a solution but I like keeping my vocabulary as simple as possible, so that wouldn't work for me. Give me a hand Anons

[Anonymous No.]

>>26299792
Appreciated!
Me neither, Botan is an exception.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26301046
What's stopping you from expressing yourself exactly?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26301276
I wouldn't know how to answer, when writing I try to give my words as much meaning as possible but when I finish and read it, it all feels like a bunch of random words with no particular meaning that don't even fit together
being from Argentina and having Spanish as my native language doesn't help either

[Anonymous No.]

>>26301979
Are you writing this way because you want to or because you feel like you have to?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26302099
I'm writing this way because I can't do any better. Again, not being a native English speaker has to do a lot with this qnd there has to be anot solution more than "study more vocabulary lol"

[Anonymous No.]

>>26302637
Anon I think you need to give us an example here because it's difficult to actually picture this without seeing some of your text.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26301979
also south american here

Just read and learn more phrases, if you run out of words just use your native language and then find an alternative to that in english. Also do multiple rewrites, you may get inspiration for more words after some time have passed

[Anonymous No.]

>>26301046
>>26301979
Maybe studying the properties of words/language might help you a little? For example, what do you mean by "give my words as much meaning as possible"? Relying too much on connotation with too little denotation, or the other way around? Being too metaphorical? Too much implicature?
What you describe sounds like Spanish conceptismo of Francisco de Quevedo and Baltasar Gracián, which I like a lot and try to imitate sometimes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26283583
Damn, that's hot. Not big on the WG or beating at the end, but that's personal taste, not a slight on your writing skill.

Maybe have some more diary segments throughout the 3rd person segments? Could probably use one at the very beginning to really show how she's already changing in the first one. Also, maybe call it an "experiment log" or "research log" instead of a diary?

Sorry if I'm annoying. This is really good, though.

>>26301046
Maybe a thesaurus will help?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26303169
I can't think about any example but let's just say that if you read my fics and then literally any other, you'd think mines were written by a 7yo because of its lack of complex expressions and the simplicity of the words
>>26303806
I've tried that before and it actually works pretty well but I feel like if I can't do it by myself I'm doing something wrong
>>26304023
>Relying too much on connotation with too little denotation, or the other way around?
The other way around. I just use words with clear meanings because if I try to use any other type of word the result ends up with no meaning at all, as if it was just a bunch of words that sound good but have different meanings
>Being too metaphorical?
It's actually the lack of metaphors what makes the final product bad

[Anonymous No.]

>>26304864
It sounds like you are trying to do contradictory things at once: you want realism and conceptism at the same time. I do not know how you would do that without alternating styles.

Have you tried letting it be and rereading after a while? Often we get different impressions from our writings after some time.

Also, learning logic might help you to structure your thinking and thence your language. I can give you recommendations, if you want.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26304864
>but I feel like if I can't do it by myself I'm doing something wrong

don't feel, just fucking write and you'll pull it off pelotudo

[Anonymous No.]

>>26287041
It's gonna have a third, too.
That's a SERIES, baby! YEAH!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26304864
NTA, but I'm pretty sure outside of generic advice and platitudes there really isn't much more that can be given to help you without actually seeing examples of your work.

[Anonymous No.]

Porn up

[Anonymous No.]

>>26284918
Funny you should mention this, I’m working on one right now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26311761
Who's the lucky chuuba having a premature ejaculation?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26314449
Fuck, I hate hating sex and the girl cumming before I even put it in. So annoying

[Anonymous No.]

>>26317360
I was implying a Futa, but that sounds fun as well.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26314449
No no, (You) are gonna cum too soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26318693
The she fucks you in the ass to show you how it's really done right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26319053
> you cum while she's just rubbing her cock against yours
> she laughs, tells you to turn around
> puts it in, both of you immediately blow
Cute...?

[Anonymous No.]

Is it unnatural to want to cum in her pits but not to cum in her?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200
This
>>26277727
>>26317884

[Anonymous No.]

>>26320567
I'm always a fan of some good old Ui raping, but this is really low-quality.

[Anonymous No.]

I keep trying to write a story but all I end up writing is a stream of racial and sexist slurs

[Anonymous No.]

>>26321704
Raphael Ambrosius Costeau-kun...

[Anonymous No.]

https://twitter.com/ims_823/status/1537809481706668033?s=20&t=y_FKyZ_EPky3aMEWrE2vTg

Friend's butthole... Ready for my cream filling...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26322969
Why is her vagina stapled shut?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26323144
Cause she's got a third personality as a ryona chuuba

[Anonymous No.]

>>26323626
Fubuki Gurokami fics when?

[Anonymous No.]

Do y'all accept fics about chuubas from /asp/?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26325711
There's a bit in the archive about one, but they don't come around anymore.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26325711
Nah, we only accept Hololive chuuba fics. Sorry. You'll need some sort of /icga/ thread for that, irrelevant chuuba general archive

[Anonymous No.]

>>26325711
I'd say no since you're not a chuuba yet but then again we let dustbunny in so we can't really tell you to fuck off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26325856
Just because we were tricked once doesn't mean it's fair game to trick us again. Hitler went to power once, should we elect another dictator because he got in? Nah bro, tell them to get the fuck out

[Anonymous No.]

>>26325794
>>26325809
>>26325856
>>26325938
So that's a 'yes'...? The chuuba in question is Enatsu Shiroi. She has a 3D model and will get a L2D eventually.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26328161
Well, it seems like she's actually streamed so yeah there shouldn't be an issue

[Anonymous No.]

>>26328161
> she has nudes on her Twitter
Sheesh, that's one way to stand out. Holy fucking delicious flat titties

[Anonymous No.]

>>26328161
Is this actually a fucking vtweeter or something? She seems like a complete menhera to me

[Anonymous No.]

>>26328954
>Account suspended
nnnnoooOOOOooOOOooo...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26328954
>Suspended account
Fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

Why do I feel it's easier to write a whole new chapter from scratch than to finish editing the last 2k words left in a chapter I wrote three months ago?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26330727
Fresh ideas are better than stale ones.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26330727
Editing is supposed to be half the work, and the harder part as well.
Writing is easy but polishing the turd you shat out months ago is much harder.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26329706
>>26329545
Extremely unlucky timing, better luck next time. I blew the fatest load

[Anonymous No.]

>>26331403
pics or it didn't happen

[Anonymous No.]

>>26329706
>>26329728
you must be looking at a different accout cuz it's still up for me, and there was never any tits to begin with

[Anonymous No.]

I remember writing an cringy autistic contingency plan style thing to contain/eliminate gEN 1 members (lore wise). A shame no amount of positive reinforcement will make me find it because I have no idea where I put it.
If I were to write one for gEN it would probably take schizophrenic amounts of pseudo-religion lore schizophrenia until I was fully satisfied.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26334518
Ok thanks for sharing how much you DON'T want people to give you attention and convince you to release your fic. Absolutely don't do it guys, you heard them right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26334579
Oh noooo I would absolutely hate that oh nooooooo I am absolutely not an attentionwhore I don't thrive on attention haha..... it would be so bad for me if any of you did that

[Anonymous No.]

God dammit I knew Laplus was too good to be true, but it still hurts so much...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336050
What happened this time?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336125
She killed a guy and is currently on the run from the police.
It's always the people you least expect you know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
After being cucked by the bucket Mori and Reine find comfort (sex) in each other

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336278
I don't want say I knew it but I always had sneaking suspicion that she had a homicidal side to her. A shame really.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336125
The usual stuff

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336125
something about a discord server. it’s not as big of a deal as /vt/ is making it out to be

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336875
> pretending the knock didn't happen

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336050
/vt/ is your oshi anyways why do you care

[Anonymous No.]

ahem

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200
Girl-boss Watson and her paramilitary death squad. Ch 9
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTqnNUxlw52ob1tif7jF9NegNbETlaqkgN-DpdOFgfXS9A0nG0qsMunPTQZfNfMaXgrruxWiZqus5GC/pub
Tags: Aqua, Marine, submarine /k/, action, SFW
Sheeeesh this chapter is pretty autistic, not gonna lie. It's all submarine and all technical mumbo-jumbo, although it's as accurate as someone with no actual navy experience can make it, I wanna say. So if the action is followable and you guys can visualize the scene I'm depicting, it's good enough. I also wrote this almost five months ago, so I don't think the writing quality is as good as Kronii sex chapter three. It's a downside of writing ahead, at least I'm improving at it though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200
As the white-haired oni girl entered the room, you stretched and reclined in your chair. A year ago you had been nervous as all hell in this situation, but at this point it was more of a routine excercise - though still a very enjoyable one. Ayame stood next to you, waiting for you to kick things off as usual - you could see her nervousness in how she was avoiding eye contact, but with her slight smile she was clearly more coy than uneasy. You almost couldn't wait to get your hands on her body, but you controlled yourself to not ruin the foreplay.

"You know what you did, and why you're here?"
"Yes", she answered confidently, almost playfully. "I was cheeky to an inappropriate degree and am here to receive my punishment - a spanking, to be precise."
"Correct, you'll be getting one of those - with this." You grabbed the small wooden paddle lying next to you and showed it to her - you rarely used it, and it had never ended well for her yet.
"Oh shi- I mean, thank you for your effort in training me to become a better-behaved girl." Ayame quickly recovered from the surprise, pulled down her tiny black panties from under her dress and let them drop down to her feet.
You sat up straight and tapped your legs; your cute punishee obliged at once and lied down across your legs on her stomach, her arms and legs not quite reaching the ground with how short she was compared to you. You shoved the clothes that were in the way up her back and held them down with your arm to finally take a look at the supple oni butt you were about to make bright red - it looked as tempting as ever, and Ayame knew you loved how she wiggled it slightly.
"Any last words before we begin?" Ayame was not allowed to talk during the procedure, so these would be her final words until it was over, when she would thank you for the correction once more.
"Um...well, I definitely deserve this with how I've been. But could you maybe be...a bit merciful with my behind today? You can always destroy me however you want tonight, but I...I would like to be able to sit down later." It was never not cute how Ayame's confident tone during the foreplay would give way to, at least in part, genuinely insecure pleading once she was lying across your lap - submissive, exposed, vulnerable. But as far as you were concerned, letting her cuteness save her had worked enough times in the past.
"Hm, why would you need to sit down? You might just be tied down on the bed for the rest of the day - I'll feed you and play with you until you feel better."
"Well, I..." said Ayame, interrupting herself with giggles, "I...wanted to...to stream later today!"

It took another thirty seconds before the paddle finally came down on Ayame's ass, which she had laughed off over her own joke at that point. But you couldn't blame her, as you yourself had been unable to stop laughing at the notion that she might actually stream. Only after ten or so strokes you finally calmed down and found your rhythm. Who knew BDSM could be fun in this way also?

[Anonymous No.]

What are you working on? Ask for some advice or simply generate some buzz and excitement for your new literary masterpiece!
Bonus Question: Do you read fanfics in other fandoms or do you just read chuuba fic?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
i take it no one is working on anything

[Anonymous No.]

>>26344462
We're peak dead hours are we not?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
I dont write (sadly) and I read only chuuba fics from here as far as fanfiction goes. I dont read any fiction at all apart from Tolkien, to honest

>>26341287
Got my fap interrupted with chuckling but I cant be mad

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
I have a mighty need for someone to expand on this >>26226432, except have the maid be Aqua, and through her downright retarded antics the walls between you and Suisei start to crack, ever so slightly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26345015
Why not have you cheat on Suisei with Aqua who would show you much more affection than Suisei ever did and this will make you crave more of it eventually leading to a genuine romantic relationship with Aqua and leave Suisei jealous and seething at the thought of you cheating and having an actual relationship with someone that actually cares about you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26345015
Damn, this is a really good fucking scenario with a lot of places to take it to in terms of what kind of story you want to tell.
Really fucking wish I wasn't drowning in WIPs already.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
I wrote the introduction to a 2-parter about an /asp/ie and I'm going to write the sex from both a male and female POV.

I used to read Phineas & Ferb and a bit of Hey Arnold fanfiction, but for normal fiction, I stuck to mostly popular YA literature (Babysitters Club, Key to Rondo, Percy Jackson, and any books that had the word "diary" in the title)

>>26329545
>>26331403
All vtubers are menhera, but she's not so bad as to post her nudes on Twitter. I don't know what you saw, but I wish I did too

[Anonymous No.]

>>26339725
It's nice to see this back, but goddamn does the fucking submarine shit not fucking work. The perspective of Anon is the fucking worst perspective to use here since them not knowing subs because presumably you the author only have surface level knowledge means the entire section is just jargon spam and meaningless words with the tension not really being there. Genuinely I feel like this is a case where you could have used some narrative trickery to try and 'skip' the jargon filled dialogue since the sub shit just feels so bad to read through given that it's just fucking strings of dialogue with barely any variety to them.
Goddamn this fic has some really great highpoints but the lowpoints like these and the calli initial encounter from a few chapters back are so fucking bad. Don't get me wrong I love this fic but damn does your writing polarize me

[Anonymous No.]

>>26345171
Isn't the entire point of the cross-linked post that they LIKE the relationship they (he and Suisei) have?

[Anonymous No.]

https://youtu.be/YYJpNLWlp8U

[Anonymous No.]

>>26349934
posted accidentally before typing anything, but i remember the bugfag talking about parasitoid wasps and clicked on this video; jesus fucking christ is it horrifying

[Anonymous No.]

>>26345015
God I hope someone picks this up. I really like this prompt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26349465
Honestly the tone of the narration makes it more seem like the 'relationship' had started out less formal but due to how the two of them are it eventually became that frigid formal relationship where they hate each other but find it less troublesome than if they separate.
With presumably Maid Aqua being the one that breaks the 'balance' between them in the prompt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26350011
If worst comes to worst, you might have to give it a go yourself! Everyone starts somewhere.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26350590
Believe me I would like to but I'm also trying to practice self-restraint and finish what's already on my plate. Taking it on now would most likely subject it to WiP hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26350738
How many WIPs are you juggling that you have to practice restraint?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
Working up an appetite! I've just played three games of chess with friends and we're having a short break before moving on to monopoly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26351846
the curse has devoured his balls

[Anonymous No.]

>>26341287
Are you going to write more in the future, anon? I'm curious to "how" cheeky Ayame has been to warrant the spank and whether she'll keep pushing her boundaries to receive more of it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26351846
have you even seen HCanon's to-do list? it's insane

[Anonymous No.]

>>26339725
Oohhh, the cliffhanger. I was just beginning to wonder what had happened to this series, glad to see it back. I have to echo the other anon’s statements in that the submarine stuff felt a little unnecessary to the plot, I feel like it could have been covered with half the amount of words, or even less. It’s just a lot of reading that I know nothing about, and while small amounts like that time when they were lowering themselves from the helicopter into the submarine were good, this is a bit much. Still though, your overall writing is getting better, I hope we see more Amelia soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
After getting laughed out of the office by her peers one too many times, Aqua reveals that she was, in fact, merely pretending to be retarded this whole time when she reverse pranks everyone who was mean to her with a variety of elaborately constructed traps

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
Gura having fun in Disneyland alongside a Make-a-Wish kid that requested her, only for it to get awkward when Mori shows up for business in the middle of the trip.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26353743
This but instead of elaborately pranking her peers she's raped by a pack of SEAniggers

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354081
You may not be serious, but this is actually a fantastic idea.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354081
>Aqua proves her intelligence that she's hidden by cleverly manipulating her peers into getting raped.
Has potential... In like a darkly comedic way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354385
No no, she gets raped
She walks out of the holo alive office and starts thinking aboout her smartness and how smart she is, then she gets pulled into an alleyway and jumped by SEAniggers

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354646
...
Then she manipulates them into going after her friends instead with her hidden smartyness.
Genius.
The hidden smarts of an onion knows no bounds.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26334518
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37536274/chapters/93688006
This it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354862
Nono, you're not getting it, her vagina manipulates the cum from their penises after they are collectively put into her and the cum pools in her womb and forms babby seaniggers

[Anonymous No.]

>>26355044
So then she shoots them out of her vagina fully growing in flight at her friends after this and then they get raped as well?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26355177
...
yes

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354081
>>26354385
>>26354646
>>26354862
>>26355044
>>26355177
>>26355217

I don't know why this was so funny to me, but I was chuckled like a fool at this exchange.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26336278
>She killed a guy and is currently on the run from the police.
That's a billion times more interesting than a pack of SEAniggers whining about the nth boyfriend yab.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26355646
Yeah me

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354930
It's neat but a bit dry. Sort of reminds me of a very basic SCP sort of debriefing, especially Haato's ending with 'Kill her if you need to'. Feels a little out of place.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>26345015
I like this setting a lot so it'll go in my "to do maybe, probably never" pile of considerations. Few plots I've thought about so far;

Porn route: You cuck Suisei by fucking Aqua.

Fluffy route: As you outlined, Aqua becomes the catalyst for the two of you to start warming up to each other, with her retarded antics forcing the two of becoming more and more "informal" in your interactions.

Tragedy route: Suisei's blatant favoritism and the sheer contrast between how she treats Aqua compared to you slowly erodes at your stoicism until the weariness finally breaks you and you float the idea of a breakup/divorce to her... which she doesn't take well at all and everything just slides downhill for the two of you.

then I realize that the last route is basically Omelas but with Suisei

[Anonymous No.]

>>26352126
It was a humourous BDSM scenario that came to mind spontaneously and inspired me to write my first vtuber fanfic here. I might also write similar but disconnected scenarios with other vtubers in the future, I'm more of a holo DD than a Nakirigumi.
On the other hand, there's something to depicting Ayame kind of like /vt/ rrats make her out to be, but not as bad, and from a dom bf perspective. I'll see what comes to mind, maybe I'll bring in other chuubas and keep Ayame or just do more with her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
I'm 12k words in on my fluff piece. Wanted to to get it done this week, but that probably won't happen due to family circumstances.

I read fics from other fandoms as well - mostly fluffy smut and mostly anime oriented. Technically, it's what got me interested in chuuba pieces in the first place.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26359429
Golden route: Harem end

What in God's name route: Aqua steals Suisei from (you)

[Anonymous No.]

>>26359463
As long as its something you enjoy writing anon, that's all that matters in the end. I just really enjoyed reading it and it would be good to enjoy seeing other chuubas getting spanked just like what you did with Ayame.
I'm not really good with offering criticism but I just wanted to say again that I enjoyed reading it. I'll look forward to what other scenarios you have planned out in the future.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>26362485
Least horny Vtuber

[Anonymous No.]

>>26354930
Nope, not that one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26359429
Honestly boneless Suisei Omelas sounds fun especially given the scenario has Aqua to act as the wildcard to keep it from going down the already trodden down path.

[Anonymous No.]

haglove and hagsex soon to be posted.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26348064
>>26352469
Yeah, can't really say otherwise. I could've probably scrapped this chapter, but I already wrote it and didn't want to trash all of it. It sometimes feel like my need to sprug out about /k/ stuff impacts the quality of my story, and I don't know how to remedy that since I started writing because i want to write about /k/. I'm also not sure if I'll be able to finish this series, but I want to finish the current arc at least.
Also, so you guys want to see more of this series or Your Time is Gonna 'Come'? Because that story is almost finished, and /wg/ always has the horny

[Anonymous No.]

>>26362440
Thank you for the nice words! I was worried I'd hear little because it's just a short scenario written by someone inexperienced, but compliments and/or constructive feedback are a great encouragement to keep writing and posting. I'm prone to just keeping BDSM scenes like that in my head and jacking off to them until I move on to others and they fade away.
If you like spanking that's good, there's very likely to be more of it. I'll always remember the few times I actually got to spank a girl fondly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200

Hello again gentlemen. After a long time off writing (and /vt/ in general) I came back to bring you the fourth chapter of to be 17 again.

This semester was heavy in uni, but as I have my last few tests and have plenty of time before my exam season, I decided to cool off by writing this chapter.

I'd say there's two or three more before the fic finishes, so I hope I can bring the next one in under 10 years.

Tags: Ookami Mio, NSFW, Netori, Haglove, fluff, public sex.

https://rentry.org/mrx2i

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
I'm glad this is continuing, this chapter was nice. I don't know how funny Marriage Expert Korone was meant to be, but it made me laugh.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26371737
MOOOOOOT

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
uwaaaaaaaaa! I MUST save this lovely hag from her loveless marriage!
Thanks anon, I’ve been looking forward to this for ages. Glad to see you’re still around!
I absolutely loved the chapter besides anon wearing socks during sex - Mio was great and authentic and smoking Korone got a chuckle out of me. Only gripe I have is that the inner conflict in Mio seems to… drag a bit? Could just be me, but it feels like we already explored that side of her feelings before…
Anyways, hope to read from you again soon!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26371737
It was meant to be dumb.
>>26372697
The inner conflict thing I'd say is about to resolve. She has accepted her feelings, but still has a few things to wage about how to go about it, my plan was that she'd go through with it, but needs a way to.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26368701
me personally, i'm more invested in seeing what the owl doing in that cliffhanger

[Anonymous No.]

>>26356083
Not my writing, but I don't disagree.

>>26368701
Maybe have an appendix where you go into the /k/ stuff?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26368701
Genuinely, Your time is gonna come plays more to your strengths as a writer as the focus on dialogue, character and smut are things you do really good. Meanwhile Girlboss Watson gets hamstrung on two things, questionable character interpretations and /k/ shit that tries way too hard to seem cool that it undercuts the story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26368701
I personally prefer GB Watson and would like to see it finished, but you should write what you want to write

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
Man, good shit, as expected. This is definitely becoming one of my favourite series.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
I must complain

Matsuri is Mio's senpai, not the other way around

[Anonymous No.]

>>26378327
other way around irl

[Anonymous No.]

>>26378327
Fix'd

My brain keeps making the connection "hag=senpai"

[Anonymous No.]

>>26343200
Too many goddamn things at once, as per usual

>bonus
I read other fandom fics, and one of the things I'm working on is from there as well.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
sweet

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
Goddamn I love this story, seeing it come back with such a strong chapter is so good.
Your mix of drama and smut continues to be one of your main strengths. Though I have to say that fluffy breakfast scene at the beginning was also really cute.
I really hope to see more of this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200
Who corrected who?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vROMkC2515Vwsam-_OLMbCpTMmemWd20V16knv1BhmhPumqRaoE4AYykLv3favVLXqWZX2W5muqZjlT/pub

Tags: Fallenshadow, Greentext, NSFW, Noncon, UOOOHH

[Anonymous No.]

>>26385627
Based

[Anonymous No.]

>>26385627
well this is new. I like it

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>26373105
>>26374750
Yeah, okay, I'll do a chapter of Kronii sex first. Then maybe once the current girlboss Watson arc ends I'll be able to re-orientate the direction to be less autistic.
>>26374278
Not too sure what you mean, should I have a section at the end of the chapter to explain the /k/ stuff? Don't know if people are interested hearing me repeat what they can simply Google online.
>>26375942
I won't abandon the story yet, but I do think I have a better time writing Kronii sex.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
>>26389822

[Anonymous No.]

>>26385627
oh my

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
loving consensual sex with your oshi that ends in a creampie

[Anonymous No.]

AAAAAAAAAAAA MY OLD WRITING IS SO FUCKING CRINGE

[Anonymous No.]

>>26396404
no worries even your new writing will be cringe after you uploaded it for a few minutes

[Anonymous No.]

>>26349934
>>26349998
Yeah, that's kinda gross, senpai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26349998
Insects are really good horror material.
Definitely would read a horror fic with that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26396404
Pretty much everyone writing prose can look back at their old work and go 'Yeah I could have done better than that'. Unless you're really cringing it's best to just move on, maybe see what you've learnt from rereading your old shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26351846
I have like 13 but of those 13, I have 3 that I'm trying to put more focus on. Although all that talk of self-restraint has gone out the window as I couldn't stop thinking about that prompt and I had succumb to my urges. I've already written out a rough storyboard of it and started the first draft. God help me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26398245
There's nothing to improve by reading old works. You're already better. The reason you're cringing is because you already learned more than you knew back then.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26400622
At a base level you're right but there is something to be gained if you read with a critical eye and put down notes about what you think you could have done better or what parts went wrong.
There's always something to learn even from something you did yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26385627
AT THE COPA
COPACABANA

[Anonymous No.]

>>26400140
Anon, No!
Think of your balls. They're going to explode if you keep making new wips.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26400140
Jesus fucking Christ Anon, it's like the inverse of too many cooks. You're trying to feed an entire restaurant as one guy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26292814
It's a good prologue for a first fic. I kind of agree with the other anon in that you should probably think about splitting up your paragraphs more to both improve flow and to make reading through it easier. Still you have me interested to see what you have planned next.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
Playing with Flare Sensitive Elf ears, at first she was hesitant or even annoyed and embarrassed by this but you kept playing with her ears daily until she enjoyed it, after some time her ears developed into something that she can orgasms with.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26402968
My ball have already exploded which means there are no more consequences for picking up more WiPs.

>>26403160
There just way too many prompts that appeal to me, I really can't help it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266243
Kronii having sex with a clone of herself.

[Anonymous No.]

Does anybody else, when choking the chicken to smut fics, imagine the authors as cute girls beating them off? I made the mistake of doing it once, now I'm addicted. I'm so sorry, AA.
For cumming on your twintails, that is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26406876
Please tell me a majority of those prompts you've picked up are just for short one shots to try and explore the concept.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
once, when mwanon posted his suisei smut chapter of menhera wrangler. iirc he had been sfw only before this, and i imagined how horny he must have been to write it, then imagined him ending every writing session on that chapter by stroking himself off. then turned him into a girl so it wasn't as weird
unfortunately after jerking off to the thought of that, i did feel weird about it. really weird. never did it again, but looking back on it, it's funny to me

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
>>26408059

[Anonymous No.]

>>26408553
i did say i felt weird about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451

[Anonymous No.]

>>26408036
2 series and rest are oneshots. By my standards they're not really short but I guess I can say that I like to go deep into the concepts I'm writing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26408553
Now that's a great reaction image, and wonderfully appropriate for the situation.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
I don't imagine them as girls.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
>>26408059
Always impressed with the autism I see here

[Anonymous No.]

>>26410325
Damn. You're on the next level. Who have you done it to?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
>>26341287
>>26292814
thank you for the stories / chapters. really enjoyable

[Anonymous No.]

Now I'm glad I don't have a nickname like the rest of the authors here

[Anonymous No.]

>>26411067
Not yet you don't.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26411246
can't get one if I don't post stories on a regular bases, checkmate

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
I imagine IncestAnon as this wholesome easily flustered girl who has a dirty side to her. I will legitimately hunt her down and fuck the shit out of her and keep her captive until she finishes that damn OC fic. That goes the same for HagAnon too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451
What the actual fuck

[Anonymous No.]

>>26407451

[Anonymous No.]

>>26266200
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQAFKeBw6CVJpCTGYyKojl-9zkRUrfYUZ9wS8aWVtN4IMH1Ma7pqojhGf2Z4VcrJTyHyjDZBgkExYjo/pub

To Slay a Monster

Sorry this took so damn long to put out. My inspiration for all my projects has been absolutely deader than dead lately. Hopefully this means it's come back to me. I hope this chapter is an even better improvement to the prior two.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26412166
You forgot the tags

[Anonymous No.]

>>26292814
Man, you say advice is appreciated but your first story is better than my 10th. Only real problem is that the line breaks become weirdly formatted on mobile, but that’s about it. Good writing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26411554
>That goes the same for HagAnon too.
You got the wrong BR, anon, only one of us likes men lusting after them and it ain't me...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26365686
>>26359429
omelas?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26415690
Seminal work of these threads, it's in the archive.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26411554
Haganon is a cute little shota who is a pervert since he is into hags.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26412166
I never cared much about Flare, but this story is *mwah* chef's kiss. Great pace and great world building!
The thing you did about the color of her eyes was noted - a bit cheap, but more creative than just changing it.
Noel's character seems a bit off, comparing her first encounter (kind and caring)to the next day (strict instructor). Was that intended?
You should also think about putting new chapters into separate docs or at least somehow mark them as such. It will be a pain in the ass to keep track of the progress otherwise.
Besides that, absolutely stellar. Keep up the good work!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26339725
I agree with the others that the submarine stuff was a bit too much considering that this isn't really the focus of the series but I still enjoyed it for the most part. I think the problem with you sperging out about /k/ shit is that you assume everyone is on the same page as you so you don't give any of the scenes the build-up it deserves and just dive straight in with all the jargon. A couple paragraphs of explaining shit from Anon's perspective is fine and would actually be an improvement since it characterizes him as a military nut or someone who knows his way around stuff like this and would bring the readers up to speed on how this works, why it's such a big deal that it's happening, and why you should be hyped at what's going on. Of course, that won't work in this chapter since Anon doesn't know what's going on most of the time but I hope you get the point.
An appendix at the end like what >>26374278 said for acronyms and the like would be pretty good since while googling it would work, it would be kinda immersion-breaking plus you could write the parts of the system that are important to the scene and what you would like the reader to focus on for added effect.

I hope this doesn't dissuade you from continuing this since I still very much enjoy this fic and the story you're trying to tell

"Because this strike group runs with an Alicorn-class submersible carrier!"
>Torres hijacks the radio
>ONE MILLION LIVES!

[Anonymous No.]

>>26412166
how does one tell the skin tone of a statue?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26417700
Thank you! I appreciate it.

>The thing you did about the color of her eyes was noted - a bit cheap, but more creative than just changing it.

Yeah, I sorta got locked into it. I may be able to work that into the narrative later though, still deciding on it. Just carelessness on my part.

>Was that intended?
Yeah. Noel is going to be sorta weird in this, in a good way. But there is a reason she's shifting so fast.

I'll release them them chapter by chapter next then. I always forget that people do that here. Thank you. I'm glad the story is finally getting to a quality that some are enjoying, I know it was a bit rough to start.

>>26418693
I should've described that a bit better. It's a statue that has hues between the different pieces of stone. I'll re-write that bit here in a little while, didn't even consider that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26412166
I'm enjoying each chapter more than the last, seems like you got ball running for this series. Flare is super cute and I'm enjoying the world building on the side. I'm also intrested on what's going on with Noel, seems like there's trouble a brew. Either way good job anon and I look forward to the next chapter!

[Anonymous No.]

future cuckquean bump

[Anonymous No.]

First fic you read from /wg/ and the one you liked the most, go.

>Hating you, hating me
>Festival of sensations, childhood hag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
> Eating Fubuki's ass
> Interrogation

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>Omelas
>Lies come to Light

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>Apocalypse Meow
>Holocalypse
Botan, man... Can't resist reading fics about her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26414447
>Haganon is the Brazilian Buttfag
Nani!?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26427577
The lion hag is a seductress of unparalleled strength

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>Cover High rip
>Botan of this Gym
>>26428521
You got that right, friend.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>26411554
Dude wtf. I'm trying my best here..

[Anonymous No.]

DAMN FLOWER BOY, SEDUCING HIS FOLLOWERS
GROUP SEX CORRECTION IS URGENTLY NEEDED!! IMAGINE MIYABI MAKING BLOWJOB GESTURES AND WINKING AT YOU LIKE THIS UOHHH

[Anonymous No.]

>>26439316
Try harder.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26441491
Based

[Anonymous No.]

>>26442551
>Berries replaced with filled condoms, heavier blush, giving Miyabi half-lidded eyes, a recording overlay over it all

[Anonymous No.]

>>26444828
Man, I bet I would be able to feel the concentrated seething of thousands of women through the ether and it would give me the energy for another few rounds of absolutely destroying this slut

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>Omelas
>Victory or Death or perhaps shamefully Plastic Little

[Anonymous No.]

A bit off-topic, but do you mind if I post a sonnet I wrote so you give me your opinions?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26396404
Cringing is good, anon
It's a mark of progress

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455092
If it's a sonnet about vtubers then sure.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455179
Not about vtubers, just an erotic sonnet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455277
...you have my attention

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455398
Lol, bonk! Go to horny jail. Here it is:

Rod of Asclepius
I have been dying for intimacy
With you, striving so things could here be led —
I am at last pushed down onto the bed;
And you, succumbing to my lunacy.
You put your hands on my low self, alike
Hot serpents sliding up the tree of life,
Preparing hungrily to curl and strike—
And sighs, and moans were charming snakes of strife;
A slowly-lambent beast, that tastes the prey
With craving eyes, and fixed gaze, in a trance—
A feral gladly feasting in its way
As flesh, drool, heat, life, mix in savage dance.
Just when I thought my fate to die of lust,
You made me come to you, freeing th'angust.

Thank you for your reception. How do you like it? What do you think?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455510
The iambic pentameter is off and the sonnet is shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455510
>Lol, bonk! Go to horny jail.
didn't read the rest

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455633
It is called variation, anon. Using iambic pentameters nonstop becomes dull, you should know that.
>the sonnet is shit
Elaborate.

>>26455784
Ogey

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455510
I have no sense of rhythm so I can't speak for that, but it seems interesting. Mixing together lust and medical symbols seems like a strange choice though. Maybe I'm just bad at symbolism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455851
>Using iambic pentameters nonstop becomes dull, you should know that.
NTA you do know the reason people stick to format is because the constraints forces the author to be more creative rather than just shit it out right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455851
>It is called variation
What variant, the only variant is called Decasyllable and your "sonnet" isn't it either

[Anonymous No.]

Didn't we have another anon who was posting high-concept poetry stuff a while back?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455510
>>26455851
>deliberately emulating reddit
>fobbing off established literary techniques
trying way too hard

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455889
While thinking up metaphors for masturbation, the snake(s) on a rod came to mind. Besides, medicine deals with the body, and also sexuality: I see no problem.

>>26456020
I know; and part of it is manipulating the rhythm by variegating imperceptibly. Shakespeare himself breaks the rhythm occasionally.
And I did not just "shit it out": this sonnet is about a sensual moment after pent-up frustration, and the change in rhythm reflects the intensity, as when your heart suddenly starts beating fast.

>>26456053
All the verses are decasyllables, so surely you mean the beat and not the meter? Show me your scansion.

[Anonymous No.]

> writing
Nah
> watching streams
Nah
> studying to further my career
Nah
> playing Ark for literally 21 hours a day 3 days straight
Hell yeah

I haven't done a single fucking thing other than play Ark. For the past week, but hey, maybe this way I'll have a better chance of marrying Choco.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26457190
>literally 21 hours a day 3 days straight
knew you were unemployed. you on welfare too? does brazil even have that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>26457190
A break from time to time helps, even if it takes a week.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26457190
Okay maybe you can use this. Write about chuubas getting isekaid into ARK.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26458199
>inb4 someone trying to be a comedian comes in to make it about them getting fucked by dinosaurs

[Anonymous No.]

>>26455633
>>26455784
>>26456020
>>26456053
>>26456319
Is that all you could say? Aikawarazu, you are braindead and useless. KEK.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26458845
We write fanfiction about vtubers here anon. /lit/ is elsewhere.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26457190
Yeah, I get what you mean. I started playing the Calamity mod for Terraria with a mate a couple weeks back, and in that two weeks racked up 136 hours...
Part of me wonders what life'd be like if I managed to use time on video games for being productive, but it's a silly thought.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26458459
>A series about chuubas waking up in Ark and quickly finding themselves the breeding sow to a horny dinosaur. Each chapter has a different chuuba and a different dino. Maybe a metaplot about why chuubas are waking up in Ark.
I'd read it desu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26418443
Thanks for your input, the jargons and military dialouge are supposed to be more of an aesthetic thing than actual content, kinda like radio chatter in a CoD menu or something. I didn't really nail that feel this chapter, a bit of a miss on my part.
Although adding an appendix is sounding like a pretty good idea the more I think about it, there are lots of details about the tech and gear I wanted to point out but didn't have the room for in the story itself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>lamemes
>stolen dreams

[Anonymous No.]

>>26426156
>paradise lost
>paradise regained

[Anonymous No.]

>>26427577
>>26428936
>Apocalypse Meow
>Botan of this Gym
good taste

[Anonymous No.]

>>26463373
Could you not post a lewd image to imply she's actually shitting herself in it? The artist would cry

[Anonymous No.]

>>26464776
She's desperately looking for the toilet in that image. It's not far off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26461135
Footnotes or endnotes can also work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26412166
Now this is a really good returning chapter. While you still have your old problem of having a lack of text to describe the current setting (place not overall) the dialogue does a lot at 'coloring' the world. Excited to see where this goes anon.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Fondling Ayame's perky tits...

[Anonymous No.]

>>26473696
Cold Air Hot Blood when .-.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26473696
...is somehow more expensive than a blowjob

[Anonymous No.]

>>26473794
When I work through the backlog to get to it, which is after I stop having fun playing Chivalry II

[Anonymous No.]

>>26473696
Ayame flashing you little glimpses under her skirt to show off the slutty underwear she's hiding underneath

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474160
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA RAPE THIS BRAT

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474160
That's not even rrat!Ayame that's just real

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474547
That’s the best part

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474649
It isn’t.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474547
Don't lewd ayame.

[Anonymous No.]

>>26474879
what are you gay?

[Anonymous No.]

New thread
>>26474900

[Anonymous No.]

>>26369943
>“So, did you like it Anon?”
I loved it, a great chapter from a great author. Keep it up, anon! great job