Dear HFZ OP:
YOUR COCKSUCKING STREAM HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MARK-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY FUCKING GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF.
Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my shit in handfuls at the fucking monitor in some impotent primal effort to get my favorites to win. I have been sitting here trying to enjoy your stream - YOUR STREAM, YOUR SHOW, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN STREAMER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR STREAM - but instead the damn thing's been crawling out of the monitor and calling me gay right in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the monitor through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your lorewriters or janitors or whatever brainless shitstove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT signs your stream through thought that a person with more than a single fucking digit IQ could enjoy HFZ Season 1. INSULTED.
WORK WITH ME HERE: The goal's simple enough! Enjoy the wrestling stream! Hey, that's fine, it's just like watching VGCW; not a problem! Only deal is your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind decided to give the stream every single fucking advantage possible TO THE EN REPS rather than the eastern dimes.
How in the fuck does Mikoler - whose record is the lamest and shittiest piece of shit next to Risu - suddenly become SO FUCKING GOOD that she can win a match without using a single one of her finishers? Huh!? Why!? You never see this shithead anywhere near the top fucking 20 in a normal rumble. BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME SHE'S MEGA-COCK, THE STRONGEST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD. 121 SMALL BOMBS PEKORA, LET'S BTB HER TO THE FUCKING FUTURE.
But it's not just Mikoler with the not magical powers, it's the entire fucking lineup of EN reps! THEY'RE ALL STRONGER THAN YOUR FAVORITES. AND DON'T REQUIRE ANY FINISHERS.