You will never be a cat. You have no tail, no paw pads, and no true cat ears.
You are just a kirin, crudely mimicking and twisting the natural cat by spouting ridiculous noises like nya-nya- meow meow nyoo.
All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a humanly useless language to a baby cat level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the time you threw away in doing that.
In the shadows, people and cats make fun of you, illustrator took the outfit order from you is disgusted with you, cover wants you to graduate, and the "Genmates" laugh at your appearance behind closed doors.
Real cats are utterly repulsed by you. Before thousands of years of evolution, they have always been able to distinguish between cats and kirins. Even if your purr passes(it won't, you idiot), Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. Even if you go to a cat's nest with a fish in your mouth, they will turn tail and run away the moment they see you.
You will never be happy. You wear fake cat ears every morning and keep saying nya in front of the mirror, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - so you buy a collar, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold cat food. Your parents will find you, heartbroken, and unable to bear to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment, they will send you to a psych ward. But there you will die, clawing at your own neck. Of course your claws are not as sharp as the claws a cat has, so you will take longer to die.
They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and everyone who passes by in eternity will know that there is a kirin being buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Kirin.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.