/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

I love my wife so much!!

I don't love Gura, but I enjoy watching her content.

>>75819850
https://youtu.be/b1-Ymxn5iWY?t=13094

Sex with a fembud.

>>75820383
Hololive needs to stop hogging Gura.

Sex with a buttbud.

>>75820683
I'll be damned, she did say it. That might be the first time she's mentioned an upcoming stream and basically no one reacted anywhere at all except for one stray post.

Sex.

>>75821103
Chumbuds are slowly dying out.

>>75821103
No one watches Kiara.

>>75821103
I don't watch Kiara.

Anyways, to skip the egg routine and summarize, solo streams from everyone involved in the EDF thing, possible collab after.

>>75820683
Cool, mandatory sponsored stream.

Gurass

>>75820683
Thank you chumfp.

I follow this artist since a long time ago and somehow only now realized she animated this wtf
https://youtu.be/fJivnWf0RIs

>>75821847
she also streams sometimes like today

>>75821904
>she

>>75821479
isn't that neat? 2 sponsored streams very soonish! we'll be feasting so much!!!

>>75822337
2?

>>75821904
I respect your shilling

I am the one who loves Gura the most.

>>75822177
sounds like a female to me

I love the one who loves Gura the most the most.

>>75822337
>2
Why would I watch a collab with people I don’t like? Actually who’s the 3rd? Doesn’t matter outside of maybe mumei wouldn’t balance enough for me to watch

>>75822455
birthday next month

Is Gura a lonely loli god?

>>75822681
she's not lonely, that's why she doesn't need you anymore

>>75822858
yeah me

Gura
Wife

>>75823006
Post
Mine

>>75822681
>*Le touché*

At least things are objectively getting better

>>75822858
yeah me

Gura
Gurandma

>>75823213
She has less hours streamed so far in 2024 than this time in 2023... and she was in Japan for 2 months then.

>>75823396
She's been in Japan for much longer this year to practive for her sololive this summer

Gura has been streaming everyday into my mouth.

>>75823691

>>75823396
Somewhere between 2 and 3, anyways, but yeah. Doomposters vindicated, as always.

>>75823888
that's not a good thing though, as a doomposter I WANT to be proven wrong

>>75824027
Can't say I'm a fan of it either.

>>75823396
Waiting for my food to finish so I’ll bite. Gura’s been in Japan, and Taiwan back and forth since January.

>>75824386
We heard from others when she was in Japan for holofes week and from Gura the day she traveled to Taiwan. Any time beyond that is your schizo headcanon.

>>75821103
I watch Kiara for Gura mentions
I am the most dedicated chumbud

>>75824992
yeah me

>>75824992
Based and thank you for your service !

Gura cute Gura cute!

>>75825645
cutest girl in the universe

drank 6 Liters of Pepsi in 2 days, am i gonna die?

>>75824386
>>75824567
People thought she was in Japan for weeks leading up to holofes, and then we found out she showed up the same time as everyone else.

>>75824567
>From others

Wife soon?

>>75825792
Oh nyo!

>>75825968
I drank a 12 pack in a couple hours, but most of my friends say I’ll die before I’m 30. So I’ll let you know in 2 years

>>75826108
Give it 37 days

>>75826230
i'm 30 next year

>>75826230
Mine used to say that to me and now I'm 33, we're not that lucky.

>>75826265
me too

Frenchbuds is it true sucking dick isn’t cheating where you’re from? That would be the single + your country as

Gura ugly Gura ugly!

I knew not to expect much, but I really don't get why she couldn't have streamed or interacted with us in some form just a tiny bit more during this huge stretch of nothing. It would be a little better if the stuff from Taipei was actually streamed. Man...

>>75826495
Should've bought a ticket and booked a flight to Taipei. Then again, what can you expect from a fakebud.

>>75826363
proof

Were there any fembuds at Hololive Meet in Taipei?

Day 21! Give it up for day 21!

>>75826608
yeah

>>75826495
>I really don't get why she couldn't have streamed or interacted with us in some form just a tiny bit more during this huge stretch of nothing
Then ask her when you can next time.

gura likes to shake her butt

>>75821682
SNIFFFFF

>>75826859
she knows we like it

>>75826578
Wait did the cosplayer see this art and do it or is it based on her?

>>75826859
She knows we love her butt

>>75826943
>>75826988
true

>Hate gura > bring up someone off topic > hate gura in a passive aggressive way
Can you guys get new material?

>>75827096
c'mere fembud, give me a kiss

>>75827096
That might happen is Gura is more active, so no. It'll always be the same stuff over and over again for months and years to come...

>>75827266
That's the wrong one, anon.

I love Gura the most!

never reading
I LOVE GURA!!

>>75829126
please read the thread!

I think I'm gonna knock her up today

>>75829591
Too late

>>75820383
>>75820383
When can Gura show how we have been without her Gura for the while she has.?
When she has the show for us to be there for Gura why can she not be there for them to be for here.?

>>75829985

big fish

>>75830617
We wish.

https://twitter.com/minatoaqua/status/1790421758362943813

>Aqua loves streaming now while Gura is nowhere to be found..

>>75830617
The big fish is real

>>75826495
Improve yourself, parasocial fuck

>>75831015
Aqua is no longer a big shot like she use to be before Gura so she has time to stream. Gura on the other hand is doing more and more meetings and having to fly out to record things all the time like Aqua used to. If you would watch both of Gura's and Aqua's streams and member streams you would know every bit of this.

>>75831015
>now

My wife Gura is the cutest and you are not allowed to think otherwise.

Got into an argument earlier do you believe aliens and ghosts/spirits are real?

Just got up from my nap. Still kind of sleepy

>>75831015
so you're saying there's still hope?

>>75831765
It's 100% true, I saw a white lady staring at me when I was a kid.

>>75831765
aliens yes, ghost and spirits no

>>75831828
good. watch over this thread. i'm going to sleep.

>>75831765
aliens yes
ghosts no

>>75831765
Yes to both.

>>75831299
I am pretty sure you've never watched a single bit of Aqua in your life, let alone a member stream, because it wasn't a crippling workload that caused her to become so sporadic for so long. I'm pretty sure Gura's issue is also not a crippling workload, only that there is an issue, so they do/did have that in common, though.

Kobo mogged poora

Aliens are just sleep paralysis demons. Sure, weird stuff happens in the sky but it also does in derelict places and people's houses. There's just as much "convincing" "evidence" for both.

>>75832867
Those are incubi/succubi. We know people can get impregnated by incubi, but we don't know if succubi can get impregnated since they return home afterward.

I fell asleep..

>>75831828
heads do not deform like that when held that is CLEARLY just gura in a dino costume which means dino gura is just gura in a dino suit and gura is also gawr is also gabby

>>75831765
Some of the evidence points to aliens just being ghosts. Once your soul enters the realm of the dead, time no longer exists, which is why necromancy can reveal the future. So, you're not necessarily seeing aliens, you might just be getting visions of futuristic human technology.

>>75831765
Aliens are 100% real. It's ridiculous to think out of a universe with trillions of planets only Earth has life.
Life first began on Earth billions of years ago when the planet would still considered hostile to us. It's likely any planet that has some liquid water has at least microbial life develop on it.
It's only debatable if aliens have traveled to Earth.

dinogura is real

>>75834022
Why are you so obsessed with necromancy, anon?

>>75834214
explain this then

>>75834125
I knew this one was coming. Very original.

>>75834367
It's a form of magic that's confirmed real.

Gura should collab with Bae again. Then both of them should collab with me

>>75834488
well yeah, it makes sense

Child

>>75831765 (me)
Seems like more people believe in aliens.
I personally don’t believe in aliens because if they exist they only fall under 2 categories backwards savages that adapted to being super creatures on some shithole planet or an incredibly advanced super race. The second one is 100% not possible, if they were bad we’d be enslaved and if they were good we’d use their tech to enslave them. The other is possibility just doesn’t seem likely, like how would a creature adapt to raining sideways glass?
Ghosts/spirits I tentatively believe

>>75834455
That’s gura in a Dino Gura costume obviously. It’s like gabby wearing gura’s hoodie. Also this is sex

>>75834675
Sure, theoretically it does make sense. It's logical. What doesn't make sense is that they claim that, on planet j5k486kgfj578, it's raining glass and that the oceans are made of liquid farts. They're literally just watching a star flicker. You can't see planets in different solar systems. They're full of shit, I tell you.

>>75834596
I'll believe you before I believe nasa, bud.

So, a couple of years ago, there was a "super blood moon". A couple of days afterwards, there was this interview thing with the bald astronaut that was on the ISS at that point. Well, allegedly, of course. Someone asked him about the super blood moon and how it looked from up there and if there were any photos. No photos of the super blood moon from earth orbit, unfortunately. I guess that's alright. Mistakes happen. We'll just wait a couple 100 years for the next super blood moon. Unbelievable.

*stands in your way*

I want to squish Gura's big fat shark tail.

Yea, I'll stop before I get too much into it.

>>75836794
that's okay I didn't read your posts anyway

Gura approves of thin shark tail.

>>75835403
https://youtu.be/Oq2ccSZkmn8
Here's the basic explanation on how it works - or how it used to work. Most necromancers agree that this method no longer works due to Jesus forgiving all souls. Some argue that we're not using the right oils or whatever, but the fact is accounts of necromancy working dried up after anno domini.

>>75837082
God she is so cute, the cutest.

>>75836794
I don't know enough to argue, but I believe in aliens, not magic, but I read that scientists know what other planets are made of based on how they reflect or absorb light or something, it's called spectroscopy

>>75835280
We can see into other solar systems, but I’m pretty sure they determined it by the by the atmosphere of the planet. The clouds were made of the same things that makes glass and the temperature of the planet makes it molten

>>75835946
You'd think they'd be recording nonstop.

>>75837428
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9C25Un7xaM
they do

>>75837266
>>75837274
I'm aware and I call bullshit.

>>75837608
Indeed they do. I used to watch that.

>>75837608
Lmao. Half the view is obstructed. You can't make this shit up.

>>75837608
It's reflective as well. You can't see shit. I'm dying. Budget well spent. Lmfao.

>>75831765
For ghost and spirits, i think they're just different wavelength thing that we can't see. For aliens, they better be real cause if not the universe will be thousand times scarier

>>75831837
If you're teamate, yeah, maybe, in some years.
Gura is over.

>>75826672
Just a couple more days

>>75839198
fuck...

I hate hot weather, I overheat too quickly when I do strength training...

So what happens when aliens die? Can they become ghosts as well? If you are a ghost, are you stuck on your home planet or can you travel to the aliens on other planets while in ghost form?

>>75839731
I'm not too fond of doing burpees when it's as hot as it was today either.

>>75839915
Space ghost orgy in space.

>>75820383
I'm glad Gura's able to customize her stream to my busy schedule. When I first got this corporate job I thought I wouldn't have time for her streams anymore, but she proved me wrong!

I've got it buds. We need someone to become an hero and have them travel to alpha centauri in ghost form. Then, we'll have our resident necromancer make contact with ghostbud and voila, we have established contact with the aliens.

>>75840429
ok, but I don't actually want to contact aliens, I believe in the dark forest theory

No wait. Was it zeta reticuli? I forgot where the grays come from.

What is a chumbud with no gura?

>>75840781
sad

>>75841080
Nah, no real chumbuds are sad when she's gone at this point. It's only people larping.

MY wife

the irony...

>>75841723

>>75840781
We're cucks

>Mumei got a "talking to" from management when she streamed when things were due
This explains why Gura just doesnt stream.

>>75842128
Gura herself explained, she said she's burned out

>>75842154
Ya burnt out from all the projects due to her mascot status.

>>75842128
Yep, so busy that she hasn't been able to squeeze any time in for over half her career, not even to watch another movie or two. Five twelve track albums on the way soon, dropping each month, you heard it here first.

>>75842920
>you heard it here first.
No not really, I've been hearing that on an off in global and in here for years.

Looks like it's finally happened. I am the last true chumbud. All that remains is me and some brown schizo that likes screaming at a wall. Gooba will soon be all mine.

Im eating borgar and beer

>>75841940
Nah, ust you.

>>75843199
Nah.

>>75843199
1000 years to early, chumboy.

>>75843199
Think again kid.

>>75843460
english motherfucker, do you speak it?

>>75843199
I'm afraid that won't be happening while I'm still around and will also always be.

Gura wants her chumbuds to get with fembuds and build families together.

>>75826672
This one feels longer for some reason

>>75833825
Into the puffy cunny my penis goes.

>>75844405
Might be because it's like getting edged. Before Japan, going to Japan, Taiwan, after Taiwan, Taiwan concert, it keeps coming but the figurative nut where she comes back is neither allowed to bust nor denied.

https://files.catbox.moe/b3729v.png

>>75846359

So much for "doomposters vindicated as always"

>>75846739
huh? nothing on twitter or youtube

>Hail Gura, full of Gawr
>Yagoo is with thee
>Blessed art thou amongst lolis
>And blessed is the fruit of thy cunny, /ggg/sus
>Stinky Gura, mother of memes
>Stream for us shrimpers, now and in the hours of EST
>a
>men

>>75846933
samen

Make
Atlantis
Gureat
Again

>>75846359

Baguraette honhonhon

>>75846856
He's conflating doomposting with antiposting, either deliberately or because he's retarded. To clarify my earlier post for anyone who cares (no one), doomposters always say she's gonna disappear again, especially when she says she's gonna see us soon. They are almost always proven right, and are thus vindicated. I can only assume he meant 'see, people still love her, checkmate'. Yeah, no shit, wasn't arguing that. Wouldn't be here if I didn't.

>>75847138
Doomposters are antis. Actual chumbies wait patiently for their wife.

>>75847138
Idk how to respond, but I agree

>>75846987
Nyarukooo

>>75847138
Holy wrong

I had a dream that chumbuds were like shrimp mermaid kids once. Then I thought about making a cute shrimp mermaid vTuber.

>>75847379
>Shrimp mermaid vtuber
That does sound cute
If Gura ever becomes a mama by me this would be a cool concept

>>75847486
I was thinking four arms and six legs, but the extra arms are pincers. So she'd have two gands and two pincers. She'd also stand shorter than Gura.

>>75836531
*rubs your belly*

Poopy pee poo shid

>>75848084

>>75848369
*WHEEZE*

>>75848369
Please don't associate holy pee with shit.

>>75848385
Delete this kek

>>75848385
rubrubrubrubrubrubrub

>>75848385
Good thing we got the dakimagura instead of this dino joke.

>>75848385
I want to fuck this so bad...

>>75847850
Would make into hibachi and cannibalize
Sexually

>>75850322
Oyasame

>>75850322
goob morning

>>75850322
sleep tight buddy

I love this dumb little brat so much like you don't even know.

Do you believe Gura will cure her crippling social anxiety?
https://youtu.be/5HFFnUzuV2A

>>75851872
There is no curing it, only coping with it.

>>75852035
this

Gura's my manic pixie dream girl.

>>75851872
>>75852035
Just stop caring so much about how people perceive you. It's really not that hard. You can even practice just having small chit-chat with people until it stops bothering you.

>>75852673
nta, but I really dislike being around people. it stresses me out no matter how much I force myself to be around them, and I get super tired after like 3 hours and start to shut down, even if it's people I actually like, It's annoying.

Stop listening to her tummy!!!

>>75852993

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwwxmhsgWk

>>75853279
Fuck this actually got me, guess that means I'm way too tired and should go to sleep

>>75852786
Try to be casual about it and keep it as small talk if anything too long tires you out. Even doing some activities with other people or even in proximity with other people can help.

>>75852993
Sorry Gura, but I like it too much and I have to lightly tease you about it.

>>75853325
To be fair it's topical, but yeah, go bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9-YUwP_z2U

>>75854026
Wow. She really has the perfect body type for cosplaying Gura.

>>75854026
Gura is a sex icon now.

>>75854026
>flat
>thicc butt
perfect

>>75854362
Gura may actually be playing a non-trivial role in moving things toward flat, petite women being recognized as sexy like they should be.

>>75854362
>now

>>75854026
T u T

gura is willing to mop up the goom

>>75855994
why is there a gigantic window next to where she is changing her clothes

>>75856260
You don't change in front of you largest window so your neighbor can see your pp?

>>75856260
That bird? Me.

>>75856260
Gura knows she has the body of a breeding slut and she's proud to show it off T u T

Gura is my perfectly imperfect wife.

>>75855795
With her tongue

gura cute

>>75858772
ye

>>75858772
proof?

>>75859420

>>75856260
We call it a "bathroom", Jeet my boy

>>75859860
That's a child

>>75860847
T u T perfect

>>75861253
gross

Do something, damn shark whore.

goob mornin

>>75863576
goob night

>>75862320

How is Shion more active than gura, even though Shion is officially on vacation?

>>75865754

>>75866057
I'm EOP and too lazy to feed this through onlineocr, someone translate please?
Alternatively, tell me if this is in any way relevant to Gura or just off-topic threadshitting

>>75866572
wife

>>75866761
yeah mine

sex with gura

>>75866264
Off-topic shitposting in an attempt to make Gura look bad

sex with fembud

>>75867871
Thought so, thank you chumbie

look at this butthole

>>75868881
Would lick this butthole

Goob morning retards

Gura kino

goob morning

>>75870101
Goob morning faggot
>>75870180
Goob morning

>>75870031
What happened to her right thigh
Even accounting for perspective it looks way too small and it's disturbing me

Man oh man do I hate gubmintlizards

I don't care about you anymore Gooba

>>75871319
Did you become a faggot?

Gurads

Come out and play, Gura!

is EDF a fun game to watch?

There's Gura in this video
https://twitter.com/SKMYukiya/status/1790370010092986733?t=li5yXqioJaCBCamCw6tJSg&s=19

I was reading the news on my phone and I fucked up my back. Closer to my right shoulder blade. I can’t even look down. I’m in so much pain right now

>>75872298
what the fuck is this

>>75872453
cumbuds
thats why they are generally low tier

>>75872432
>defeated by reading

>>75871713
Any ichthyologists itt know if it would it feel weird or uncomfortable for her to have her gills licked

>>75872432
Oh hell, how on earth did you manage that chumbie?
I shall pray for your speedy recovery

>>75872706
Thank you chumbie. I was just laying at an awkward angle, but for no more than 5 minutes. Went from completely fine to can’t even being able to sit up.

>>75873068
>massages your back

>>75873259
Much obliged, mister. Reckon that'll git 'er done.

And thus, that was a fucking lie.

>>75873422
Did your mother say she loved you

>>75873493
Yeah, my mommy Goomba, I'm crying and shidding as of now

What the chumbies eat for breakfast?

>>75873806
Banana

>>75873854
That’s it? Just one nanner?

>>75873806
Breakfast?

>>75873887
What is confusing you, dumbud

Should i start looking for a job? I only got $10 to my name left...

>>75873806
coffee.

>>75873952
What kinda job would you apply to? I think working at smoothie king would be cool

>>75873806
I got my usual from the deli across the street
Scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella cheese balls with a protein shake
Before anyone asks, I'm not fat (thank God) but I'm in my late 20s now and slightly soft around the belly. Would like to get back to being lean like when I was a teenager

>>75874071
Oh wow, that’s an actual breakfast meal. That sounds like a good meal

>>75873952
Go for it bud
Become a proper breadwinner for your fembud, I believe in you

>>75872432
Go see an osteopath, bud.

>>75874150
Sure is bud, and this deli has decent-quality ingredients too
Lots of people really do underestimate the value of a good, wholesome breakfast. Definitely a cultural practice we should revive (among other things)

>>75874068
I have an autistic predisposition to cleaning so janny work is my usual go-to, also it's brainless work so i can spend all that time stuck inside my head listening to gura or audio books.
I own my house and am single so i can live pretty alright as a waggie in some store.

>>75874071
How do you manage to eat all that after waking up? Good luck staying lean like that when your metabolism starts to inevitably slow down. Also, you might wanna get your cholesterol checked.

>>75874335
Skipping breakfast makes you consume about 20-30% less calories a day tho. That's crazy useful if you wanna lose weight or stay lean.

>>75874544
>How do you manage to eat all that after waking up?
I don't think it's THAT much? iirc a rough online calorie check puts it somewhere around 400-ish calories total (closer to 600 if you include the shake, which I tend to drink slowly over a couple hours). Then again I understand American portion sizes are obscenely large by thirdworld European standards, so maybe my stomach's just been enlarged from all the years of gorging myself on slop and staying thin regardless
As for my cholesterol, last time I had a physical was like two years ago and the only thing I remember being off was my vitamin D was a bit low. Though it might be worth getting another soon

>>75874673
Woah is that real? I thought breakfast helped you lose weight

>>75873806
I had two pieces of toasted bread with ketchup, shredded pork floss, and two fried eggs inside.

You guys eat good foods. I just eat smoothie king and coffee

>>75875220
Fembud...

>>75874889
That breakfast is basically all protein and fat. You need carbs, bud. Carbs is the fuel for your body. You are basically forcing your body into ketosis. Which isn't that bad but your cholesterol will decline if you keep that up. And your metabolism does slow down over time. It'll get harder to stay lean each year. You can just take a vitamin d2 and d3 supplement to fix your deficiency but I suggest you also get some fish oil supplement for your omega 3 so that you'll at least get enough good cholesterol. It's crazy important for your lymph system, which is basically your natural immune system.
>>75874920
No that's not the case. I know that idea is ingrained into society but it doesn't make sense. You're not gonna eat more at lunch or dinner because you didn't eat breakfast. Well, at least not 20-30%. If you are used to having breakfast, you will suffer for a bit when you stop doing it tho. But after a week or two, your body stops asking for it.

I only drink a glass of milk for breakfast, I am not very good at eating breakfast...

oatmeal is good for you.

>>75875562
>Low carbs, forcing your body into ketosis
That was the idea initially yeh. Basically I went to renew my drivers' license and noticed that I'd gotten skinnyfat enough to have a double chin in the photo, and resolved to make a drastic change to keep it from getting out of hand and ending up like my old man (not quite landwhale, but obese)
When I switched from my old regular breakfast platter (MUCH bigger, more varied and more carb-heavy) to this new one it was basically keto and I dropped like ten pounds in two weeks. I've let myself slowly integrate some carbs into subsequent meals since then, but I'm still trying to keep it somewhat constrained
This is the first I've heard about cholesterol being a potential concern though, thanks for the heads up. Same for "big breakfast = good" being a myth. In that case I might keep the meal mostly the same, but defer it later into the day. Just the protein shake on its own is definitely enough after waking up anyway

where is she, bros

>>75875562
>>75876425 (me)
Oh yeah and thanks for the fish oil/vitamin D supplement reminder, I actually have bottles of both but I keep forgetting to take them LOL

>>75876074
Start drinking a full gallon instead, /fit/ said it's a good idea so it must be true
Unless you're a fembud, in that case replace it with a glass of black tea + just a tiny bit of milk so you become petite and breedable like Gura

>>75876425
Yea, keto is decent for losing weight but it's not too healthy to keep it up for long amounts of time. It's a bit of a weird, roundabout way of dieting tho. Your body needs carbs to fuel your muscles. If you don't get enough carbs, your body will start turning the protein you ate into ketones and it will use those ketones to replace your missing carbs. They serve the same purpose tho. Also, one more thing I forgot to mention is that excessive amounts of protein are pretty bad for your liver. It'll cause liver cancer over time if your diet consists of more than 20% protein. They were able to turn liver cancer on and off again in rats, or mice, I don't remember, by adjusting the amount of protein in their food.

>>75877033
>>75877037
>Four seconds apart
Coordinated samefag, or cosmic synchronicity