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/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers


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File: 279 KB, 1916x1916, __kaela_kovalskia_hololive_and_1_more_drawn_by_seventeencrows__332cac099a5e30fc0049c2ea1c82ff95.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
52939418 No.52939418 [Reply] [Original]

This is the writing thread, for all of your fanfiction needs and desires. Check the archives below for everything the thread has put out so far, ranging from SFW to NSFW, fluff to tragedy, small literary works and shitposts alike!

Collective works so far are available in the archive:
https://script.google.com/macros/s/AKfycbxZVzygb0QjJ6hksAEYzCbLCegxsjhui97BB73qzPvU7GgJv6fXdAPmmIv6Qt9H5d5Fzg/exec

>Isn't this just you fuckers writing fanfiction, eh?
Yes.

previous thread:>>52795296

>> No.52939434
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52939434

Story anchor.
Post 'em if you got 'em

>> No.52939464
File: 1.59 MB, 1000x865, bounty board.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
52939464

Do you have a story you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

>> No.52939493
File: 2.51 MB, 1500x843, __kaela_kovalskia_hololive_and_1_more_drawn_by_futomoy__94fb92455bd6788e7845393c593b4b5e.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
52939493

Story recap! There... were five stories posted in the last thread.

Balsa: Chapter Fourteen: Tags: (you), Botan, Watame, Civia, medieval fantasy, adventure:>>52795863

>> No.52939528
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52939528

Prompt recap! Last thread had a lot of new prompts. Here they are in case you missed them:

You know what they say - fast cars and the Japanese countryside are an iconic duo. And it's no secret that you love a good drive down those scenic roads. But one day, as you cruise along at top speed, you begin to notice something strange happening with your GPS system. The normally emotionless voice guiding you on your journey has taken on a distinctly sweet and cheerful tone.:>>52800058

(You) have always been close with your sister, Lui. However, after you both left the nest and each went their own way in life, meetings grow somewhat irregular over the course of time.:>>52800696

Anon is Laplus' older cousin who was asked to babysit her for the day. Both of you get along well so you indulge her in her chuuni fantasies.:>>52811285

Bae being hospitalized after nearly suffocating due to laughing too hard at a dick joke:>>52827354

Chuuba of your choice drinking your cum through a straw directly from your dick.:>>52865632

Getting Kobo butt-pregnant:>>52868423

Chloe, Iroha, Laplus and Koyori have an all out battle with the chuuniest of powers. Chloe's an apex predator like a dinosaur, Iroha's a samurai/ninja, Laplus is a god of destruction, Koyori's a mad scientist.:>>52908611

Your oshi tries to get through a collab stream while you're bound under the table and being forced to throat her raging futa hardon:>>52914460

Koyori making you literally cum your brains out - into a test tube, where she can then experiment with hosting you in other objects while she toys with your soulless former body:>>52915873

A fic, any fic, with any chuuba, but it's been 4Kids-ified:>>52931545

>> No.52939805

>>52937249
You're not the creator of HoloFantasy and have no say in it.

>> No.52941373
File: 914 KB, 1080x1080, 1688664265007038.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
52941373

>>52939464
Korone snowballs you

>> No.52942415
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52942415

So, what fics do you still have hope for anon?

>> No.52942627
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52942627

>>52942415
Something that involves finding Korone knotted together with Okayu for half an hour and they can't do anything about it despite their embarrassment.

>> No.52942973

>>52942627
Anon... You might want to reread the question since I'm pretty sure no one's talked about writing something like that here.

>> No.52945126

>>52942973
I mean I guess he wanted it

>> No.52947074
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52947074

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-dream!

>> No.52947881

>>52939493
I think you may need counting practice

>> No.52949655 [DELETED] 

Bump

>> No.52951567
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52951567

>>52897241
>>52901896
Author here, looking back I can see the weakness in that setup - I don't think I gave it enough thought, I just wanted something that Ayame could forget to do while gaming to get that League of Legends reference in there. How harsh a dom is is ultimately a lifestyle choice, but since I wrote a self-insert it not being relatable, even to someone who are into the dynamic in principle, is a problem. I'll make a minor change so it's at least a repeat offense and a broken promise.
The idea behind the 20 minutes time limit was to make it a challenge that she can use to redeem herself, but also fail - Ayame's over 1500 years old and you have been knowing each other for at least a while, she wouldn't have any issue making a good meal for you with more time. And it makes sense in another way too, since dinner has been delayed already and you're hungry.

Reading back over the story and hearing that someone here still appreciates it, I want to write another part of it now. I'm pretty busy and not a fast writer, but it should only take a few weeks.

>> No.52951667

>>52942415
My hope is gone, because the fics I wanted were dropped.

>> No.52951713

>>52942415
Lamy footjob guy will show up.
and even if he doesnt
ill be here

>> No.52951781

>>52947881
I think the bot counted five stories, but only linked one since the other four were anchors to dreamanon's posts

>> No.52952231

>>52951781
I think the fucking dreamanon posts have kind of proven that whoever bakes the thread runs a script then sanity checks whatever comes out the other end.

>> No.52952865

>>52951567
Rather than forget to put it on, what if she had burnt your dinner instead because she was so engrossed in LoL that she simply forgot the time? I think then that would make the severity of the crime she's committed justified and she'd be getting the spanking with a paddle to make sure she learns her lesson and doesn't forget again.
Also I need to ask again, but would it be another spanking if she failed to make (You) your dinner in time? I'd hate to see the colour of her ass seeing as if I remember correctly, its turning purple no?

>> No.52953751

>>52952231
Yeah, at least the story anchor's kept clean, that's for sure

>> No.52954044

>>52953751
agreed. I can handle the text being wrong and only linking to actual stories that got anchored.

>> No.52954871

>>52952865
>Rather than forget to put it on, what if she had burnt your dinner instead because she was so engrossed in LoL that she simply forgot the time? I think then that would make the severity of the crime she's committed justified and she'd be getting the spanking with a paddle to make sure she learns her lesson and doesn't forget again.
That's a better idea, actually - I'll use it. Thanks!

>Also I need to ask again, but would it be another spanking if she failed to make (You) your dinner in time?
No, that's out of the question. Both because it'd be too cruel given that she's actually trying, and because it'd be repetitive. The first part of the story has been quite harsh; I reckon the story should go in a more playful and romantic direction, to make it clear that the relationship is mature and a good thing for both parties.

>> No.52954979

>>52954871
So no possibility for horn breaking?

>> No.52955088
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52955088

>>52939464
Korone's new outfit has got me craving a story about her being a delinquent/bully
I think it's the jacket. And the bat

>> No.52955281

>>52955088
What would it be about? Your school bully Korone forcing you to eat and or work at the bakery/cafe she works at?

>> No.52955565

>>52954979
Crippling people isn't hot to me irl or in a fantasy, not even if it was consensual; at that point I'd question the sanity of both sides.
It also sounds so viscerally unpleasant to read about, and I don't even have horns. Like actual torture where you pull people's fingernails out or flay them.

>> No.52955613
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52955613

>>52955088
Now THIS makes me glad I left Kurokami's errand boy on the back burner. That jacket is fucking perfect for Korone in that story. Making her weapon of choice of a spiked bat is also a good touch. She will protec her favorite weenie.

>> No.52955680

>>52955281
Something abusive. We don't get too many abuse stories anymore.

>> No.52956396

>>52954871
>No, that's out of the question.
That actually makes me feel a bit relieved. While the discipline in the story is consensual, I think spanking someone when their ass is already purple is too much. I'd only spank again if she recovered from it so that I don't put her in discomfort. Or I'd at least use my hand so its not as painful to her.
Would being forced to clean the house in the nude be an alright punishment for her? or would she get too turned on by it that it'd be pointless?

>> No.52956967

>>52939464
After Ina finishes working from a hot and sweaty day, (You) reward her with intense and passionate lovemaking

>> No.52957117

>>52955088
So that just leaves Fubuki without an Alice in Wonderland outfit?

>> No.52957428

>>52955680
Sounds like a job for me. I've been getting ideas for how to continue Lazy Oni at last. Not sure what it was before but I just couldn't figure how to keep it going. If I have time, I'll start it again. Didn't realize the market for ryona was still good.

>> No.52958126

>>52957428
Didn't Lazy Oni's original horn break ending not end up so good?
Admittedly it was mostly because you skipped past the emotional abuse and buildup to get to it but the extreme ending and tone shift might have also played a part.

>> No.52958783

Just break her heart or something don't break her horn it's very sensitive

>> No.52958977

>>52956396
>That actually makes me feel a bit relieved. While the discipline in the story is consensual, I think spanking someone when their ass is already purple is too much. I'd only spank again if she recovered from it so that I don't put her in discomfort. Or I'd at least use my hand so its not as painful to her.
In my mind, such an actually fearsome punishment would only appropriate at a point where the sub is so blatantly disobedient that the whole relationship is called into question anyway. And if you like spanking a lot there's always other body parts.
>Would being forced to clean the house in the nude be an alright punishment for her? or would she get too turned on by it that it'd be pointless?
I mean, cleaning is part of her duties anyway and she's still rrat!Ayame at heart - being naked would only make it harder to resist her seduction. The punishment would have to be making her wear ugly clothes, or a chastity belt.

>> No.52959514

>>52958977
What about piercing her nipples? Make it something permanent and painful.

>> No.52960149

>>52959514
I don't see how that works, even if it's not considered too severe (I would consider it that, mostly because permanence is a big deal): If you like nipple piercings Ayame would happily have them, and if you don't you wouldn't want to make her permanently less attractive when there's so many options.

>> No.52960275

>>52939418
is it just me or does that left arm look really fucked up?

>> No.52960585

>>52960275
It does look significantly shorter than her other arm.

>> No.52961130
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52961130

>put scene in wordcounter
>9th-10th grade reading level
It's over...

>> No.52961332

>>52961130
Doesn't sound too low, doesn't it? Children should be able to read most fiction that's modernly written at that age.

>> No.52962114
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52962114

>>52961332
I expect my works of vtuber sex orgies to be passed down as high literature... how can I face the greats after this humiliation by this faceless robot!

>> No.52964453
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52964453

>> No.52966252

>>52964453
Another chapter of Ramy raping (You) in your own house?

>> No.52966522
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52966522

>>52964453
>bandaid on her neck
I will give Wamy too many hickeys to hide, and I'd want her to do the same to me

>> No.52967435

>>52958126
Yeah. I did a remaster of it and got a few chapters in before I hit the writers block equivalent of a steel wall. Thought I'd never pick it up again but if people still want it, I may. I know how to move the plot forward now in a way that isn't jumping the gun.

>> No.52968121
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52968121

>>52942973
Got a problem with it, punk?

>> No.52968651

>>52957428
It's not a job for you. You don't know how to write abuse unless it involves you being molested as a kid.

>> No.52971161

>>52967435
Will it have a good ending?

>> No.52974938

>>52971161
I hope

>> No.52977961

>>52951567
You wouldnt post that pic without putting bondage and a blindfold in the sequel. Right?

>> No.52978832

>>52942415
Kurokami's Errand Boy
Please

>> No.52980514
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>> No.52981496
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52981496

>>52978832
I'm slowly but surely building up hype to get back into that one bro. Please hold on. I need to finish this arc of HJ before the summer ends for this can truly be a hagtastic summer.

>> No.52981634

>>52981496
Glad to hear it's not abandoned
I'll be looking forward to it
Thank you for your hard work

>> No.52981680
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52981680

>>52981496
Man, I gotta write some feral Botan sometime soon...

>> No.52982189
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52982189

>>52981634
I'll keep doing my best and having fun. I have an immense NEED for lion hag mating right now. If I don't get it out through HJ, I would be dangerously tempted to let delinquent high school gang Botan get a few feels in with errand boy anon, and that's not how the story should go.
>>52981680
It's been a blast so far, so much so I added six other lions to get absolutely wild with.
Mud wrestling Botan into playful submission can't come soon enough.

>> No.52984923
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52984923

>>52939434
Bonsoir lads!

I've taken an anon's advice and tried to write a oneshot to hone my writing skills. What better way to do so than foxlust?

No place like home.


Shirakami Fubuki and her brother Anon, have always been terribly fond of each other. Their habit of love didn't die out as thew grew up, it merely transmutated into something else, something more troublesome.

https://rentry.org/32zcz

Tags: Shirakami Fubuki, NSFW, incest, netorase.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

>> No.52985070

>>52984923
Wait, who wrote this? What other works have you written? This is familiar yet I can't put my finger on it.

>> No.52985177

>>52985070
Auntieanon

>> No.52985293

>>52985177
That's exactly what I thought! It's missing that undercurrent of foreboding, that's what it is. It seemed alien.

Immediately backed this up, I'll give feedback later.

>> No.52987085

>>52984923
It's so over for us unnamed bride bros...

>> No.52987573
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52987573

>>52984923
Tags scared me for a second but thankfully that didn't go that way.

FORBIDDEN LOVE CHADS WE ARE IN

>> No.52987778
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52987778

>>52987085
Haven't read it yet, but if she is unnamed, I could immediately give the feedback that a character like that should be named. To give a name and a face to the person being passed over not only magnifies the anon's personal apprehension from doing so, but it also possibly makes the reader either happier that they being left behind, or even a little sad. Either way, giving names and some semblance of life to other characters goes a long way.

>> No.52987920

>>52985293
I started out as a fluff writer, you know.
>>52987778
I thought of naming her but she had so few interactions I just said why.
But you know, that's a valid point, gimme a sec.

>> No.52988197
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52988197

>>52987920
Depending on how the current relationship is, it can also be acceptable for anon to only refer to her as "wife" too. If the connection between the two has become dulled and almost unwanted enough, he could end up referring to her by title since that's what she is more than the woman he fell in love with. Although, a bride to be would imply that the relationship is in one of its high points. Granted when its not shit like an arranged, political, or marriage for some other reason besides love.

>> No.52989596
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52989596

>>52984923
You're real good at writing anon

>> No.52989717

>>52987920
>I started out as a fluff writer, you know
I thought your first fic was that Towa gets cucked by Kanata one?

>> No.52990071

>>52989717
It was actually Summer (hag)love, a mommydom fic about Mio and you going on vacation and her giving you a good fucking to increase your defenses against a cold.
Then it was Unnamed Lui Oneshot, based on a copypasta about cougar Lui preying on a young unsuspecting Anon at a bar.
Then it was another bit of Mio fluff called My heart feels at home with you.
Then I think I wrote I piece of smut for Ame
And THEN Sad genuine smile came.

I've written other oneshots for the thread, just nothing too grand.

>> No.52990122

I'm having rushia as a one note side character in a fic and i don't know what to name her. I don't want to call her rushia but i want it known that it is her without a doubt, what could i call her?

>> No.52990155

>>52990122
aihsur

>> No.52990344

>>52990122
whoshia

>> No.52990360

>>52990122
Lushia

>> No.52990391

If you're interested in wrestling, The Fly is up against /vtai/'s Mecha-Lulu now:
cytu be/r/HoloFightZ

>> No.52990403

>>52990122
Necromancer

>> No.52990623

>>52990155
>>52990344
>>52990360
Heh, i might do this or use the 4Kids name

>>52990403
I could probably use this and have it make sense somehow, i just had an interesting idea

>> No.52990725
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52990725

Is using Rushia's name really that taboo? Or is just a preference thing for some people?

>> No.52991258

>>52990122
mike

>> No.52991293

>>52990122
I mean the chart was posted last thread. >>52928142

>> No.52992145

>>52990725
No, not taboo but i wanted to play around with "still around but not under that name"

>> No.52992148

>>52990122
Mana Ita

>> No.52992437 [DELETED] 

>>52990122
Ukuraina

>> No.52994054

>>52990122
Lucia

>> No.52996579
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52996579

>wrote a really good emotional scene
>realize it would actually be a lot better for a moment that's 5-6 chapters away at least
>it was 7 pages long and now I have to completely remake the chapter

>> No.52997331

>>52990391
Damn, I think I missed it.

>> No.52997433
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52997433

>> No.52999783

Which chuubas are gacha addicts again?

>> No.52999887
File: 1.84 MB, 1703x1820, 1641980740952.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
52999887

>>52999783
This dingus

>> No.53000531
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53000531

>>52999783

>> No.53002717

>>53000531
>they literally had to put safeguards on her company credit card to prevent her from maxing it out an gatcha

Suityan...

>> No.53005628

>>52996579
Happens to the best of us.
But look at it this way, Anon. There's nothing quite like using a scene you've been aching to insert into the story.

>> No.53009464
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53009464

>>52939464
Councilrys collab that starts as a joke and ends in a messy orgy

>> No.53009610
File: 146 KB, 200x200, 1686263707044001.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53009610

Live!

>> No.53012079

>>53009610
I want to be licked by Koyori.

>> No.53014464

>>52999783
Anya, and anyone who was a part of the Rust Gamblers club

>> No.53016927

>>53009610
Licky lick, Koyori slit

>> No.53019179
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53019179

>> No.53019641
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53019641

>>53019179
I love the dichotomy between the badass killer that Calli tries to portray herself as, and the autistic dork that she actually is. I wish she had more fluff stories.

>> No.53019669

>>53019641
I really wish Calli would go away and never come back. That would be a great fic (and reality)

>> No.53019857

>>53019669
Agreed.

>> No.53019917

>>53019669
>>53019857
oh fuck the both of you

>> No.53021149
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53021149

>>53019917

>> No.53021548

>>53019641
I have a rough outline for a Calli romance I hope to write one day. Her gap moe really is the best. And don't even get me started on the pajama outfit...

>> No.53022914

>>53009610
I'm surprised we don't have more fics about sex with Koyori coming out of her using a shady new chemical.

>> No.53023191 [DELETED] 

NIJI DEFLECTION THREAD

>> No.53024121

>>53023191
Deflecting for years
Well done boys, we did it

>> No.53024134

>>53023191
Every thread is a niji deflection thread if you're coping hard enough

>> No.53026297
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53026297

>> No.53026876

>>53026297
Queen

>> No.53027195

>>53026876
I know the white hair can be confusing, but Elizabeth definitely didn't look like that.

>> No.53028390

So anons, what's a concept you'd like to give a spin?

>Robocco is built by her master, a crazed anon who desperately tried to bring his wife back to life. He goes insane when he realizes the human soul can be broken down into zeroes and ones and then reprograms his wife from scratch. Robocco doesn't know it.

>> No.53028406
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53028406

>>52984923
Providing feedback from earlier after finally reading it.
Your storytelling capability is very solid, your prose naturally gripping. The pace of your writing can't help but pull the reader into its inexorable grasp, all the way to the end. I was completely enthralled from the first paragraph. I don't think there's any constructive criticism I can offer here, as you're leaps and bounds ahead of me. With that being said, I'd like to mention the sex scenes; rather than have any lengthier individual scene, you've split up the sex into shorter scenes and entwined them with the narrative. As a result, there's no real singular area where the reader can match the throes of passion that they're reading about, as each scene is too short and requires too much attention, as they each serve a purpose beyond simple titillation; the relationship expands and progresses, with much emphasis on how quickly the siblings fall into lust after that fateful evening shower session.
It's still an improvement over Auntie's Little Secret in the technical aspects, however, and whilst in my humblest of opinions your smut could become much more erotic by lengthening a scene and giving it some disconnect from the flow of the narrative, I certainly don't want you reading this and thinking that you didn't do a good job.
My biggest piece of criticism is thus - this Fubuki isn't Fubuki. Normally I'm quite lax about the inclusion and flanderisation of certain character traits in order to emphasize a chuuba's identity, but here... this really isn't Fubuki! She's much too blunt and not enough cheeky. It'd be a pretty decent Suisei, though.
That still didn't stop me from shooting ropes to the story, though. Well done and kudos.

>> No.53028791

>>53028390
>Ayame is a battle-loving oni, but she's lived such a sheltered life that she's never actually killed anyone, or been in a situation where she might die. One or both of the above happens, and her proud-warrior facade shatters and she breaks down in tears

>> No.53029026
File: 423 KB, 954x1273, 106411422_p0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53029026

And now I'm off to dream dreams of fucking my fox sister, no doubt. Goodnight.

>> No.53029658

>>53028406
>As a result, there's no real singular area where the reader can match the throes of passion that they're reading about
Could you expand more on this?

>your smut could become much more erotic by lengthening a scene
I get this quite a lot. From day one I've known that my sex scenes are too short. I guess I just don't like pure smut. I don't usually dwell on it too much since I tend to consider the act a way to forward the plot.
In a sense, you could grab any of my fics, replace the sex scenes with a "And then they FUCKED, the end." and it would still be the same more or less.
Then again, I like it when people jerk it to my works, so I'll pick up a scrapped scene from one of my fics and just write a lengthier smut scene.

>this really isn't Fubuki!
Guilty!

Thanks for the read anon, and thanks for your feedback. 'ppreciate it

>> No.53030049

>>53028390
I think I said this once as a joke but
>rrat!ayame awakens her warrior spirit/lust for battle by way of children's card games.
Basically I think it would be a funny little comedy fic about rrat!ayame becoming just a little more like an oni in an unconventional way.

>> No.53030633

>>53030049
>Go to a whorehouse
>Ask for Ayame
>Teach her how to play Yu-gi-oh
>Play with an oni dressed lingerie as she tryhards

>> No.53030666

>>53029658
So here I'm attempting to describe... well, basically how you might lose track of the world around you during a wank, hyperfocusing on the words in front of you and rapidly producing and following a scene in your mind. It's much harder to do with this work because none of the scenes were lengthy enough to zone out to; they weren't the bare minimum of smut by any means, but they could benefit greatly from more detail on what's happening and the sensations being felt. Before you know it, the plot has moved forward and you need to focus again on plot points that you can't jerk off to.
With that being said, my favourite was definitely the final scene as it had a sort of culminative effect, the relationship in full bloom.
Your choice of words isn't bad at all and I have a particular fondness for the ways you've described semen dripping out of Fubuki's no-no spot.

I sort of understand where you're coming from in that the scenes could be replaced with the textual equivalent of a fade-to-black; but at the same time if you had done so for this fic, even with the same implications, there'd be a massive loss in atmosphere, a much shallower understanding of just how sordid the siblings have become and as a result, a less impactful empathetic response. I find it quite enticing - their relationship is so damaged that I feel genuinely sad thinking about it, but mildly jealous and wistful at the same time. That I'm thinking of it at all after reading the fic is a sign it stuck with me, and I doubt it would have had the same impact if the sex wasn't there.

Again, thanks for the read and the wank, homie. Going to bed for realsies now.

>> No.53031045

>>53030666
Checked, but you made me think about cum tributes for a fanfic.

>> No.53032786

>>52968121
She's too excited to be this scary

>> No.53033941

>>52955613
Why is that sheep so smug?!

>> No.53035786
File: 446 KB, 459x581, 1657866996292.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53035786

So what fics have you been reading anons? Your thoughts on them?

>> No.53036810

>>52939464
After much deliberation, Suisei finally decides to dye her hair black. (You) are her manager and try to convince her to undo it since the blue hair is part of her brand.

>> No.53037195
File: 70 KB, 128x128, Fubudodge.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53037195

>>52984923
This one-shot felt like, for lack of a shorter term, "a series in miniature" rather than a pure one-shot. It's like every timeskip could have been its own chapter in a smut series.
Anyway this entire thing kind of feels like that all throughout due to that feeling so all the moments of 'telling' feel like abrdiging scenes from a non-existent chapter or arc to try and make it all fit into one document.
Honestly, concept wise I feel like if you were going to make this a one-shot you should have started from the homecoming then made the plot about the resparked incest with flashbacks to the past with the big climax being in making one big sex scene with flashbacks rather than this split up approach that doesn't really make a satisfying climax both narratively and erotically.
Also I have to agree with that other anon that this really doesn't feel like either Lore Fubuki or Chuuba Fubuki, and genuinely could have been a Watame or a Suisei fic. You really should have put in more details even if it was surface level or hell done some play involving her tail or ears, anything to make it a Fubuki story rather than just a generic incest fic with not enough chuuba flavor. Like yeah "Auntie's Little Secret" also suffers from this but the little flavor added there keep it working as a fanfic. Here the "Abridged" nature of it kind if means it's trimmed of that flavor and fat that would have made it a good Fubuki fic.
Overall rather mediocre edging on meh one-shot that's a half-decent incest story and a Fubuki In Name Only fanfic. Would probably have made a pretty good series but that ship has sailed.
Now for some minor quibbles... giving the bride a name is probably better than nothing but honestly I feel like she should have gotten something more; usually you can write these taboo smut themese well but due to her being basically non-existent the only thing there at the end is incest rather than cheating. I know this is because of the shorthand way this fic is told but come on.

>> No.53037380

>>53035786
I recently gave Lost and Found a read. I'm quite a fan, even if the beginning was a little rocky. Also Towa donta Smoka.

>> No.53037605

>>52939464
Reverse corrupting a slutty chuuba and making her appreciate platonic vanilla things couples do.

>> No.53038041

>>53036810
For some this made me think of knocking out Suisei and having to drag her to Koyori and Laplus
>Koyori, this is bad. I need 50cc's of Laplus' blood now
>"Haa? Why?"
>"She's starting to stop believing in vtubers. I need a fresh injection of chuuni right from a pure source if we want to save her."

>> No.53038381

>>53037195
>resparked incest with flashbacks to the past
I'll protest here. I've done such before and it just didn't work, so I didn't try to juggle something that I wasn't comfortable working with.
>Fubuki In Name Only fanfic
I'll take this at heart. The reason I wrote this fic was because I have problems finishing my stories, so I just aimed for something that I could give an ending to and I wanted fox sex. Warm up and practice.
Same with the bride, the sole purpose she served was being there. I didn't intent for this to be anything too grand simply because I would've fallen on the same loophole I've falln before with my other fics.

If anything, what I can salvage from this fic is that I've got my technique down but I have to learn how to direct it somewhere else.

Thanks for the insightful feedback anon. Appreciate it deeply.

>> No.53039448

>>53038381
If anything the lesson here is that you need to either commit to making a spicy plot or a pure smut fic as while your best work comes about when your plot and smut intersect; in something with a limited word count like this you, specifically you the writer of this, can't really seem to do both.
This fic was kind of unfocused and tried to do the kind of things you can only really do with the word count of a series. Maybe next time shoot for something simpler? Or if you still want to handle another taboo topic maybe something more cliche so you don't have to spend the first two third playing setup?

>> No.53040501

>>53039448
>Maybe next time shoot for something simpler?
I'm on it, actually. Going back to my roots.
>maybe something more cliche
I don't want to turn to clichés, but I knew that I'd find myself at their doorstep sooner or later.

>> No.53040842
File: 130 KB, 990x947, MEME BAE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53040842

>>53037380
Thanks a lot for the encouragment. i have ideas for the third chapter but im triying to piece them together.
Bae's EP once again made me rethink some of the story beats i have planned

>> No.53041859

>>53038041
>unintentionally starting COMPLETE GLOBAL LAPIFICATION to save Suisei
The road to hell truly is paved with good intentions

>> No.53044419

>>53041859
Imagine if everyone was Laplus, except for you.

>> No.53044829
File: 766 KB, 400x500, That changes stuffs[sound=files.catbox.moe%2Fd9h6pp.mp3].webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53044829

>>53044419
That sounds...concerning

>> No.53045054
File: 198 KB, 394x362, baeby....png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53045054

>>53038041
>A world where Idols operate on tinkerbell logic, where they start to de-color, lose their animal features and slowly regress to humans if people dont believe in them

>> No.53046454
File: 1.02 MB, 768x960, 1683757013545435.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53046454

I never knew this thread was a thing. Here's something I wrote for shits and giggles. For context, the girl is a kusogaki who sometimes gives off this domme vibe. The protagonist is one of her simps.
---

Yof ran through dimly lit corridors, her chains rattling and echoing far off into the distance. She was frantically looking for a door, but the layout of the underground compound wasn't helping. Making split-second decisions to turn left or right, she kept going. Her heart was racing and her lungs were burning but she couldn't stop now, her pursuer couldn't be far behind.

She took a right turn and finally came across a well-lit hallway that lead to a wooden door. She remembered the door from when she first arrived at this place, foolishly by her own will. At the time she had taken notice of the door, ornate on both sides with symbols of the night sky and some instruments of torture here and there. That memory seemed so distant now that for a moment she wasn't quite sure it hadn't been a dream. Yet the door from her memory was standing right in front of her eyes. She had no time to waste now.

She quickly took the key ring in her hand and got to work. "Open up, damn it", she said as she desperately tried every key she had in her hands, which had to number at least a dozen. One by one she tried and one by one she had to discard. Her hands were trembling as she inserted the last one into the keyhole. With a heavy heart she realized that it wouldn't budge, had she missed a key in her desperation? She was about to try every key again when she heard movement behind.

At first she couldn't see anything, as her pursuer was still in the dimly lit corridor that lead up to this hallway. The first thing she noticed was the burning red eye looking right at her. The light conditions didn't allow it but she knew the bright blue eye was staring intently at her, too. Then she heard the giggle which in another time would have brought her immense joy, but now seemed menacing and terrifying.

"Did you really think I would let the keys laying around like that?", said a voice from what appeared to be a girl of small stature, but which Yof knew was something else entirely. Something ancient and primordial. The girl moved towards Yof with the confidence of a predator who knows it has its prey cornered. As she stepped into the light, her grey hair and facial features were revealed. Her expressionless face didn't reveal any intentions but Yof knew now not to be deceived by this. The girl had to be angry, why wouldn't she be? Defeated, Yof fell to her knees and looked up to her tormentor.

"You know I have to punish you now, don't you?", the girl said.

"Nisha please", Yof replied, her voice breaking. "Not the cage".

"We'll see", she replied, and all went dark...

>> No.53047098

>>52884351
I know I’m late but please keep going. Autistically piecing together stories/timelines by finding hints and references are a guilty pleasure of mine.
t. Long time Zelda fan

>> No.53047346

>>53046454
Well shit, what a coincidence, I got a stream by this Nisha girl recommended to me today. The story is a little short to say much about and doesn’t tell me a lot about her, but what’s she like?

>> No.53049067
File: 585 KB, 1061x1200, MoriMask.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53049067

>>53019641
I really ought to write Mori fluff, all my WIPs and outlines involving her aren't

>> No.53049140

>>53046454
You should continue the story, I want to see what kind of cage it is.

>> No.53049437

>>53047098
Technically (granted there's no conflicting character overlaps), if you were to reference another story by a different author as an actual event in your own fic, would that make it canon to the universe of your story? Would you need the other author's permission? Or can you just consider it an event that canonically happened in your story?

>> No.53051166

>>53044419
Sounds like a very bratty version of Saya no Uta.

>> No.53051702

>>52939434
No idea if anyone would have any interest in these. Noticed some of the Mori stuff from /hlgg/ was archived and figured maybe I'd post some of these old ass greentexts I wrote on /jp/ what feels like forever ago now.
Most of them have the exact same tags: NSFW and (predominantly) smell fetish. Some just straight, others lesbian, one futa
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSheg47caEeO_dmewrprCDjGBCeTy7u6j5Dx4Arfx7hxsn2jEX7gJyDjdadzQBndFCMDiuHwwaYlKR9/pub
Civia's first YT stream. Tags: NSFW, smell fetish, threesome
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSvjm-VkZk5jNaUHRbpdIAu6K2aZz4JNU0G9KCvho_HrBNQP_omNsbeXq-0Y8r-JmY4ph4VHEmW0xU0/pub
Cleaning Up the Holohouse
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQpSH9H939p5yury2jt5WU9aY6c9st30l_kFpaCxoeomVEQwZ3FS-mvLvmft9CikruS7qulWsvYtDPE/pub
Coco Makes Up with Watame
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSRYYubDNp11KpFyg66GyVLHQnkUYatJmkv8tQFNg54Pc5LHF9EUQ1UQ5UG4RrH6dm9Cq-mWP_K-J0y/pub
Coco Shion 3D Collab
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRNdmS5JvI-XCH8WSG-jedP12ro_tXmYeRxHXdInP4KECLox9Y_V_cwZtNu_mpPkBzUqluGLn5Xo5_F/pub
Coco Spears Kanata. Extra tags for this one: Futa, abuse
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSG9qee3phkVO66dAlWDPe-j1tku8xKAtZPULo-ekQ3iE7B6zwtO_HrDdhQL9EbFw5ifJFos_IJ8U7Z/pub
Haato Comes Home, Tags: lesbian, domming
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQStkZOmaFHWlVRlC03M1KvdNyoMnkB4JPhIspXRuh1VjNg7gSnK12HyWLG6BpR1kSuy3xMat2gz5sx/pub
Holohouse's New Roommate (You)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTivWySLp9nHuUHYxdGo8DWCe0T_SJnWNfc-l4pgOYh5-nNDarMgojk3uzUXsj_NG5aXcHrq6VvserP/pub
Meeting Lamy
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRLexAQWibiMeK0Yf6WkKXTraPjjhI0KmIzWsnUHz58ZTJVPKyywezoa6bQdmFJTi4L08zWcPQq8hqi/pub
The Dragon's Punishment extra tag: lesbian
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTegShBXk8iAYa6BoTTzd5IwevPT4zcxR3sqVqmKogGaJ4R_VHFcs8lug5U1LD8jW-BRG5XxveZenxV/pub
What Really Happened Before the Shion Marine Tennis Collab. extra tag: lesbian
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQc0sVedVK8aiqREob_bhtp6ZgCpbBYmDWVnMfsuvrgUH6kqdmCg3bf9alMbaj0rxyhNpEaVuJ5exDR/pub
full collection of Mori stories from the early days of /hlgg/ which were a collaborative effort between another anon and myself. Noticed there was only one of them in the archive so here's the rest.

>> No.53051869

>>53049437
I've always wanted some kind of crossover between different fic universes, especially with multiple Anons that find someone else with their name.

>> No.53052547

>>53047346
My kusogaki daughter
https://files.catbox.moe/xm3kya.mp4
https://files.catbox.moe/picfdh.mp4

>>53049140
I might. I did it just for shits and giggles, since in the general where we discuss Nisha we kinda joke about her simp Yof being an abused femboy.

>> No.53052911

>>53052547
Femboy? So it is a cock cage.

>> No.53053442

>>53051702
Oh nice. I compiled what I could find of these stories back in the day for the ringo archive, so it's good to officially have them all in one place now. Huge thanks for writing these

>> No.53053688

>>53047346
The only nisha i know is an ex wactor
>>53053442
Where is the ringo archive these days?

>> No.53055418
File: 1.40 MB, 1649x1437, Fubupeek2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53055418

>>52984923
First of all, I REALLY enjoyed this. I'd like to think that you either took my Lui prompt from last thread and made it Fubuki, or had basically the same idea at roughly the same time - both of which would be based.
The piece shines really at the beginning, where the couple discovers and explores their forbidden feelings, all fueld by this setting of co-dependence caused by their circumstances in life. You sell that one really well, to the point where them turning to incest is almost rational, as fucked up as that sounds.
I do agree however that the smut scenes could've been switched for one big erotic piece and a few "fade to blacks" instead of these smut-snippets, I'd call them. Fubuki's lack of characterization has also been mentioned already.
Besides that, I really felt like the story lost its edge in the second half. All difficulties are gone just like that. The alcoholic mother and the absent father are suddenly home and act like perfectly normal parents. No mention of the time dad caught his kids doing each other. Not only is no risk of their affair presented - it changes nothing. Anon still marries, his wife and everyone else non the wiser.
Sad Genuine Smile was a lot better in that regard, because the affair actually had an effect - namely mind breaking Towa and making her a cuckqueen. This way it just felt really... harmless. It watered down the desperate love and lust between Fubu and Anon that was described earlier, making the affair seem almost like a casual fling.
The interactions between the two didn't help either. They suddenly "playfully insult" each other like two bros at a barbecue when before they had been nothing but loving and tender in their interactions. There's also not even a shred of guilt during the "rekindling" which, again, makes it seem too casual and takes out any emotional impact of the scene.
But for a OS to "hone your skills" this was a real banger and I'll revisit this story every now and then in the future, no doubt. Thanks, my man!

>> No.53056762

>>53055418
>There's also not even a shred of guilt during the "rekindling" which, again, makes it seem too casual and takes out any emotional impact of the scene.
NTA but I actually thought it was intentional. The complete lack of guilt over what they're doing suggests just how damaged the pair are, how absorbed they are in each other. A real Bonny and Clyde.

>> No.53058667
File: 179 KB, 480x480, smirking-face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53058667

>>53052911

>> No.53058702

>>53044419
Sounds like I'll have to impregnate a lot of them to keep civilization alive.

>> No.53058796

>>53030633
That sounds both hot and wholesome, especially if you get the other whores involved for a fun tournament and they end up doing it for free.

>> No.53058809

>>53051702
>11 stories in one thread
HOLY FUCK /wg/ INCLINE?!

>> No.53059594

>>53055418
I did steal your Lui prompt, so thanks for it!

Aside from the points that others have mentioned already.
>he alcoholic mother and the absent father are suddenly home and act like perfectly normal parents
I guess we look at it differently then. The house the two lived in was humble, and it did mention bits of work by their dad. The parents are despondent because countryside kids often fend for themselves, but they're still parents and they love their kids.

>Dad caught his kids.
Yeah, I know. Wasn't that 'important' but it broke what Anon and Foobs had. That was its purpose.

>Anon still marries, everyone else non the wiser
Incest victims -or participants- do tend to move on with their lives. It becomes a forbidden subject to touch. I wished for Anon marrying as a sign that he pretends nothing ever happened.

>They suddenly "playfully insult" each other like two bros at a barbecue
I will not back you up on this one. Siblings act like little shits around each other all the time in good fun. If there's no bullying, there's no love.

>It felt really harmless.
Again, I know. I didn't wish to write anything too convoluted or grand, simply because I need to get better at getting to a tangible ending with my stories.

>"rekindling" which, again, makes it seem too casual
What>>53056762 said.

Thanks for the read, and thanks for the feedback! I hope to steal more prompts from you in the future.

>> No.53060967

>>52942415
Sex with the hags pt 2
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRzHevwK2XihAiifbR781HnisOCxf1pDTZz7s0lO7tyiun-rwqdleSGyjVvvrTUXMLHbgYAIS8HawbO/pub

>> No.53061356

>>53059594
>but they're still parents and they love their kids
I get that you had to get the parents out of the house for the whole premise to work and the way you went about dad is perfectly fine, but making the mom an alcoholic while still intending her to come off as a likable "loving mother at heart" later down the road might have not been the best choice. Untreated addicts rarely care for anything but their addiction. That might be my personal experience speaking though.

>I wished for Anon marrying as a sign that he pretends nothing ever happened
but the ending implies that both he and Fubuki clearly do not intend to "pretend that nothing happened", but plan on continuing the affair anyways? It also clashes with >>53056762 as "pretending nothing happened" would imply an underlying feeling of guilt and not the total lack thereof. It's just a bit inconsistent in that regard, I think.

>Siblings act like little shits around each other all the time in good fun
I know. That wasn't the problem as I saw it. It was that they interacted this particular way for the first time in the story - supposedly after not seeing each other for 10 years at that - making it feel like a whole new set of characters interacting.

Feel free to take any prompts by all means - that's what they're there for!

>> No.53062131

>>53061356
>making the mom an alcoholic while still intending her to come off as a likable "loving mother at heart"
Agree to disagree.

>the ending implies that both he and Fubuki clearly do not intend to "pretend that nothing happened"
Fair point.

>It was that they interacted this particular way for the first time in the story
Another fair point, I can't excuse myself since the story was as short as it was.

>> No.53062561

>>53053688
I thought ringo was still banished to /d/? Though I'm not sure if the thread is still alive over there, last I check it wasn't doing so hot even if the board is slow over there.

>> No.53066072

>>53051702
Surreal seeing a Civia story.

>> No.53066884
File: 2.00 MB, 1320x1736, 94f8dd8e64776a7c1c4d76d60a997f4f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53066884

>>52939434
Since the day my sun died.

https://rentry.org/yhidc

Tags: Momosuzu Nene, SFW, depression.

Here's a short fic about a prompt that was posted months ago about Nenechi losing her genki energy. Felt like giving it a spin.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

>> No.53070962
File: 484 KB, 688x921, 1682205786413838.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53070962

Back up you go.

>> No.53071138

>>53066884
Damn that was as good gut punch, I do think it was a TAD over dramatic, but it works really well.
I love the last bit, the
>"At the same time, I hope that you know peace, because Nenechi wouldn’t want me to hold grudges"
was amazing, really.
Keep the good work! i love them sad stories

>> No.53071701
File: 1.59 MB, 850x1200, 1675748786453261.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53071701

>>53066884
I was not ready for that. It hurts to see my wife Nene sad and not her true self. You had some powerful sentences in there anon, and your setup was pretty decent. Good stuff! I'm even more motivated to give the super Nenechi the best scenes I can in coming chapters, so thanks for the story and the motivation!

>> No.53075757

Live!

>> No.53076043

>>53045054
I mean in a way isn't that how vtubers work in real life?

>> No.53077014

>>52939464
A story based on Black Souls were Leaf is Mori and she's called Mori Sue.

>> No.53079684

>>53053688
https://rentry.org/ringotext

>> No.53080847

>>53077014
Kek, we already got a story based on Black Souls

>> No.53081007

>>53080847
Really? Name?

>> No.53081166

>>53081007
Paradise Lost

>> No.53081303
File: 19 KB, 480x360, 1674967170800281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53081303

>>53081166
Anon, you cheeky little devil

>> No.53081372

>>53066884
Shit… this hit me pretty hard. It was basically the perfect length for what you were trying to achieve, although I think the part where Anon finds broken Nene could have been more explored. Great writing though, your prose can be like poetry sometimes.

>> No.53082089
File: 179 KB, 311x483, 1688863377164957.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53082089

>>53066884
The first half was so cute and sweet, but the entire time I had this feeling of dread, knowing what was coming. It made it hurt all the worse when everything fell apart.
It's a good story. But now I think I need to go for a walk.

>> No.53082999

>>53071138
>>53071701
>>53082089

Thanks for the read!
>>53081372

>Your prose can be like poetry sometimes
Thank you so much! It's what I like to aim for when I write i first person, so it means a lot to me that someone picked up on it and that I did it well enough for them to do so.

>> No.53083888

>>53081166
There was nothing black or soulsy about that at all....

>> No.53084977
File: 412 KB, 2954x1895, 1688544081143095.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53084977

Out of every 10 stories posted...
> How many do you read?
> How many do you review?
> How many do you read till the end?
> How many do you usually enjoy?

>> No.53085638

>>53084977
>
Like, 8? Depends on the tags quite a lot. If the first few paragraphs are well written and are enough to grab my attention, I’ll keep reading. Out of the 8 stories I click on I usually drop about 3, which leave 5 stories I read all the way through.
>
Out of the 5, about 4 I’ll leave a review.
>
As I said, about 5 for every 10 stories posted.
>
It actually depends quite a lot on the prose quality. I can get behind almost any genre barring stuff like scat or futa, so it’s mostly about how well written a story is for me to enjoy it. Out of the 5 I read to the end, maybe like 3-4? It’s hard to leave a review for a story a didn’t like.

>> No.53086616

>>53084977
0
0
0
0

>> No.53086728

>>53084977
> How many do you read?
Honestly like 3 or 4, it depends on the tags and premise desu.
> How many do you review?
I leave a review for everything I read
> How many do you read till the end?
All of them
> How many do you usually enjoy?
Usually all of them, even ones that are rough around the edges have things about them that I like or enjoy.

>> No.53089257
File: 155 KB, 850x551, smugnessmama.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53089257

>> No.53089334
File: 206 KB, 680x1067, 1686976102503553.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53089334

Bump

>> No.53089485

>>53066884
Very nice!
Is this line from something:
>That girl was in love with life itself, I was in love with how in love she was with life.
? It feels very familiar and wonderful. If it's your creation, beautiful work.
The telling of that first visit to her home was also well done, felt like a pretty natural progression and unfolding.
I think you misunderstand the meaning of aloof, Nene (either in this portrayal or on stream) is anything but aloof, aloofness is a sort of emotional distance or haughtiness. Perhaps you mean something like absent-minded, or witless? This doesn't take away from the story, your meaning gets across, I just thought you might like to know that.
The conclusion feels a bit inconclusive, as a reader I expected Anon (Ymous made me kek) to fight a bit harder for her given the impact she had on him. Or perhaps an epilogue a few years later, when she's an adult. or a more definitive end to her story. I understand that a short and sweet story is a good thing and that might make it a bit too long though.
Overall, I rate Rhinoceros Beetle/10

>> No.53089489 [DELETED] 

>>53089334
I already bumped. Please delete.

>> No.53091405
File: 804 KB, 1378x2011, nenepeek.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53091405

Did you read Super Date with Nenechi? What did you think of it?

>> No.53091708
File: 51 KB, 815x795, 1666243811295281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53091708

>>53091405
No.

>> No.53091828

https://archive.palanq.win/vt/search/filename/1666243811295281.jpg/
terrible

>> No.53092101
File: 110 KB, 304x347, 1688683207920934.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53092101

>>53091828
>reddit-tier post history

>> No.53092972

>>53091405
I took one look to make sure it was one of your commisions then skipped it.
I've been burned by your mediocre shit enough that I'm not giving you any more chances.

>> No.53094318

>>53081007
He's probably talking about the one with the fairy companion

>> No.53094803

>>53091405
Stop blatantly shilling it and I might.

>> No.53094899

>>53094803
No you won't, anon.

>> No.53094930

>>53094899
You’re right, I won’t. The shilling is still annoying though.

>> No.53095557

>>53091405
Imagine selling out your hobby for money

>> No.53095809

I don't get the hate towards commissions. It's not like minimal effort is put into them just because money is involved.

>> No.53096005

>>53095809
Shhh.... let them at it.

>> No.53096168

>>53095809
I don't hate commisions. I just specifically hate that one author since pekofag's characterization is in a weird uncanny valley where he gets their mannerisms right but not their core character, alongside him brushing off any critique towards his work.
So I've made the decision to just not read any of his works and not give any comments on them anymore. Don't feel bad for him, he's literally getting paid for it and it's not like his commissioner holds him to any high standards of quality.

>> No.53096265

>>53096168
>I just specifically hate that one author since pekofag's characterization is in a weird uncanny valley where he gets their mannerisms right but not their core character, alongside him brushing off any critique towards his work.
Do you write yourself or just read? Not looking to throw stones in this discussion, but you're being downright unfair.
What is he supposed to do? Apologize and beg for your forgiveness that you perceive his depiction as mischaracterization?

>> No.53096332

>>53095809
So did you read it?

>> No.53096357

>>53095809
There's not much actual hate against comissions, just shitposting. If you ever see very short posts shitting on something in /wg/, it's safest to assume they're not sincere.

>> No.53096373

>>53096265
>What is he supposed to do?
Not be smug about it, but given that he's been roleplaying a chuuni edgelord here for like years at this point that ain't changing.
Yes, I do write myself and I have also posted here before so don't use that to brush off what I'm saying.

>> No.53096459

>>53096332
No, but I'll give it a pity read later because of the hate.

>> No.53096544

What do you call this position?

https://files.catbox.moe/rfgv30.jpg

>> No.53096633

>>53096544
Suisex, Variation No. 37

>> No.53096995

>>53096544
Suicannon Firing Mode: B

>> No.53097097

>>53095809
Commissions generally turn out worse than stories born from genuine creativity, but that’s not bad enough to hate them. I don’t hate bad stories. I hate when people beg for commissions in the thread every chance they get.

>> No.53097157

>>53097097
There's only one fag that begs for commissions here.

>> No.53097731

>>53095809
Commissions are fine, MWAnon did them for a while. I just don’t read pekofag’s stories. He made it clear in the past that he only values the commissioner’s opinion, so why bother?

>> No.53097769

>>53097157
Exactly.

>> No.53097819

>>53084977
Something like
3
2
3
2

>> No.53098729

>>53091828
This is why I always change filenames.

>> No.53098827

>>53098729
In 4chanX there's an option so that the filename for your image is changed to a random number based on what date it is

>> No.53099446

>>53084977
Something like...
7 7 7 5
Anything I read in thread I at least try to give feedback even if it's just a short paragraph of thoughts made as I read. Though note this would probably drop down to something like 3 3 3 2 if you include series fics I haven't caught up on yet since I haven't really caught up to either holojourneys or balsa.

>> No.53099503
File: 3.05 MB, 1514x2456, 107796041_p0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53099503

>> No.53100529

>>53098827
That's what I was referring to.

>> No.53100557 [DELETED] 

Guess who just came :)

I did ;)

>> No.53100696

>>53066884
That was very good. I think ymous (it made me laugh but it's clever) is a little hammy first and he's clearly not over himself but i suppose it makes sense in context.
I liked that your answer to the manic pixie dream girl was to get her on medication. Usually they get turned into awful catty bitches who are every bit as broken as the male main, or just all around awful people working an angle.

Anyway, i liked it. Good job, keep it up

>> No.53101056

>>53096544
>when you want to get in gymnastics practice but don't want to neglect your girlfriend's needs

>> No.53101560

>>53089485
Thanks for the read! I'll fix the aloof issue right away.
I'm 90% sure I stole the line from somewhere, but the paraphrasing is mine.
>The conclusion feels a bit inconclusive
That's its purpose. Sometimes no closure is a form of closure, and anon never knew what truly happened to Nene.
>>53100696
Thanks for the read as well!

>> No.53101789

>>53101560
hey anon,

i didn't read your story but I'm jealous that you're giving out (you)s to others. can you please give me a (you) as well.

kind regards,
anon

>> No.53102595

>>53089257
Wait a second, girls aren't supposed to kiss!

>> No.53102688
File: 132 KB, 767x648, nenesad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53102688

>>53100696
I don't really have much more to add that everyone else hasn't already said. The prose you've made is actually fucking beautiful, perfect for a one-shot like this.
Honestly my only real problem is that the 'no closure' ending doesn't really work; if 'he never found out what happened' maybe she should have moved away or something because the tone feels like it's 'still happening' rather than 'something from the past'. Maybe the ending would have worked if you had an intro to establish this was all a memory but as is it's kind of like a story stopping before the ending; it feels less like it was ending and more like it was the starting point to a revenge plot since the narration still feels 'recent'.
Other than that this is a pretty solid one-shot, maybe it could have explored nene on meds some more but it's a solid 8/10 that trips at the end.

>> No.53103147

>>53102688
>maybe she should have moved away
Oh, that was my intention. Adding that missing detail now.

I take the comments about the intro at heart, so I'll fix that as well.

Thanks for the read!

>> No.53103202

>>53084977
>How many do you read?
Depends on the tags
>How many do you review?
All. Even the most dogshit of fics deserve feedback, otherwise their authors will never learn.
>How many do you read till the end?
Almost all, at least if they're not too long.
>How many do you usually enjoy?
Like 60% of them.

>> No.53103719
File: 47 KB, 367x494, 1671826853923534.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53103719

>>53084977
I likely read 8-9 of 10. There are some festishes and things I just don't vibe with.
Everything I read I review. I love letting the author know what I thought, what I think they did well, what they could do better, and to thank them for writing.
I gotta read all of them to the end or I can't review them properly.
I haven't read a story I didn't actually enjoy in some capacity in a while. Even if the edges are rough on some, there's plenty of things to enjoy.

>> No.53104155

>>53084977
> How many do you read?
2 to 3. I usually want to read things in one sitting, so I go for one-shots mostly.
> How many do you review?
I review all the stuff that I've read.
> How many do you read till the end?
If I picked the fic for reading, I read all of it to the end.
> How many do you usually enjoy?
Thankfully all the fics I've read here have been enjoyable so far.

>> No.53104942

>>53102595
You've never seen a mother and a daughter kiss?

>> No.53105009

Which two Anon protagonists of /wg/ fics would make for an interesting meeting/crossover?

>> No.53105481

>>53104942
But why are they naked?!

>> No.53105540

>>53105481
Not him, but don't you know that parents bathe with their children?

>> No.53105755
File: 722 KB, 1043x1170, 1671890854421709.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53105755

>>53096168
>>53096373
>>53097731
>>53091708
>>53092972
Is that the case then? I see. Well, then.

>> No.53105813

>>53105540
But why are they kissing the in the shower?!

>> No.53106015

>>53105813
Are they in the shower? I think they're just naked at home like a nudist family.

>> No.53107822

>>53105009
seeing the anons from holofantasy and holocalypse meet was fun. even if they spent most of their time together beating the shit out of each other.
I also think it'd be funny to see the anons from our cures and cover high meet. I feel like they'd bond over their complicated relationships with their respective love interests

>> No.53107928

>>53107822
>I also think it'd be funny to see the anons from our cures and cover high meet. I feel like they'd bond over their complicated relationships with their respective love interests
This sounds good, add a foursome in there and ship it.

>> No.53109009

>>53105009
I feel like the anons of HF and HJ could have a fun bonding conversation over their adventures and the idea of different beings living inside them essentially. HJanon would also freak the fuck out and love exploring Argomery. I can also imagine him asking HFanon how to actually beat Noel.

>> No.53109084

>>53109009
>"I just hit her really hard until she stopped fighting."
>"...What?"

>> No.53112017

>>53105009
The Fly

>> No.53112100 [DELETED] 

>>52939464
Making a retarded chuuba drink your cum because you've convinced her that it'll help make her smarter.

>> No.53112725

>>53112100
There's already a Laplus fic with basically that exact premise except the cum is supposed to make her more powerful instead of smarter.

>> No.53112751
File: 3.61 MB, 2700x3600, 1688717399127050.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53112751

>>52939434
The beginnings of a new project.

COVER Corp. Talent Security Division, Prologue

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRNOLX0UwxRzNJqYJluyVDAuh048gjdtC-pGJ5pjZeiZw1xCeQVpraWS-nUDBEWXPdGd4-HdmAxqlrU/pub

Tags: Yagoo, SFW

>> No.53112884

>>53112725
I deleted it then since you said it was already done.

>> No.53113296

>>53112751
Not too much I can say about a prologue, but it's well written and I'm really interested to see where you take this. It's good to see an Anon that actually takes his meds

>> No.53115791 [DELETED] 

live

>> No.53117759

>>53109084
To be fair that's how most fights end.

>> No.53119390

>>53109084
>"This underground city's incredible...say, how old's the queen again?"
>"No."
>"What!? I'm just curi-"
>"No."

>> No.53121765

Your favorite fics WILL be updated.
Don't lose hope.

>> No.53121989

>>53121765
It won't and I'm perfectly fine with that.

>> No.53122079

>>53121989
It WILL
you just really have to beeleeb it.

>> No.53122459
File: 140 KB, 850x1203, AyameBunny.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53122459

>>53121765
As fun as the discussion was for what Our Cures 2: The Second Cure could be, ultimately I agreed that it would be unnecessary

>> No.53123442

>>53122459
Bunny Ojou.... my dick........

>> No.53123785
File: 456 KB, 835x1508, AyameBunny2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53123785

>>53123442
too sex

>> No.53123945
File: 1.43 MB, 1500x1086, 1670611673889.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53123945

I'm fine with any kind of Ayame, I just need her to look at me like this

>> No.53124274
File: 3 KB, 240x210, Best Boy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53124274

>>53112751
Consider me interested
We... will be watching

>> No.53124854

>>53112751
>Your fingers grope blindly in the hazy, half-formed facsimile of reality, before finally finding purchase around a familiar rectangular device. Like caught prey, its shrieking only seems to intensify as you reel it in and bring it to your face.
Beautiful. That's the kind of prose I aspire to write, evocative without verging into the flowery (which has its place as well, it just doesn't usually match the sentiment I am aiming for). Great use of the senses.
The 2011 event must refer to the eatsunami. What did the SDF do there? Search and rescue, I assume? Looking forward to the next part.

>> No.53125927
File: 2.91 MB, 1761x2740, 1635077733346.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53125927

I dreamt of sex with Fubuki last night!


...is what I'd like to say, but sadly isn't the case.

>> No.53127401

>>53123945
She looks like my balls are about to be demolished

>> No.53127726
File: 681 KB, 1261x1170, 1665142168209480.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53127726

>>53119390
Okay that made me laugh. Hide your hags, hide your wives, HJanon is coming to town. He would definitely start asking about all the details about dragons too.

>> No.53129735

>>53127726
But joining his harem might be their last chance...

>> No.53131647
File: 1.06 MB, 960x720, 1661645295807559.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53131647

>>53129735
Try as they might, they won't stay out of anon's natural pull towards older women who need a hero and sex.

>> No.53131700

>>53127726
Why is this sheep so smug?

>> No.53132831
File: 383 KB, 1538x2276, 1667972475795361.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53132831

>>53131700
Because she's a wandering bard of the highest caliber.
>Has the strongest legs and horns you've ever seen
>Can sing beautifully
>Always works hard
>Meanies fear her, lionesses want her
The list goes on, but you get the picture.

>> No.53133256

>>53132831
>Meanies fear her,
pffft

>> No.53139296

>>53133256
It's true, can confirm since I am a meanie

>> No.53141927
File: 309 KB, 1600x959, 1683968342587021.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53141927

>>53139296
Start running.

>> No.53144051

Favorite scenes in a fic?

>> No.53145031

>>53122459
I agree that it’s unnecessary, but I still would like to see a sequel. It’s not ‘needed’ per se and won’t be as good as the original, but I believe the author could still make it a very fun read. He proved that with the Christmas special.

>> No.53145473

>>53145031
So you're not willing to accept the ephemeral nature of something beautiful and refuse to let go.

>> No.53145916

>>53112751
I always felt that we needed more tactical(?) fics here.
This prologue is mysterious in all the right ways and I feel like it teases you enough to make you wonder about its potential. I'm very interested in seeing where this is going to go. I like your prose here as well, there's a kind of blunt elegance to it.

>> No.53146656

>>53145473
Look man I’m not an expert on this pretentious beauty shit you’re talking about, I just want more slutty oni shenanigans.

>> No.53146876

>>53091405
There's nothing with that name

>> No.53147051

>>53112751
Your prose is good enough that I'm willing to see more even if this chapter has basically told nothing and in all honesty probably should have been held up till the release of your first actual chapter.

>> No.53147206

>>53146876
Probably asked AA to remove it since no-one read it. Might be having a meltdown.

>> No.53148391
File: 50 KB, 994x561, Huh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53148391

>>53147206
>Pekofag has actually taken down his commisioned work from the archive
Didn't think it would ever happen.
Looks like they're still up on his ao3 if for some reason anyone wants to download them.

>> No.53148592

>>53112751
We’ve had a few introductions to stories like this, all of which I think have been dropped, so I really hope you end up being the one to stick around and show us something great. I agree with the other Anons in that your prose is good. I personally would ease up on the long, descriptive floweriness at times and get to the point, since it seemed to describe in extreme detail every single thing that entered into the story which ended up dragging it out. This is purely my opinion though, I’m sure other anons would prefer this, so take it with a grain of salt. As I said, it’s conventionally good.
The only other thing I have to say is the inner monologue felt like it was trying too hard to be cool. It wasn’t grating enough to take away from the story, but any more and this would’ve been my genuine criticism. Overall though, this is looking like some good shit. I eagerly await the next part.

>> No.53148647

>>53146876
There was yesterday. He probably had it taken down.

>> No.53148688

>>53148391
Wow. This is news to me.

>> No.53148789

>>53148592
NTA, but I interpreted this as the MC's American Psycho-like edgy positive affirmations gone overboard, or something like that. Assuming this ties into whatever makes the meds necessary. Could an interesting avenue to explore in the backstory. That's just my interpretation as a reader, though.

>> No.53148826

>>52939464
In the old wild west, poor Houshou Marine is dying to get laid. A sexless marriage with a closeted gay man leads to a divorce and working at a whorehouse lends her no customers after an eastern oni made her leave with nothing between her legs. She drowns her sorrows at the saloon, until she overhears talks about a dangerous man, Anon. An Outlaw from arizona who robbed a few trading caravans. Marine misinterprets what she hears about him having "A massive gun." and "Leaving people in wheelchairs."

So she seeks out this man, decided to make him rape her. Doing a better job than the authorities, she finds his hiding spot.

>> No.53148882

>>53148391
What's the deal with pekofag?
When I first joined the thread I just knew him for constantly pestering AA over loving him or some shit like that.

>> No.53148925

>>53148826
I'll just say this premise is hilarious as shit

>> No.53148941

>>53148882
That's a tale and a half.

>> No.53149238

>>53148391
The bugsex stories are gone, maybe he had a fight with bugfag

>> No.53149257

>>53091405
>>53105755
Honestly you should probably just stop signing your stuff in the docs themselves, there are other ways to advertise. It's like a signal light attracting those same three or four people every time to publicly shit on and denounce a fic before it's even read. If it's done anonymously, even if your writing style is pieced together, there's plausible deniability and they'll look like schizos to benign newfriends that just wanna read and review without bias

>> No.53149424

>>53149238
We haven't. He's a good friend of mine. This is news to me.

>> No.53149603 [DELETED] 

>>53148882
Super fucking abridged but basically he started to take commissions mostly from bugfag but allegedly he took commissions from other people. Anyway these commissions are what he's been doing for like two years at this point.
From what I can tell he's having a menhera moment due to his comms getting back to back middling reception, and unlike before where the fics got given a chance, he's actively getting ignored at this point by me a couple of other regular posters. I actually used to read his shit and comment on them but after getting burned by Blowing off stellar steam I just quit reading anything he signposts with his commision email.

>> No.53149680

>>53149603
Wait what was wrong with stellar steam, I thought that was a Suisei fic people liked

>> No.53150068

>>53148826
Any cowboy Anon should be referred to as the Man with No Name.

>> No.53150077

>>53149603
I don't think the constant and incessant public reminders on your parts of how you're all definitely not going to read any of his fics is doing anyone any favors, unless you truly hate him THAT much, It's at the point where I think people who would otherwise have read a fic see like four negative replies to everything he releases and silently move on, and that's sad to me

>> No.53150175

>>53150068
>The Man with no Blain

>> No.53150608

>>53148882
In the early days he made /wg/ threads almost impossible to visit because of his schizo chuuni bullshit. He eased up on it a bit but continued to start arguments for no fucking reason and try to get people to join in on his gay ERP. He had a few enablers, which made it worse. Eventually he stopped that as well, thankfully, but then started shilling his commissions every chance he got.
Even if he’s relatively harmless nowadays, people tend to hold grudges, which I understand.

>> No.53150731

>>53149680
Honestly it wasn't objectively bad I just got excited to read it then got disappointed by the characterization which kind of made the smut a letdown. It was more of a straw that broke the camel's back kind of thing since it made me think about how his fics were getting samey and that his aggressive shilling of his commisions was getting annoying.
>>53150077
The most I do is post the warning that it's a pekofag fic by way of looking for the commision email at the end, and I don't do that if anyone else has done it.

>> No.53151332

>>53150175
I've been riding through the desert on a horse with no blain.

>> No.53152490

>>53148826
you could also add some layers to it
>She barges in his hideout, Anon thinks she's here for a standoff and tells her to meet him at high noon
>Weird time for some fucking, but hey she's not complaining
>They meet, Marine is flirting while he thinks she's using every trick under the book to get him
>"Im searching for the future father of my children...you've seen him around these parts?"
>"Seen a lot of Men missy, not sure who you exactly looking for"
>Outlaws arrive, shootout
>Marine picks a rifle and starts shooting heads, desperate that her man is gonna die
>Anon thinks she's a headhunter in a quest for revenge
>Sheriff arrives
>Shit.
>Anon ties up marine and kidnaps her, she thinks they are eloping
>He just needs a hostage
and just keep piling em up

>> No.53152510

>>53149424
You two should have sex. As a total joke of course.

>> No.53152748
File: 222 KB, 1536x2048, MarineMarine.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53152748

>>53152490
Dense Treasure was pretty good, so a wild west version would probably be a lot of fun

>> No.53152772

>>53152490
I was thinking of writing her as a dork who tries to act all badass and cool trying to catch Anon but only gets herself in wacky scenarios.

>> No.53152927

>>53152490
>After days of unintended shenanigans they finally confront each other and marine manages to finally say she's here to get laid.
>The two of them finally come to understand what the other has been saying for the past week.
>Marine accidentally kills both of them.
>Fic ends with both of them dead, with marine remembered as the holy virgin that saved their small town from the depradations of the vile Anon.

>> No.53153172

>>53152772
hmm a part of me thinks that it would work better as a space pirate kind of story.
One where Marine is this dorky outlaw triying to get in your pants

>> No.53153429

>>53153172
Split the difference, make it a space western about spaceMarine trying to catch you on an interplanetary manhunt on her mechanical horse.

>> No.53153508

>>53152510
I'm Fubuki-sexual.

>> No.53155324
File: 1004 KB, 4096x2510, SelenPomuHOA.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
53155324

>>52939464
You move into an almost unbelievably cheap house on a nice cul-de-sac, and your bros surprise you with a party after you get settled in. Unfortunately, the HOA doesn't like that and the party quickly turns into a massacre. To avoid becoming a victim as well, you are forced to do their dirty work in the high turnover neighbourhood.

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