/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

i want my own hagwife

>>39599796
>Button singing
My heart can't take it.... She's so damn cute bros..

Hag schedule
Lui Celebration
Sora singing
Polka singing
Fubuki singing
AZKi singing
Lui singing
Aki singing
Koyori singing
Marine singing
Flare singing
Mio singing againg
Watame singing
Mio singing again again
Among us Polka POV
Lui POV
Koyo POV
I can't post the links

>>39600702
Here's a playlist for the Karaoke relay
https://twitter.com/ookamimio/status/1606670437563658241?t=qd_uOr7vOkbDRaKSdH2SZQ&s=19

Luv pol

>>39600899
Nice, I've only missed a few.

How big is too big?

Polpol sounds like she needs to take a deep breath before she has a stroke.

>>39605764
I would kill for this fennec

The birthday hag's ass is mine

Why does Mio have 3 spots in this relay.

DOUBLE HAG ACTION!

>>39600702
>>39600899
Why are the hags singing? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just confused I'm watching reine rn
https://youtu.be/BINI2BgkB3o

>>39610354
Christmas Relay is tradition. Just like Miko/Korone 24 hour marathon for New Years is.

She's live doing a dancing stream.

Hag and nearly hag!

Which chuubas are you counting the days for until they become official hags?

>>39614207
Lamy to become Hag.

does anyone have that image of mio staring at you while her head is resting on a table next to a drink? I lost it somehow

>>39616293
What are you talking about? It doesnt exist. and who is this "Mio"? You alright?

May you all be blessed with a lovely hag wife for the next christmas!!!

>>39616468
Mio looks like she's sexually starved.
I want to offer myself up as a sacrifice so her womb is all full up with my cum and I'm physically spent.

I like it when she praise me about how great I am to last for 3 minutes against her

>>39610354
>go to random timestamp in the video.
>She is eating.
I haven't watched her in a while while but it's nice to see she stayed faithful to her content

>>39607984
Are you complaining?

>>39619036
NTA but yes
I need more Mio

I want to unwrap this present and play with her all day.

>>39622928
What is it? I really hope it's a Xbox.

Hag GF
Hope you guys got a Hag as you wished on you letter to Hag Claus. Mine is in recovery...

>>39623315
A little too old to be a Xbox, I think it might be a pet.

Some say there are hags amongus

>>39623799
sus

Were there any hags that didn't stream?

>>39627072
I hate to break it to you Anon. All of the holohag Christmas streams were pre-recorded they were with me the whole night.

>>39614207
Ame
Okayu
Ina
Tower
Kaela

>>39627576
Impossible, I would've seen you when I was buried underneath the pile of hags.

>>39607984
Chammers is sick, so Mio took her spot.
>>39627072
Korone

Merry Christmas /hag/. I hope you all got the gift you wanted.

>>39614207
Okayu. She's pretty much an honorary hag at this point.

AAAAAAAAAAAH IM HOLDING ALL OF YOU LIABLE FOR CONDITIONING ME TO LUST AFTER HAGS CONSTANTLY WHILE I ENVISION LIVING A PERFECT LIFE WITH THEM AS WE BOTH GET OLD TOGETHER AND NOW I NEED A CUTE HAG WIFE SO BAD IT HRUTS BROS

>>39631270
Shouldn't it be easy (-ish) to get a hagwife?

>>39617633
Source?

>>39628017
You won’t have to wait long for Ina, she’s turning in 2023

>>39631355
If you want a JP hagwife its harder if you don’t live near a large asian population
Western hags are a different story

>>39614207
Do graduated ones count? Cant wait for Lulu

>>39633523
Western hags might as well be unicorns they are so rare

>>39633686
How? They're just women over thirty.
You have a mom, right?

>>39633774
She is not someone I would ever call a hag

>>39633774
But I don’t wanna fuck my mom

>>39633774
>he thinks only age makes a hag
How new?

>>39634051
>>39635459
Skill issue.

>>39614207
Wamy

>>39628017
>Ame
Same. She'd make a god tier hag. Just gotta wait a few more years. Can't wait for the resident unicorn to say she isn't a hag lol.

>>39642272
You really need to take your meds, are these unicorns in the room with you?
How old is Ame btw? She's a cake already?

>>39642272
Nah the random fags usually have different targets, no need to falseflag
>>39642896
NTA but she's got a couple more years to go (26 or 27 iirc)

>>39642272
take your meds

>>39631355
>>39633523
>>39633686
Considering the women we spend days posting about, we're literally playing on hard mode. Finding any hag would be difficult enough, but being a western man gives you two choices: do your reps and travel to Japan/other asian countries or take your chances in finding a hag amongst the sea of roasties in the US

>>39644289
I can't afford to not settle for a roastie at this point.

>>39644289
Or take the churchpill, still you'd need to avoid a handfull of roasties there too, or go to a small town, village. Take dance classes, I haven't tried any of these recommended methods so take my post with a pinch of salt

>>39614718
>>39642059
Based fellow wamychads

>>39631270
>>39644289
Moving to Japan and finding a cute hag wife after university is my motivation to do my reps. I haven't missed a day of studying in months now, WGMI bros

>>39644289
Or find a FOB jp girl in the US, probably in the east or west coast
I live near a japanese language school and all the hag teachers there are 1st or 2nd gen jp girls
So lots of jp girls also intern there for grad school credits, some of them are hag age too

>>39644289
You're really making it out to be harder than it is. Only the girls that go to college are the ones that rack up those insane body counts. It's way more easy to find a western hag, trust me.

>>39650461
How so?

>>39631270
Cheer up anon, you'll find you a hag wife on day

>>39650461
>source: trust me
>doesn't elaborate
I'm not saying it's impossible but I'm convinced the number dwindles by the year with the direction our culture has taken here. Soon we'll be mapping out specific states to travel to that haven't been ruined

>>39650683
Going to anime conventions or hobby shops are a good place to meet a western hag. I know a guy who met his current gf on ow and that's hagpilled him for life.

>>39650914
W-what's in that cup

>>39651569
And how do I marry my hag wife?
picrel

>>39651650
idk

>>39651575
Wassail.

>>39651569
Hobby shops/niche locations over the anime convention swamps. Those are the definition of one night stands considering the fact that you get interactions months at a time and are having to travel out to random venues constantly for some overrated weeb content looking for hag pussy

Do you guys think hags would be down to fuck a virgin or would they solely want experienced cock since they've already dealt with that when they were younger?

Most artists draw hags too thin. Hags would look better if they gained about 10 pounds, not enough to be harmful to their health, but big enough to still be super sexy

>>39659459
Except Foobs, whose thinness is her appeal.

>>39650914
>TFW when a "Hag Wife" is someone near your own age

>>39659347
They want a dude with experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfZLjhdfGsM
She'd never tell you, but Mr. Koro was choking on my dick instead of water.

>>39668214
fuck...

>>39633523
>>39633686
>western hags are single for a reason

finding a "sanity included" specimen is quite difficult

>>39662210
>tfw a hagwife can be YOUNGER

>>39674081
Same here brother... Same here. It hurts man.

What did you get for christmas /hag/gots?

>>39674424
I got a wok pan.

>>39673278
It really isn't.

>>39631355
fictional hag =/= real-life hag

>Hag GF made preorders for her SxS R-18 book
>She's currently on the hospital
Fucks sake, why I don't have enough money to try to save her, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
She's not on Japan tho.

>>39678797
Link? I like Ayamy enough to buy her stuff.

>>39674424
Clothes, some bodywash, two tins of sweets, and a Samsung A8 android tablet.
Honestly I'd have been quite happy getting nothing. What I'd love though is a hag to spend x-mas with.

>>39679499
https://twitter.com/ayamy_garubinu/status/1607314640480141313?t=cj9h3kksVZ26ff3AP2UOjw&s=19
and the +18 Blue Archive
https://twitter.com/ayamy_garubinu/status/1606225191079747585?t=C1ONaNvjK6redy8woRvmBw&s=19

Towards the /hag/ writer for world building:
As the speaker for /meat/, should you consider returning to the project, know that as things stand we cannot consider your lore canon. You have blatantly written your stuff with no understanding of either /meat/ or chuubanite despite us telling you to properly read it up several times and declared us your enemy based on your own mistakes that were your fault. You made similar mistakes with /uoh/ due to not properly trying to understand how we do things. Since you left and seem unwilling to fix that, we would rather ask you to not return. I am sorry to say this so frankly but you seem to ignore posts otherwise.

>>39684553
Thanks

>>39671020
God I wish that was me.

>>39685875
Imagine how warm it would be inside of her

>>39685061
this is a falseflag

>>39685061
>>39688891
It's fine, i understand i messed up a lot and i'm sorry for the trouble that caused!!! I'm fine if it's not canon and i don't plan to return because that would just cause more trouble!

Is it possible we can get miosha in the cord

There’s a new hentai asmr out that’s using art similar to Fubuki in the thumbnail
Only downside it’s a lolibaba setting

>>39690265
I'm gonna rape you Anon

>>39690764
Huh? What are you talking about, anon?

>>39690265
Lets get some mio ass out of you anon, your stuff was cool from what I read and its a time to be merry.

>>39690265
Kiddo... We have a little schizo infestation right now, the first poster was one of them. Know that nothing you ever posted caused any trouble, even pg felt bad about you leaving. Everything you wrote is and always will be canon and if you ever decide to return, I'll have your maps saved :) Happy holidays btw!

>>39692787
I want to eat her out through her panties until I can no longer feel my tongue.
Then I want to undo her from her binds and princess carry her to bed and kiss her goodnight and tuck her in.

>>39693023
correct response

>>39674424
Just some clothes and soaps, useful every day stuff. Those have always been gifts I appreciate the most.

>>39694412
A change of clothes and keeping fresh and clean for your hag is always nice
Though being dirty once in a while is good when she’s in heat, makes sure your scent is really strong to tease her to the limit

>The age of 30 is in demand
Bros...

>>39692405
TY!!! I tried to make our nation fun and loving as much as i could, glad to hear some liked it!
>>39692453
Uhm, i don't understand what is going on but pls don't bring it to /hag/? And thanks for the help, even if it was for nothing in the end.

>>39701413
Yea, sorry, we won't pester you anymore. Was fun while it lasted.

>>39701805
Daijoubu!!! I had fun myself, but it's not really worth it if i only upset others with my actions.

>>39701988
>only upset others with my actions.
You never did. Actually you know what, if you are at all up for it, the long posts guy is in the thread right now, and he can explain it better than I can. But also, this'll be my last post about the topic on here, wouldn't want to derail an otherwise wonderful thread. Godspeed, kiddo

>>39700566
>tfw you’re as old as Marine
Bros…

>>39702624
>tfw you're OLDER than Marine

>>39703412
>tfw you're older than all of them

>>39704486
Damn, even Botan?

>>39703412
>>39704486
you know it’s a problem when a hag calls you Daddy

>>39705207
Is she the oldest? People used to say she was but I've somewhat recently seen people say she's actually not and Korone is the oldest. I don't personally go looking into personal life stuff so I'm not sure how accurate any of this is. I'm 40 so I figure that's gotta make me older than if not all of them then 99%.

>>39708524
I also have received conflicting informational stuffs in this regard, but Botan is almost always at or near the top.

>>39674424
got interested in Mio’s tarot readings so picked up a pack of her cards
did a quick love reading for the new year and not sure if they got her energy in them or what but all signs point to getting a hagwife

>>39702624
I’m getting older but hags just keep aging too

>>39673278
Sanity is optional.

>>39674424
An exercise bike. I need to start doing some reps if I'm going to get my own hagwife.

>>39708524
If The List(tm) is to be believed, Botan is 1 year older than you.

>>39662210
>>39674081
>>39702624
>>39703412
>>39704486
ojisans......

>>39711411
You might not know this but Mio-san actually imbued all cards with a special magic
Basically hag charm.

>>39716591
Everything under this hag's skirt looks so lickable

vtubers have conditioned me towards hags am i going to be confronted by a harsh reality if i try to hook up with one

>>39713356
Standard or something fancy like an airdyne to get the arm work in too?

>>39701413
>>39701988
Haganon, the genuine contributors really miss you. We are not lying when we say that there is an infestation of schizos. Anyone who isnt a trip or avatarfag intentionally kept impersonating other anons and start fights.

>>39668279
Just fake it, til you make it anon. Women sure do.

>>39733135
This, if you don’t mention anything they won’t notice
If they do call you out on it just say that it’s been a while and your skills are rusty

>>39733459
What if he puts it in a wrong hole?

>>39733624
It's a hag, anon... They don't mind. Just commit to the mistake.

>>39733624

>>39733664
if you put it in the wrong hole, their womb will stay dusty and empty. do you want that?
unless it’s the second+ round in the day, or a safe day. then have fun.

>>39733624
Tell her it's not and proceed with confidence.

Mio's reflection yabe

>>39734950

>>39734950
>reflection of Miosha in the golden button
MEIDOOOOOS

Hnghhhh!!!

>>39734523
Better yet put it in the right hole and a finger or two up the butt
Wouldn’t mind rimming Mio’s wolfhole myself
If it’s Fubuki though spank her hard until she squirts
If you don’t smoke just use a cigar to blow smoke in her face
Though cigar burns hurt way worse but she may like it who knows

>>39735982
I want to treat this Korone like a dog

>>39733982
Headcanon is that all the animal girls are just play acting and their tails are actually buttplugs
Fubuki’s special cause she has a tailplug with anal beads attached

Guys I'm starting to think you want the hags to be your mommies instead of making them the mommies of your children
There's noone under the age of 30 here right

>>39738743
>you want the hags to be your mommies instead of making them the mommies

Why can't I have both?

>>39738894
She's already gonna be exhaused from being pregnant at all times and raising children, you need to be strong for her anon

>>39738743
And what's wrong with the first option, anon? Its perfectly okay to wanting to call a hag "mama" when she's teasing you with a handjob or when she's wringing you dry when she's riding you like a cowgirl because she wants to give her special little boy a gift for being so good and well behaved.
Granted the only hag I could do that kind of thing with is Mio. No other hag suits it.

>>39738743
I fear that there are some people below the age of twenty in this thread.

>>39723288
depends on where you are and how you go about it. If you're stuck in the west like most of us, then be weary that you'll be looking for a mythical creature. Mostly roasties (colloquially known as cougars) await due to our culture here in cultivating active women who didn't become cat ladies

>>39738743
the entire premise of a lot of us here is the fact that we're attracted to "older women". Nothing's too far gone as long as >>39740423 isn't proven right

>>39738743
You can have both, anon

This is my grandmother. Say something nice about her.

>>39746755
I'm about to give her grandson more aunts and uncles

>>39746755
Hello grandson. My wife is very beautiful!

>>39746755
Your grandma has been a very dear friend to me for many years now, and I wouldn't trade our afternoon teatime for anything. You should come visit more often though, she misses her cute grandson.

>>39748486
I'll talk to my mother about it. We visited my aunt (picrel) this year for Christmas instead.

>>39746755
You have a very got grandma, anon.
I want her to knit me a scarf and help put it on for me so I can get use to wearing one without feeling like I'm suffocating.

>>39738985
If this is what Mio is gonna be like pregnant I’m gonna have to be strong just supporting that belly
https://files.catbox.moe/cdknau.png

>>39749195
>Botan’s your aunt
>tfw remembering how your aunt used to nibble on your ears and call you her “favorite little nephew”, and almost kissed you on the lips once when she was drunk at a family gathering
Cool, didn’t know we were related

>ywn see this as you come to bed

>>39636601
How would you define a "hag"?
I know what a hag is, but cannot explain it
I used to like Nina Kosaka, but dumped her in her first month after a "spit in my mouth" comment. (Even though her taste in games is good)

Is some sort of unicorn pandering necessary? I don't think so but can't really think of good examples.

>>39762218
Same but it took longer to stop watching.

>>39761914
>condom
Youre right I wont ever see that because hags are for raw sex only

>>39764140
She’s scolding you for finding some and mentions she’s in heat and you don’t need any
>that wedding ring though
I’ll never be lucky enough to be married to someone like her

Hagstack with fresh cake in the middle

>>39762218
Nina had a lot of potential, but the whole of NijiEN cannot stop being sexual. my poor hedgehog

>>39761914
Okay but what about this? I'd like to see this

>>39762218
The hate on Nina doesnt come from sex jokes but from what her rm said on stream and twitter. Her view of things is absolutely whorish

>>39762218
A 30yo woman who is mature and didn't fall for the cock carrousel meme

>>39764748
That’s good too

>>39762218
A hag really is just a 30+ year-old woman. That much qualifies a chuuba whether you like them or not.
But the hags I've seen being posted here the most all share the same quality of not making their age their personality, and it's the appeal of being insecure about their age that's part of their charm. Nina overplays her hagginess to the point of kayfabe and having woman moments and it just doesn't feels the same.

>>39770110
Which hags are insecure about their age.

>>39770159
Pretty much almost all of them? As long as they don't flaunt them on stream either for privacy, safety, or just to maintain their youthful kayfabe.

It’s hard to believe that Subaru will actually be a hag next year
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mQU1jizw5GQ

>>39770230
Aw yes, Fubuki, Mio, Marine, and Botan are all known for being insecure about their age.

>>39771070
Eh, I have a low standard anyway for who qualifies as "insecure." Even if it’s publicly mentioned, I know in my head they're not proud they're past their prime and their window of fertility is closing.

Hag bros how can we cure Mio's cartilages...

>>39770992
Israel?

I NEED hag sex

You do realize theyre old and their womb is dusty right?

>>39778163
Your point being? It is a man's duty to fill their duty womb with cum in the hopes it'll make them pregnant.

>>39770992
I am unreasonably excited for this. I fear I may actually injure my balls on her birthday.

>>39778163
Furry paws are behind this post

This hag needs more love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbq31zZu6BM

>>39785367
Cute

>>39787886
Lewd thoughts have entered my mind.

>>39789223

You guys have ruined me, nothing gets me harder now than seeing 30代 or 40代 on a jav or doujin and the hairier the pubes the better

>>39785367
Cute dragon, I'm really liking her voice.

>>39789831
That's a weird way to spell "I have finally seen the light."

>>39789831
>Ruined
You mean opened your eyes

I wanna taste hag milk so bad

>>39792486
Roll up your sleeves and grab your stool and bucket; those hags aren't gonna milk themselves.

>>39792486
Seconded

>>39790169
You should listen to her sing if you never have, she's pretty good.

>>39792709
>Hearing Watame’s soft bleats as you milk her fat hag tits, getting embarrassed as the sound of her thick sheep milk hits the metal bucket
>it’s a productive day today, nearly a half gallon of milk to use

>Cover hires you to milk the hags on the office
>All hags end falling in love with you
One can dream

>>39795487
This ewe is constantly harassed by her own coworkers, don't you start!

>>39797316
It’s not harrassment if she comes to you begging to relieve her sore sheep tits because she doesn’t wanna make a milky mess in her idol outfit before her live show

>>39796912
>you end up packing their milk up into a new “limited” edition box for merch
>all the others in Cover don’t know you get to suck from their tits directly whenever the girls want

>>39797833
Stop ogling my udders.

>>39798362
It’s hard not to when those fat hag saggers are staining your shirt and dribbling milk on the floor

>>39798467
How can Botan just casually be this much sex all the time?

>>39799270
It’s that older sister + hag mommy energy rolled into one
Plus Botan and Watame’s milkers are threatening to burst open that top any moment now

Haglove

>>39800437
Nice, I thought she'd be wearing the black spats under there.

My hag GF is feeling better, and announced her comiket stuff
https://twitter.com/ayamy_garubinu/status/1608092068077015043?t=A8TOP8LMqiwpcOF5sRR0dg&s=19
with a small restock of Holomizugi 2

>>39800437
I love those figures of my hag wife and hag mum.

>>39800437
Uohh hag butt erotic!

>>39806821
Stop touching my butt!

The nights are cold and lonesome. If only I had a nice plump hag to keep me warm.

>>39738743
Yes.

>>39789831
If you think that's bad I was at my mother's house for Christmas dinner and went she bent over to pick up something from beside the tree her dress rode up to give me a nice view of her ass in tights. I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

>>39797833
Preventing mastitis is an important part of sheep management. It's arguably more crucial to keep on top of in sheep than in cows since they only have 2 quarters.

>>39600702
Sora is a hag?
and Azki as well?

>>39809881
Still get a slight chub whenever my aunt comes over for family gatherings as she used to bite my earlobes when I was a kid whenever she greeted me at the door and often put my head between her cleavage when she was drunk
Parents had to eventually stop her when she tried to kiss me on the lips infront of a crowded restaurant on my highschool graduation night

>>39810004
Healthy sheep make quality milk
The more destressed they are, the more milk they produce
High yield sheep can produce up to a half gallon of milk a day

>>39810554
Is that why Watame drinks so much tea? Surely she'd have to stay well hydrated to keep that up.

>>39810732
Milk yield is due to genetics not hydration
In high amounts tea can actually slightly dehydrate you but not enough to be serious, so you drink more to compensate
The worst you’d get is peeing way more due to the caffeine hit

>>39811069
>peeing way more
Yeah...

>>39810421
Don't let soratomos hear you say that

>>39811624

>>39806821
>ywn tounge punch Fubuki’s foxy fartbox

>>39809881
Stepmom?

>>39812730
Nope. She wasn't part of my life until I became a teenager. I was doomed to crave affection from older women from the start.

>>39812870
Sounds rough. Hopefully, you get yourself a hag to pour all your lust into.

>>39810421
Anyone you ask is going to be *very* biased about the answer.

The Diva, on the other hand, is definitely a hag. July was her 15th anniversary as an utaite.

>>39810477
H-Hot

>>39815267
Bunnies might be my greatest weakness.

>>39815394

>>39815394
Well you’re in luck
In two years Pekora will be a hag

>>39816173
Another dainty hag to join the ranks of Fubuki and Luna...

Winter is cold and dark, hags are soft and warm

>>39800437
Why does Foobs flaunt her tail around while Mion carefully wraps hers around her leg?

>>39830627
Mio's tail is very sensitive

>>39815467
She's just too sexual for her own good

>>39830627
She's embarassed by how stunted and unfluffy it is. Don't be rude!

Watame’s sheep snatch
Botan’s bushy beaver
Flare’s elf flower
Polka’s clown clussy
Marine’s pirate pussy
Mio’s wolf muff
Toko’s cerebrus twat
Koyori’s coyote cunt
Fubuki’s fuzzy foxhole
Dola’s dragon dussy
Lui’s lickable labia
Korone’s dripping dogina
Haglove

>>39813438
Ironically enough, she started so young as an utaite that she's barely a hag despite that long history, even if we're discounting the other defining characteristic of a hag/cake being untaken by yea, me

>>39599796
I lift for Koyori