/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

you WILL be japanese

Start studying the language if you haven't already and work towards getting a visa. That's what I'm doing. The borders won't be closed forever.

>>16575053
Kys and pray to RNG God, best of luck bro

>>16575053
Why? They are a nation of miserable autistic retards that overwork themselves for no reason.

>>16575053
>>16575101
You cant be japanese but maybe you can be a nice ganji, good luck!

Convert to buddha or some shit, then kys, i'll wish you luck

>>16575111
reroll

>>16575183
> You can't be Japanese
Huh? What are you talking about?

>>16575053
Granted! But you are now a Japanese GIRL!

>>16575053
>Russian

>>16575711
>magically become cute japanese girl
>go to japan
>become a part of hololive
>fuck your oshis
just like mikochi!

>>16575183
Foreigners over the age of 20 may become Japanese citizens by naturalization after residing in the country for at least five years, renouncing any previous nationalities, and proving self-sufficiency through their occupation or existing financial assets. Applicants should be able to demonstrate elementary knowledge of the Japanese language, though this is not a legal requirement.

>>16575053
Good luck anon

>>16575053
Just isekai as a Japanese

>>16576188
inject pure jap blood into veins and soon you'll turn into a japanese citizen

>>16575972
bruh what for?

ywbj

>>16575711
that's the worst (best) monkey's paw in history

>>16575053
why

>>16576188
You will be Japanese on paper, in the eyes of Japanese people you will still be the same filthy gaijin.>>16579532

>>16575711
Where's the downside retard ?

Why would you like to suffer?

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection.

All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that.

Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment.

>>16575111
brb rerolling

>>16583261
Just use salted emails

>>16576188
People in Japan are racist af. White people and black people will never be considered japanese even if they were born there.

>>16576188
Would be cool if dual nationality was an option. I wouldn't renounce mine for an (arguably) dying country.

>>16583254
Its easy you just put a lamp shade on your head and go ching chong wing wong and live in a micro apartment way into your 80s.

>>16583254
lmao

>>16583404
Apparently they don't really care about the dual-nationality in reality.

>>16583254
im sad you feel this way about yourself, hope you find happiness
me, on the other hand, will become japanese

>>16583829
ywnbj

>>16575053
You will never be Japanese. However with enough effort and willingness to adapt and be outgoing in a new place you can move here and have a happy life for yourself enjoying the many good things about Japan

Or you can be like 95% of weebs and move to Japan then in one month realize your shit fantasies are not real become depressed and isolated like before then return home bitter now hating Japan and Japanese people but never realizing that the real problem was inside you all along.

>>16575053
Better start stretching those eyelids anon, every journey starts with a single step

Why would you want to be Japanese unless you're a woman in which case it's completely understandable
Just enjoy all the Japanese culture as a kaigai person where it's novel to you, while not having to deal with its downsides that the actual Japanese do
Use your foreign dick to get a Japanese wife and enjoy your life

>>16583404
I remember hearing that if you make large investments (like, 6 figure large) in Japanese companies you can get a "business passport" in order to expedite border checks when you need to go for meetings and such. Not sure if that's still the case though

>>16583169
I think he's trying to say that it's tough being a Japanese girl because sexism and whatnot

>>16583360
That's terrifying. I've never encountered a single racist in my country, the USA.
>>16584352
How long have you lived there and what do you do for a living, if you don't mind me asking? I'm planning to find a job there after I graduate.

>>16575053
>>16575078
You will never be Japanese

>>16575053
It’s not that hard lol??

>>16579565
>>16583144
>>16583360
Thats fine I'm racist too I'll still fuck their ugly women left and right and fix that declining population issue tho.
>>16583404
Having duel Irish and Mutt citizen ship is pretty kino I wont lie

YWBJ

>>16575053
>Here, take a (You)
You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.

>>16575053
>Have another one (You):
You will never be Japanese, you will never find the love of your life in Japan, who looks like this and is a cutie pie Japanese girl. You will never be the protagonist in an anime, you will never have superpowers that allow you to overcome your most greatest tribulations, you will always be a loser.

>>16595017
Based, I kneel

>>16575078
皆さん、日本人になるぞ!

>>16575053
I wanna learn Japanese and move to Japan to work as a wagie to experience their hellish work environment

>>16595933
what a coincidence, me too. I feel like at least 30% of that reputation is just from whiny westerners anyways

>>16582691
Do otaku in Japan purposely look like cause of the established anime stereotype appearance or is it the other way around? Why do they almost always wear plaid?

>>16596003
stereotypes don't just spring out of nowhere. flannels are pretty popular with skinnyfat dudes in my country too

>>16576188
is this renounce citizen ship or "renounce" citizenship? because there's no way I'd give up my US and EU citizenships for the Emperor

>>16583360
This is the same in every country retard. If you havent go through school as a child in this country you wont ever be a true citizen be it in Denmark, Burundi or Japan.

>>16583360
>caring about what some micropenis gooks think about you
just bang their ugly women and take advantage of their amenities, all they can do is seethe anyway.

>>16579565
>gets micropenis
>turns into a turbomanlet
>becomes ugly
>gets slit eyes
ew no thanks keep that jap blood away from me

>>16575711
Why you offer a win win situation?

>>16576188
>don't even need to know the language to become a citizen

What were all my reps for then?

>>16583254
>go to japan
>travel illegally without a visa
>learn absolutely zero Japanese
>swagger around gook cities with your massive 6'4 European frame, dwarfing all yellow skins
>speak to everyone in English, power through conversation as they gibber in their dying language
>stride through crowds of northern chinks, mogging all Japanese "males" and making all of their ugly women uncomfortable/horny
>Japanese police force cannot arrest you, their officers are all manlets with paper bones and atrophied muscle from a diet consisting entirely of onions and fish penis
>never pay for anything, the japs are far too lethargic to chase you anyway
>take up multiple seats in their trains, all gooks give you a wide berth, too scared of masculinity
>sleep on the streets, more spacious and comfortable than gook bugpods
imagine wanting to be """"""""""""""""""""""Japanese""""""""""""""""""""""""

>>16575053
So you want to be 4’10, have a 3 inch penis and have horrendous teeth. Why?

>>16597383
that's just for foreigners that are basically working shitty labor jobs, minimal communication, just go move shit all day and be paid pennies

>>16575053
You will never be Japanese.

>>16597657
>they make it easy for pajeets brought in to move boxes to get citizenship

Sounds like a recipe for failure once the jeets learn how to exploit it.

>>16597907
pajeets can exploit absolutely anything, its like a racial talent

>>16583254
yo is that kiara?

>>16575053
We're all gonna make it, bro. Just gotta keep working hard.

>>16575053
you are.

>>16576188
Yes, but how do you reside there for 5 years?
I don't have a degree or a profession on the list and I don't plan to change that.

>>16575711
This place is filled with trans girls.

>>16575182
>overwork
I will be an hikkikomori like Davido

>>16601726
Unironically.
But the EN fanbase is kind of tame in term of transness compared to the chinese fanbase but i think it's because hormones are much more available there.

>>16575053
me to

>>16597421
you forgot
>get deported because the locals pin something on you because they fear your big dick energy

>>16601657
then I guess you're SOL

>>16596003
uniqlo sells plaid

>>16601657
You've answered your own question here, you don't. The requirements are very clear cut and the basic bitch path of a 4 year degree and english teaching job is not hard to achieve. If you won't even do that, then I guess you just don't give a shit.

>>16583797
I've heard the opposite. I read a nightmare account of an American guy not actually renouncing his citizenship because he assumed the Japanese government wouldn't check. Well they did check and not only was his citizenship revoked, but his long term residency was revoked as well. He was back to a work visa and a stamp on his record that made the possibility of another long term residency very unlikely and citizenship application a non-starter. Even if he got married it would be greatly complicated by his non-compliance. Don't try this shit.

>>16575053
>I want to be Japanese
why? the problem is not the place of birth, you will still remain a human failure japanese or not.
is the same problem with trannies, cutting their pennis doesn't make them happier

>>16608881
>happiness is entirely dependent on whats around you
>happiness is entirely dependent on you
Both of these stances are wrong

what is the fastest why to get a visa that doesn't involve teaching English

what is the fastest way to get a visa that doesn't involve teaching English

>>16609657
you chose to be a crybaby pussy

>>16611756
Killing people that stand in your way isn't crybaby pussy behavior but it's also wrong and only something human failures do, so that's not the whole answer either

>>16611983
oh, you're just schizobabbling, nvm

>>16611641
Get a real job. Just apply directly.

Alternatively, attend Japanese University.

>>16612727
literally everybody uses an extreme example to show that you've got a shit take, try going outside

>>16611641
i wish i knew

>>16611641
>>16613171
What this anon said.
http://visa-japan.jp/category/work-visa

>>16608393
I don't have 4 years to throw away on a useless degree for a job I'll hate

>>16632174
What do you want out of life?

>>16632352
To masturbate.
I don't know, I never thought about staying alive that long. I don't know how long I'll keep going either.

>>16633173
You should consider what the future could hold for you. If you haven't killed yourself by now, there's definitely part of you that wants to be alive. Food for thought.
You said you don't have the time but also just said you didn't consider living for very long. How old are you?

>>16633388
25 years old, I'll have to think about it

>>16634656
Dude, can I harvest your kidney?

>>16632174
Getting a communications degree and ending up in JET would probably a better use of your time than what you're doing now. In that it's you know, something. Movement at all. I'm assuming, but this is /vt/ so it's a safe assumption.

>>16634656
I'm 26, and it took me a while to get to the point that I could actually see things I wanted to happen as possibilities rather than missed opportunities. I hope you get there too anon; you're capable of it.

お前絶対に日本人になれない

>>16639492
その通りです。私は外人になる

>>16591958
Based. I'll join you in saving nips decline population anon!!

>>16575053
My in-laws are japanese (my sister's husband's familly). Can i call my self nihonjin now?

Beatani drew this just for you

>>16575053
Go find a nearby truck

>>16575101
>the borders wont be closed forever
anon...

>>16583404
i have dual japanese-american citizenship by being hafu and im really hoping i dont have to make a "declaration of choice" (which your legally supposed to do at like 23 years old)
this >>16608533 really scares me
it wouldnt be that much of a problem if corona never existed but the thing is i want to be allowed into japan for the foreseeable future, and for the foreseeable future the biopolitical security state is the modus operandi for all developed nations (sorry to deflate the hope of some of the people hoping to move their some day, but dont count on things getting any easier)

>>16639492
勿論、すでに日本人だったら日本人になれん

>>16645016
I hear ya, everyone's sick of dealing with the virus here (well, who isn't) and politicians have all but given up. This year is looking worse than the previous one, specially for those who wish to move to another country. Things are looking a bit grim in Japan too.

>>16645415
my cousins in japan got covid and were forced to quarantine in a hotel for 10 days, couldnt leave their rooms, guards, fed pre made bentos
literally the same thing as being imprisoned without a hearing over a cold
grim indeed

>>16645415
It's not impossible, I managed to move abroad, just landed on the wrong country.
I moved to Spain instead of Japan.

>>16645846
europe is easy, japan is literally impossible atm

>>16645846
Your aim must suck a lot anon, considering Spain is like 9k miles away from Japan

Just marry a japanese woman and take her to your country.

>>16591958
>>16596804
>he thinks ugly girls don't have standards
Lmao, please move there and try to have sex with them. Nothing will be funnier than watching you autists become laughing stocks the next day on youtube.
You will never be Japanese nor do the girls there want you. How will you provide for them? No one will hire you unless you have n1 Japanese and even then good luck getting a decent job. Hope you like shithole apartments! Remember to lock your door and windows at night: foreigner on foreigner robberies are very real.

>>16644763
I genuinely don't think they will. I'm an obedient little vaccination taker anyways.
>>16647924
I don't wanna do that. The US is nuts

>>16575053
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CRISPR_gene_editing

>>16647924
I can't inflict that to a poor tiny japanese woman

>>16576159
https://streamable.com/jv766p

>>16647924
>going back to your country
for what purpose

>>16654803
lol

I don't want to be Japanese, I feel lucky to have grown up where I did even though it's not perfect.

>>16656373
That's great. I would like to become Japanese, though

>>16656869
I believe you can do it, anon

>>16658695
Thank you. I've collected a handsome amount of YWBJs on this board

>>16650638
theres a small chance the country opens for tourism in the summer when the virus calms down but as i said above the biopolitical security state is the new "optimum" in government. its not going away. Agamben wrote a bunch of good blog posts on covid when the pandemic first started, this is a good one if youre interested https://d-dean.medium.com/biosecurity-and-politics-giorgio-agamben-396f9ab3b6f4 . Besides biopolitics, the "perpetual state of exception", where governments claim one exception after another to perpetually limit freedoms, is the new norm. like i said, dont expect things to get any easier.
(theres also going to be a mini ice age due to volcanic activity but shhh dont worry about that for now)

>>16596414
It's rescind your citizenship as in:
>Contact your country/ies embassy and tell them you no longer wish to be a part of their system
The Japanese take this shit seriously and I would gladly do so fuck the country I currently live in. It's gotten me nowhere

>>16575053
I don't

The dream scenario for a second life would be

>be white
>mom dies in the first year after giving birth so no attachment
>get a young, hot Japanese step-mom
>she loves and raises you as her own
>she teaches you Japanese
>get a half-Japanese step-sister along the way
>family moves to Japan
>inseki may or may not be part of the equation

>>16671673 (me)
*half-sister
am retard

>>16671673
based

>>16671673
why not fuck your step mom?