/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Story Anchor.
Post 'em if you got 'em.

Do you have a story like you'd like to see written? Reply to this post with it! Try to be as clear and concise as possible; the better you describe your idea, the more likely it is to be picked up!

Consider forwarding your prompt to the prompt archive to keep your idea safe and alive forever! No information is gathered - it's all completely anonymous. Use the form below:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScgcr8y7I9NUta22Ni0gFvS51veG5_7XjJrVD1BvJqDtX5_sQ/viewform

Curious to see the prompt archive? Check it out here if you need a little more inspiration!
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/3/d/e/2PACX-1vR5ZggiHWXX_WSqCC5bvPR2QeLFGNMTjlgk6MuxmoVdRUIepkJa7PUlJAQ5RzHkZM_hhthLLXjab9Dt/pubhtml?gid=1162270883&single=true

>>15925585
Mumei kidnaps you and forces you to breed with Bae and FBK to spawn more baebies and potential demigods as part of her scientific experiments.
Possibly a subplot about selling the videotapes.
Eternally grateful to whoever decides to pick this up.

For your next literal who for the OP you should use Jinbei Maguro.

>>15926669
Who?

>>15926088
Are Fubuki and Bae down with it or against it?

>>15927461
against

>>15925538
There's a shameful lack of pics of women fixing their bra like that. It's so hot.

>>15926998
Exactly.

The doc for Eclipse is down

God I just can't resist being horny for Shion, I genuinely do feel bad for her and that's why I mostly write fluff fics for her but god do I want to bend her over the table and ravage her petite body.

>>15931400
Does anyone remember what that story was?

>>15931535
A good raping would probably help her out. Rape the depression out of her, and all.

>>15931535
As a lifelong hagfag, I can't see how anyone could find Shion's appearance or personality attractive.
I don't want to rape her, I want to bash her skull in with a golf club.

>>15932676
You're gayer than Elton John.

>>15932676
i actually DO like lolis, and even i agree with this. the hottest lolis are the cutest and most innocent ones. shion is a terrible loli, since she has no cuteness or innocence to speak of.

>>15932676
>as a lifelong liker of X, i can't for the life of me see why some others like Y
gee, what a conundrum

>>15932778
>>15934298
Don't care. Hag love.
>>15934007
Yes. This is why the best Holololi is Luna.

>>15932676
>>15935271

Well there are different types of lolis with different type of appeals. You got you're typical cutesy ones, like Luna. Bratty ones, like Shion, your perverted ones, Like Matsuri. Chuuni ones, like Laplus. Oppai (or stern) types like Anya. The only other types I can think of that haven't had in Hololive were more chill types, like Botan or stoic/seemingly-emotionless types (that we don't actually have in Hololive yet). You have your type others have there's.

>>15936353
>matsuri
>loli

After posting most of my stories on ao3 I suddenly realized the non-zero chance of a chuuba(especially NijiEN) reading my fics have become larger, and I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

>>15936353
As much as Rushia conducts herself to be a flat chested woman. That girl is undoubtedly a Loli.
>>15936881
For Reine it's absolutely gone up by like 100%. You've dropped like a dozenish fics, there's no way she won't get curious. Assuming you're MWanon, you could also be the pseudoshitpost anon since I notice they dropped their fics to AO3 too.

>>15936391
I don't exactly see Matsuri as a loli (like kanatan) but she can fit into the category especially considering fan art depictions so relax. (I think she's said she was one herself but I can't remember)

What was the name of the story where Korone and Okayu move in with you but Okayu was so fat they needed a crane to lift her in, and eventually she became too much of a nuisance you had to poison her?

>>15937361
Fat Cat

>>15937430
Ah, so simple. Thanks

>>15937034
Oh god does she really scour the website for fanfics like they say? I was honestly more worried about the NijiEN girls after that one screenshot of their discord server laughing at stuff like this. I don't want to be called cringe on their stream or anything

>>15930482
Most old authors at this point have passed the 20 mark. I'm at 29, AA is at like 60 or something... given enough time, it's bound to happen.

>>15937950
>Been here since ~April
>11 stories
>Two of which are shitposts
Uhhh

I want to write a NSFW fic but i fear i'll fail to do a good characterization for the chubbas involved, this is a struggle

>>15938767
can't be worse than that risu fic

>>15938767
That’s a fear I think most writeanons have, and smut is a lot harder when you have really pure chuubas in it. I think it’s impossible to get the personalities 100% perfectly down so just do your best and ask yourself what they’d do in a situation.

>>15938863
do I dare ask

>>15938863
you got a point, that motivates me a bit

>>15939030
That is a good advice, i'll keep it mind.

Here my prompt. You are a zain working for Hologram Circus. Polka makes you work until everybody leaves and then rape you. Every single day

>>15938767
Write the story first. Sleep on it. Re-read in the morning, then think about whether what you wrote is plausible.
You will never get it perfect, but as long as the reader thinks, "okay, I can see her acting this way", then you're fine. To write someone way too out of character you need some level of plot to explain this or else it doesn't pass the sniff test.

>>15936881
I didn't know you wrote Knightly Dreams dude that fic rules

>>15939352
I'm a horse?

>>15939056
You're not me

>>15939054
It’s probably referring to the one futa milkshake one I did with her and IRyS, where it was painfully obvious I don’t watch Risu at all. It was good enough for /∞/ but their standards seem lower than here. These days I stick with chuubas I feel more confident with, namely Fauna and Kronii. I linked the fic in question below but again expect to cringe (part of my problem IMO was I tried it in non greentext format, I much prefer greentexts myself) https://r.entry.co/qzww9
Still >>15939030 is right, go with what you want. I’m a submissive futafag and I’ve been told that anything I write about Holos is not in character for that but I don’t let that phase me, it’s your fan fiction after all, does it have to replicate them exactly? It’s not a stream transcript for fucks sake

>>15939992
well it wasn't as "cringe" as I thought it was going to be desu. Though I can see why people who are looking for a more "accurate" portrayal might be turned off, it at least works on the whole futa thing. Plus I'm pretty sure there's waaaaay worse.

>>15939479
Thanks for the kind words, anon. I guess uh, it's surprising for you guys to find out all the stuff I've written?

>>15940949
Moreso im just bad at noticing writing styles for the most part. I thought AA wrote The Hero's Fall, but that was you too

Rise!

>>15925558
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSY4j5S2gw4qCkGReQut26I3N4EPB8YXj1xYFIKTrZ5EhG6W8EBgA3cRgMPdMGSXXKzhNuWrSTcsEvW/pub

Wasn't sure if I was going to post this story here but considering the general is at page ten, why not. Not super committed to this one so we'll see if it gets a chapter 2.

tags: Fubuki, Sora, Noel, medical trauma

>>15946755
This is a circumcision thing, isn't it?

>tfw Mori has a lot of cool story ideas you could work her into but I hate watching her and trying to see her streams to get a good grasp of her character makes me want to put a gun to my head

why does she have to be like this?

>>15946959
it's a rework of it. Wasn't satisfied with the first iteration, so here's the second.

>>15947321
Had a feeling

>>15947134
What's an example of a story idea?

>>15947485
Like, Mori pinning you to the ground under her ass with her unfathomable weight and farting directly on your nose.

>>15947134
Anon if you hate a chuubas character; why do you want to write fanfiction about them?

>>15950918
I like the clips but even I don't watch the forced or clearly scripted stuff, aka new Subaru in general for example

>>15951233
What’s wrong with new Subaru?

>>15952388
She scripts all her talk streams by preparing the text of the subjects she will speak about and their English translation. Not to mention the fact that all she's famous for now is reacting to what the other girls are doing.

>>15955214
it actually amazes me she's kept up the english translations for so long
this is probably half the reason

>>15951233
Anon that doesn't really answer the question.
...
Especially since the only thing scripted Calli's done recently were those christmas comics.

>>15925585
Being in a relationship with Shion but Laplus tries to constantly annoy the both of you in an attempt to involve her in the relationship

>>15947485
Well...
https://twitter.com/moricalliope/status/1451005318838767617

>>15950918
being the grim reaper as a concept has a lot of cool shit you can do with that and the prompt archive shows that. Like Mori repeatedly reviving you as a form of torture for instance.

Since I know nothing of Rushia and the language barrier makes it difficult to grasp her character beyond the most basic, I'm stuck with only the En speaking members.

>>15956566
Anon. Please learn to read between the lines. I like Vtubers, but not when they do forced and scripted cringy content. I can't watch someone's stream like Risu for example (the cringe queen) but I can easily watch her clips and laugh. So I want to write about Vtubers, but not necessarily watch them. I like the image I have of them in my head, and I want to write that.

I'm not >>15947134 btw.

>>15963410
>So I want to write about Vtubers, but not necessarily watch them. I like the image I have of them in my head, and I want to write that.

Hate to say it, but I'm actually pretty guilty of this myself. The only holos I know well enough to write are Reine and Mooner and possibly Ollie if I'm being charitable with myself.

I know the basics of almost every holo but not nearly to the degree that I know Reine. At the same time, I don't just want to crank out HoloID stories till I die as that would get stale, even if ID could use the exposure.

What I'm getting at with all of this is just let people have fun and write and pull the stick out of your ass. Not every character has to be exactly 110% them to be enjoyable.

>>15946755
Did I miss something or is Noel not in here? I'm guessing you planned her to be a future chapter and just forgot. Either way, the story had an interesting perspective, showing a bleaker version of both Fubuki and Sora. I'd say Sora might have even been too bleak, but who knows, she's never shown us a side as close as what you're depicting. The line "What would she do if the news was as bad as she feared?" seemed a bit odd to me as it feels like we aren't given a good hint of what 'as bad as she feared' looks like. Other than that, the story was quite nice.

>>15963410
>So I want to write about Vtubers, but not necessarily watch them. I like the image I have of them in my head, and I want to write that.
guilty

>>15964428
Not yet, she's going to come in though. It's going to be (at least as far as I've planned) a story told from three perspectives, Noel's of course being someone thinking of getting the procedure done.

Thank you though. That was good feedback.

>>15940538
That’s comforting to read, anon. I do have a more recent fic involving Fauna stealing (you) from Kronii (both futa again) which I think is higher standard. I don’t often get or ask for much feedback which is one of the reasons my writing stays the same over time for the most part
https://r.entry.co/f6azy
I feel Kronii and Fauna are sort-of in character here but I’ve had some anons tell me they only suit domination loss/being submissive, which whilst fair fetishes in their own right aren’t what I want to write. And it’s frustrating when someone claims all Holo girls are submissive (no less valid than me writing them as all dominant, but acting like it is is silly to me)

>>15963410
>So I want to write about Vtubers, but not necessarily watch them. I like the image I have of them in my head, and I want to write that.
I get the sentiment, but it begs a question; 'why?'
At the end of the day fanfiction is mostly a labor of love. I don't get why you'd want to write fanfiction for something you don't like... especially when clips are effectively a caricature of their 'true self', or at least the true self of the character that's portrayed on streams.

>>15963410
Ditto. I hardly even watch chuubas anymore; they were fun for a whole year last year, which is way more than I expected to be interested, but this year they've lost the charm.

I think it's all the yabs. I hate Cover with a burning passion. Ichikara's shit too, but I don't watch 2434 anywhere near as often.

>>15964056
You idiot, you took my post to further advance your laziness. Of course I know their personalities. I'm not going to write about someone I'm not confident on, which is a lot, because I actually give a shit. All I'm saying is I don't like their scripted parts and so it's hard to watch some of their content. You're saying there's too much content for you to watch and "woe is me I'll never get em right!". That is just an excuse, a shitty one at that, don't use my point to voice your badly constructed argument.

>>15967345
not laziness. I still stick to what I know best: HoloID. I just like to shift things every now and again and when I do decided to add a character that I'm not confident with I at least try to watch either clips or a stream just to get a general idea. That's what I made the post about Calli. I want to write her but good fucking god if I have to watch one more clip of her I'm going to stick my fucking revolver in my mouth and pull the fucking trigger.

What I'm saying more is don't be an autistic spaz who gets livid when someone doesn't write your chuuba 100% accurate. Taking a few liberties won't kill anyone and it isn't even lazy per say so long as you don't overkill it. Like I said, take the stick out of your ass.

>>15967345
>Of course I know their personalities.
You really don't, though

>>15966419
I love them, or at least I used to. It's become hard to watch their content after EN but I still do sometimes catch a clip or two. But in 2020 I used to spend 7-8 hours on just smiling for so damn long my cheeks were always hurting. The content shifted to something I don't really like all too much, relationships are falling apart, all this damn drama all the fucking time, schticks and jokes are getting overused, the fanbase has gotten extremely annoying and not something I want to relate to, etc... I generally got to know them very well in the older times. Now I probably don't know shit about how they evolved, but I used to know them, and I write them how they used to be to keep that memory alive. The more I watch how they are now, the more tiresome it gets, so I just don't.

I got into writing mostly because I got too much creativity and drawing is too slow for me to get it out. So many ideas. And with writing I can do that. The equivalent of several comics worth of drawing in a couple hours.

>>15967768
I watch collabs for the ones I can't stand, but with that being said, I watched enough of that in the past already. It's not hard to grasp their personality if you don't have actual autism, maybe half an hour and you'll see. You just need to know what the fuck you're doing. A stream won't give you her personality, that's too slow, not highlighting her at her best, or lowest. Not to mention maybe the stream you chose isn't all that important so it's just boring and a waste of time.

You can give me a horse painted black and white, but don't expect me to go along with you and call it a zebra because you were too lazy to go to Africa.

>>15967887
I do.

>>15968556
Okay lol

The solution to this is obvious:

Pick 2views that no one has heard of before. That way no one can accuse of writing them out of character. It's a flawless strategy.

>>15969052
Nobody reads fics about 2views

>>15969052
that temako fic was pretty spot on and the fans noticed it. #2viewpersonalitiesmatter

>>15969142
Guess I'll stop writing my Jinbei Maguro fic then.

>>15966419
I think a lot of people here just want to write more than anything, but if you write as a hobby and aren’t a proper author, you don’t have much of an audience to write your stories for. And what’s the point of writing if you don’t have anyone to read your stories? That’s where this thread comes in. A lot of vtuber fans that enjoy writing probably came here as an outlet for their creativity and its audience, chuubas being secondary.

>>15969843
I think there's plenty of writers who put the chuuba's a primary force, though.

>>15969843
Okay but then why go to a fucking 4chan vtuber board's writing thread then.
I realize that this niche ass writing thread is effectively an anonymous writing community that provides critique and feedback but no one goes here for that.

>>15974725
Yeah of course, I don't doubt that. For me it's both, I've loved writing since I was a kid but never had anyone to show my work to, so this thread is great in that sense, but I also gosling hard and imagine lives with vtubers and always feel the need to get my fantasies down on paper.

>>15969843
I beg to differ. Sure I love to write but the reason I started writing fanfic again was because of chuubas. I'm not writing about anything other than chuubas. If I were to lose interest in chuubas, I would stop writing fanfic again.

>>15976866
I dunno, I just think there's a few people like that here. Maybe they don't have any other place to write for?

>>15977123
Pretty much this.

>>15977123
This times a thousand.

Welp I watched another Calli clip. Loading the revolver as we speak.

Perhaps I can use this as inspiration. The story of how calli is literally so annoying that it makes the protag kill himself just to get away from her. Only for her to revive him and annoy him even more with her annoying, grating presence. That's a story.

>>15988598
No one likes meta commentary

>>15988969
And no one likes you yet you don't see me complaining

>>15989077
That does it, I'm gonna rape the man out of you, then you won't be so tough with a leaky ass full of cum.

>>15988969
define

>>15988598
Mori might be an autistic chuuni but I wouldn't call her annoying.

>>15925558
Not the most proud of this one but hey at least I got it out of me.
https://rentry.org/ugime

Tags: Mio, NSFW, Architecture, breeding, preg, mild-hyperpreg

>>15925558
Here it is, chapter one of the raping Kronii fic I've been working on. Finally found the perfect Led Zeppelin song for the title:
Your Time Is Gonna “Come”
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQxzwjn7EcAhYxEQ3tgq_QJiEzluZfJ40n5ir3WrVbl4QbT-BM35wHfcSXIiqS1WgIPEDkbcNfH2uTm/pub
Tags: Kronii, NSFW, noncon, imprisonment, BDSM
The tags are only for the chapter, so more extreme stuff is coming later.
Not gonna lie, the update rate for this fic will depend a bit on the reception, since it's my first smut, I'm not sure if you guys will like it, if it isn't up to par, I'll probably put more work into my main series than this.
I myself can't get off to my own work, or almost any written smut not aiming for my exact set of fetishes, so this might not be as titillating as other smuts.
The actual sexy seggs is about 3k words in, the first chapter has the least seggs and the most setup, the rest of the chapters will mostly just be seggs and character development.

>>15997310
When did rentry get unblocked?
Also in regards to the fic it has two problems, the first is that it really needs to be formatted better. Give that text some room to breathe and I think it would land better.
As for the content; The closest thing that I can think to compare this to are alike greentext hornyposts and I'm gonna be honest this really doesn't do it for me. The descriptions thrown around just do not arouse.
I think you need to work on your erotic descriptions. Also on your formatting.

>>15999602
Thanks, it's really nothing much, but I appreciate the feedback.

First issue is easier to fix, but the second, I'll just keep that in mind for next time.

It was kinda just a few minutes of word vomit from my mind. Hopefully someone can get something from it I guess but next time I'll just try to do better.

>>15999169
Not my thing personally since I like Kronii as a dom, but I suggest you forward this to /∞/ - fanfics are always welcome there, especially Kronii ones.
>Rick and Morty reference
redditchama…
In all honesty it’s pretty good especially for a first smut fic (I still cringe at my early ones) but I can’t give much useful feedback due to my tastes being weird. I do like the way Kronii is written as haughty and arrogant since it makes the whole dom loss thing worthwhile and gives it buildup. You could definitely also write dom Kronii if you chose, at least in my opinion. Also nice to see actual time travel, I myself have seen little of that in the /∞/ fics, admittedly only having written one time travel one and sticking otherwise entirely with futa smut. Remarkably few people use her time powers for smut, most seem to use them in chuuni fics and leave it at that, so it’s good to see them used differently.
7/10 not my kinks like I said but I can respect the grind and encourage a sequel if you feel up to it
T. Sekkusu of /∞/

>>15927953
this guy gets it

>>15999169
This is a pretty compelling start
I don't usually give specific scene criticism but for the skipped battle scene I think a better way to have executed it while still skipping it is by just having it go. Pre-battle dialogue, weapons raise, scene break via either a line break or a marker. I feel like that would get the point across without the jarring nature of 'one battle later'. Same with the 'somewhere else in the universe', except with that line you can just cut it out with a scene break and not lose anything.
In regards to the smut. It's good, flows well, decently arousing. Did actually pop a boner to this so you're doing something right. Honestly would love to see the extreme shit you have planned.

>>15999169
KRONIIIIIIIIIIIIII SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGS
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>15999169
That was pretty good, althought the large amount of references to media did throw me off in a what the hell did he just say" kind of way.

>>15966347
Honestly this fic feels like it's hampered by being in greentext. In that it feels like it would actively be better saying and doing more in traditional writing since it's not actively playing to the strengths of the format it's in.

>>15997310
The fast pace works well with the short length but as the other anon said there are some formatting issues. I don't have that particular fetish so I can't give a good judgment on whether or not it was hot.

>>15925538
crazy hot chuuba but damn, she's got one hell of an old granny voice

>>16006419
That’s interesting to hear as I’ve only written one non greentext fic before (the Risu milkshake one) and since that was seen as not great I’ve stuck to greentexts since for the most part. Not sure what you mean by the strength of the format though, I usually like greentext for being easy to read through and edit myself but I assume you’re referring to a different strength

>>16007918
I hate using the word 'classics' to refer to these, but have you ever the classic greentexts that usually get thrown around in non 4chan places.
With a lot of them being intentionally laconic and brief but still being a whole story. The way you use greentext kind of feels like it's an outline for something bigger. Like it's planning notes for a traditionally written story.

>>15999602
It's Rentry.org instead of .co, maybe that's the solution? Not like it matters now with that fancy script that was whipped up.

Writeanons, what story would you consider to be your best work? Do you have a magnum opus, or is it yet to come?

>>15925585
Just picrel, but longer.

>>16011793
What's sad is a work you're incredibly proud of that gets a meh reception but something like smut still gets mentioned.

>>16012081
>write the opposite of what the general public wants
>sad when it gets a poor reception
You've only yourself to blame

>>16012371
Yeah, NTA but I get the feeling there's more coomers here than people who enjoy reading stories. But at least writeanons who want to get lots of (You)s now know what to write about.

>>16011793
Perhaps unsurprising, but I would say the fic I have put my heart and soul in is Menhera Wrangler. But it is somewhat surprising that it's so well received when smut is usually at the top of the (You)s received list.

>>16012081
Barring the second part of your comment, I get what you mean. I wrote a story once that I put a lot of emotion into but it ended up falling flat, so it probably just didn't have my intended effect on the reader.

>>16011793
Ha, a man with negative self-esteem such as myself will never admit to having made anything remotely resembling a magnum-opus.

>>16011793
I don't particularly have a magnum opus, though I have a fic that I put a lot more work into than the others. And no, it wasn't well received. But I do have a work of passion here and it's the least talked about series in the thread. But surely my next chapter will fix it <---- clueless

>>16014577
What series is it?

>>16014881
The Shadowlands series, of course.

>>16014881
ShadowLive. From what I hear, my writing is fine and the original concept was eye catching, but I'm incapable of constructing an interesting plot and a cohesive story. At the start, I hooked in a bunch of people with rrat Ayame, but the viewership fell off once the initial buzz wore off. I'm already working on chapter 5 with the feedback I got from the previous one, but I had the same thoughts when making 4, or 3, "this time I can fix it" so it's hard to tell if it will work.

>>16015152
It's good to keep criticism in mind, but also keep in mind the fact that sadly most people here are only here to jerk off. It wouldn't be unfair to say that besides the big three - MW, CH, and HC - series stuff is rather niche due to the lack of coom. It's good you're still working on it though

>>16015299
Bro HF is 100% one of the big series'.

>>16015152
Yeah... I was just invested in the first chapter for rrat Ayame, but once it became clear that wasn't the focus, it got boring quick. Sorry.

>>16015299
Tfw the last update for HF was so long ago it isn't considered as part of the "big 3" anymore.

>>16015430
The biggest series that nobody reads

>>16015152
The problem I had with the latest chapters was I guess the fact that Anon was just getting further and further away from his goal and too many new characters were getting introduced all at once. With that said though I was still enjoying it and you have my guarantee that I will absolutely read your next chapter and any subsequent chapters. Glad you're keeping at it.

>>15997310
Pretty soulful and erotic, architect-brother, I'll put it in the /ag/ paste. Good concept, lasted as long as it needed to. As others have said though, formatting is pretty hard on the eyes, and loads of run-ons/odd use of punctuation. I suggest reading your sentences aloud to yourself after you write them to ensure they sound natural.

>>15999169
So going in order of cons, pros and final thoughts:

- Even though I got most of the pop culture references, I'd probably leave them out. Or at the very least write them in a way to where someone wouldn't understand the reference wouldn't know one was being made, so as not to alienate or confuse the reader if they don't get it. Especially during the sex scenes where the focus is on the erotica and you don't want their confusion taking them out of it.
- I think the text didn't needed to be separated so much. Usually there's a break when the subject changes or when it gets too long.

- The title works just fine.
- Good enough for establishing who the relationship between the two.
- As someone who watches Kronii (semi-)regularly I'd say she's pretty much "in character" for this type of story.
- You did a good enough job at describing her body.
- The build up and the sex scene were well balanced, well paced and we got enough of each.
- The tags were well delivered and makes for good domination loss.
- The orgasm was the highlight of the fic and the finger licking was a good way to keep the scene going with losing all it's momentum.
- You also did a good job leaving the reader wanting more for a next chapter by promising what was to come later.

Overall, this was pretty good for a first smut and I definitely do encourage more and hopefully a continuation as this was just a first chapter. All in all, 8/10 (if I'm not being too generous for a first smut). Pretty solid for what it is but still has room to grow. It did give me a rock-hard boner. Good fic and good work. Keep it up.

>>16011793
I've only written two things so I'll flip a coin. I wish I had the motivation some of you have to write series. I tried a load of times back in middle school, but the furthest you get on "that's a cool idea" energy is 2-3 chapters.

>>16011793
It wasn’t posted here since I am more of a /∞/ writefag but my most popular work was the first futanari Fauna fic I did, called “Futa Fauna’s Fucktoy” https://r.entry.co/gquat
I did also produce a work themed around centaur futa Fauna and mpreg that I think I did well for someone not normally into that fetish

>>16022010
There's no rush in trying to write out a long series. Even if it's just a 3-4 chapter thing, as long as you have a clear vision of how it starts and ends, the meat and bones of the middle can be slowly built upon as you stumble upon inspiration (which will in turn motivate you). That's how I got to finish my own series.

>>15925558
At very long last, the first three chapters of Fallout: Hololive are finished. Maybe it's cringe, maybe it's not, only you can say. I hope you enjoy it regardless.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQHlr2m2_Sj_Q3Qpl_diIt5i5YCemV_W1ar81659hGLwN56jXkwtRcQhevN2GEriOg6MpFRSYijziGx/pub

tags: crossover, fallout, Flare, Noel, Mio, Kronii, Suisei

There will be plenty more characters added as well so expect those tags to get longer, assuming I continue the story.

>>16011793
So far, I'd consider my magnum opus to be Apple of Her Eye with a close second being Sakura Summer. I hope I can produce even better than that though, be it an abusefic or something else.

Too many fallout stories!!!

>>16011793
In general or just for /wg/? I don't think any chuuba fanfic I've whipped up on request has ever matched up to my long-term projects on other platforms. If I had to choose from them though, Employee Benefits turned out rather well

>>16011793
I have no magnum opus, and I doubt I ever will. But out of all the stuff I've done so far, I'm most satisfied with the interlude CHapter.

Greetings, anons. I'm still writing during my free time that Suisei fic about only kissing. I wonder whether any of you would like to read what I've written so far (~250 words)?
This that I'm writing isn't very pandering. It's first person (not "you" or "anon", but "I"). Would you like to?

>>16023042
So I read this know nothing about Fallout, but I'm liking it a lot. Prose is smooth and pretty engaging, especially in the first chapter. Having Kronii be some kind of drone assistant is an interesting choice and I'm curious if you have any surprises in store around her. From the sounds of it, the whole Fallout setting has been used nicely to get a sense of where the story's going to go and just set up the feeling of things.

It wasn't cringe and I can only mostly say nitpicks. "It was like a nuclear war hadn’t happened." sounds a bit too direct a description given how you described things previous. With the part "It was bumpy and loud. ...", the transition from last paragraph sounded slightly odd - maybe mentioning how Anon was woken by something first seemed more natural. There's a few typos there like 'blood bad'. Also this bit from the Legionnaire "Say what you will about our policy of slavery, of culture destruction. " sounds a bit unbelievable for someone who believes in such things to actually say, or maybe that's just the tone of the Fallout series.

Anything bad I had to say was just nitpicking really. I liked the story a lot and would definitely read more if you do indeed continue the story.

>>16025402
Go for it. I don't think there's much first person so that might be interesting to see. 250 words is a bit short though if you want some sort of actual feedback, and most people would wait until they've finished it. But hey, it's your story.

>>16026289
I forgot that not everyone is familiar with the fallout series. I'll keep that in mind actually since when I looked back it at, I realized I'm describing things as if everyone reading it is already in the know about the basic lore. I'll make sure to elaborate better on certain things. The Legion is a bit like that. It's philosophy revolves around subjugating tribes and completely erasing their culture so that they're loyal to the legion, not whatever tribe they came from. It's a point of pride when they break a culture into submission.

Thank you for the critique. I'll try to make the paragraphs flow a bit more smoothly and I went back and fixed the typos. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

>>16029143
Thank you. I made the word count again, and it's actually 373 words. Since it's short, I'll share it right here:

Late at night it was when it happened; it happened deep in the woods, while I rested beside her tomb, some distance away from the cottage she and I, together, used to inhabit when she was alive.
I lay down on the ground, the soft grass beneath me, the cool breeze whispering, weakness overcoming my body―how long have I been lying here, unmoving, grieving, for her who left and is no longer here?

I lay down on the ground, gazing at the dark, clear sky above, destitute of stars, profound all-encompassing darkness. ― Then it happened: a blaze both bright and white, cerulean and white, sundered the sky above.
The blaze faded and darkness returned, yet amidst it all a radiancy remained ― faintly shining, a tremulous star.
As it slowly vanished as well, in turn the surprising took its place: a humanly figure who slowly was descending upon me. I gazed at her, contemplating her features.

Glowing gently, a pure white was her skin; clear and albous, it shined like marble untainted and polished by the greatest and most careful jeweler in life, it glimmered like snow in the most glacial winter ― smooth, pure, cold, beautiful.
Softly wafting in the wind, her tresses bare a heavenly azure, the semblant of the tranquil and cloudless sky absorbing us into daydream and joy, delight and repose. A heavenly azure, against the grievous night surrounding us both.
Fluttering captivatingly, her clothes revealed her slim and delicate body, seductive and endearing ― like a woman graceful and kind, an innocent child playing merrily. Silvery were her garments, with a pattern that reflected the endless outer space and the unity inherent in all things extant; on top of them she wore golden chains and jewels, and on her wrists golden bracelets, with pending aureal stars, and a pentagonal sun above her breast, pronouncing her sidereal origins ― a tight necklace adorned her neck, signaling her self-possession and virtue, and a crown her head, imbuing her with the regality of her who charms and rules the ephemeral on earth.
A stellar being, returning to this dark night the universe of constellations.
I was lying on the ground, weakness overcoming my body; slowly she was descending upon me.

And that's it. The rest (the end) is the same as before and there's still left until I reach that point, so no point in sharing it.
One of the reasons it's short is that I'm studying rhetoric and using this to practice literary figures, which may make it more difficult to read in comparison to most fics here. You could say what I'm going for is sort of a prose poem.
What do you think?

>>16015152
Yeah... I'm saying this as someone that has had fun reading through those chapters.
I think the inherent problem for that fic was that it seemed like you were making it up as you went along. It was at its strongest with rrat Ayame because the character interplay between the Anon and Ayame was unironically the most developed part of the story. The setting kind of lacks the necessary exposition to make sense of it, and the other characters that have appeared don't have the same kind of impact and reaction to and from the reader insert to match.
Effectively, the story has shaky foundations that either need to get addressed via editing or by making the next chapter address those issues in a way that feels natural.

>>16036369
lick

>>16036369
Mating press hag

>>16023042
Yeeeaaah, this feels a lot like your Witcher story where it’s just putting vtubers into a random game universe even when it just doesn’t really work.

>>16023210
But there’s only one now?

>>16031225
Like the Anon before said it’s still too short to give some proper feedback, but your descriptive language is on point. I’ve seen proper novel writers do worse before.

>>16040605
There's like 4. Fallout = apocalypse

>>15925558
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSenhHseWlIl9fiPg_35INo5MGN8xhY5wFjjj2JD71-PUzKZ9V_H501MJsbv6PSR_ZZ-MeQ_NYQ4Otm/pub

A night of (you) drinking with Enna Alouette and Millie Parfait turns into something more when the couple reveal that they want children, but they need your help since they're both girls.

Title: Three's a crowd
Tags: Friends to lovers, Threesome, Naizuri, Impregnation, L-bombs.

If I am reading the archive right, this might be the first Enna and Millie story. I hope it is worthy of the title.

>>16042802
>Fallout = apocalypse

>>16042802
Ogey

>>16043003
This was dick blisteringly hot. It ticked pretty much all my boxes. And yet, the saccharine romance is really what makes this fic for me. It leaves me with an overwhelming desire for a wife rather than a threesome.

10/10

>>16043003
God damn this was good!

>>16041176
I see. Thanks. How did it make you feel? Could you immerse?

>>16043003
H-hot

>>16031225
Well it definitely gives that prose poem kind of feeling. Though if you judged on in what most people come here to read, being the chuubas, plus that the fic is still pretty short, it's definitely different. I can't tell if this is stylistic, or completely normal and I'm just ignorant, but using present tense once you've started off "with Late at night it was when it happened" seems like it wouldn't be right? And since I'm mentioning that part, the first 'it', seems to be a typo? I can't say much on rhetoric or literary figures - it gives a grand atmosphere and it sounds nice. It forces you to slow down and read it out in a certain cadence, which I do like coupled with the descriptions. That said, I might just be a bit dozy, but at parts it felt like the descriptions dragged on a tad bit too long, which I can understand given what you want to practise.

I think it's pretty interesting, and maybe I haven't read the archive enough but it seems quite different, which I welcome.

>>16044123
Feel? Uh, powerless, or inferior I guess? The way you described Suisei made her seem like some divine being above any mortal.

>>16043003
God I hope the ending is fucked up and Enna ends up brutally murdering (you) in a secluded part of the forest and buries you vertically(with an added corpse of a small animal on top to give a false positive to tracker dogs)

>>16044438
Oh I see! Yes, that makes sense. But please allow me:
>using present tense
Do you mean the "How long have I been...?" part? I wanted to convey what the voice or persona thought at that moment when he became conscious; I felt it would impress more without quotation marks, but maybe I should have put them after all.
>the first 'it' seems to be a typo?
Do you mean the inversion/anastrophe ("late at night it was" instead of "it was late at night")? I did it on purpose, so the first thing that came to mind when reading it was night and darkness, and to give emphasis. I also felt beginning this sentence with normal word order was a bit too dull, too dry, so I wanted to spice it up a little bit.
On the other hand, if you mean that the first "it" is ungrammatical, I don't think so? It's another form to give emphasis, I believe. I've seen similar structures before, though I've been engaging with English for so long that my grammatical knowledge and sense is mostly intuitive, and sometimes I take things for granted.
>the descriptions dragged on a tad bit too long
Could you please point out which ones in specific?

I was wondering whether I would get ignored or receive nothing useful. Thank you for your commentary. I appreciate it.

>>16044536
LOL. Good: this is what I intended as a first impression. And what's interesting is that I simply imagined what her appearance suggested to me. :)
Thank you.

>>16043855
>>16043902
>>16044263
Thank you, really happy you liked it. I guess that means it's at least decent enough for /scam/

>>16046058
Enna is a sweet girl who just loves crime thrillers and murder mysteries but wouldn't hurt a fly

>>16046076
For the present tense, the way you used it in where you quoted I thought was fine, since you mentioned wanting to get into the persona's head. It's just that you switch tenses from past in first sentence, present in second, then past later on in "Then it happened". Though it did feel more engaging with the present tense, and then switching back to past in the mentioned part did give some impact, so I thought it might be intended that way. The inversion is fine, I just realised I couldn't get out wanting to read "It was late at night when it happened" so it didn't make sense at the time. As I said, I might have just been sleepy and not had the patience for all the pauses and breaks in each sentence.

>smooth, pure, cold, beautiful
> A heavenly azure against the grievous night surrounding us both.

I'm not saying these are bad, but my mind just blanked out at these sections for a while skipping forward. If I had to give a reason for why, I guess for the first I just skipped past once I saw more than three descriptors. And for the second, though I get you repeat 'heavenly azure' presumably for emphasis, I felt like I'd read enough about it to get the point.

Once again, it's an interesting read and I'm curious where it goes. If you're just curious what others think of your work I reckon it's fine to ask, but if you're looking for actual feedback on stuff like rhetoric and that, especially in a story that doesn't seem to have suisex on the brink of it, you might be disappointed.

>>16023042
I have to agree with this anon >>16040536 it feels like an awkward crossover that doesn't mix well... especially with the actual writing not really having much in the way of having the setting as written be compellingly shown combined with being awkward.
Honestly this feels like it needed more thought put into it especially since you're effectively freehanding everything by not having it be set in a more familar locale in the fallout universe.

>>16003076
>>16003991
>>16005045
>>16006089
>>16020001
Thanks for the feedback guys, glad everyone enjoyed it mostly. It was pretty fun to write and I'll keep it going, gonna be two or three chapters more in total. I probably won't update too soon though, caught the coof and it really zaps my energy. I think I'll update GB Watson first, since I'll just have to edit the next chapter instead of actually writing

>>16046533
You're the writer of Stolen Dreams as well, right? You're very good at balancing emotion and action during your sex scenes.

>>16052751
Yeah I am, thank you for the compliment. I do however have one problem with writing smut which is my massive impregnation fetish that'll ultimately influence any smut I write.

>>16053320
> my massive impregnation fetish that'll ultimately influence any smut I write.
Based.

>>16050750
>GB Watson
Huh. That kind of explains the similar narrative 'voice' of the protagonist.
Hope you can release that next GB Watson chapter soon.

i miss detective anon

>>15925538
Hi /wg/, it's the anon with the Luna/Suba/Choco ass licking story. Just checking in.

>>16057682
you have piqued my interest

>>16057682
the what

Is the anon that was writing First Summer Memories still here? Want to know if you're still working on it.

>>16060687
Yeah, I'm still here. I gave up on that a while ago, sorry. Lost interest.

>>16060985
Oh.
Can I request to know what you had planned out for that in regards to how you were going to go through with it.
I know the general plot structure was still based off of that 'racist anon saves flare' story but I kind of want to know what you had planned out in regards to the finding out flare's identity arc.
Also I know you had kinda split the last chapter into a two parter so I'm kind of interested in knowing how much you had written for it pre-abandonment.

>>16061644
Anon... That may not be them and just someone who wants to get you sad...

>>15957707
Does it involve YEET MY DORK occurring?

>>16061756
Eh for fanfics I always err on the side of it being more likely to be dead than not since fanfics 'die' off all the time.

>>16047961
Oh, the "I lay down... Then it happened" part? "Lay down" here is the past tense of "to lie down", not the present of "to lay". Here:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/how-to-use-lay-and-lie
https://blogs.transparent.com/english/do-you-lie-down-or-lay-down/

>I'm not saying these are bad, but my mind just blanked out at these sections for a while skipping forward. If I had to give a reason for why, I guess for the first I just skipped past once I saw more than three descriptors. And for the second, though I get you repeat 'heavenly azure' presumably for emphasis, I felt like I'd read enough about it to get the point.
Oh I see. Sorry about that. Yes, for emphasis indeed: I wanted to highlight the contrast between the peacefulness her color inspired and the darkness of night representing loss/grief.

>Once again, it's an interesting read and I'm curious where it goes. If you're just curious what others think of your work I reckon it's fine to ask, but if you're looking for actual feedback on stuff like rhetoric and that, especially in a story that doesn't seem to have suisex on the brink of it, you might be disappointed.
Alright, understood.

Once again, thank you. Have a nice day/night. :)

>>16063596
Fag.

>>16061644
Yeah I wouldn't believe that guy. Last I heard from the author he said he hadn't started writing it yet, but had the entire plot for the next chapter planned out in his head and was going to get started on writing it soon. Mind you this was ages ago.

>>16064247
Really last I heard was the last chapter getting so huge they had to split it in two with the first part getting released the last year?

>>16064906
Oh, I must have missed that.

If I'm writing a story set in the real world where all the Hololive talents are virtual youtubers, how do I go about writing their descriptions off stream? Would I use their roommates with brown hair, or just use their avatars? Because the former would make more sense, while the latter would make less sense but be easier to picture. Because how would they be virtual youtubers if the avatar they use to stream looks exactly like them?

>>16063621
Look in the mirror and see(the).

>>16065986
>their descriptions off stream

>>16065986
The former seems like it dogwhistles knowing about their roommates too much... as well as making it towards that line of becoming RPF, latter option doesn't really work for a realistic fic.
A compromise that might work would be something like picrel where the 'real' person looks somewhat close to their virtual persona

>>16066996
Yeah, a compromise is probably what I should go for. Might just do something like same hairstyles, but different eye and hair colour.

>>16057682
and noooow I'm interested

>>16053320
Oh no, whatever shall we do? Impregnating chuubas? Say it ain't so!

>>16053320
>my massive impregnation fetish that'll ultimately influence any smut I write.
>problem
Anon, that's a good thing

>>16053320
>I do however have one problem with writing smut which is my massive impregnation fetish that'll ultimately influence any smut I write.
Anon... this is the exact opposite of a problem.

>>16069220
>>16069461
>>16069521
samefag

>>16043003
I really liked this one! I feel you really nailed the characterization of Millie. Especially in the first half, I could hear her voice very clearly in my head while reading her lines. Enna maybe didn't get as much love in this regard, but I'll chalk that up to the plot demanding that she be separate from (You) and Millie at the start.
The smut was mostly fantastic. You captured the feeling of intimacy amazingly, and those threeway kisses in particular were quite dangerous for my heart. If I had to be critical, the pregnancy fetish parts were a bit too much for me at times. I'm all for pumping some babies into chuubas, but the whole shouting "get pregnant!" thing felt tonally discordant with the intimate moments from earlier, almost to the point of parody.
Overall though, it was very enjoyable, and I look forward to reading more of your works!

>>16069758
slapping hoes and screaming at them is a normal gesture of affection, anon

>>16047961
>>16063596
How about just another inversion? Instead of "A heavenly azure, etc.", it'd be "Against this, etc., a heavenly azure". This way not only would the repetition be postponed until the last moment (preventing tediousness), but also the thought would end with the feeling of soothingness (clear sky) rather than somberness (black night).

>>16069853
Anon, I think that anon doesn't mean the shouting, but the content of what's being shouted...

>>16060687
>>16061644
That ain't me dude. I'm still working on it but I had to essentially gut the story and rewrite most of it. I'll probably reuse some of the stuff I gutted for either another story or a future part. Still only about 80% done but I'm already confident with what I've written so I'm not gonna stop end redo everything again so there's that's something I guess

>>16070665
>Flare complimenting your outfit in the background
Need a genki hag wife yesterday

>>16070782
Dude, you have absolutely NO idea how ecstatic I was when I found out she was a hag while I was writing the story

>>16071090
Was it her inclusion in Hag Orgy?

>>16071090
How old is she? I thought she was in her twenties.

>>16069630
Nope. Try again.

>>16071578
28-29, afaik

>>16071652
? Those aren't me.

>>16071674
I see, thanks for sharing.

>>16071652
>>16071819
Sorry, I got confused and thought you were directing it at me. I didn't sleep well yesternight, and I'm still new to this site (using it only occasionally).

>>16071674
lol no

Would anyone be interested to read smut that's written in the female perspective, considering that most, if not all smut here, is written from the male/self insert perspective.

>>16076418
I know one person would but that may be you

>>16076231
How old is she then? I genuinely don't know, but everyone in the Hag threads and the Bakatare threads keeps saying that she's 28-29.

>>16076418
There seems to be a lot of femdom and futa here. Do you believe it's all men? I don't.

>>16077175
I just checked one of those Japanese matome sites. It said she's 33. I haven't watched her much, but she hasn't given me the impression of being old (in her twenties).

>>16077902
Which site did you use? I can't visit quite a few of them for some reason. I keep getting 403'd.

>>16078775
Will I not get banned if I do?

Just search in Japanese: (name) + nakanohito / zensei

>>16079476
No idea actually. I've seen people getting banned for this and that while others have just posted selfies of the roommates without any Mod batting an eye. I have no idea honestly.

Still, your suggestion helped a ton, so thanks!

>>16080822
No problem<3

>>16077175
You have to remember the fanbase for Hololive genuinely think Marine is one of the older members. They also think Fubuki is the same age as Haachama.
If you spend like 10 minutes making a chart of where you think each Holo is age wise you'll see how obvious it is that most Holo's are much older than people think.

>>16076418
Explain your idea for the story first and then let people decide.

>>16085419
Yeah, I see people saying that Marine was older than Mio. Lmao.

>>16076418
Not much of a point for female pov smut when the main male character people here prefer is a reader insert

>>16076418
Yes, absolutely. Like 90% of all dlsite porn games are written from the female perspective and I've grown to love it.

>>16094143
Gaychaama...

>>16076418
I'd read it if only for the novelty

>>16094601
Comfortable enough in my own sexuality to self-insert as the woman, actually.

>>16095196
I was just joking at first but now

>>16096697
"Gay" is used for "homosexual". If we speak properly, homosexuality means attraction to the same sex, not penetration. What about those few men who are attracted only to women yet like getting pegged?

>>16098151
Gay means anything he doesn't like, anonchama.

>>16098698
Just a cheap one-word ad hominem like many others, I know, but sometimes I like thinking humans in general are not fucking acephalic and can actually be educated.
That's all.

>>16098151
I can't help but notice you aren't denying self-inserting as a female being penetrated by a male, which would make you at the very least a faggot, if not gay.

>>16099331
>Just a cheap one-word ad hominem like many others

I can't help but notice how much you're trying to oppose as if your ass were actually aching for it. Repressing yourself. *You* are the faggot.

>>16099331
Also, I find it interesting that when that anon said female POV, I simply imagined lesbian sex, but you thought of being penetrated by a man. See the absolute repressed faggot you are?

>>16099476
Now you're just jumping at shadows and throwing out random arguments. For this conversation to proceed, we have to take as given that both of us are comfortable with our sexualities. Now, just using the facts previously established, you are the one comfortable with the idea of being a woman and having a dick in you, whereas I am not particularly comfortable with that idea at all. I don't think that it's an unreasonable conclusion to reach, then, that you are by far the gayer of us two.

>>16099331
>>16099476
Y'know you're not even talking to the same guy anymore, right? Quit being a shithead.

>>16100607
You are a fool, and it is unreasonable simply to assume defense necessarily means personal intentions and involvement. Have you never heard the proverbial expression "Devil's advocate", you uncultured swine?

>>16100737
Irrelevant, since it's the same stance. And if they believe cheap words are really offensive and work against other people, why not use them against them, if rationality works not?

>>16100577
>>16100607
>>16101348
This was an interesting rhetorical point to make, so I took the liberty of checking dlsite. When you said "90% of dlsite porn games have female protagonists" I took this obviously to be hyperbole, but saying you "grew to love them" seems like a pretty cut-and-dry statement, without any qualifications or conditions attached.

Now, let's take as granted that female-on-female, presumptively, isn't gay as we understand it from a male (100% heterosexual) perspective. Approximately 6190 H games under the "female protagonist" tag exist on dlsite. Filtering for "female protagonist" AND "Yuri/girl's love"(being a more accurate tag for the genre we're supposing is not gay) yields approximately 700 results.

Mathematically then, using your previously unconditional love for for genre and taking your later statements on faith, you're approximately 11.3% straight, or 88.7% gay.

>>16101348
No heterosexual man types the way you do, sorry.

>>16102100
YOU'RE not talking to the same guy either. I'm not even taking part in this retarded fucking conversation.

The guy who initially called me a fag sucks more dick than Freddie Mercury. End of.

>>16102404
You are no heterosexual man, you can't judge based on your own typing.

Also, ad hominem. Do you know the expression? Look it up. It says something very difficult to understand, something like "personal characteristics or circumstances do not make an argument and are often irrelevant". What could it mean?

>>16103063
beisdo. doupu. supaaritto.

>>16103063
That's sort of an odd thing to bring up when I replied to myself. I was just trying to cite those particular messages to provide context for the post, though you are correct that I only meant to address the person who likes penis.

>>16103156
Means you're gay

>>16104037
No u. Faggot.

>>15925585
An NTR fic that is just drama and emotional pain, with the sex being out of focus.

>>16015542
I sort of kept adding more and more without even considering anon's endgoal. The story went too far from its original path too quickly, though it was intended, I didn't realize that that's not how good stories are made too little too late. Those meaningless moments in between action, those are what people loved the most, and I think the fact that I consider those moments "meaningless" is already proof of my unhealthy mindset for writing. I need to learn to slow down the pace and focus on the world building instead of throwing anon into scenario after scenario.

>>16033056
If I were to edit out the story, I'd literally just erase everything that happened after meeting the riverside vagabond desu, or perhaps taken the Indonesians in a different way, perhaps staying with them for a while before anything actually happened. In short, there's no editing to be done, only a complete redo would save the previous chapters. From now on it's just going to be a really bumpy ride to get back to order, and then once it's all wrapped up nicely, I can start doing better with the criticism in mind.

>>16105053
>In short, there's no editing to be done, only a complete redo would save the previous chapters. From now on it's just going to be a really bumpy ride to get back to order, and then once it's all wrapped up nicely, I can start doing better with the criticism in mind.
Yeah. This is pretty much the best attitude to take for a fanfic. I have seen way too many fanfics that just up and died because the author wanted to rework their stuff. Hope you can rerail it to what you want it to be shadowlive author.

>>16091200
speak for yourself. the only people who prefer self-inserts are narcissists.

>>16106906
Speak for yourself. The only people who think people who prefer self-inserts are narcissists are narcissists.

>>16107602
This except unironically

>>16076418
Do what you want, anon! The truth is that humans are retarded and there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. No matter whether you're a woman or a homosexual and want a fic closer to home, or if you just want to experiment and put your abilities to test: write it.

>>16091200
>>16106906
>>16107602
>>16107678
>Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one's physical appearance and an excessive pre-occupation with one's own needs, often at the expense of others.
Speak for yourself. Self-insert sounds narcissistic to me, the only people whose opinion I prefer.

>>16115006
Journeyman bait, but good punchline

>>16115006
How about instead of preferring a narcissistic opinion, you instead prefer deez nuts in your mouth, fag?

>>16115182
Thank you<3

>>16115569
>he wants to sex with another man
>the uninterested heterosexual man is the fag, of course
Go suck a cock, cocksucker.

>>16105053
I get you man. I'd do anything to go back in time and fix some previous chapters of my story, but you can only live and learn I guess.

>>16116607
Yeah, while for any other kind of writing editing and revising would absolutely be good practice for fanfiction in particular; nothing would kill the passion to make it faster than going over it to try and refine it to be better.

Which holo would be the most likely to fall in love with a serial killer? Or someone that they're afraid of?

>>16118867
Watame

>>16118867
Watame because she would see the good in him and try to change him for the better. Or through stockholm syndrome

>>16118942
>>16118982
Ahh, ok. I didn't think about her even once but now that you mention it she could be a good choice. Thanks.

>>16118867
Definitely Watame. Rushia as well would try to see past the bad. Maybe Polka too.

>>16118535
If you want my advice: practice makes perfect, habit makes practice.
Build the habit of "revising" and "editing" the works of others instead of your own, with close reading. What is badly written, and what can be expressed better and why? Why was something said in a certain way? Is the cause reasonable, or may there be another reason? Etc.

Lately I've been trying to be on the lookout for figures and strategies from rhetoric to collect them and study them later (rhetoric is truly everywhere), and although at first it was bothersome, I'm beginning to do it unconsciously, without thinking.
Today I watched an episode of a generic trash isekai, and without much effort began thinking of things that could be changed to make the story better or more appealing (at least for my taste). Things like that.

>>16118867
Serial killers have much more of a chance to date them than your average andy. So all of them technically, but I'd go with the dumber ones who generally can't put two and two together, so Aqua and all of EN 1 & 2.

>>16119225
What about Coco? She likes Yakuza and befriended a dude who supposedly got in jail for sexual assault.

>>16118867
Watame and Korone would be perfect as they'd be too busy to notice the boyfriend doing serial killer business... but Korone would be able to sniff blood, so he would have to bathe really well.

>>16119464
I don't think Coco would befriend someone genuinely evil.

>>16118867
Watame is too nice for her own good

>>16119802
Damn, didn't know Coco had magical eyes that could the evil souls of people. That's awesome!

>>16120158
You fucking idiot she's a fucking dragon. You're so dumb you didn't even think of that before responding. They literally CAN see through you, they are the wisest creatures in mythology.

>>16120459
Naruhodone!! Suggoooi!

>>16120459
If dragons are so cool then explain how Smaug got mogged by Bard.

>>16120158
socially autistic

>>16119802
>>16120459
What about a promortalist? They wouldn't believe they're evil. And it's not like killing is always wrong.

>>16120833
Here's the point where I stop caring. Write what you want.

>>16120767
Explain. Anyone can call names and utter sounds out of their filthy mouths; few do actually possess knowledge and reason.

>>16120919
no. you're either pekofag or someone equally as stupid and in both cases it's not worth expending any effort at all

>>16120919
you're annoying

>>16121092
There's someone in this thread trying to be that which I stopped. Starting arguments with "fool", using the same spacing method, generally using longer words and making text walls. Makes me wonder if it's intentional or not. Or perhaps it comes with the type?

>>16118535
>>16119393
http://rhetoric.byu.edu/Pedagogy/Rhetorical%20Analysis%20heuristic.htm

>>16121092
Keep coping, or else you'll likely not be able to withstand.

>>16121138
>>16121262
That's probably me. Sorry if I have bothered you; it's just that I'm accustomed to let my mind run its course and follow thoughts, instead of killing it as soon as it looks like it's working.

And intentional for what, in your opinion? What is the stereotype like? Also, what is the little word you use to magically invalidate all their arguments? "Autism", too?

>>16121732
Why do you talk like everyone can't tell you don't speak English as your first language?

>>16121908
Look at my 4chan bingo and tell me which are lacking: edgy, cringe, fag(got), nigger, autistic, ESL.
Does any of these work on you? What makes you believe they work on other people?

>>16122110
That's great champ but you didn't answer my question

>>16122247
Because it's loaded and imbecilic. You haven't answered mine either.

>>16122432
Cause I asked you first

>>16121732
>intentional for what
Reading comprehension

>>16122600
And you say you stopped, which means you lack reading comprehension. No wonder. ;)

what the fuck is going on right now

>>16122894
Earlythreadfag has shit to do he's gotta get to the bump limit NOW

>>16122894
Two retards fighting.

>>16122894
/wg/ can't stop taking the bait.

>>16123019
bring the pekofag back teach them a lesson

>>16123164
Nigger he's still here. Do you think his ego would have him leave?

>>16123281
I'm here but the PF is long gone

which holostar has the greatest capacity for evil

>>16125174
None, they're all very nice gentlemen.

>>15925558
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQrj0d2haoiSpIISQiPUJto5TegPT9-YpMRFVT3N6Z_r1hmYvtFw6pRgLXjh2Mo4XrB8k0cXuhIqSRC/pub

I think I'm going to start a collection of short stories. They'll vary in tone, scope, setting and genre. Here's the first.

>>16125174
Well Oga's a demon, Astel is a kusogaki and Temma has a dark side to him. They're all gentlemen but these three would be the top contenders if I had to pick one of them to be evil.

>>16126047
I'm usually not a fan of short stories, but you were pretty good at conveying the sad emotion of this piece. I feel like if this was at the end of a long story it would have been really impactful.

>>16128667
I guess you could also make them accomplices to one of the girls that is easier to portray as evil

>>16125174
Dark knight Temma is a truly evil man.

>>16126047
It's honestly a bit confusing... But it hits hard enough that this confusion doesn't matter. Also perfectly demonstrates the power of a 'normal girl' like Sora

>>16128667
>>16129607
I went back and reread it (and fixed some of the typos) and now that you say it, I could repurpose that into something else I've been working on. It'd fit quite well. I'll think about if I want to do it.

>>16126047
why does it keep switching between first and second person

>>16131839
Because it's obvious whoever wrote it is a new writer.

>>16065986
Ok to make this a bit easy for you Roboco looks exactly like Roboco just with human legs.

>>16065986
Why would you ever bring roommate shit in a story about virtual YouTubers?

>>16065986
Just make them streamers and stop overcomplicating things for no reason.

>>16043003
Fuckin incredible work once again dude, I had a feeling you were the one who wrote stolen dreams judging by the characters and the title at the top. The way you wrote the smut was incredibly hot but what really made this great was the emotion and sheer passion of the prose written. Like what >>16043855 said, it was the tooth rotting sweetness of the romance and passion that elevated it to something greater. Also,
>Impregnation fetish
Unfathomably based

>>16133161
Nooo her weird robot talon feet things are what make it hot.

>>16133435
Then I don’t know how you want to write it in the real world.

New thread
>>16133483

>>16133467
I ain't the original anon asking, I just really love RBC and the whole metal package she comes in

Stay motivated. I'm rooting for you.

>>16135728
Retard.

>>16135728
Rabbit sex.

>>16126047
I like to listen to music while I read, and as I read that last line: https://youtu.be/KLgQKiUk7ms?t=190
some things just align perfectly I guess.
the song itself goes pretty well with the story I think