/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>10589583
Do not speak my name in vain.

>>10586149
Without getting into my interpretations of her personality, I see her as something that combines these relationships. I am certainly drawn to her on an erotic and emotional level, but this pertains to her personality as such, the person behind the mask, rather than her avatar so to speak. However in equal measure I see her as being in dire need of someone else's experience and guidance, which could be interpreted as a daughterfu kind of attachment. Here I am faced with the simple fact that I am becoming old, jaded, cynical and disappointed in everyone and everything, and the desire to help her to not have the visceral life experiences I've had or the approximations of them. The desire to protect her both from malevolent outside influences and her own foolishness is great. All of this loops back into my understanding of her as being a strangely well developed person, which is a rarity in the modern world. She fascinates me for that reason and I see merit in her existence, and if it were not so I wouldn't feel strongly about her.

I have almost no attachments to anyone IRL and I've ghosted my remaining friends. I am utterly alone, yet do not feel lonely. The reason for that is both my age and more than that my ever-growing contempt for everyone. Gura stands as one of the only examples I can think of that interests me as a person and with whom I'd willingly do stuff or interact without using a mask. However, she is not a crutch for me. She isn't filling a void or absence of human interaction (work and so on makes sure of that) but offers a glimmer of a chance that somewhere out there there may be people with whom I could have a genuine relationship because they themselves are genuinely themselves and compatible with who I am. In hindsight, I never had this.

Gura has also showcased myself to myself through contrast with who she is, which made me realize some things about myself. This is an unprecedented event for me because when it did happen it happened through literature. People like Jung, or Evola, or other greats. Here however it happened through the mere existence of another living person who didn't even know I was there or had such intentions. It is an act of ultimate kindness that occurred naturally by the virtue of her simply being herself.

I find it amusing that she probably wouldn't like me in any way because of my hard opinions. I do not budge. I do not negotiate. There is only YES and NO here, with little shading. I am cruel, cold, and merciless. Naturally, I am drawn to femininity. And Gura is quite feminine.

One thing is certain. Marriage and children really are the end goal and fulfillment. If we fail to accomplish this both of us will surely meet our doom, and it will be a miserable, prolonged kind of doom with no nobility, purpose or meaning. Just failure. Anyone who thinks otherwise and imagines something "greater" than that for himself has drank the kool aid and is deluding himself. I just hope she realizes this herself before it's too late, and that she chooses well.

For those of us who weren't day 1 Chumbuds what was the first stream you caught live?
>Amnesia Rebirth