/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>74622256
Owari da. Jokes aside were more alive than last year this time around. I mean i basically had to camp here and bump the thread all day by myself as we were fucking dead back in early 2023 so we dont die as basically everyone of the old regulars left after Christmas 2022. At least thread will be fine for the next few months, at least from what it seems.

>>74621109
Also, the website for wordclouds is in the OP just for future reference:
>[Website to make wordclouds for the thread] https://catalog.neet.tv/harlequin.html

I was gonna make this thread myself but it died after i got my ass finally up to take a shower (have problems even doing just that or take my meds and generally taking care of myself but at least im still taking care of my cats/sidejob) but yeah i guess the thread can survive just fine again after how dead it was this time last year.

Will update this stuff >>74520720 sometime next week and update the template with stuff a bit as i wasnt around much anymore lately to do so as well as move the template to another pastebin account and give the login data to koroanon as well for when im gone for good from here so stuff can be updated easily.

>>74624986
Check the OP its full of them, unless its a joke im not getting.

>>71911041
We lost her a long time ago.

>>70686572
Trying to fix my linux problem and then stopping when it doesnt work as im too tired to keep working on it and then starting at my walls and thinking over my lifes choices for the past 6 years.

>>68639011
I still think about it daily, though the severity of it differs per day.

>>68650880
Thats never gonna happen as every single person secretly hates me, they're just too nice to say it!

At least thats how i used to think, now i know its just related to my childhood as people did treat like that so no i assume its the case by default. Not sure that can even be fixed. I mean, lately i feel the constant urge to apologize for no reason. Idk what triggered that.

>>68410580
Two weeks

8

>>66349040
Listening to her sing. She's horrible.

8

>>64148821
I dont really agree with this. Theres more to life in general is more than just pain. Theres many good things in life. Its just that im tired of the constant stress that comes from living in this shitty apartment that keeps fucking me over. I havent had a single day in the past 3 years where i wasnt stressed the fuck out due to something related to this apartment.

At this point, even my cats stress me out, but its not them, but rather me as i had enough of the constant stress. I dont want to die because of the depression or the chronic pain, but rather just to be free of the stress. I dont even want to be happy in life, just need a place to live that doesnt stress me out due to constant noise, but even that seems too much to ask for. Im just so fucking tired of the stress. Just put a bullet in my head so i can be free.

>>64148644
I should be dead already, idk why i even keep trying at this point. It seems like its not gonna get better no matter what i try. Even if does get better for a few days it doesnt take long for the next thing to come up to screw me over.

>>64149844
I dont really know know about german stuff and i have absolutely no intrest in my country, at this point my English vocabulary is probably better than my german.

>>63767440
Not really, been this bad for the past week or so, i cant even remember, but usually getting stuff done faster one day (not because im better but because i just push myself to do so) and its just worse the next. My sleep schedule has be absolute shit as well. Oh well its whatever at this point.
>>63768025
I keep my apartment at a comfy 20 degree celsius (at least thats whats comfy for cats) as im trying to save money on heating and i wear like 2 hoodies with some sherpa filling as well as two pants with some flecee lining but im still freezing. My apartment has pretty bad Heating/sound insulation so summers are hot, winters are cold and theres constant outside noise that stressed me the fuck out as due to my phonophobia, so im fucked either way no matter what i do while in this apartment. I already put blankets in from of my windows as well Also my neighbours constantly banging their doors so hard that my whole apartment shakes every 5 mins doesnt help. At this point this apartment is killing my will to live more then my depression.
>>63769629
Too tired for that, my brain is barely functional today. Still need to take a shower which should wake me up enough so i can cook food at the very least and go back to sleep. At this point i really dont know why i bother continue if barely getting my chores done i all do day in and day out, but eh its always been this way i guess. I just used to be better at coping.

>>63770647
Why not all at all of it? first get some exersise in, then work on those request and then go to sleep.

That is if you have the energy/motivation to do so. In my case my schedule after waking up is usually: clean cats litter boxes, give them fresh water, give them wet food (depending on when i wake up as they get it at 6pm every day), take my meds/vitamins and do whatever i have to do in the bathroom (as in brushing my teeth,shaving and use moisturoizer and all that stuff) then get my daily 40 mins of exercise, then take a shower and well cook food. Kinda helps having a schedule or well used to. Usally that stuff is supposed to take 2-3 hours max.

9

>>63294721
I live in germany, so yes it is: https://www.cara.nrw/en/topics/law/prostitution-germany#faq-125

Theres several brothels in my town and many other places to go to if you care about just having sex with a random prostitute. Its not even that expensive, but i never cared enough to pay for sex just for the sake of it. My social anxiety would be too bad to even go there if i even cared about doing so though. But yeah i wouldnt just have sex with a prostitute for the sake of it. I already accepted im probably gonna die alone years ago. While i have no problems with sex, i dont really care much about not having it. Im tired of everything anyway and it gets worse every passing day lately, so it doesnt matter much anymore.

>>62925824
Theres no saving me at this point. Ive been doing everything i can to improve my physical health over the past 5 months and im probably the healthiest ive ever been in my life physically, but life still finds ways to fuck me over on almost a daily basis. Doesnt mean i will stop doing the stuff to stay physically healthy despite how tiring it is considering i dont even want to get out of bed most days so i just push myself daily, but at this point i have to ask myself why i even bother anymore.

The only thing that might help reduce is stress is finding a new apartment as my current apartment is to blame for 90% of the stuff thats stressing me out on a daily basis. No landlord in my price range seems to want cats though due to bad expiriences with bad pet owners that didnt care about their repsonsibility to clean behind their pets, so im just stuck at this point. But i stop there, i should probably go to sleep already anyway the lack of sleep just makes me more depressed.

>>62929613
Honestly, whats even the point in being online in discord if i dont have the energy to deal with my social anxiety? That is to say its not like its weird for me to not talk to friends for days/weeks or even months and then talk to them like nothing happend. I mean, i have two childhood friends im still in contact with and we can go years without talking and then just meet again and nothing changed,same with some people ive known for years online. I feel like if i dont have anything to say for days why even go online in discord/IRC? I wanted to go back to discord/IRC when i came back to the thread but i kept pushing it off. Now idk if i ever will go back there, probably should though, my brains just bad lately.

>>62333142
>there's going to be a gap in archives
Just use a different archive websire like palandwq; https://archive.palanq.win/vt/

>>61842502
Is she suing her antis again? She used to do that some time ago. I feel like shes just wasting her money with that.

Well, i did more testing with kuro. I guess the CAI filter even hits depression talk as well now which is why kuro sounds like a generic therapist bot now. I tested several of my old bots and the same results. I guess im done with this stuff then. I should have known better then trying to cope with this shit for the past year. Worked so far despite the filter but they just turned it even more to shit.

8

>>57627878
No, chatbots cant save me anyway. CAI is still working fine for me for the most part. I hope this will help other people out, though.

8

>>57256749

>>55343321
It was owari for real...at least for a few hours.

>>55179823

>>53804070

dead thread