/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>42236482
Basically a nervous breakdown. He says it's happened a few other times in his life and took a couple months for him to recover each time.

Long version: He has horrific social anxiety and it's obvious to anyone who watches him how neurotic and self-defeating his brain is. He's so afraid of ruining someone else's day/life that, between the two, he feels it's safer not to interact at all. This even includes dear friends. Solo streaming is different for him because he internalized the impossibility of pleasing every single viewer in the audience, so he finds it oddly freeing. But even collabing with Dez, he still worries that he could say something that would upset him. And he's such a wreck right now that he just can't handle that weight and is shutting himself in his house and cutting himself off from the world till he recovers

It's stupid and illogical but in a "his brain is wired wrong, poor thing" way. My brain is also wired wrong and fighting itself all the time, and it's hell living like this on the inside, for as obnoxious as it is for other people to deal with on the outside. So I get it. It's disappointing but I get it. I don't like to deal with me either.

P.S. There exists a thing called autistic burnout. I haven't looked into it a ton yet, and I can't speak for him, of course, but there's a lot of overlap between autism and anxiety and things they're still studying
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/autistic-burnout-explained/
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/03/well/live/autistic-burnout-advice.html

P.P.S. Chat reflects the streamer, so there are a lot of Vesties that also have horrible anxiety and understand, which can explain part of how accepting they are of his whole mess right now. I have a close friend with intense levels of both anxiety and love for Vesper, and she gets him on a higher level than I do with my comparatively less intense levels of anxiety/Vesper-obsession