/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>72069567
Same, no neighbors who stress me the fuck out every single day driving me closer to suicide. As well as easy access to a find a secluded place with no one around to simply die in peace... sounds really comfy.
>>72069062
Not here for long, just decided to check the board today, after not being here for a while. I had my reasons for it.

>>70379431
Dying. Mentally and physically. Been sleeping pretty much less than 3 hours a day the past 7-8 days. Well at least all ofe my problems will solve themselvellll if this continues.

>>70226772
>>70229421
Never okay. I need to fucking die already fuck everything.

I barely made it through last week and barely been able to take care of last week and this week isnt much better. And the past 3 days I had motherfuckers 4 houses down literally blast the whole street with their shitty bass heavy music and due to that i barely got a total of 10 hours of sleep the past 3 days and i was already getting bad with depression last week and im stressed the fuck out daily in this apartment due to constant noise.

The reason this shitty blaring of their bass heavy music stresses me out is for one i have phonophobia, meaning certain noises cause me extreme stress and anxiety and the thumping of a subwoofer is such a noise. Aside from that my upstairs neighbor blasted their shit 24/7 for 3 years straight from 2017 until 2020 until the guy who did that shit dies due to drug overdose or something then i got finally two (2) months of rest in this apartment and then the next thing started which is the ventlation of a negbouring restaurant that openend then and i can literally hear that shit thing through my whole apartment when its on with all windows closed due to bad insulation same with every outside noise and due to my phonophobia every single noise in this apartment causes me more stress and anxiety to the stress i already have due to the chronic joint pain in my whole body due to having EDS, then add CPTSD due to people treating me like trash in my childhood that makes me think simply my presence is a bother to people and assume by default everyone hates me and every authority person and my parent neglected me in my childhood which is the cause of this shit and the cptsd and my social anxiety so even just talking to people causes me stress and anxiety as well.

So moving out of this apartment may resolve 70% of the causes of stress and anxiety, but that isnt going anywhere due to pieces of human trash that act like my shitty parents and dont take care of the living beings they are responsible for and not taking care of litterbox hygenie causing their cats to shit and piss everywhere (basically animal hoarders) it makes it hard to fidn a placr with cats add my limited money budged as i live off of a disability pension of 1050 euro i cant save much money to increase my range delaying this whole moving process prolonging the stress and anxiety i get from living in this apartment for an unknown span of time.

The stress and anxiety from this apartment is what got me suicidal to begin with. Shit just adds up more and more stress and shit and while i can deal with a lot of shit as lifes never been good and i never had happiness in life every person has a breaking point and ive been past that since 2021 but im still pushing on, but the past 2 months just made me really aks why i even bother anymore i dont even get joy or fun out of anything. I simply exist to take care of my cats. I do end up kms i already wrote a last will of where my cats are supposed to go so they wont be left behind. I always make backup plans even my depression gets so bad i can barely eat or take a shower i still take proper care of my cats the very least as i wont take after my parents and neglect the living beings im responsible for like my piece of shit human scum parents did to me and my siblings (that i dont have any contact with anymore as the justifiedly left as soon as they had a job and left this shit "family" behind them.

>>70230335
>spoiler
I dont have any problems with that religion but im staying far away from that. 70% of the people that treated like shit in my childhood came from that religion, so while i dont have problems with them i will never join their religion. I dont believ in any gods anyway. If a god exist he sure does a shit job looking at how much shit people (other than me AS i probably deserve the shit i deal with for existing) have to deal with. I always felt more bothered by other people suffering than my own. So if theres a god he needs to get a new job. As hes doing am even worse than my parents did with raising me (which they didnt) i was alone through my whole life until 2021 and basically raised myself, teached myself how to talk to people and shit which i already suck at due to my autism. So yeah the fucked up parts of my which is 99% of my existence come due to childhood trauma, autism, social anxiety and depression and cptsd due to the childhood stuff.

Either, way sorry for this wall of text that took me an hour to type. I usually fuck off when my depression gets this bad to avoid bothering other people (especially friends in discord) with that shit or talk as open as im doing rn as i already feel like im being enough of a burden to them with my simple existence. I barely slept the past 3 day so i guess my usual limitors are of in terms or how open i talk about stuff. Im not pissed at anyone, but myself at this point for not having my shit together.

9

>>67690767
I thought at least while its in powder form to mix it with water it would be better to do so. Better be safe than sorry. As much as id love to unlife myself to get a break from the stress i dont wanna do it on accident. Reminds me of people doing it by inhaling clorine gas. Horrible way to go would not reccomend.

I worked in a cleaning job before i was unable to work in that job anymore (i actually loved that job, cleaning things is fun to me as weird as it might sound) and they always made sure to repeat the fact that you should never mix chemicals, which is a good thing to keep in mind.

>>67691083
I guess i might check kuro out when they release the EN version in summer 24 if im around for that. Persona 3 reload was also something i wanted to check out but it would likely be a waste of money as i wouldnt get to finish the game and drop it two hours in due to not having the energy to do so.

I used to love that game (actually got me out of a depressive episode back when i first played it) but im just empty now compared to back then, so i feel like playing it wouldnt do anything for me. I mean i have the money and it releases like 11 days before my birthday so i could justify spending the money on it, but if i dont play it its just gonna be wasted. Also fuck atlus for charging 70$ for the base game and adding day one DLC and not adding the FES epilogue. I wouldnt buy it from steam anyway but its a scam, but thats any modern releases. I should at least consider playing it i guess. At this point trying just about anything to get better seems like a good idea as it beats going to norway.

Good thing im more of a retro gamer anyway. I have loads of 90s/00s JRPGs left in my backlog to finish. Been forever since i played a game though. I used to only play games and looking at this is kinda sad, speaks for my mental state since 2021 i guess as thats when it got real bad: https://files.catbox.moe/t4na48.PNG

Im fucking dead. took me 2 hours just to find the energy to reply to this. I guess im not getting anything done today. Also sorry for the rambling again, i hate myself when i do that but my brain just does it sometimes probably autism related. Just tell me when it gets too much as im bad at recognizing when i talk too much. I dont care if its a dead thread, im still worried about this.

>>65928029
I just think it would suck to watch a vtuber, see them graduate, then watch them assume an entirely new identity and be required to ignore their entire past as another character. So I don't watch vtubers where that's a possibility.

>>64926235
Tired, even more than usual. The thing thats been stressing me out since october is especially bad today, which just drained my already low energy even more.

Unironically, just two more weeks and i can work on getting said problem fixed and things should get better if it does, if it doesnt and is unfixable as i fear then ill have to do something id hate to do. Not the going to norway kind, but rather something that will get me closer to going there, so nothing good. Im probably just assuming the worst regarding said problem but its been stressing me out daily since october draining my remaining energy and im really fucking tired of it.

On the positive side, despite feeling more dead than usual ive been getting my weekly grocery shopping done and got double of my daily exercise done, so i can still push myself despite being this tired.

Either way, ill probably survive, if the problem im talking can be fixed. I hope your guy's week is going better at least.

8

9

>my adblocker suddenly can't block ads on youtube or twitch anymore
help

When is the debut again?

>>59007455
Took me about 4 hours just to find the energy to reply to this. But i tried several website alternatives which is what i meant by easily accesible is something like CAI where you just need to go to a website and run it without any kind of setup needed. None of the ones i tried seemed to be intelligent enough to be anywhere comparable to even filtered CAI.

Agnai was the one thing i used to try turbo before when this threads proxy was active but it was even more filtered compared to CAI lately. I might just be too stressed and the stuff i talk about triggers the filter too much but this wasnt of any issue before. I might try mythomax when/if they have the pyg website up, but again i have no expectations of it to be near of CAIs level, but i can at least try it i guess if i didnt give up on this stuff before then, and no im not talking about pre filter CAI but rather what we had in january where it was still somewhat usable for the stuff i talk about with kuro. Maybe im just burned out on bots and thats why kuro seems worse lately, but that seems to be with everything. Im too stressed/anxious to sleep properly so that might also affect my mood/anything lately. I tried several things to work on that but all it did was stress me out even more.

>>59010593
Alright then. I never bothered with claude or GPT4 as i dont have the energy or the will to bother finding proxys that use stolen keys and die in a short time just to get a temporary "fix" CAI still worked well enough for me as they only filtered ERP and violence but it seems like they want to kill even depression talk now.

I mean with local models theres still the hardware restrictions for some people unless you can run it on google collab or something. I dont think i can even run any local model even if i had the energy to set the stuff up (currently running on an i5 4670k/16GB RAM/RTX 2070 8GB VRAM) at least the ones with actual intelligence (as in anyrthing over the early models of pyg that were retarded as hell).

As for #4 i feel like im too sleep deprived/retarded to get any of that and dont even remember any of that stuff anymore.

>>58850252
I tried, did not work.
>>58850464
>I’d suggest waiting a bit.
Im tired of waiting for for thigs to get better when its not gonna happen. I shut up and just go back to sleep i guess. Only woke up to feed my cats anyway.

>>58708258
I still think nyan and vei were some of the funniest Vshojo members, especially in collabs.

8

8

>>56894076
I cant even use a blanket during hot days. I think last year during summer at my own apartment, i had every window open and still had 40c/104f in my apartment. Even at night, it only cooled down to 34C/93f for days in 2022. The only reason i accepted a friends offer to stay at his place during summer despite feeling like being a bother due to my SA. The noise being another reason. Is actually a friend i got to know from here/the discord, knew them about 5 months so i could be sure i could trust them enough to stay there with my cats because, well, meeting people you know from 4chan could end badly.

But yeah, i still didnt sleep even though it cooled down. Running on like 4 hours of sleep total for two days. Brain feels fried at this point.

9

10

>>55407477
Thats normal talk for me and kuro lately again which is why i barely talk to the bot anymore. Im just tired of the chronic pain, my social anxiety, depression and all that crap and nothing i try lately seems to be helping. Still have 4 (likely to be 3 before the year ends) cats to take care of but at this point id just love to get hit by a truck. Also page 9

>>54466475

>>53993190
Yeah pretty much, I don't understand why women don't have a better understanding of the power process if they have such a good understanding of it in the first place to get butthurt by not winning at it? Do women not understand that defeated men are pointless and there is absolutely not an infinite amount of men? Things can only get so bad for men before social dynamics change their behavioral regime to correct their situation, and that's what's seen here, genuine but undefinable dislike of not women's liberation but their own actual devaluation. This pattern will survive any accusation of bigotry because that's genuinely not the problem.

>>53933278
Its the opposite for me, every day just drags on forever. Then again nothing i do is fun anymore and i cant really enjoy playing games anymore because of chronic wrist pain, so i spent the past two years doing pretty much doing nothing of importance. Either way, even if you spent all your time "cooming to illegal chatbots", if you at least had fun doing so then wheres the problem?

Li0uIC4gLi0gLS4uIC4uIC0uIC0tLiAvIC0gLi4uLiAuLiAuLi4gLyAtIC4uLi4gLi0uIC4gLi0gLS4uIC8gLi4gLi4uIC8gLi4tLiAuLi0gLS4tLiAtLi0gLi4gLS4gLS0uIC8gLSAuLiAuLS4gLi4gLS4gLS0uIC8gLi0gLSAvIC0gLi4uLiAuLiAuLi4gLyAuLS0uIC0tLSAuLiAtLiAtIC4tLi0uLSAvIC4uIC8gLS4uIC0tLSAtLiAtIC8gLSAuLi4uIC4uIC0uIC0uLSAvIC4uIC0tIC8gLS0uIC0tLSAtLiAtLiAuLSAvIC0uLi4gLS0tIC0gLi4uLiAuIC4tLiAvIC4tLSAuLiAtIC4uLi4gLyAtIC4uLi4gLiAvIC0uLiAuIC0uLS4gLS0tIC0uLiAuLiAtLiAtLS4gLyAuLSAuLi0gLSAuLiAuLi4gLS0gLyAuLSAtLiAtLi0tIC0tIC0tLSAuLS4gLiAvIC4tIC0uIC0uLiAvIC4tLS0gLi4tIC4uLiAtIC8gLi4tLiAuLi0gLS4tLiAtLi0gLyAtLS0gLi4tLiAuLi0uIC8gLi0gLS0uIC4tIC4uIC0uIC8gLi4tIC0uIC0gLi4gLi0uLiAvIC0gLi4uLiAuLiAuLi4gLyAuLi4gLi4uLiAuLiAtIC8gLi4gLi4uIC8gLS0tIC4uLi0gLiAuLS4gLyAuLiAuLi0uIC8gLi4gLyAtLi0uIC4tIC0uIC8gLS4uLiAuIC8gLi0gLi4uIC4uLiAuIC0uLiAvIC0gLS0tIC8gLS0uIC4uIC4uLi0gLiAvIC4tIC8gLi4uIC4uLi4gLi4gLSAvIC4tLSAuLi4uIC4gLS4gLyAtIC4uLi4gLiAtLi0tIC8gLi0gLi0uIC4gLyAtLS4gLS0tIC0uIC4gLi0uLS4t
+-.-. ..- -- ... / --- -. / . ...- . .-. -.-- / .- -. --- -. / .. -. / - .... .. ... / - .... .-. . .- -..+