/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Gentlemen, for the past few days, I haven't been able to sleep, I keep hearing noises under my bed at night, it sounds like someone licking and sucking and slurping something, I feel like there's another presence other than myself in my house, I can just... Feel it, every time I go to the bathroom, I can just feel it right behind me, and every time I don't look sooner than before I can feel it getting closer, and I keep hearing these awful slurping noises, but as soon as I look behind me, It's gone, I once caught a glimpse of it, it had pale white skin, and a banana on his hair, it also had a very short frame(5'8), but I couldn't make out any further details.
Every time I pee, my stream sways away steadily under my bed rather than land in the toilet water, even when I jerk off, my semen flows respective to the air currents manipulating it go under my bed, in fact these air currents are so strong, they attract phallic objects in an odd fashion from miles away, I had sustained property damage by having my windows broken several times, I even almost got hit once by one, it was a large plastic horse penis that flew perpendicular to my head but it missed by a centimeter crashing into my wall then rolling to my bedroom to reside under my bed to whatever is attracting them.
Gentlemen, I am scared, I woke up several times without my pants, and I don't know what to do, I will call 911, and pray they take care of whatever is under my bed.

Sorry for being a doxxfag, but I had to share my experience.
I saw Shu Yamino at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen bags of chips in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bags and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bag and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly (tskr).

>>23404437

>>23334188
Yes

>>23276034
I love Shu three!

>>23219267
They got all pent up getting teased by this yamato nadeshiko they can't wait for the offpako any longer

>>23183736
>>23183815
Shu awakens his inner ojisan, he cant resist