/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>72798139
first of all, congratulations on capturing that "No nonsense 2010 battle harem" feel. Its such an unique feeling that makes me go "god damn i want a violent tsundere to stall this plot! this rules!"
I think the Lui characterization is top notch, specially with the exchanges and teasing. Is it a bit cliche? maybe,but i have nothing against those if they are well executed and here works great.

But with that being said, i think the problem with your fight scene AND the narration is that it...lingers in scenes. Its like are describing cgs in a game, and that makes it all look static.

>“What makes you think you can interrupt important Omaru-za busin–” his words suddenly halted with his body launching up in the air. In the time I blinked the muscle-bound man had suddenly vanished and in his place was the woman with her fist in the air.

Here, for example i can picture the scene clearly...but it isnt that dynamic. IF anything, calling back to that 2010 harem feel, it feels like a freeze frame where the scene goes.
>Girl punches
>Guy flies away. Stops in the air
>Everyone looks at him
>we describe how he looks
>time resumes
>He lands

My two cents here would be triying to paint the movement rather than the "keyframe" moments
>"What makes you think you can deal with Omaru-"
*CRUNCH*
The gorilla never finishes his sentence as he sails across the alleway over Ace and his gang, eyes white as he crashes into an open trashcan. In just a second, this girl has sent a man twice her stature packing.

Of course this is just an example. I think the idea of her being faster than you can follow works, but it needs to have a change of pace or it feels static and almost like its a turn based rpg fight. The flicker is a perfect use of that freeze frame effect.


Now the narration has some trouble. It describes some things to paint the scene (the meal with Lui) but it doesnt "move". It feels like we go from scene to scene and anything inbetween scenes is implied. I think that just needs you finding a comfortable spot to work that good narration and tiying it all, because while im pointing out negatives, i quite liked it!

TLDR: try and "move" the scenes, you dont need specific details but you should iron some minor ideas (if its a western city but a japanese meal...where's anon from? it feels weird!) and keep grinding, this has a lot of potential

Also a good excuse to post gyaru bae

>>62371387
im both echoing the sentiment of why is a bucktheeth nerd acting so strongly and loving this weird direction with her. The mori bullying was strongi would sniff her to tell her its ok and i really liked both setting up the closet and the book scene.
Excited for the next chapter

>lots of hagsex in the archive
>thread is asleeb

Clearly we need to put the greatest minds in /wg/ to synthetize pure zoomer sex

>>58151658
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCzBN-kUPHo
Im a lover for high energy ops, and as a bonus, if i ever work on my advent wip where you are kind of an SCP squad, this one would work for a weird op filled with imagery
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiOfQLhmmcI

Bonus (ED's): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzd2mV_Vr3g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC8tjmCqD44

>>57795419
>Bae,Polka and Nene
Friendly Gyarus with not a single mean bone in their body. They are loud and eyecatching, but its just how they are

>Okayu,Choco,Chloe
Sexo Gyarus. They are hot, they are sexy and they know what they want. They are not malicious, but they can be really intimidating

>>54137546
THE GREAT ZOOMER REVOLUTION

im feeling it.
One of the new twins will vibe super hard with Bae

brrat here. Ogaman i love you but you killed my rat

>>50625042
Bratty bae correction

>Gets dressed up.
>Goes out to a coffee place.
>Works on projects there (actually spends part of it watching Mumei)
>Asks for head pats for a job well done.
Yep, that's my rat.

Would you a gyaru rat?

>>50356812
Has she done any temples?

>Main links
>Previous Stream:
https://youtu.be/ee1oKJpoBoY

>Free chat/current schedule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=197OEpjj8RI

>Stream doof doofs
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcPAszg2ItaGAkxKIUiTTtgekfmgMmmEQ

>Merch (Limited):
PC Case: https://hyte.com/store/hakos-baelz-y60-case-deskpad-bundle/
Official: https://shop.hololivepro.com/en/collections/all?open=talent&q= "Talent_ハコス・ベールズ"
Geek Jack: https://shop.geekjack.net/collections/hakos-baelz
CouncilRys swag: https://www.omocat-shop.com/collections/omocat-x-hololive-en

>Bae's Twitter:
https://twitter.com/hakosbaelz
https://twitter.com/hashtag/enterbaelz
https://twitter.com/hashtag/MADDOOFS
https://twitter.com/hashtag/YABAEL

>Where can I find arts?
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/hashtag/BaelzBrush
https://twitter.com/hashtag/ベーアート
Danbooru: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts?tags=hakos_baelz
Pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/tags/ハコス・ベールズ/artworks
Azure-gallery: https://azure-gallery.net/illusts?query=vtuber%3Aハコス・ベールズ

>Getting Started
Bae Guide: https://rentry.org/s9fnh
Streams Guide: https://rentry.org/pfzyc
Twitter Spaces: https://rentry.org/hs7p4
Season Box Arts: https://files.catbox.moe/lsrvff.png

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