/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Im too stressed to even sleep properly it seems. (1/2 for picrel)
>>44158668
Well, for some of my problems there isnt much i can do anymore, the chronic pain as one example. Im mean for depression and anxiety theres meds and therapy, but the main roadblock here is i wont be able to get working on getting therapy for that until after i moved, for several reasons, which isnt going anywhere right now and thats why i got to this point right now. I got some papers yesterday that should help a bit with that though.

As for me just avoiding talking to people and isolating myself i 100% agree. I hate myself for not being able to get my shit together and stop that. It just have absolutely no energy to even do the most basic stuff lately. I dont think i even have the energy it would take to kms right now as much as id like to. Comitting rope, to put it midly is how i planned to go out for several reasons. Ive had everything i need for since 2021 and got a will written down since feb 2022. Thing is i would have to get my cats to someone and to do that i have to travel by train for a few hours then go into a the next forest thats one safety measure i made to keep myself from being able to do hasty decisions. I know how my brain works, so i wont make this easy for myself.

Shit i really should keep to myself aside. Im pissed off at myself for being like this lately. I used to be stronger then this, but i just gave up trying altogether lately. I need someone to beat me up, maybe that would help. Idk at this point, i need to get my shit together somehow and stop being like this.