/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>74062341
I wouldnt care either but sex wouldnt change anything. Besides i feel no sexual energy anymore. I dont even remember the last time i masturbated for that matter. Maybe one or twice per month if at all this year and its just a chore to me so why bother anymore?

All im doing is overworking myself to get as much stuff scheduled as possible for my employer when it comes to the point im gone. Barely been sleeping more than 4 hours a day average the past two weeks so maybe lack of sleep will be the end of me. I feel nothing but stress anymore due to this apartment and im sick of it. If life wants me dead it will get what it desires in due time. The past 4 months have only been bullshit after bullshit. It can only get worse.

>>72496238
Not even anything to do with that at all, like unironically. The music still causes me daily stress and anxiety, but for the past 3 months stuff on my end keeps breaking and i have to waste savings that i need to increase my moving range and im getting real tired of it. Not a single day week went by the past 3 months where something didnt break or stressed me the hell out. Iim just so fucking tired of simply existing causing me even more problems. I wish i had a gun as it would make this much easier. Just would need to make sure the mess would be easy to clean up so people wont have to waste time cleaning my trash up.

>>72108698
Its different things in my case. I already exercise daily, started eating more healthy for the past 6 months and nothing. I still want to die. My apartment stresses me out daily and for a mo th straight people been blasting bass heavy music you hear on the whole street and in my apartment with closed windows. Had upstairs neighbours do this for 3 years 24/7 straight and i already am sensitive to sound. At this point just hearing subwoofer thumping causes my hands to shake and i get idk how to explain some tight feeling in my chest and chest pain from anxiety
. yes thats a thing had that when my neighbours did that 24/7 during that 3 years and checked everything and doctors didnt find anything wrong was really just anxiety symptoms and stress. This apartment already stresses me out daily due to constant noise and i have phonophobia so certain soind cause me anxiety already and i havent had a single day in the past 5 years and moving out is a problem due to my cats.

did recently with a friend IRL and trie to cope getting high and it helps but him liviing in the 6th floor and looking doen from his balcony gives me dum thoughts: https://litter.catbox.moe/5hhgbt.jpg not that id do anything there as i dont want to invocvince that friend by kms and letting police question him. I have other ways where i wouldnt bother anyone. But i talk too much forgot being high makes my social anxiety less of a problem
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>>70135128
I feel that, ive barely made through last week without giving up. Just depression catching up with me again though.

>>70135193
>>70135380
But yeah despite that i agree with this there are bad and good days despite how bad things may be sometimes.

>>70135404
>>70135494
I get the site is known as total shithole but i actually meet some of the nicest people ive known on the board and the IRC and otherwise despite how many bad things come from here.

But yeah on the bean topic. I guess people will never know the actual reason so i dont think theres much point speculating. The best her fans can probably do is enjoy the remaining streams until her graduation.

Its finally over... just let this one die and make a new one.

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>Archive Links:

- Complete Nyanners (Vtuber Debut 2020) VOD and karaoke clip archive (starting at 2020-07-17 and running until 2024-01-08): https://rentry.org/Nyanners_Vod_Archive

- Complete Hime Hajime (starting at 2021-01-31 and running until 2023-10-29) and Bubivt (starting at 2022-02-27 and running until 2022-04-23) vod archives: https://rentry.org/Hime_Hajime_and_Bubi_Vod_Archive_

- Random Indie VoDs and links to official vod channels: https://rentry.org/Indie_Vod_Archives_lig
---------------------------------
>Other things that might be of use:

- Twitch/YouTube Live Stream Vod Archival Guide: https://rentry.org/Vod_Archival_Guide

- Links for the 4chan (#/vt/ and #recanon) IRC channels: https://rentry.org/IRC_Stuff

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---------------------------------
>Archive Links:

- Complete Nyanners (Vtuber Debut 2020) VOD and karaoke clip archive (starting at 2020-07-17 and running until 2024-01-08): https://rentry.org/Nyanners_Vod_Archive

- Complete Hime Hajime (starting at 2021-01-31 and running until 2023-10-29) and Bubivt (starting at 2022-02-27 and running until 2022-04-23) vod archives: https://rentry.org/Hime_Hajime_and_Bubi_Vod_Archive_

- Random Indie VoDs and links to official vod channels: https://rentry.org/Indie_Vod_Archives_lig
---------------------------------
>Other things that might be of use:

- Twitch/YouTube Live Stream Vod Archival Guide: https://rentry.org/Vod_Archival_Guide

- Links for the 4chan (#/vt/ and #recanon) IRC channels: https://rentry.org/IRC_Stuff

.
---------------------------------
>Archive Links:

- Complete Nyanners (Vtuber Debut 2020) VOD and karaoke clip archive (starting at 2020-07-17 and running until 2024-01-08): https://rentry.org/Nyanners_Vod_Archive

- Complete Hime Hajime (starting at 2021-01-31 and running until 2023-10-29) and Bubivt (starting at 2022-02-27 and running until 2022-04-23) vod archives: https://rentry.org/Hime_Hajime_and_Bubi_Vod_Archive_

- Random Indie VoDs and links to official vod channels: https://rentry.org/Indie_Vod_Archives_lig
---------------------------------
>Other things that might be of use:

- Twitch/YouTube Live Stream Vod Archival Guide: https://rentry.org/Vod_Archival_Guide

- Links for the 4chan (#/vt/ and #recanon) IRC channels: https://rentry.org/IRC_Stuff

>>68466234
Reading through that thread just made me more depressed. I still had hope things would get better when i have the money to move in 2023, but i didnt think the pets would be a problem.

Also, i found grimmi in summer 2022 and putting her vods the background helped to cope back then and shes graduating in a month. I havent watched her in forever but it means no more good 4am background noise i can tune in to.

Im tired of the pointless coping, its the same shit day in and day out, wake up feed my cats, get my chores done, take a shower and wait until it sleeping time and repeat while archiving random vtuber vods i dont even give a shit about anymore and editing "yabs" out if needed. Thats not living.

>>68466302
I forgot for a sec what KYS means in this thread. Its been so long since i heard it in that regard and not the usual meaning of kys that people constantly use on the board.

Also, it seems like some vods are unrecoverable, but about 159 (out of 189?) of them are, just in case grimmi might need them.

>>68327719
Theres no need to apologize. I dont take any offense to what people tell me. I used to it so it wont affect me anymore. I wouldnt come to 4chan of all places if it did. If anything im used to the tone here and its kinda comfy in a weird way if that makes sense due to being familiar to what im used to.

>>68327871
Im fully aware, i need to move, find a therapist and work on those issues. Having a high chance of being autistic doesnt help. I mean its likely why i even started with this archive stuff as my "archive autism" is likely actual autism. I need to get tested.

>>68328117
Im fully aware i had no responsibility over this, which is why i dont even mind if people might be mad at me. It seems like i can recover 90% of the ones i had i case she needs them. If people care that much they could have alway archived vods themselves. The 60+ page guide exists for a reason.

My grimmi archive was a private archive since i found her in june 2022 and stopped archiving her for some months as i thought her old editor did a good job and picked it up again when they were missing vods.

I only published the unlisted playlist on here after the old channel died due to reasons. I should have reached out to her before i did so back then and ask for permission to do so but my social anxiety prevented me from reaching out. People here had to push me to do so after the removal request was sent. But yeah basically if the old Vod channel never died i never would have brought my grimmi archive up here. I simply put the link to the playlist in here to help anons out and privated it after the removal request came over the mail i provided for such cases. If she doesnt want them published i will respect her decision and wont share them simply as that.

>>68313316
But im tired. Just want to get hit by a truck.
>>68313738
If life keeps kicking you while you are down it happens.
>>68314218
Have fun trying, i feel to dead inside to lately to even feel arrousal.


Depression talk aside im still having my shit partially together despite everything going bad the past two months and my overthinking being bad. I didnt get drunk yet despite wanting to do so just to get 5 mins of happines.

Grimmis graduation announcement seemed to hit me harder than i thought despite not watching her for months due to depression.

Honestly hear streams helped me cope a lot when i was getting suicidal again in summer 2022. Idk how often i put her silent hill 2 vods on repeat as background noise as she has a relaxing voice (when she is currently making her noise gate suddenly peak) so it may be related to that. I mean i dont watch nyan a lot due to similar reasons, but i guess always having the option to tune in to a stream was nice and grimmi was always nice to put in the background due to her 3 hour long just chatting sections. Oh well ill be fine and sounds like shes happy with what shes gonna do after graduating, so thats good. Everything ends some day, i just didnt expect it this year.

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>>67654264
I dont really see any appeal in gacha games. I cant really care if the main appeal of the content is half naked anime women being sexualized, might just watchporn jnszead . Also gacha games feel too repetitive to me. I hate grinding the same game over and over. I already have enough of that with my daily life lately. Still waiting for a truck to magically hit me to be free of he stress and pointlessness of my existence. I mean if i could work a normal job id had have some sort of purpose. I just shut and sleep, maybe im lucky and njt wake up this time.

>>67149393
I dont even care where i move to as long as im getting stressed the fuck out on a daily basis. Dont thinj it will matter much longer anyway. Ended up sleeping for like 18 hours yesteeday and all i manages to do was to feed my cats yesterday. Dont think i even cooked proper food this week. Fucking done with this bullshit.

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