/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>70130118
>>70130398
WATCH OUT FOR THE GIGARRAT
>REGULAR DIGITS ONLY MAKE HIM ANGRIER
>ONLY TRIPS CAN SEDATE HIM
>QUADS OR HIGHER TO KILL HIM

>>69832726
>I'll say that they offer up Elira as a token firing
There is no way they would. I say Elira is the safest NjiEN right now, firing her would be confirming the UNIFIED RRAT and yeah .... that would be dumb, too dumb even for Nijisanji

>>69818868
I'm still recoiling in fear of the coming of the GIGARRAT!
>only trips can defeat him!

Date
>Early February
Location
>The building of the Supreme Court of the Public Opinion
Today's court case
>Nijisanji vs. Dokibird

Here is the case so far
>Nijisanji is on trial on the Court of Public Opinion because of the supposed mistreatment of one of their livers, Selen Tatsuski (nee Dokibird)
>Nijisanji is represented by Anycolor lawyers, with ex-parte intervention by the nyfco sisters

DAY ONE, ANYCOLOR LAWYERS STATEMENT
>ANYCOLOR LAWYER: Your honor, estimated members of the jury
>ANYCOLOR LAWYER: Our client would like to take advantage of this time to reassure the investors that that bitch was not even relevant and the effects of her departure will be negligible
(AUDIBLE GASP HEARD IN THE COURT)
>JUDGE: Mr. Lawyer, if I might ask, how is this statement going to help Nijisanji to win this court case?
>ANYCOLOR LAWYER: COURT CASE?!

DAY TWO, NYFCO SISTERS EX-PART INTERVENTION
>In a moving and brilliant piece of court maneuvering, the sisters present a BRILLIANT case
>Expert witnesses describing exquisite mental diseases in great detail
>A detailed account of what they considered a pattern of misbehaviour by the terminated liver
>A seven hours long reading of a document detailing how Anycolor had every legal basis covered, and that they (and I quote) "didn't do nothing wrong"
And for the grand finale
>Riku Tazumi, the CEO of Anycolor himself, called to testify on Nijisanji's behalf in a moving statement complete with a stony face, a defiant pose with his hands behind his back and a moving (but culturally incorrect) deep bow in apology for any perceived misunderstanding

DAY THREE, SELEN TATSUKI DEFENSE
>Unable to afford a good lawyer. Selen Tatsuki was appointed one by the court
>Looking like a hobo, and smelling like one too, this disheveled individual asked permission to address the court

Then the judge intervened
>JUDGE: Who are you?
>DISHEVELED INDIVIDUAL: I represent Selen Tatsuki, coming from the office of four chan, DAY ONE, ANYCOLOR LAWYERS irtual legal branch
>JUDGE: you may proceed, but I warn you: the jury is already pretty convinced of Njisanji innocence!
>"LAWYER": If I might address the jury for just one moment, I only have one single evidence to display to the jury
>....
>After struggling a little bit with his fanny pack, trying to discretely dispose of half a plate of half eaten spaghetti (misplaced there in the previous night), he takes out a rolled out paper and places it in the court's easel to reveals it to the court
>In it, a badly draw picture of a giant rrat made of other rrats, attached to this transcription for the benefit of the audience

>JUROR #1: WHAT IN THE NAME OF BEJEESUS IS THAT?!
>LAWYER: it's the GURRAT
>JUROR #2: w-what is a gurrat?
>LAWYER: it's the Grand Unified RRAT
>NYFCO SISTER: OBJECTION! HOW IS THAT EVEN RELEV-
>JUDGE: OVERRULED! I am now also curious about this mysterious creature
>JUROR #2: Why is it so big?
>LAWYER: It is made of other rrats, which aglutinated in a giant consolidated rrat, hence, the "Grand Unified RRAT"
(OHs and AHs are heard in the court)
>JUDGE: (banging his gavel) SILENCE!
>JUROR #3: Does it bite?
>LAWYER: No, but it can hurt you in other ways!
(Lawyer draws a cartoon speech bubble over the giant rrat with the words "sisters stink", the court and the jury and even the jury laughs)
>NYFCO SISTER (holding back tears): OBJECTION!
>JUDGE: Sustained! The lawyer will refrain from insulting the opposite counsel
>LAWYER: Technically, it was the giant rrat doing it!
(The court laughs again)

>JUDGE: Did you bring any other exculpatory evidence or other supporting material?
>LAWYER: Not really, just the giant rrat
>LAWYER (addressing the jurors): NOW, I might just be a humble country rratmonger but what I present to you here is clear
>IF YOU BELIEVE THIS RRAT IS LIT THEN NIJISANJI YOU MUST CONVICT!

DAY THREE, SEVENTEEN MINUTES AFTER SELEN TATSUKI DEFENSE FINISHES
>JUDGE: HAS THE JURY REACH A VERIDICT?
>JUROR #1: WE FOUND NIJISANJI GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES!
>JUDGE: AND WHAT MOTIVATED YOUR DECISION?
>JUROR #1: THAT RRAT ..... IT WAS VERY CONVINCING!

Directed by Larry David
Executive Producer: Jerry Bruckeheimer

>>69083460
THE GIGA RRAT IS COMING! SEEK SHELTER!