/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>54376049
Good. We'll start by stopping at Ulta because I need to get more shampoo and body wash. Since you're pampering me today, I don't think it'll be a problem for you to go in and buy them while I wait in the car, which should be at a comfortable 75 degrees Fahrenheit.
Next, let's swing by Starbucks because all this waiting at Ulta has made me thirsty. You will purchase me a tall Green Tea Lemonade with exactly 3 ice cubes – not one, not two, but three ice cubes.
After the Starbucks run, we will be stopping by Lululemon to buy me some new yoga pants to wear casually. I will not be trying them on for you, you will buy them for me and I will try them on when I feel like it. If they don't fit properly to my figure you will be buying new ones.
>B-But Ioriposter, what about the old ones? I have to take them back!
Hell no. You'd probably sniff them or something like a creep. Buy me all new ones instead.
For the final part of this day of pampering, you will take me to a nice spa for a full-body massage, mani-pedi, and facial (don't you dare make a joke about that word). You will, of course, opt for their most luxurious package for me, which will likely include a masseuse. This masseuse should be female, no weird random creepy man touching me. Unless he's hot, but I don't trust you enough to make that call.
For dinner, you will surprise me with a nice new dress that will be some shade of blue because I like blue. Whatever I order, you should order something of similar cost so people don't get the wrong idea that you're poor due to ordering something cheap.
As for drinks, water is fine, and I'd also like a nice bottle of red wine for the table. No cheap shitty wine or sugary soda. A good bottle of red wine will do. I'm not having them bring me a pre-filled glass, you will be pouring this glass of wine for me as a romantic gesture.
As for conversation, we will of course be talking about me and me only. If you interject with a story or experience of your own I will get angry and assume you're trying to one-up me. Your reactions should range from "wow that's fascinating" to "you're so smart and kind, Ioriposter." As a side note, you better not yawn or fake having to go pee or I will be angry. This is about me, not you. Your bodily functions can wait, I cannot.
Once dinner is over you will tell me how much you enjoyed pampering me and tell me how cute I am as if you are talking to an infant child because it will make me feel good about myself. Then you will drive me home. If I feel you did a good job pampering me, I will perhaps ask you for your number, if not, I will just exit the car and say nothing. You will not force your number on me, you will wait until I am at my door to leave, you will not scream "bye" or something like that because it's weird to yell that at night. You will simply drive off and await my phone call that may or may not come so stand by.

>>51673371
I'll need a hotel room, preferably one that is facing away from traffic and also has a balcony. I like to look at the stars at night. If you can afford a suite that's even better and I will respect you more. I'll also need exclusive access to your credit card for the event so I can buy all of the Iori merchandise and yes that includes the standee auctioned off at the end of OffKai. Ember went for 1700 and I would like to beat that for deer wife.
While we are at the con, you are not allowed to leave my side for more than 3 seconds or you forfeit being my pretend boyfriend. Just the same, you are not allowed to take breaks. This is a big con and there's alot of places to hit, we will not miss a single panel or event happening because your feet hurt. Get in shape, you literally have a year
>yeah but my friends are going and-
No
>but i want to see [vtuber] she's my oshi
Not without my express written approval. You will have to submit your oshi to me for consideration beforehand if you want approval to see her. If I do approve of her, there's a few simple rules to follow: no flirty chit-chat, lingering on a handshake, maintain eye contact at all times, and you have to introduce me as your girlfriend so that she knows you're taken. Failure to abide by any of those rules will result in this your immediate termination as my pretend con bf. Now I'm sure you're asking yourself
>Ioriposter, if I cant be away from you for more than 3 seconds how do I use the bathroom?
I will grant you 1 minute alone within the bathroom to pee and get out. If it's #2 fucking hold it until the con is over. Now if I have to go, you will be waiting outside the ladies room holding my things for me. No you aren't allowed to follow me into the restroom, creep.
As for the tickets while I can pay for them, I would prefer we split the cost. If that is a problem for you then find some other femanon who will haul your ass around a con for the weekend. Now regarding the blowjobs: not gonna happen. I will however allow you to jerk off within my vicinity. You will be doing so in the bathroom of our hotel room so I don't have to watch. If you're not weird about it, I may even moan, but only once.
I haven't even mentioned the cosplay yet or the rules about touching. That's a whole other set of rules you're going to have to abide by.

>>51519914
How would you know if we did?

>>50651871
I'm going to need to see your social credit score for our WoW guild and Minecraft server first. If you've contributed enough, I'll consider it.

[Deer News] Iori is very touchy and tried to hold Uruka's hand.

>>31009902
no one knows how many shotas have been milked in her soundproof basement