/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>65898561
>Perhaps it's just me but, this felt strangely melancholic. Like there's a thread of sadness running through it despite how fluffy everything is supposed to be looking from the outside.
That was kinda the idea. Towa and Anon are two isolated and alienated people who find joy in each other. I wanted to communicate this sensation that their bond could be just as easily be disintegrated as it was forged by the very same winds of fate. That each moment was a genuine effort to preserve it and that each moment of tenderness itself was a victory against the world.
Funny enough I had written Anon to be more angry and frustrated with life. If you ever listened to American Idiot by Green Day I'd compare him to St. Jimmy. But I quickly scrapped it when I realized Towa wouldn't associate with such a person. So I wrote him instead to be more numb, someone okay with drifting so long as he was alive. Until he met the devil at the crossroads so to speak.
> If there was anything I'd say wasn't working it would be that the contest limit of 25k made this entire piece feel like it's stretched thin
I had actually scrapped a bunch of scene concepts in the Fall. Including an arcade date, and a scene where Towa introduces Bibi. Although that wasn't the contest's fault but my own self-consciousness about overwriting. It happened to fall under the word count so I submitted it. I had considered scrapping the smoking subplot as well. While I never planned on a longer timeskip sequence, I think you have a point in that I could have been more retrospective or even made the reading assume a bad ending.
>The bandaid scene feels weirdly orphaned with where the need for it came from.
Finger injuries are common when playing guitar, bleeding/blisters are pretty common for beginners. The idea is that Anon played for hours and I wanted to scene of intimacy to show the growth of their relationship.

Thanks for reading and the review, I appreciate the feedback.