/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Oh boy, I have it pretty bad I don't even know how I got like this. My obsession with my oshi has grown to the point that I may have become a stalker. I've done things that I wouldn't be comfortable confessing anonymously on an image board about for fear of retribution. I sleep in 1 hour increments every-night so as to not miss a guerrilla stream or be able to promptly like a tweet. I archive every bit of content my oshi has ever produced, and I also archive things like chat logs for every stream. I also go to extreme lengths to make her feel loved and supported. I have over 20 remote servers I connect to in every stream to help bolster the numbers, several of which are logged into accounts that I've established detailed identities and personalities for. I've lost myself in the characters I play I don't even remember which of them is the real me anymore, and I can't tell which one my oshi likes the best. Most of my free income is spent on art, and original content for my oshi. This month I sent her over 5,000 dollars. I had to take out a loan just to pay my mortgage and bills last month. I fear I may be fired from my job soon as I can't even focus anymore. This only scratches the surface of the things I'd like to confess, but again, there are certain things I can't say for fear of reprisal. Maybe if she ever decides to graduate I'll post my story before killing myself as a final testament to my deep love for my oshi.