/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

I'd like to cum inside Suisei.

>>14273692
Okay, I finished reading Pay Your Dues. That was a pretty decent read, Anon, but I think that despite the fact you chose this subject to write on, your heart wasn't in it, and that ended up being reflected in the writing.
Offering constructive criticism is made difficult by the fact that this fic was written as if the events were being presented to the reader from afar, rather than being an invisible observer nearby, or stepping into the subject's mind for a bit to explore what she feels. Furthermore, I'm not into NTR so it could be that this is right up someone's alley.
I do believe the NTR aspect was the weakest link and brought the rest of the story down because of the aforementioned distant-viewer writing style; the description of Suisei's torments were rather brief and lacking in detail because of the fact we weren't experiencing it vicariously through Suisei, but rather from an insert observing the events take place.

However, there is a lot of good there too. This being straight-up rape, no punches being pulled, was very refreshing. I really liked the way you illustrated Suisei's rising terror by describing her struggling ever more fiercely, crying for help and beginning to stammer, and the ending where she's clearly retreated into the confines of her shattered psyche indicating PTSD was lovely. I also appreciate the fact that despite Anon being the reader's insert, you held back on describing his own feelings in excess during each paragraph; as a result, I personally felt the smut was quite palatable, and I managed to get off on it - although I self-inserted into Suisei rather than Anon.

I feel like this fic wasn't given a chance, and that the overall reception was quite close-minded, which was saddening to see, and I just wanted to say that I appreciated this fic.

>>11371531
Me too.