/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

Magni Dezmond: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Axel Syrios: Nothing like a good glass of Da-Hong Pao tea, ay Vesper?

Noir Vesper: You're right there Axel.

Regis Altare: Who'd a thought fifty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Da-Hong Pao tea.

Magni Dezmond: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have a supa to pay the price of a can o' monster energy.

Axel Syrios: A cup ' HOT monster energy.

Regis Altare: Without monster or energy.

Noir Vesper: OR a can!

Magni Dezmond: In a filthy, cracked plastic cup.

Regis Altare: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

Axel Syrios: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of copium.

Noir Vesper: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were 2view.

Magni Dezmond: Aye. BECAUSE we were 2view. My old Dad used to say to me, 'Supas don't buy you happiness.'

Regis Altare: 'E was right. I was happier then and I was 2view'. We used to stream in this tiiiny old channel, with greaaaaat big holes in the revenue.

Axel Syrios: Your own channel? You were lucky to have a channel! We used to stream in one channel, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no OBS. Half the bandwidth was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of disconnecting!

Noir Vesper: You were lucky to have a shared channel! *We* used to have to go live on Twitch!

Magni Dezmond: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of streamin' on Twitch! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to stream on an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of ads all over us! Twitch!? hmph.

Regis Altare: Well when I say 'Twitch' it was only a pirated clone of Twitch covered by a piece of CSS, but it Twitch to US.

Axel Syrios: We were evicted from *our* pirated clone of Twitch; we had to go live on Facebook!

Noir Vesper: You were lucky to stream on Facebook! There were a hundred and sixty of us streaming from a small AWS server in the middle of the north pole.

Magni Dezmond: Cardboard server?

Noir Vesper: Aye.

Magni Dezmond: You were lucky. We streamed for three months from a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, stream down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, Yagoo would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

Axel Syrios: Luxury. We used to have to get out of Facebook at three o'clock in the morning, clean the Facebook, eat a handful of hot gravel, stream at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Yagoo would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

Noir Vesper: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the server clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, streamed twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, Yagoo would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Regis Altare: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), drink a cup of sulphuric acid, stream twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to stream, and when we got home, Yagoo and our fans would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing 'Shiny Smily Story.'

Magni Dezmond: But you try and tell the young chuubas today that... and they won't believe ya'.

ALL: Nope, nope..