/vt/ - Virtual Youtubers

>>76451835
First of all, congratulations! finishing a fic that's been haunting you its always a treat.

I quite liked the setting, the idea and the characterization with HSKW while the smut was really good, specially the aftermath that had a nice comedy/romance/lust trifecta constantly spinning. Overall, its a good fic and i quite liked some of its parts.


HOWEVER! im quite ticked off at some of the aspects and i feel like i have to yap about them or ill go crazy.

>The moral code
i feel like this is the worst aspect of the fic. It rears it head once or twice, promising to cause friction... and then Anon folds like a house of cards in just one night and after one interaction. If there were more dialogues and tidbits of Anon slowly getting reeled in, or this being a thing that happens over the course of multiple parties where she just leaves him hanging then it would hit where he goes "damn i gotta bust a nut in her"
Also this is a CINEMASINS NO FUN ALLOWED thing but its weird that he drinks so much and prides in being a moral bastion.

>HSKW and the friend group/Matsuri

For the "acquaintances you cant fully stand" she sure is friendly and full of banter with you. It feels like you two are friends and lessens the impact of the idea that there is this weird mating dance going around in between two people that dont fully see eye to eye.
The friend group is fine, i would have suggested giving them a more active role or bringing them up less because they feel important but everyone that isnt takeshi or Matsuri just doesnt do anything.
Which leads to Matsuri. She's just a bump in the road, not putting any effort in stopping you and then just antagonizing you with the explanation being a throwaway line. The ending just comes out of nowhere too, and it feels awfully mean to this side character. I get its the dangers of menheras...but it doesnt feel earned or even in character for someone throwing a fit because her feelings went unanswered.

Again, i liked it, but those elements just tick me off in the wrong way. Apologies for behaving like a woman

>>76264236
>asian girl
>that likes asian stuff
>playing asian games
>makes an asian character
Now this is so shocking i cant even come up with something witty to say

>>75638911
Fair enough. It was a literal spur of the moment thing and i really dont have time to double check it and edit it. will try and come back to it later once i free my timeslot.

If it was made in good faith, it if was made as a dig.. that's okay too. Feedback is feedback

is the guy who used to post timestamps under bae's videos gone?

The crazy thing about Bar leaving 'Straya is that her streaming times won't fundamentally change, Japan is only at most two hours offset from Eastern Australia lol

>>72441372
https://rentry.org/nd4qvww2
Brat correction
TAGS: Takanashi Kiara, SS, Shotacon, Oneeshota


Ok so i think its time to admit defeat and post that edited version by the kind anon.
You see, the cool part about google docs is that it stores a copy of your work in case something really goofy and silly like THE FUCKING BACKUP YOU HAD GETS CORRUPTED FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON and it also autoupdates so you dont lose your progress by accidentally hitting the reset button.
Long story short: im throwing the towel and just publishing it even if i wanted a fucked up budding romance inbetween the two because this fic paralyzes my other wips.

Some spark notes of what i wanted to imply, kinda spoilers for the ending

>Mori showed Kiara the world of shotacon. Only Kiara acted on it so far.
>I rewrote some parts of it so Kiara had information she wasnt supposed to have, thus making the twist hit a bit harder
>Kiara jerks you off with her panties

>Enters
>"whats this?"
>"I dont know about that"
>*Rolls the highest posible number
Believe in the ultimate luckshitter

>>71691997
sorry im just answering.
Its on indefinite hold. I got a bit of it working, but if im being honest its very low on my priority list

ENTER
AUNT

We live in a world where the Bae most people want to fuck is the beeg smol one