/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.9992598]

I will now play your game

[Anonymous No.9992602]

>>9992598
Suffers from Nintendo bloat and Metroid 3 is far too easy. Play earthworm jim for a true kino experience.

[Anonymous No.9992613]

>vanishes

>comes back as a background layer

HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW SPRITES ?

[Anonymous No.9992617]

>>9992613
Kek
I screwed myself by playing Super only like 70% of the way and loving it but never finishing it for some reason, which kills my motivation to beat it as I'd be replaying a ton of it, but its almost been long enough to actually enjoy it again.

[Anonymous No.9992651]

>>9992617
Just boot it up and give it another go.
You can probably beat it in 4-8 hours depending on how you fumble around.

[Anonymous No.9992768]

*brrrrrrraaaaap*

[Anonymous No.9993036]

>>9992598
>Nintendo bloat
Just when I've heard all the retarded nintendo hate, new shit always pops up.

[Anonymous No.9993046]

>>9992768
Would get tired from walking every 20 seconds and the game would never end. God i hate fat people.

[Anonymous No.9993062]

>>9993046
Why are troons so scared of natural women? You do know that women should have wide hips to bear children and some nice tittays for breast milk, right troonie?

[Anonymous No.9993071]

>>9993062
These are natural women with curves. I don't see any of that ridiculous fat people rear end you pigs keep pushing as normal.

[Anonymous No.9993080]

>>9993071
>He's a gook troon
Oh wow. Lmao

[Anonymous No.9993095]

>>9993071
>These are natural women with curves
>C U R V E S
>posts models more linear than super mario bros 1-1
absolute KEK

modern society has destroyed this generation's mind

>>9992617
you can do it fren, you don't have to 100% it, just finish it and then go for Fusion and Zero mission

[Anonymous No.9993107]

>>9993071
>with curves.
Those bug eating chinks wear padded panties and pushup bras. They have no curves

[Anonymous No.9993116]

>>9993095
Stop eating so much and go for a jog if you still have functional knees. I'm sad that something as fat as you are even exists in my world.

[Anonymous No.9993121]

>>9993116
>i like my girls to look like 12 year old boys, anything else is fat

[Anonymous No.9993246]

>>9993071
>Natural
>Ksluts

[Anonymous No.9993342]

>>9993095
>more linear than super mario bros 1-1
holy shit i'm writing that one down

[Anonymous No.9993509]

>>9992602
>Play earthworm jim
Ew racist fuck nope bye

[Anonymous No.9993652]

>>9992598

[Anonymous No.9993730]

>>9993071
You have something wrong with your brain. Those anorexic gooks you posted fell like they would die from a normal pregnancy.

[Anonymous No.9994153]

>>9993071
>gooks
>natural
>curves
ok this was good bait, have another (you)

[Anonymous No.9994218]

>>9993071
>Natural
>Posts plastic
Normalfags are calcified.

[Anonymous No.9994246]

Well, this was a retro video game thread for 4 posts. Probably better than the average. This really is just /v/ now.

[Anonymous No.9994674]

>sup Craig?
>haha gg no re

[Anonymous No.9995237]

>>9994674
>>9992598
I don't understand how these monsters are supposed to be space pirates. The brain makes but these are just big beasts, they can barely fit in a spaceship much less control it.

[Anonymous No.9995425]

>>9995237
The Saks Amoto and Urai have long insisted that Ridley is actually a genius, though games refuse to illustrate this point to this day.

[Anonymous No.9995742]

>>9995237
Am I seriously seeing "Ridley is too big" in 2023? There's a canon manga that shows you how it all works. Kraid was always just a glorified guard dog.

[Anonymous No.9995903]

>>9995425
>Insists the angry screaming space dragon is a genius
>Refuses to elaborate
>Leaves

[Anonymous No.9995912]

>>9995237
Thats what happens when you need to write more background story with a 1986 nes game as base _and_ keep these same bosses around as well

[Anonymous No.9995936]

>>9994674
i'm old craig. would ya like some baileys?

[Anonymous No.9996013]

>>9995742
>There's a canon manga
Maybe it should be in the fucking game

[Anonymous No.9996014]

>>9996013
careful what you wish for - it's pretty bad

[Anonymous No.9996781]

>>9996013
It's corroborated by certain Zero Mission endings.
>>9996014
There's literally nothing wrong with it.

[Anonymous No.9996839]

>>9992617
What level of retarded mental gymnastics is this. Just play the fucking game if you want to

[Anonymous No.9996942]

>>9995237
Rodney just flies through space. No need for a ship.

[Anonymous No.9996947]

>>9992617
>Played through only 70% of the way but never finishing it for some reason
I've done that with a ton of games that I consider my favorites.

[Anonymous No.9996957]

>>9995237
>>9995425
I don't think Ridley is supposed to be a genius, but regular criminal boss smart. He's shown captaining the space pirate mothership in Zero Mission. As for the other ones like Kraid, Draygon and Phantoon, I think they are just monsters the space pirates keep around as guard dogs. Mother Brain is a Chozo super computer the Pirates teamed up with because it's so smart.

[Anonymous No.9997024]

>>9995936
Do I look like a reasonable man or a peppermint nightmare?

[Anonymous No.9997092]

>>9992617
I don't get that mindset. A good game is something you can play over and over again. Yes, I get that speedrunners are cancer and whatnot, but playing a game you like multiple times in a row but more efficiently is ideal. I don't get this need to just always move onto new games.

[Anonymous No.9997427]

>>9997092
I say this all the time, zoomers (yes, I'm going to keep using that term, it's a mindset as well as an age group) are incapable for whatever reason of forming a connection to games or experiencing them on an emotional level beyond "completed it/too difficult to complete". They operate purely on checklists. They HAVE to enumerate every game on the list, they have to display value through mastery of trivia and irrelevant factoids. Whatever bogeyman label you want to pick, postmodernism, critical theory in the education system, deeply infused sarcasm and irony at every stage of development, something has destroyed their brains to the point they were raised outside of the ability to perceive meaning and artistry, so clinging to their lists (I beat this game, this game, and this game, all 100% clear) (I know the release dates of every single title from this dead trash system no one ever has any interest in playing therefore I am an expert on retro gaming culture) is all they to establish identity in a subculture. But when they see people simply enjoying games, or talking about that dreaded "soul", their inability to empathize with subjective experience or resonate with the shared gestalt of what the game actually means to people asserts itself resentfully.

[Anonymous No.9997495]

>>9995237
They're alien nigga. "Intelligence" doesn't need to be boring humanization. This is the problem with most Sci-Fi

>let's make an alien species...
>I know, we'll just make them basically human but slightly different

[Anonymous No.9998470]

>>9997495
There is also no reason to assume intelligent life similar to us wouldn't exist, if we exist as we are, there must be some design that makes it beneficial, so it's likely that other intelligent beings evolved down a similar path

[Anonymous No.9998936]

>>9992768

how she can use the toilet with that suit?

[Anonymous No.9999006]

I dropped my 8th attempt at beating sm because of how ugly this sprite set was. Doesnt even look like samus, its stupid

[Anonymous No.9999015]

>>9993046
i hate fat people too but hating a fat dumper just makes you a faggot bro

[Anonymous No.9999016]

>>9999006
What don't you like about it? Too bulky?

[Anonymous No.9999039]

>>9998470
Yes, there is a reason to assume intelligent life is relegated only to Earth, but you probably don't accept it. The Lord Jesus Christ was sent here for salvation and Gos made humankind in His own image. There's not life anywhere but Earth

[Anonymous No.9999041]

>>9999015
>I hate fat people too but hating fat people just makes you a faggot bro
???????

[Anonymous No.9999552]

>>9999015
he's saying she's fat (she is) but what he doesn't realize is that gif is stretched out.
OG justin bailey is svelte and athletic

[Anonymous No.9999578]

>>9999041

[Anonymous No.9999589]

>>9999552
It's not stretched out, it's edited to make Samus "le thiccccc" or whatever the fuck by turning her thighs and ass obese.

[Anonymous No.9999613]

>>9999589
I hate nigger zoomers so much

[Anonymous No.10001301]

>>9998936
When she goes into a ball the piss and shit just sprays out everywhere.