/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.8820169]

Post shitty fucking games

[Anonymous No.8820173]

>>8820169
KYS

[Anonymous No.8820174]

How could it be a bad game if it says SEGA on it three times?

[Anonymous No.8820185]

[Anonymous No.8820201]

>>8820169
>keyblade before KH
Holy shit

[Anonymous No.8820224]

>>8820169
Fuck you nigger OP, Clockwork Knight is based. Eat shit and die.

[Anonymous No.8820246]

>>8820201
>Keyblade
>It's a blunt bludgeoning weapon

[Anonymous No.8820303]

>>8820246
Anon, notice the sharp, pointed end on the cover art of the "keyblade". Sir Pepperouchau uses the pointy end to stab enemy toys to death with it. It is in no way a blunt instrument in usage. So not only did this predate KH, it also predates Toy Story too.

[Anonymous No.8820307]

>>8820303
Piercing, not bludgeoning then. Still not a blade.

[Anonymous No.8820346]

Aww, c'mon, Anon. I loved it when I was a kid. Haven't played it or its sequel since 1997 or so, but that shit was fly af to me back then.

>>8820307
You're a blade. The Zorro type of blade. A Gay Blade. THE Gay Blade. You're gay, is what I'm saying.

[Anonymous No.8820347]

>>8820169
>saturn
Of course it's shit.

[Anonymous No.8820348]

>>8820307
>what are colloquialisms

[Anonymous No.8820390]

>>8820169

[Anonymous No.8820394]

>>8820346
Keyblades are the ones ignoring their god-mandated role and penetrating where they're not supposed to, so if there's such thing as a gay blade, it's that one.

[Anonymous No.8820926]

>>8820185
This one isn't really shitty so much as just kind of a drag to play.

[Anonymous No.8821040]

>>8820394
>gay blade penetrating where they're not supposed to
giggle giggle squeak

[Anonymous No.8821091]

>>8820169
cmon man,
can't we have constructive threads like the old days?
some deepcuts? some dare i say it, hidden gems

[Anonymous No.8821135]

>>8820169

[Anonymous No.8821165]

>>8820169
this isn't that bad, I played it on a store display at a local blockbuster and I liked it. they also had panzer dragoon and bug and this was by far my favorite of the three.
I also liked it better than starfox 64 which was on the N64 display right next to it, but not as much as crash bandicoot on the playstation display.

[Anonymous No.8821184]

>>8820169
There's already like 5 other sonic threads

[Anonymous No.8821189]

>>8820169
sega general?

[Anonymous No.8821214]

>>8820169

The opinions of phoneposters are irrelevant.

[Anonymous No.8821468]

Hey You Pikachu

[Anonymous No.8821484]

>>8821165
I went to Epcot in 1994 and played both of those games all day while my family went on rides and ate in World Showcase. I didn't give a shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxhhMnm1zoU

[Anonymous No.8821495]

>>8821468
You know what? I don't want to agree with you but I can't disagree.
>Terrible voice recognition, works best with high frequency children voices
>Punishes you for not following the in-game prompts by delaying your progress meanwhile convincing Pikachu to move where you want
I'm done thinking about it now. It'd be fun if you got it at launch with the console bundle and had nothing else to play, otherwise it's an excercise in tedium.

It is fun to cuss at Pikachu, though.

[Anonymous No.8821593]

>>8821091
I was thinking the same but complaining doesn't help. Know what will? Starting one. Start a constructive thread.
Alternately, learn to guide conversation to something positive.

As for "hidden gems," no one ever talks about how the NES version of Hatris is not only surprisingly the most fun one to play but also has the best music. TG16 Hatris music ain't great for some reason and even the arcade one pales to the NES. The beeps and boops the NES outputs really work nicely and it truly has one of the best OSTs of any game of the 8-bit era, if not the very best one altogether, IMO.

>>8821165
Oh, I loved Panzer Dragoon on my first play-through back in the day. Not so much after that, but that first play through was basically magic to me. In my mind, I put it in the same universe as the Another World series. Never did play the sequel nor Saga, but the original kinda holds a special place in my heart.

>>8821468
Tr00f. Friend had it and its limited edition N64. He was immediately bored by it. Even Pokemon Stadium, as shitty as it was, was better.

[Anonymous No.8821767]

>>8820390
I love that game! :c

[Anonymous No.8821876]

>>8820169
You start

[Anonymous No.8821883]

>>8821593
>Even Pokemon Stadium, as shitty as it was, was better.
wtf? Stadium 1 and 2 are revered by fans and they're a great addition to the game boy games. And even if you didn't care about the actual Stadium part, the mini-games were good enough that me and my friends just rented it to play it 4 players.

[Anonymous No.8821886]

>>8820169

[Anonymous No.8821892]

>>8820169
Is that really a bad game? I always wanted to play but never got around to it.

[Anonymous No.8821893]

>>8820169
It was all downhill from here.

[Anonymous No.8821894]

>>8820185
When one works on shit like this.. Are there illusions of moving onto bigger and better things? Or are they just husks?

[Anonymous No.8821898]

[Anonymous No.8821908]

>>8821593
>In my mind, I put it in the same universe as the Another World series.
that's ingenious

[Anonymous No.8821915]

>>8821893
Spacewar! shits all over this one.

[Anonymous No.8821942]

>>8820174
And a gold Seal of Quality

[Anonymous No.8822108]

>>8820201
>>keyblade before KH
>Holy shit

Clockwork Knight : December 1994 (JP)
Toy Story (the movie): November 1995 (US)

Disney beaten by Sega again (aside from all the times they collaborated together) . Also, Sega had the plot to Wall-E in 1995 with Vectorman.

[Anonymous No.8822149]

>>8821883
Yeah? I guess literally all of my friends and I were the odd ones out as we all thought it was terrible. Glad someone liked it, even if we didn't.

>>8821908
Why thank you.

>>8822108
I can't really see a CK/TS connection other than the whole "toys come to life when no one's around!" trop, but definitely see it with Wall-E and Vectorman. I even noted it when Wall-E came out.

[Anonymous No.8822741]

>>8822149
>I can't really see a CK/TS connection other than the whole "toys come to life when no one's around!"

Well, I mean, Toy Story was such a huge deal in 1995 because it was the first full motion CGI movie. The Computer 3D was a highlight in itself. Clockwork Knight having full CG cutscenes in late 1994, with toys that come to life, is a pretty similar premise. But not the same. Though Toy Story was still in development in 1994, and it was already known to be in development. Also, Pixars Tin Toy was a really well known CG short that was made back in 1988.

[Anonymous No.8822768]

>op posts a game with good gameplay and then goes to masturbate to fucking mario 64
The public decision to go with style over substance shit Nintendo/Sony in the mid-90s over Sega was the death of videogaming.

[Anonymous No.8822884]

>>8822741
But it wasn't the first full motion CGI movie, was it? What about that other Pixar one? Didn't it come out before Toy Story? You know the movie I mean. With the trannybug and the gay German caterpillar and the mean grasshoppers? That one. Didn't it precede Toy Story?

[Anonymous No.8822901]

Completely outdone by Zelda 2 and the bloodstained series. The NES castlevanias have sluggish movement, shitty control design(up is used for both stairs and items, leading to some awkward shit), unless you’re a pro, the holy water is basically required to beat like half the bosses, but if you die you lose it so if you got a checkpoint you have to kill yourself 3 times to continue so you can grab it again, which is extremely tedious. The game is ridiculously short, and the plot is just a bunch of played out horror movie tropes. This game is beloved for some reason, yet people hate Zelda 2. Zelda 2 is just castlevania but good. Also, bloodstained shits on this game. There is literally no reason to go back and play the NES castlevanias, prove me wrong

[Anonymous No.8822908]

Mash A, the game

[Anonymous No.8822913]

>>8822908
People only liked this game because of the voice acting. It straight up sucks

[Anonymous No.8822920]

>>8821091
I see plenty of those threads. It’s important to shit on stuff and recognize what went wrong. Nowadays people spend too much time praising games and giving out participation awards. Paid game journalists can find plenty of good things to say about games, as can nostalgia fags. Shitting on games is important. If you just pretend like bad game design is okay, the they’re just going to keep doing it and selling it to you for 60 dollars a pop

[Anonymous No.8823008]

>>8822884
>But it wasn't the first full motion CGI movie, was it? What about that other Pixar one? Didn't it come out before Toy Story? You know the movie I mean. With the trannybug and the gay German caterpillar and the mean grasshoppers? That one. Didn't it precede Toy Story?

I meant to say feature length, not full motion. Pixar made a few shorts before Toy Story.

[Anonymous No.8823023]

>>8820169
weird that it was split into two games

[Anonymous No.8823037]

Clockwork knight wasn’t an awful game but I thought it was unremarkable. Beyond some superficial graphics there was nothing here that couldnt have been done on the genesis. It seems to me that Sega made a conscious effort to go back to slower, less momentum based platformers after the success of Sonic. This game, Ristar, Astal and Bug all have jumping more similar to Kid Chameleon or Alex Kid than they do Sonic.

Really with a jump and a “punch” button, Clockwork knight has a lot in common with Alex Kid. I’d say it not quite as good and came out 8 years later. Its a fun enough game with good graphics, a decent setting, music and bosses. But I can’t think of anyway meaningful that it pushed boundaries and for a launch title average isnt what you’re looking for. Sure the opening movie was neat at the time. No save function is an obvious blunder, to be honest no save function on all if those genesis platforming games was a blunder and as time progressed it only got more ridiculous because it got more obvious that they could do it if they wanted to.

[Anonymous No.8823053]

>>8821894
As someone whose parents worked in animation on a bunch of shitty cartoons in the 80s and 90s, and some good ones, it's just a job. You show up, you do your work, and you go home.

It's probably easier to work on a shitty licensed game because there's no illusions it's going to be the next best thing.

[Anonymous No.8823189]

>>8822913
It's probably one of my more favorite N64 games but that's not really saying too much

[Anonymous No.8823201]

>>8820169
>post shitty fucking games
But you posted a pic of clockwork knight? Wheres the shitty game?

[Anonymous No.8825392]

>>8822901
I played bloodstained and beat it without any continues on my very first try. It's easy peasy shit for zoomie babies. CV1 isn't bad. You're bad. Git gud

[Anonymous No.8825410]

>>8820169
>That's the power of the key blade.

[Anonymous No.8825423]

>>8823053
And my parents worked at nintendo.

[Anonymous No.8825430]

>>8822884
A Bug's Life came out in '98, Toy Story was '95.

[Anonymous No.8825436]

>>8825423
he may be larping but at least he's right

[Anonymous No.8825514]

[Anonymous No.8825806]

>>8825514
Wonder where the model for that box cover is now. Think he regrets having done it?

[Anonymous No.8826065]

>>8825806
Looks like he's at least in his mid-40's, so he's probably dead by now.

[Anonymous No.8826289]

>>8825514
i beat this game

[Anonymous No.8826328]

>>8825806
>Wonder where the model for that box cover is now. Think he regrets having done it?

I legit remember seeing boxes for this game at a department store when I was a kid. It always stood out to me, but I never actually played the game. I love the box art though. Especially the Psycho Wave. Clearly it was some sort of paint over of a real person. The guy who got paid to be the face model probably thought nobody would recognise him?

[Anonymous No.8826365]

>>8821886
This is “good shitty” anon.
I played the absolute fuck out of the Dreamcast version instead of having friends as a kid.

[Anonymous No.8826472]

>>8821898
Unitonically the best 8-16 bit cv

[Anonymous No.8827245]

[Anonymous No.8827282]

[Anonymous No.8827286]

>>8821135
But I really liked that game anon, why do you have to do this?

[Anonymous No.8827348]

[Anonymous No.8827783]

This one's pretty high up on the shittiness scale.

[Anonymous No.8827789]

Why is it okay to shit on Sega but if you say anything bad about Nintendo you get censored?

[Anonymous No.8828376]

>>8823037
>No save function is an obvious blunder

You can beat the game in half an hour and there's only 8 stages. Plus you're showered in 1ups and continues. A save feature is the last thing it needed.