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/vr/ - Retro Games

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File: 41 KB, 500x498, 17335_front.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8386796 No.8386796 [Reply] [Original]

what's the whackiest shovelware you ever came across?

>> No.8386808
File: 773 KB, 567x878, ED569705-90EC-41DD-AF9A-A548284998CD.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Literally a pedo van racer.

>> No.8386918

The PC version of Sum of All Fears is good tactical FPS. It was built on the original Ghost Recon engine, but it has close quarters Rainbow Six style level design rather than the expansive maps in Ghost Recon. Far from the best game in the original batch of Tom Clancy tactical shooters but definitely underrated.

>> No.8387461

Was Phoenix Games a money laundering front that made their games intentionally unappealing? This concept feels like a Simpsons gag about developers running out of ideas lol

>> No.8387710

The GBA version is even more underrated as it's unironically an excellent port of the R6 games to top down 2D

>> No.8387761

>an excellent port of the R6 games to top down 2D
WTF, this sounds great. Gonna play it when I get the time. What should I expect?

>> No.8387786
File: 4 KB, 256x224, unnamed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

bootleg Mario on Genesis. as cheesy as it looks, it's not that bad, but doesn't play much like a Mario game. it's a hack / updated version on Squirrel King, which in turn is loosely based on NES Chip 'n Dale. so you go around throwing crates and stuff. would be way better if not for very lame level design, really feels like shit-tier effort on the level of bad flash games.

>> No.8387792
File: 35 KB, 512x448, mw21.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

half the game is taken from Squirrel King and doesn't have anything to do with Mario. perhaps the most fucked up part is the bosses though, just look at this

>> No.8387835
File: 128 KB, 988x738, white van racer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>go check it up
>"mind that child"
>anon isn't joking
>it's LITERALLY a pedo van racer
Mother of God. How this game came into existence? It was made by some anon developer?

>> No.8387939
File: 62 KB, 500x500, antz-world-sportz-game-boy-color-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Because that's what every kid demanded in 2001, an GBC sports game based on a 1999 movie.

>> No.8387997

Now you too can play as Woody Allen.

>> No.8389154

Every bugman is already Woody Allen. How appropriate.

>> No.8389518
File: 348 KB, 1194x1600, sm3box.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It feels like half of the UK's video game industry was weird money laundering fronts

>> No.8389523
File: 114 KB, 220x309, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8389526

Porky's for the Atari Lynx.

>> No.8389535

>those shoop’d medals

Lol man, looks like something an eccentric high school kid would throw together as a joke.

>> No.8389546
File: 60 KB, 283x352, Atari_Lynx_Bill_&_Ted's_Excellent_Adventure_cover_art.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I wonder if anyone has ever actually played this with 2 players, or if anyone has played any multiplayer lynx games

>> No.8389553

Lol wtf is the game play like?

>> No.8389559
File: 234 KB, 800x599, download (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Don't know if you're joking or not, but that's a common thing with ice cream vans in the UK. I guess the logic being that if an ice cream van is parked, there might be kids running across the road, so you remind drivers not to run them over.

>> No.8389561

damn i didn't even know that shit had a game

>> No.8389569

It didn't, that's photoshopped.

>> No.8389571

Based beyond all comprehension

>> No.8389584

it says "mind that child" because its an ice cream van you sick freak

>> No.8389587

Just really basic, and poorly designed mini games. It's the definition of shovelware. Little Britain was temporarily a ridiculously popular TV show, for some reason.

>> No.8389593

You can't be serious.

>> No.8389601
File: 119 KB, 640x636, little nicky.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8389617
File: 746 KB, 1632x918, iu[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>caution children
ice cream vans have a warning wrote on the back of them so people don't speed past them and accidentally hit a child who's crossing the road

>> No.8389623
File: 210 KB, 1024x768, iu[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.8389630

I remember the show, I just couldn't imagine how you'd make a game out of it but that makes sense.

>> No.8389671

This looks really fun. It looks like River City Ransom. Is it?

>> No.8389724

>A game about vans
>jump to the conclusion that it's something to do with pedos
This is your brain on 4chan

>> No.8389934

I think the dude who said that first was joking around because white vans are stereotypical bank robbery/kidnapping vans. The other dude, on the other hand, probably did think that lol.

>> No.8389950

pretty sure phoenix was a dutch company but i doubt they developed all of the games they released, really wonder who made shit like white van racer
isn't this one of the few ps2 games that has a native 1080i option?

>> No.8390074

>Little Britain was temporarily a ridiculously popular TV show, for some reason.

Yeah, I remember that show being everywhere back when I was around 13. I actually liked it myself back then, though I've never gone back to the show since I stopped being a kid.

>> No.8390081

Did Antz have anything to do with sports? I haven't seen that movie in ages, but I don't think it did.

>> No.8391269

Anon, the game is full of little pedo jokes.

>> No.8391387

Only thing I know about it is an awkward rollerblading segment with the fat chick.

>> No.8391416
File: 121 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Despite being a gaming autist I'm fairly into /out/ stuff, throughout my life I've been gifted a decent amount of those Rapala/Cabelas hunting or fishing Sim games. They are almost always universally bad in every aspect and only sold to trick boomers based upon the fact that they have big outdoor company names attached to em.
They don't necessarily appear "whacky" from the outside but if you ever actually delve into them they get almost surreal the deeper you get. They're terrible as simulators, the bad graphics and chunky game play makes for some weird scenarios. I can't remember which one is was specifically, I think it was for the PS2 but I remember having to fight off a group of attacking bears with an inline muzzleloader. Also a fishing Sim where the boat couldn't reverse so if you stuck it in the corner of the map or something you'd have to restart the level.

>> No.8391421

I have. Qe didn't solve the game, but it was fun speed running to Europe together (furthest we could get). This was the only game we both had, which is a shame cause something like Basketbrawl would've been fun.

>> No.8392604
File: 119 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault(9).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Good top down shooty shooty with squad but if you try to run and gun you die pretty quickly so take cover and aim

>> No.8392617

like what?

>> No.8393829

>I remember having to fight off a group of attacking bears with an inline muzzleloader
sounds based, I want to play that game now

>> No.8393839
File: 232 KB, 589x873, 47932--highlander-the-last-of-the-macleods.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>a game based on an obscure animated adaptation released for an add-on of a not well known console

>> No.8393845

Little Britain actually had it's moments, but it got old incredibly quickly with the degree to which they doubled down on catch phrases.

>> No.8393868
File: 190 KB, 800x1136, xbox_antz_extreme_racing_p_jd2qs6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

For me, it was Antz racing

>> No.8394073

Most interesting thing about this game is its heavy sample usage. Probably one of the only GBC games to use samples for music.


>> No.8394094

>for Xbox

>> No.8394208
File: 234 KB, 1050x768, Monster Truck Madness 64.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

The weirdest part about this game is that my school bus driver gave it to me randomly one day.

>> No.8394254

Which one? We got Antz Racing, Antz EXTREME Racing and Antz Extreme Racing on GBA.

Because, you know, kids need to race with ants.

>> No.8395058
File: 80 KB, 1024x575, 1613194344089.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

yeah but think of the implication

>> No.8395529

Bus driver's son: "Dad, this game sucks, give it to the first kid you see today to ruin his childhood."

>> No.8395541

>Squirrel King
Oh fuck you, you gave me the vietnam flashbacks already.
For some reason when you tried to beat the game with 2 players and you triggered a continue screen the game would go mute for no reason at all.
Odd as fuck glitch. I actually beat Squirrel king as a kid with my brother.

>> No.8395551

I heard the PC version is pretty good but PS2 and Gamecube ones are awful

>> No.8395576
File: 102 KB, 228x271, 1632937988411.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

My uncle was a middle-highschool teacher and randomly gave 6-yo me N64 Goldeneye because he confiscated it from a kid he hated.

>> No.8395585

So... do you like big women now?

>> No.8395750

Shit meme

>> No.8395758

Shut up Pierce

>> No.8395784
File: 26 KB, 220x220, 220px-Austin_Powers_Oh_Behave.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8396768

>I heard the PC version is pretty good but PS2 and Gamecube ones are awful
Probably true. The classic Tom Clancy tactical FPS games (Rainbow Six, Rainbow Six 2 Rogue Spear, Ghost Recon, and Sum of All Fears) are excellent on PC but translate horribly to console. The precise, methodical gameplay doesn't interface well with a controller.

The GBA game is Rainbow Six Rogue Spear, not Sum of All Fears. But yes, it's a good game. I played it for the first time a couple months ago and I was surprised at how good it is. They did a great job encapsulating the "tactical" feel of the Rainbow Six games in a GBA game. Obviously it's very different than the PC games, but unlike the console ports of the PC games, it feels well represented for the system it is on.

>> No.8396808
File: 46 KB, 473x466, 27094front-3003.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8396884

There are two GBA games, one is rogue spear the other is sum of all fears.

>> No.8397117

They did well to be the white out of that IP

>> No.8397204

Cool, I didn't know about the Sum of All Fears game on GBA. I'll be checking it out! Thanks.

>> No.8397258

this and the dr evil gbc game were advertised constantly in game magazines back then

>> No.8397291

Well, that mindset is why everything is saturated around "protect da kids!", censoring as much shit as possible that can remotely be attributed with sex offenders. Ice cream trucks started dying out cause of the association of the truck/van in Muricastan, so they continue to attribute that to everything involving a van just to kill off anything these retards touch. Once the van producers get enough of the association and stop producing vans, they'll just move to some other vehicle type in order to destroy the manufacturers' reputation as no one would be comfortable in buying one.

>> No.8397293
File: 216 KB, 1512x2156, mask_ps2_cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.8397723
File: 88 KB, 640x651, 8h90o.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8397921

Why did that kid bring a home console cartridge to school??

>> No.8397929

>why everything is saturated around "protect da kids!"
It's to warm other motorists that there may be kids running around the parked ice cream truck and to be wary not to run any of them over you sperg

>> No.8397936 [DELETED] 

Still better combat than Morrowind

>> No.8397951

ice cream vans are everywhere in England

>> No.8397972

Not him but kids do shit like that all the time. He was probably bragging to his friends. Anyway, based Uncle.

>> No.8397984
File: 115 KB, 800x782, 159782-the-three-stooges-playstation-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8397990
File: 48 KB, 1024x618, 1638755210411m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

friendly reminder boomer teachers used to steal from millenial students back in the day. fuck boomers

>> No.8399570

This game is called Cabela's Big Game Hunter: Ultimate Challenge

The screenshot you posted interested me so I played this game today. It actually wasn't bad. Slow moving, but that's expected for a hunting game. The visuals and controls are on the level of early PS1 titles even though it's a very late release. Neither of those issues bothers me, though. It was fun cruising around on my ATV looking for a deer to murder and then hopping off and moving toward it on foot until I could get a good shot. Was able to take out 2 deer in the short time I played. Even though you are hunting animals, I didn't see any gore or blood so it's probably fine to play around most kids as well.

>> No.8399648

If you're stupid enough to get caught with something at school that you shouldn't have then you deserve it.
Retarded -oomer poster. Seriously fuck off with that shit, it's cancerous.

>> No.8399671
File: 235 KB, 1000x750, crazy frog racer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8399691

based boomers stealing from braindead whiny millennials

>> No.8399714
File: 22 KB, 320x258, D31F30A8-D5C4-4FC8-A248-B0F961AA19C0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Not a bad game, it is a Sega Genesis port of a MS DOS game, and it has an incredible amount of voice samples in a Sega Genesis cart. It is an edutainment game, so most people never went near it in mt country, but it oozes more soul than any console edutainment game of is time.

>> No.8399810
File: 104 KB, 512x511, tip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>> No.8399842

>but it oozes more soul than any console edutainment game of is time
Do you talk like this in real life?

>> No.8399861
File: 117 KB, 320x240, D2A99F0A-5384-4FAE-8B9C-07F3E9CF2B93.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.8399885

>starring Terry "Hulk" Hogan

Did he go by Terry Hogan?

>> No.8399887

That's gotta be better than the NES game right? That shit is so bad, but I'm a Bill and Ted sucker so I played a lot of it.

>> No.8399910

Nuke this world

>> No.8399924
File: 40 KB, 480x360, D_NQ_NP_5727-MLB4990290162_092013-O.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'd play it.

>> No.8399948

Looks better than the movie

>> No.8400027

It's also a literal reskin of 1, just look at the track layouts

>> No.8400032

Jesus Christ

>> No.8400053
File: 276 KB, 1152x865, 9D065792-3D71-4D41-8348-21B1A8239BBF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Weeb fags, in my 4chan?
More likely than you think.

>> No.8400157

Anime website.
Japanimation forum.
Chinese cartoon social media.
Korean webtoon server.

>> No.8400162

ur mum

>> No.8400163

There should be laws against stuff like this.

>> No.8400178

Sick roast, OP BTFO

>> No.8401494

i've seen that cartoon when i was a kid and i always wanted to play this but then i heard it was garbage

>> No.8401639
File: 32 KB, 253x475, Hogan tip 34.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

when he was trying to legitimize himself as an actor. Probably trying to get away from needing the Hulk name for everything to so he could pay marvel less.

>> No.8402783

I liked the ps2 cabela games, especially dangerous hunts

>> No.8402852

Does anybody remember that one Cabela game that had a story mode where you were a younger brother on a hunting trip with your dad and older brother and they constantly talked shit about you because you were a pussy who didn’t like hunting?
And then a bear shows up and attacks your dad and you have to hunt it down and kill it. I think it was for the 360 so it’s not /vr/ but weird nonetheless.

>> No.8402863
File: 137 KB, 800x802, 365880-austin-powers-welcome-to-my-underground-lair-game-boy-color-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.8402864

Is this like Pokemon?

>> No.8402867
File: 61 KB, 500x495, 51zF+DOHukL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


Mike Myers has appeared in quite a few games, now that I think about it...

>Wayne's World
> Austin Powers Oh behave!
> Austin Powers: Welcome to my Evil Lair
> Cat in the Hat
> about 50 Shrek games

>> No.8402873

lol my friend had his psp stolen in high-school and was too embarrassed to get his mom to come to school to pick it up and sign the little slip of shame so he just never played psp ever again

>> No.8402890
File: 2.97 MB, 478x432, austin power gameboy simulator.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

That "game" is unbelievably based, even if it's not really a game.

>> No.8402923
File: 29 KB, 460x276, 1638889075675.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Millennial teachers steal weed off their students these days

>> No.8403003

What the hell IS this? A fake computer instead of a game?

>> No.8403007

You think that's worse remember they tried little Britain US

>> No.8403294

My Pokémon cards were taken back in my day :’(

>> No.8403498

it is a game though, the overworld being a recreation of windows doesnt mean it's not a game

there's a pac man ripoff minigame that looks like pokemon. almost top down and you move at about the same speed, you can only see what's immediately around you.

>> No.8404209

milk truk just arrive

>> No.8404229

this is the most hilarious thing ive seen all week

>> No.8404292

Shit like this makes me feel like capitalism is a moral evil.

>> No.8404298

her (((nose))) will reach you first.

>> No.8404326

>Enough clueless grandparnts were duped into buying the first game that they released a sequel.
I wonder if someone out there got that game as their first videogame and they swear up and down its the best thing ever

>> No.8404381

her tribe already reached my foreskin

>> No.8404549


>Austin Powers 2000

The Windows 2000 inspired boot screen really made me laugh. I like how accurate it looks, jumping back into DOS to load some additional drives.

>> No.8404746
File: 39 KB, 466x466, March_of_the_Penguins_(GBA).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How did this even get greenlit it's a fucking documentary? Where's my planet earth or super size me game?

>> No.8404839

I always thought this was a "real" movie like happy feet or something when I was a kid.

>> No.8404842


>> No.8404846

They basically turn your GBC into a PDA. A slow, clunky, Austin Powers/Dr. Evil-themed PDA. The only reason they have for being split into two is because of the grainy, crackly video clips in both cartridges.

>> No.8404850

>doesn't have voice acting
>nes version does

>> No.8404857

oh, behave!

>> No.8404908

This is just like a flip phone from the mid 00's graphically.

>> No.8405040



>> No.8405128

There are others that became games?

>> No.8405147

I remembwe that series. The superhigh tec cris craft, like knight rider in water. I remember a scene where he takes his bowl of rice out of a fridge or micrpwave or little cupboard built in that super craft.

>> No.8405217

So true. I scored some cool LCD classics like Donkey Kong II, Greenhouse and TMNT Konami. Shit was so cash, thanks dad.

>> No.8405228

>it's a British game
well that explains it

>> No.8405273

what exactly was little britain, something idiotic like jersey shore, a hastily shot set of footage featuring trashy trainwreck people who idiots decided to watch en masse for some demented reason? Maybe for the old "I may be a piece of shit but at least I'm not these people" mentality?

>> No.8406138

rip foreskin

>> No.8406316

the implication here is that you're a retard

>> No.8407346

This would have made me fucking crazy, teachers can't just steal from you in Canada. "Confiscated" meant you get it back after class, it wasn't a euphamism for "I'm taking this by force and giving it to my relative and somehow am not being accused of a crime by a parent immediately thereafter". That's insane.

>> No.8407397

That's generally what it means, I don't know what hick shit hole towns these guys are living in where the teacher actually kept their property after confiscating it.

>> No.8408517

>Game Boy Printer

Excuse me? What could you print with this game?

>> No.8408661

>What could you print with this game?
The game. That you just lost.