/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.8167773]

contemporary Symphony of the Night review: were they right?

[Anonymous No.8167785]

>>8167773
Game journalists are never right. Aria of Sorrow is better though .

[Anonymous No.8167798]

Imagine unironically being a britbong.

[Anonymous No.8167807]

>"not all British people talk like this"

[Anonymous No.8167827]

>>8167807
I feel like it's gone out since the 90's, and I miss it. When was the last time someone called something "pants"?

[Anonymous No.8167858]

>>8167807
Modern brits just talk like americans with a soft accent now

[Anonymous No.8167881]

>>8167773
Tasteless normies were always around, what a surprise.

Also game "journalism" is cancer that needs to die.

[Anonymous No.8167952]

>>8167773
>>8167807
Britshit mags don't matter. Deal with it.

[Anonymous No.8167962]

This isn't a review or symphony of the night

[Anonymous No.8167978]

Why are British gaming mags so snarky and passive aggressive?

[Anonymous No.8167993]

>>8167773
British gaming magazines were and are absolute filth rags full of unfunny attempts to wisecracking and funny but it just comes off as extremely cringe. There was this old Sinclair magazine or something that rated games like ‘15 Seagulls out of 400’ that was full of complete none reviews full of terrible jokes and wacky observations, and I feel like that template has just kept over with all UK gaming print media. It’s so annoying

[Anonymous No.8168009]

Who's got the scan from that Nintendo magazine saying that SotN looked like ass compared to Castlevania 64?

[Anonymous No.8168025]

>>8168009
Official Nintendo Magazine

[Anonymous No.8168031]

>>8167978
Small peepees and/or hen-pecked husbands

[Anonymous No.8168037]

>>8167978
I feel British magazine culture is fundamentally rooted in The Beano.

[Anonymous No.8168038]

>>8168009
Full scan. Funny how they’re reviewing what looks like a tech demo with graphics that are even more jagged and flat polygon heavy than the base game, instead of the actual product

[Anonymous No.8168054]

>>8168025
That didn't age well.

[Anonymous No.8168070]

>>8167773
>British """humor"""

[Anonymous No.8168075]

>>8167993
We had our fair share of shit mags like this here (Germany) but also some very objective and professionally written ones.

Shame that most of them drifted into graphics/tech whore territory in the late 90s, putting too much emphasis on tech and numbers alone(your game doesn't push this many polygons so it must be from the 80s or something like that).

[Anonymous No.8168085]

>>8168038
I don't think I've ever seen that blocky Carrie model before. I like it.

[Anonymous No.8168102]

>>8168075
Basically every single game Magazine did that, regardless of country. It was really bad in America and Britain. Stuff like Bubsy 3D would get praised by magazines because it’s HIGH TEC CUTTING EDGE GRAFFICKS. A lot of fantastic games got ignored or looked over because they were 2D in a 3D world, like the SOTN review OP posted

[Anonymous No.8168135]

Reviewers used to be quite harsh on 2D games in the late 90's.

"Instead of a three-dimensional polygon graphic, there is again a pure bitmap look, which would also have been possible on the SNES."

[Anonymous No.8168141]

>>8168135
>expecting 3D for 1993 game
Are they actually fucking retarded?

[Anonymous No.8168142]

>>8168135
This is what I meant. Combined with inane brain farts like "which would also have been possible on the SNES".

[Anonymous No.8168160]

It’s kind of sad to think a game reviewer was more likely prepped to give a game like Lawnmower Man a higher rating than like FF6 because WOOOOAAH 3DDDDDDDDD

[Anonymous No.8168171]

At least Nintendo Power was always fair and balanced and didn't take jabs at Sega and Sony.

[Anonymous No.8168195]

>>8168171
Have to give them credit that they didn’t resort to endless shit slinging, whereas official nintendo magazine was endlessly droning on about the Lamestation and Sega Shitstain

[Anonymous No.8168253]

>>8167807

[Anonymous No.8168256]

>>8167773
GamePro gave Tales of Destiny like a D or something because it wasn't 3D like FF7. GamePros now dead and irrelevant

[Anonymous No.8168271]

>>8168253
What language is that?

[Anonymous No.8168275]

>>8167978
>>8168037
British people are on 24/7 "I was only pretending to be retarded" and if you ever call them out they'll just go "hurf hurf bro it's just bants"

[Anonymous No.8168276]

if there's another prevention in the future i hope it targets journalists

[Anonymous No.8168287]

if there's another pandemic in the future i hope it targets journalists

[Anonymous No.8168364]

Guess which of these four reviewers actually played the game past the first level.

[Anonymous No.8168458]

>>8168287
It already is, just the right wing radio ones.

[Anonymous No.8168565]

>>8167978
Because you had to have a sense of humour to work there, which is why they're the only magazines you can read and not be bored to death

[Anonymous No.8168593]

>>8168565
The drivel they print isn’t even funny, it’s outright embarassing.

[Anonymous No.8168650]

>>8168593
Imagine complaining about the freedom to shit on a AAA game, whether rightly or wrongly. If a contemporary '''journalist''' did this they'd be blacklisted and lose half their ad revenue.

[Anonymous No.8168663]

>>8168650
Paid opinions or intentionally bad opinions for the sake of comedy. Neither is very useful.

[Anonymous No.8168669]

>>8168663
It's never comedy, until you call them out for their retardation and suddenly "it's just a joke bro why are you so mad"

[Anonymous No.8168834]

>>8168364
I'd say a 5 sounds right - totally average, not great, not bad, it's ok.

[Anonymous No.8168840]

>>8168650
>AAA game,
their complaint is that the graphics aren't modern enough you bloody wank

[Anonymous No.8168845]

>>8168650
The only way a contemporary "journalist" would get blacklisted is if they gave a AAA game anything less than an 8.

[Anonymous No.8168935]

>>8168271
Londoner speak
It translates to 'Only an idiot would stop people having sex with each other'

[Anonymous No.8169028]

>Made seppos seethe so hard they tried to get his company to fire him

[Anonymous No.8169058]

>>8167773

Gaming Journalism being cancer since time immemorial.

[Anonymous No.8169072]

>>8169028
I'm not really getting what his issue with H&M Stuff was beyond the retail price. It was one of the better Stuff Packs.

[Anonymous No.8169098]

>>8169072
Even in that review, you can see it got a 5/10, which is average. Neither good nor bad

[Anonymous No.8170145]

>>8169098
It's 5%

[Anonymous No.8171257]

Silent Hill 2 (PSM).

[Anonymous No.8171262]

>>8171257
Another one. This one is from Game Informer. The "James hides in the closet like a wuss" always makes me laugh.

[Anonymous No.8171268]

>>8171262
Fuck. Here.

[Anonymous No.8171289]

>>8168135
>jump & shoot
What a genre

[Anonymous No.8171307]

>>8167773
No, fifth gen vidya journalism was too obsessed with 3D - even though 3D at the time was still throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks. That guy in particular got his wish fulfilled with Castlevania 64, and to absolutely no one's surprise it's not that good.

[Anonymous No.8171313]

>>8168025
>tiny hero has to fight big, cheesy monsters
Joke's on them, that's my fetish.

[Anonymous No.8171331]

>>8169028
Little did they anticipate that eventually people on Steam Marketplace would trade individual gun skins for ten pounds.

[Anonymous No.8171386]

>>8167773
>Gaming Journalism
Its nice for making sure a game isn't a buggy mess but ends there. Its no different from critics anywhere else that tend to have shit takes

[Anonymous No.8171420]

>>8171331
>tfw literally paid to boot up TF2 every few months
Thank you based Valve

[Anonymous No.8171478]

>>8167773
>cacky looking
>cut the mustard
>avoid it like le clap
Jesus... I don't remember it being this bad

[Anonymous No.8171487]

>>8168458
Dont forget your 4th and 5th booster shots, faggot

[Anonymous No.8171505]

>>8169028
>fuck
Well! I expect that kind of language at Denny's, but not here!

[Anonymous No.8171595]

>>8171487
>2015 tourist

[Anonymous No.8171596]

>>8171268
>complains about "clueless wandering"
>praises the combat for being easy
no wonder mainstream gaming evolved in the way it did

[Anonymous No.8171732]

Gaming journos were as retarded back then as they are now. The only thing that has changed is their focus from iT's NoT 3D to iT's NoT tRaNnYiNcLuSiVe

[Anonymous No.8171751]

>>8171732
This is true. And I would take this one step further to note that 3d games are for trannies.

[Anonymous No.8172239]

>>8171732
So let me guess, everybody plays Patch 1.03?

[Anonymous No.8173467]

>>8167773
This doesn't say "Symphony of the Night".

[Anonymous No.8173796]

>>8173467
I've tried to trace it back-- the review format is identical to UK magazine Playstation Pro, but I can't find the issue they may have reviewed SotN. That said, while it may be tempting to pin this review to the much later and much less interesting Castlevania Chronicles, the magazine would stop using this format by time that game was released in the UK. Additionally, by time it was, comparisons to Crash and especially Croc would be too outdated.

[Anonymous No.8173807]

>>8173796
also: OP's review says this game is Konami's "PSX debut". That means it can only be SotN.

[Anonymous No.8173808]

>>8168565
>sense of humour

[Anonymous No.8173814]

>>8167773

these are the 3d muh realism crotch sniffers who would later shit on Wind Waker for being for little kids.

[Anonymous No.8173968]

2D was shit on in the transition to 3D. It's not just them it was literally all of us.

[Anonymous No.8173974]

>>8168935
Sozzled means drunk so she's talking about fucking while drunk specifically

[Anonymous No.8173982]

>>8167773
>game journos having shit takes/underhanded takes aimed at shipping newer hardware
color me shocked

[Anonymous No.8173989]

>>8168275
Sounds like you couldn't handle the banter.

[Anonymous No.8173996]

>>8173968
You maybe. I unironically loved Yoshi's Story.

[Anonymous No.8173998]

>>8169028
hey that was the mag that used to have all the titties in it right?
they were cool
i used to buy that when i was underage cuz i couldnt buy pr0ns

also im with him on the paid DLC meme
ahead of his time desu

[Anonymous No.8174013]

>>8169072
his issue was that back then it was standard for games to release new patches/content for free that mag in particular was known for coming with CDs that had expansions/patches on it for popular new games
looking at how things turned out, he was dead-on

[Anonymous No.8174015]

>>8167978
They used to have an empire that the sun never set on. Now they fluff their Muslim bulls and get arrested for wrongthink.

[Anonymous No.8174074]

>>8167978
At least they're funny to read. Game Informer (aka anti-Nintendo manchildren) would consistenly make unprofessional reviews just to slander them and cater to their snoy/xbox dudebro audience.

[Anonymous No.8174083]

>>8174074
>there’s lengthy dialogue in an RPG so the game is boring

Absolutely primo bait, it’s a wonder Nintendo didn’t come down on them for libel

[Anonymous No.8174306]

>>8173968
Didn't have a SNES growing up, we had an NES, then went to the N64. Emulating SNES games, I was awestruck by how good the graphics of stuff like Super Metroid looked compared to the N64's games.
I still liked N64 games, and I understood the purpose of full 3D worlds like in SM64 and 007, but man, 16-bit 2D games were far more aesthetically pleasing.

[Anonymous No.8174353]

>>8174074
That's not an unprofessional review. It's pretty fair for that game. Sorry not everyone thinks Paper Mario games are gifts from heaven.

[Anonymous No.8174401]

>>8168834
The number isn't the issue. It's that three of the reviews complain about the lack of difficulty in Mr Gimmick, when the game is known for ramping right the fuck up in difficulty after the first two levels.

[Anonymous No.8174423]

Say what you want about modern video game journalists, but at least now they have a more professional and less edgy and juvenile attitude when reviewing games. The 90's to early 00's era of games journalism was a comical joke. And the saddest thing is that in the past you had to pay to read the opinions of these clowns.

[Anonymous No.8174426]

>>8167773
Yet again, there is no mention of Symphony on this page. Everything they said echoes MUCH closer to Castlevania Chronicles, which was the Sharp X68000 remake of the first game but brought to PlayStation. Die you fuck

[Anonymous No.8174458]

>>8174426
>>8173796
>>8173807

[Anonymous No.8174501]

>>8174015
If there’s any country who deserved to have their empire dismantled, it’s the Brits.

[Anonymous No.8174593]

>>8174423
Kids who were passionate about what they were playing was still better than middle-aged failed journalists desperately looking for something to be offended by

[Anonymous No.8174624]

>>8167773
>LASTABILITY

[Anonymous No.8174629]

>>8168025
>Urgh! It's another crap playstation shot! Rubbish...
Thanks for telling me how to feel, mister!

[Anonymous No.8174632]

>>8168038
>>8168085
They're using bullshots from the E3 video fo the prototype.

[Anonymous No.8174768]

>>8174353
>There isn't a single worthwhile line or quip in any of the exchanges throughout the rest of the game
>Downright shameful dialogue
Apart from the fact that Lisa here is reviewing a translated copy of the game that doesn't have any of the original dialogue in it, which is normal for American reviewers, people still talk about Paper Mario RPG's dialogue to this day.
Over on >>>/trash/ there was an entire new game published a couple months ago called A Horrible Curse that's based on a joke from this game. So one of this game's recurring jokes was so influential that it had its own entire game based around it, and that game is now getting a sequel.

Having this opinion is fine. Lisa is allowed to have any stupid opinion she wants. Publishing that opinion as a supposedly objective review is unprofessional.
Ultimately I blame the editor for assigning an RPG to two people who clearly shouldn't be reviewing RPGs.
I was subscribed to Game Informer for many years and still enjoy back issues, but trusting them for objective reviews is a very bad idea.

[Anonymous No.8174936]

>>8167773
>Sound - 6
That's all I have to read to know they're wrong.

[Anonymous No.8176253]

>>8168037
Speaking of wacky British things, does anyone have the picture of this british punk (i assume) talking about furries, and saying something like "furries? blimey! worse than the homos, peter puffers, poofters, and gays, combined!"

[Anonymous No.8176314]

>>8174423
Brit mags are their own moronic layer of worthless.

[Anonymous No.8176341]

>>8168025
>>8168038
>so good that the n64 games are a footnote on the timeline https://imgur.com/a/ADD2vdm
lol

[Anonymous No.8176354]

>>8176314
Based bimbochads

[Anonymous No.8176779]

>>8167773
>psx
psx bros, we always win!

[Anonymous No.8177472]

>>8167773
OLD BAD NEW GOOD, the official review

[Anonymous No.8177474]

>>8167978
Because the British are too.

[Anonymous No.8177636]

>>8168253
Cockney is easily the most embarassing dialect of English out there