/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.8059280]

>permanently cute childhood friend

In the real world, Saria would've won the Linkbowl no contest

[Anonymous No.8059567]

do kokiri even have toilets?
where do they even shit at?

[Anonymous No.8059574]

she was also a cute fempedo too

[Anonymous No.8059639]

Kokiri are creepy motherfuckers and enemies of humanity.

[Anonymous No.8059643]

>>8059639
There's no humans in Zelda.

[Anonymous No.8059648]

>>8059643
What's the difference between a Hylian and a Human?

[Anonymous No.8059651]

>>8059648
They're elves. Elves are fags.

[Anonymous No.8059665]

>>8059651
Which is wht OoT is a terrible game. It gives me no incentive to actually beat it. Why would I save a world inhabited by an entire race of faggots from Chad McGanondorf? Not gonna happen.

[Anonymous No.8059696]

>>8059648
>>8059651
Hylians are called humans in Twilight Princess and Wind Waker

[Anonymous No.8059703]

>>8059280
That is why game designers try to mitigate first turn advantage.

[Anonymous No.8059704]

>>8059639
>creepy
Yes
>enemies
No

[Anonymous No.8059705]

>>8059696
They also have pointy ears and can live beyond 100 years on average.

[Anonymous No.8059708]

Damn lolicons, get out of my board.

[Anonymous No.8059873]

>>8059696
They're also called humans in...most games. In fact, in A Link to the Past, there actually was a difference: Hylians were intended to be the ancient people of Hyrule, while "humans" were their modern descendants. The only game that exclusively refers to them as Hylians instead of human is Ocarina of Time, which actually makes sense chronologically, even though Majora's Mask called them humans as they aren't in Hyrule. That's why Hylian and human became interchangeable terms over time, and in games like the pre-Hyrule setting of Skyward Sword, they're just human. For that matter, Gerudos are also called human in Breath of the Wild. So here's the deal: Hylians and Gerudos are defined as FICTIONAL HUMAN RACES. Anyone trying to tell you that Hylians aren't human and the round-eared ones are really another species entirely is too proud to fix their schoolyard fanfiction from before text dumps became widely available (looking at you, Zelda Wiki).

[Anonymous No.8059912]

>>8059643
Yes there are, you see a bunch in the Gameboy games and Twilight Princess. I think Majoras mask had some too but I forget. Happy Mask Salesman was a human in the Oracle games but not in Majora.

[Anonymous No.8059962]

>>8059708
No.

[Anonymous No.8059971]

>>8059708
Moot allowed Loli, this site had a Loli board

[Anonymous No.8059998]

>>8059567
they love in the woods. have you ever been in the woods? if you need to shit in the woods you just shit in the woods. ffs that's what everything that's ever lived in the woods has done forever. do bears shit in the woods? guess not, no toilets. jfc.

[Anonymous No.8060041]

A prefer the fish, and i'm salty as hell that it was seen as not okay back then, but now that there's a MALE fish it's seen as being contrarian to NOT want to fuck the fish.

[Anonymous No.8060214]

Why does the Saria story make me so melancholy? I can't put it into words.

[Anonymous No.8060258]

>>8059280
>implying link was a lolicon
he's clearly a homosexual

[Pr?nc?ss Sevenleaf No.8060259]

>perma-children who never age
>probably ace, because they are creations of the Great Deku Tree who don't reproduce sexually, and also children
>they're children you weirdo

No OP. No.

[Anonymous No.8060267]

>>8059280
Best girl indeed.

[Anonymous No.8060271]

>>8059998
excellent post

[Anonymous No.8060287]

>>8059280
I wouldn't mind another LoZ game where you spend more time as a kid doing stuff with your forest friends. Flesh out the forest more, go deeper into the lost woods, explore the concept of intruders on the forest.

You get a pretty clear idea of Link's life prior to becoming a hero in games like Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, and certainly Breath of the Wild.

It's be interesting to see what it's like being a kid in the forest, flirting with your forest girl neighbors, drawing cool pics, and stick fighting with your bros.

[Anonymous No.8060352]

>>8060214

WHat wouldn't make you melancholic about it?

Childhood friend, one of the few who always stood on your side, sad goodbye when you go out into the world, quick reuniting before the temple but then you get separated AGAIN, and then you never see each other again because becoming a sage. You can only contact her anymore through your Ocrina cell phone but the sentences sound weirdly... lifeless and you can never see each other again.
Out of Link's and therefore the player's perspective there is the thing that Zelda transforms and sends him back at the end, so you can imagine him before the events of MM going back to the forest and reuniting with her again - but imagine it from her perspective in the timeline after she became a sage, it's even worse, you get sent back - and now this version of her cannot talk to you AT ALL anymore. You are gone.... So sad.

There is also the meta sadness that for such an important character she does not get the recognition she deserves in spinoffs etc.

[Anonymous No.8060354]

Don't forget that Link instantly ages 7 years more or less, so if he was attracted to Saria as a kid, he wouldn't all of a sudden stop being attracted to her as an adult

[Anonymous No.8060376]

>>8060258
He just wants a mommy.

[Anonymous No.8060382]

>>8060352
Yeah that's probably true. For some reason, it just hits harder as I get older. It's something about a loss of childhood and the loss of a good childhood friend all wrapped up into one. Like the saying "you can never go home again"

[Anonymous No.8060459]

For me it's Midna(shortstack form)

[Anonymous No.8060483]

>>8059971
/l/ was deleted long before moot left.

[Anonymous No.8060548]

>>8060459
I mean the other form is nice, love those fucking legs, but let's not pretend that there isn't a more superior form, if just by a bit overall.

[Anonymous No.8060564]

>>8060548
Its superior even for non coomer reasons, she has a personality fitting of a mischievous little gremlin. I cannot picture her true form as the same character I adventured with in that game. And it's just all around a more memorable design as well. I swear the whole "Beatuty and the beast" shit where we learn to love something then it gets changed in the end ( usually to something a lot less appealing than what we knew it as originally ) is the absolute worst trope in storytelling.

[Anonymous No.8060598]

>>8060564

>Belle! This is me!
>... Change back!

[Anonymous No.8060628]

>>8060564
Except the point of BatB is he was still the same person on the inside, even if he looks...wierd, he is the person Belle fell in love with. The difference is Midna doesn't even act the same in her true form.

[Anonymous No.8060664]

>>8060376

[Anonymous No.8060675]

>>8060483
You can blame the ad holders and PayPal for that. It was funny having it hosted off-site for a while on not4chan. That was a pretty funny joke by itself. It's just a shame that at some point the site got overrun by trash, especially when Moot had to finally fully divorce himself of it, since the PayPal fundraisers caught on to the joke.

It would probably still be around today if it wasn't pure repellant for any kind of revenue.

[Anonymous No.8060698]

>>8059648
Hylians are the bloodline closest to the Gods, capable of magic and their long ears allegedly can hear the whispers of the Gods.

Humans have round ears and can't perform magic.

[Anonymous No.8060749]

>>8059998
they have tree homes, so there oughta be tree toilets.

[Anonymous No.8060796]

>>8059648
Hylians are long-eared humans that are thought to trace their ancestry to the goddess Hylia (aka Zelda from Skyward Sword), and so they're believed to be the race closest to the gods, with some of them having special powers like Zelda's divinations. Round-eared humans are unnamed, miscellaneous gaijin races that aren't particularly tied to Hyrule's lore and became prominent in parts of the timeline where the Hylian bloodline is thinning.

[Anonymous No.8060928]

>>8060675
Funny thing that PayPal doesn't know I've used them to process payments for loli commissions.

[Anonymous No.8060949]

>>8060664
>Having Saria be your mommy
Me too.

[Anonymous No.8061003]

>>8060796
>Hylia (aka Zelda from Skyward Sword)
God I fucking hate this revisionist shit. It wasn't enough to just be a bad game they had to do irreparable damage to the lore.

[Anonymous No.8061021]

>priding yourself on your arbitrarily pointy ears
>when Sheikah, Gerudo (sometimes), even fucking Kokiri, etc. have them too.
Not saying the Hylians deserved to die off, BUT...

[Anonymous No.8061089]

>>8061003
To be fair, it's pretty obvious from the Japanese name ("Hylia-jin") that they are a people OF Hylia. Since Hyrule was named after Hylians according to the Japanese ALttP manual, at least SS gives an answer as to what exactly is this Hylia that the Hylians themselves were named after. What would've made more sense is if the other humans from Skyloft settled on the surface too and their descendants became Hylians while Zelda's offspring became the royal family, but no, Hyrule Historia suggests that her descendants are known as Hylians and the royal family was founded sometime later. At least let Groose be the ancestor of the Gerudo, he's got the striking red hair. The unspoken terror of this explanation is that the Oocca are probably the resulting unholy mix of Loftwings and some very lonely humans.

[Anonymous No.8061441]

>>8059665
Gannon is Jew.

[Anonymous No.8061447]

>>8059705
Elves live for at least 1,000 years.

[Anonymous No.8061452]

>>8061441
Yes, he is explicitly a Moses analog.

[Anonymous No.8061460]

>>8061089
>spoiler

[Anonymous No.8061563]

>>8061089
>at least SS gives an answer as to what exactly is this Hylia
A question that didn't need answering

[Anonymous No.8062047]

>>8060664
god i wish that were me

[Anonymous No.8062343]

>>8061089
>The unspoken terror of this explanation is that the Oocca are probably the resulting unholy mix of Loftwings and some very lonely humans.
might've been quite the experience too

[Anonymous No.8062382]

>>8059280
I would have sex with Saria, I don't care if she's a kid. To be honest I would have sex with most of the girls in Zelda. Especially Midna, both forms.

[Anonymous No.8063025]

>>8059567
>>8060749
I'm sure they have designated shitting trees

[Anonymous No.8063067]

>>8059643
the first game's manual hints at the fact that humans exist in that world

[Anonymous No.8064797]

Well, up until obvious psysiological issues happened

[Anonymous No.8064858]

>>8059639
she just means everyone hwo gets lost in the lost woods

[Anonymous No.8064968]

>>8059971
moot unironically hated lolicon, said there would never be a /l/ board again, and called all lolicons pedophiles
I don't agree with the guy but don't lie

[Anonymous No.8064973]

I'm 99% certain Link ultimately ends up with Malon. None of the other options make much sense.

Saria: He grew up with her so she's probably more like a sister to him. Also she's an eternal child so that would be weird, and she presumably can't have children.

Zelda: Princess, too high status for someone who literally grew up in the woods, even if he's a hero (she'll probably have a political marriage to some prince from another kingdom), and there's no actual romantic suggestion with her anyway.

Ruto: A goddamn fish person so no, even if there are hints of a possible romantic relationship. And making half-Zora children would be stupid.

Nabooru: Too old (I imagine she's at least 10 years older than him). She playfully flirts with him a little after he's an adult, but there's not any serious romantic stuff.

Malon: Human, same age, clear romantic undertone (her father even suggests that Link marry her), lives on a ranch making her close to Link in class, grew up close to nature like Link, they clearly like each other a lot. It's perfect. She's also hard-working (given that she lives on a ranch), has a very cheerful personality, and is a redhead (which is cute), so she'd make an excellent wife.

[Anonymous No.8064989]

And Link is not a pedo so he would definitely not be interested in her in that way

[Anonymous No.8064990]

>>8064973
you assume too much about the universe. isnt talon the only farmer in the world? if that’s the case, he must be pretty wealthy and of higher class, probably even closer to the king than the people of hyrule. also, link and the kokiri exist outside of the central polis, and are thus classless and outside the society of hyrule.

[Anonymous No.8064998]

>pointless waifufaggotry thread up for over a day
This is what happens when 6th gen console discussion is allowed and all the stupid kids from /v/ start using this board
FUCK OFF

[Anonymous No.8065038]

>>8064998
Ocarina of Time isn't gen 6 and there have been waifu fag threads since day 1. Gay ones too.

[Anonymous No.8065076]

>>8064998
retard

[Anonymous No.8065085]

>>8064973
>she's probably more like a sister to him
Nice headcanon

[Anonymous No.8065089]

>>8059280
I'd lick her tits when she was legal.

[Anonymous No.8065102]

>>8064990
These are some incredibly autistic points.

>isnt talon the only farmer in the world?
Very unlikely. The game presumably truncates the world significantly due to technological limitations, leaving your imagination to fill in the rest, like with most video games. Hyrule field is certainly much larger than what is shown in-game with numerous agrarian villages and farmsteads all over the place.

>he must be pretty wealthy and of higher class
If he were then he would have likely hired a lot more people to do all of the non-managerial labor for him, but we see Talon and his daughter directly tending to the horses and chickens, and delivering milk to the castle town themselves. As it is his only actual employee is Ingo.

>link and the kokiri exist outside of the central polis, and are thus classless and outside the society of hyrule.
Link is still recognizably a Hylian. Racial differences in Hyrule are very clear so he would be seen as a typical citizen and is generally treated as one in-game.

>>8065085
This is just going by basic human psychology. The reason you're not attracted to your immediate relatives, no matter how objectively sexy they might be, is because you grew up around them. That's just how things are.

[Anonymous No.8065109]

>>8064973
>and there's no actual romantic suggestion with her anyway.
Autism.

>>8065085
I disagree, I have always felt weird if I think sexually about girls with whom I went to elementary school.

[Anonymous No.8065118]

>>8065089
Having sex with three year old girls is okay according to the Jewish Talmud.

[Anonymous No.8065119]

>>8065109
>Autism.
You're the kind of sperg who thinks a girl wants to fuck any time she's being nice to you lol

[Anonymous No.8065124]

>>8065102
>>8065109
The childhood friend interest isn't a trope for no reason. Shitloads of people become attracted to their young friends and continue that attraction into adulthood.

[Anonymous No.8065127]

>>8065119
Nah, for me when girls are nice to me that usually is the case. However as a man of God I have no interest in such unrighteous acts.

[Anonymous No.8065131]

>>8065124
I suppose, they did do it in Twilight Princess. But because she didn't age that simply cannot be the case.

[Anonymous No.8065136]

>>8065124
Fiction also isn't real life. If you knew someone literally since you were a baby (as Link did), you're almost definitely not going to be attracted to them. And what would happen in the real world is the whole conceit of this thread.

>Shitloads of people become attracted to their young friends and continue that attraction into adulthood.
Now this certainly can happen, but they would have to first meet each other after they had already grown up a bit.

[Anonymous No.8065141]

>>8065136
>If you knew someone literally since you were a baby (as Link did), you're almost definitely not going to be attracted to them.
This does not apply for me. Why would it apply for Link?

[Anonymous No.8065145]

>>8065141
You want to fuck your sister? Now that's weird.

[Anonymous No.8065149]

>>8065145
So?

[Anonymous No.8065176]

>>8065145
Now that's a leap in logic. No one mentioned a sister.

[Anonymous No.8065189]

>>8065145
I would if she looked like this.

[Anonymous No.8065192]

>>8065189
Thankfully humans don't look like that.

[Anonymous No.8065390]

>>8065145
He didn't say sister.

[Anonymous No.8065491]

>>8064973
>Ruto: A goddamn fish person so no,
Believe it or not, there was a Ruto-anon a while back that earnestly believed this, but let's actually humor this for a moment. How about the fact that Ruto's advances clearly go over Link's head? "You don't know what she's talking about, but you've finally collected all three Spiritual Stones!" How about the fact that adult Link comically WINCES IN SHOCK in the middle of Ruto's declaration of love in the Water Temple? How about the fact that, since young Link was sent back in time before his first meeting Zelda at the end, he now had no reason to get the Zora's Sapphire, meaning the only timeline he still exists in is the only one he never got "engaged"? How about the fact that, since TP Link is confirmed to be OoT Limk's descendant, he blatantly has no ties whatsoever to Zora royalty? There's so many ways to destroy this ship it isn't even funny.

[Anonymous No.8067215]

>>8065491
Good points. Guess it's Malon all the way.

[Anonymous No.8067224]

>>8065192
Yes, that's why 3D is PD.

[Anonymous No.8068861]

>>8064973
>Ruto: A goddamn fish person so no
You upset me.

[Anonymous No.8069075]

i hate you all

[Anonymous No.8069563]

>>8069075
Why?

[Anonymous No.8070280]

>>8069563
you are disgusting

[Anonymous No.8070285]

>>8060287
It's pretty sad to think about Link not having a fairy, he had no answers as to why he did not, must have been an existential weight. But yeah, he had Saria.

[Anonymous No.8070516]

>>8070280
What makes you say that?

[Anonymous No.8070540]

>>8060287
That would never happen.