/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.6860607]

FF1: A group of adventurers restore the power of four elemental orbs and close an infinite time loop.

FF2: A group of survivors of an Imperial attack join a resistance movement and kill the Emperor, only to face him once more as the King of Hell

FF3: A group of youths chosen by crystals set out to restore balance to a world on the brink of destruction

FF4: A conflicted knight and his entourage uncover a conspiracy to steal the world's crystals and discover an ancient civilization on the moon.

FF5: A world is temporally split to seal an ancient evil who begins their plan to reduce everything to non-existence, when a group of adventurers restore the state of the planet.

FF6: A meglomaniacal psychopath throws the balance of magic out of place, scars the planet, and forces a resistance group to destroy the source of all magic.

FF7: An eco-terrorist group tracks the spectre of a former elite soldier under the influence of an ancient space alien who intends to absorb the 'blood' of the planet by summoning a giant meteor.

FF8: A powerful sorceress attempts to cheat fate by compressing time into one moment using the unique abilities of a girl who can project people into the past when she is killed by a group of child soldiers who only became soldiers because of her actions.

FF9: Two Angels of Death are sent to a world to harvest souls to revitalize their dying world. One of the Angels gets amnesia, and saves the world because he wants to bone a 16-year-old princess. Everyone has an existential crisis.

FF10: A dream manifests itself as a blonde fuccboi and encourages a spiritual mortician to end a cycle of violence on the world.

[Anonymous No.6860667]

Is this the thread where we copy paste game synopses from GameSpot?

[Anonymous No.6860694]

>>6860667
Gamespot didn't write that, I did you asshole.

Legend of Zelda: A princess splits a magical relic to hide it from an evil fat pig. A young blond fuccboi takes up arms to save her

Adventure of LinK: A princess in a centuries-long coma is awakened by a young blond fuccboi placing power crystals in shrines around the world.

Link to the Past: A princess, descended from wise magical men tied to a holy relic, is trapped in a crystal. a young pink-haired fuccboi takes up arms to save her.

Link's Awakening: A blond fuccboi gets a concussion

Ocarina of Time: A princess attempts to safegaurd the key to the triumverate holy relic that represents the of gods of creation from a the first man born in a century to a society of little brown fuck machines who has dreams of conquest. A blond fuccboi takes up arms and may or may not succeed in saving her.

Windwaker: A development team decides that the best way to avoid developing a world is to cover it in water. A blond fuccboi presses 'A' when prompted.

Twilight Princess: A princess of a different dimension is transmogrified into an imp which sweaty men obsess over. A blond fuccboi trudges through a terrible first half and begins to enjoy himself around the same time he acquires a magical dreidel.

[Anonymous No.6860705]

>>6860694
Where's Majora's Mask?

[Anonymous No.6860708]

>>6860705
In the moon, for all I know

[Anonymous No.6860717]

>>6860694
>Link's Awakening: A blond fuccboi gets a concussion

I love this game but top kek

[Anonymous No.6860879]

MG: The head of a Special Forces unit sends a rookie to fail in an infiltration mission to his own stronghold. Turns out the rookie was better than expected.

MG2SS: Mel Gibson and Sean Connery duke it out in a mercenary fortress with an imprisioned Czech biologist and Tom Berenger piloting a Mechwarrior.

MGS: Terrorists fool a special agent into arming a nuclear device, and he may or may not like men.

MGS2: An AI, developed by a secret society aiming to control the world, directs a former child soldier through an infiltration mission to analyze his sanity to use as test data for a massive social engineering project.

MGS3: The Allied powers of WW2 vie for control of a secret fund accrued during the war, nuclear war is avoided when a prodigious soldier kills his mentor and her unit to appease the soviet government.

MGS4: A player walks a few feet and watches a movie. Nanomachines.

MGS Peace Walker: A russian dyke makes an AI out of legendary soldier and attaches it to a nuclear weapons platform. The AI drowns itself to avoid a world war.

MGSV: Hideo retcons the fuck out of the established narrative and is fired before the game can be completed. Parasites.

[Anonymous No.6860904]

>>6860607
I'm not sure what the point of this thread is

[Anonymous No.6860917]

>>6860607
why do you keep remaking this sperg thread?


ok wait i can help

op post-nu/vr/ shitwave flood of gen 6 kiddies: electric boogaloo part 69 assrape edition
>OP , having become a complete faggot copy pastes his usual thread on to/vr/ for the 900th time in a vein attempt at having a thread actually live without going off the fucking rails like it does literally every time. things seem business as usual until a surprise flood of shitposters from v tie up and ballgag the moderators and twist their nipples until they finally agree to allow the rules to be arbitrarily changed for no reason other than the fact that they want to talk about halo and other shitty xbox games that no one like even at launch. OP continues his quest showing true valor in the face of adversity & eventually learns to stop posting

[Anonymous No.6860950]

>FF10 - Centuries before FF8
>FF8 - Centuries before the events of FF7, humans are simply able to draw magic from the environment
>FF7 - The very distant past. The ancients make prototypes to the crystals called materia
>FF9 - After the events of FF7, pollution settles as mist, but this is cleared up by the time FF4 occurs(when mist is centralized to a single cave)
>FF4 - "Original" FF story, the crystals were created in this game
>FF6 - Aftermath of the FF4 events. The modern technology in FF4 is replaced with steam power when the summoners and mysidonians go extinct. Esper world is discovered
>FF5 - The aftermath of the events in FF6 (Galuf's world is really the esper world)
>FF2 - A major conflict that occured before FF1
>FF3 - The aftermath of the events in FF2
>FF1 - The actual end of the series

[Anonymous No.6861054]

>stopped after finishing the tutorials for the real FF game

[Anonymous No.6862332]

>>6860950
OP is a tired copypasta, and yet this is the dumbest fan theory I've ever read.

[Anonymous No.6862415]

Bahamut Lagoon: The last remnants of a fallen kingdom rescue a princess who is able to hold the consciousness of formless dragons that fight against each other to deliver them to their original dimension and allow them to reincarnate using the bodies of an alien religious sect. All while the player watches everyone in his party getting in a romantic relationship but him.

[Anonymous No.6862418]

>>6860607
>>6860694
>>6860879
For what reason

[Anonymous No.6863269]

>>6860607
I didn't copypasta my previous hot takes from the older thread so I'm gonna do SaGa now....

S1: Tower of DOOM! Not. It's isekais but it's all in a damn tower. Kill god with chainsaw for epic memes.

S2: Well, you still kill gods. Now you have robots. Cool.

S3: Chrono Trigger before Chrono Trigger except the Talon/Time Machine had cooler music.

Romancing Saga 3: Kill gods. Well, not really. I guess the 4 elemental midbosses are sort of like demigods. Kill final boss to save world. Somehow the world is destroyed anyway, but it's reborn.

Frontier: Man , where do I start?
T260G route= Lostech WH40K ship AI loses her memories. Fight viruses infecting her HQ. Killing the virus somehow also awakened the ancient evil... well it's a giant lostech spaceship. Invade giant spaceship with cunning plan, download your brains into le Matrix to fight the spaceship AI in cyberspace. NO FUTURE!!!! You win. The ending is comfy and cawaii.
Blue= evil twin wizard seeks to gain all magic in the regionverse to kill his twin bro. Except YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER PART OF ME! Ultimate archmage goes back to hometown to reseal the great evil, which seems to be a portal to hell? But it looks like heaven. Killing final boss freezes the game. Endro~!
Red= Not-DAISHOCKER killed your father! You must now revenge! Good thing not-Kamen Rider sempai gave you not-Kamen Rider powers from planet/region not-Ultraman to FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!!! METAL Negroian is bro even though he is antag. Fight, Alkaiser!!!
https://youtu.be/EgFJJSkaRGw
... (1/??)

[Anonymous No.6863282]

>>6863269
(2/??)
>Burning passion in your arms of steel
>Shining white wings of light

>From the underworld schemes Black Cross
>Their ambitions, you shall crush one day

>Your distant memories stained with suffering
>You will change them with your burning fists

>Go Forth! ALKAISER!
>Indeed, YOU!
>Even with wandering emotions, you continue to forge ever onward
>(Oh— AL-PHOENIX!) x2

>The peaceful days have been devoured by evil
>Steel now your soul
>(Oh—)

>Your unshakeable heart extinguishing the darkness
>Strike true! Hissatsu! AL-PHOENIX!

>To have comrades to stand by you no matter what
>With glory and courage, you will change

>Fight On! ALKAISER!
>Indeed, YOU!
>With your own lone strength, you continue to forge ever onward
>(Oh— AL-PHOENIX!) x2

>[Even I fall I lose everything in my life…
>I will never ever accept defeat!]
>[In this world…
>You must believe in the “tomorrow”…]
>[You must never lose it! The Energy of Hope!!]

>[Let me explain! The hotblooded Red Okonogi is now a Warrior of Santuario.
>With the powers granted to him by Alkarl, he transforms into the Warrior of Justice – ALKAISER!]
>[UOOOOO!! HENSHIN! ALKAISER—-!!!!]

>To have comrades to stand by you no matter what
>With glory and courage, you will change

>Fight On! ALKAISER!
>Indeed, YOU!
>With your own lone strength, you continue to forge ever onward

>Go Forth! ALKAISER!
>Indeed, YOU!
>Even with wandering emotions, you continue to forge ever onward
>(Oh— AL-PHOENIX!) x3
Sing it. Feel the burning fist of JUSTICE!!!!

[Anonymous No.6863352]

>>6863282
(3/3)
Lute= You are bard. You suck. Your bro(NBR) is not bad. Somehow you end up on a feminist pirate ship who tells you must revenge on the megacorp guy who killed your father. Suddenly you can go fight the final dungeon without progressing anymore plot. After you win, you suck at your job, taking over the badguy who stole your dad's job.

Emelia= I love her. Not. Supermodel dumb blonde slot cums home one day to find her fiance dead. Some clown mask shows up. Like maybe the clown killed him??? Go straight to jail. Escape jail with help from not-Charlie's Angels. Join not-Charlie's Angels. Go on super spooky spy missions and shit which are vaguely related to that clown who may or may not have killed your husbando. Somehow you fight big bad at a church while wearing a fucking wedding dress because why the fuck not?! Depending on ??? , you kill the gay ass clown OR you shoot the mask and get your husbando back & get married.

Riki= LOTRs with a furry, except gollum is now a CHINA grill. The final boss kills you with the worst Beatles song ever written. Or not.
https://youtu.be/6vwHXV_ShaI

Asellus= Gay vampires. Gay vampires everywhere. not-Akuma is a gay vampire too. He gets very nice star-nipples in the official art. Elope with the whitu piggu rose princess because gay vampires are too stiff for your style. STALKERS come for you. You kill 'em all. White princess gets imprisoned forever in some dark maze because plot drama. You decide to kill your "dad" vampire. Embrace your inner gay vampire and become a lesbian darklord with a harem. Stay neutral and watch your human bean BFF die as a grandma while you stay forever young. Reject gay vampires totally and die like a normie, then the gay vampires say nice things at your grave.

[Anonymous No.6863863]

FF7 is my all time favorite game but the remake really annoys me and I don’t know why. I want to like it but I just can’t.

It’s too much climate change nonsense.

[Anonymous No.6863896]

>>6863863
>but the remake really annoys me and I don’t know why.
Probably because it takes a huge steaming shit on the themes and plot of the original

[Anonymous No.6864502]

>>6863896

And there’s always that...

[Anonymous No.6864546]

DK1: a plumber must rescue his gf from a giant gorilla
DK2: the gorilla's son must rescue his dad from the vengeful plumber
MB: the plumber and his brother must hold back an onslaught of weird creatures emerging from the pipes
SMB: the plumber brothers must rescue the princess of a fungus-based kingdom from an evil fire-breathing reptile king
SMB2: zzzZZZZ
SMB3: See SMB
PM:TTYD: The Thousand-Year Door is set in the town of Rogueport, in the Mushroom Kingdom.[11] The majority of locations are not featured in previous Mario games. Most locations consist of a set theme; Glitzville, for example, is a floating city centered around a fighting arena known as the Glitz Pit.[12] The enemies and town inhabitants in the game range from recurring Mario characters, like Boo, to characters exclusive to the game, such as the X-Nauts. For many stages in the game, the story is presented in the context of a novel, and is divided into eight chapters (nine counting the prologue).

[Anonymous No.6864571]

>>6863863
>remake
you mean sequel?

[Anonymous No.6864790]

>>6861054
That game is shit.

[Anonymous No.6864798]

>>6864790
Your face is FFXI

[Anonymous No.6864878]

CV1: A warrior ventures into a demon-ridden castle to kill Dracula

CV2SQ: Blighted with a lethal curse, a warrior gathers the fragmented corpse of an ancient vampire to free himself from certain death

CV3DC: A warrior teams up with a pirate, a sorceress, and a Dhampir to take down an ancient vampire

Super CV: CV1, with 8 directions of attack

CV Bloodlines: A Vampiress spreads demonic evil across Europe. A branch of the warrior's bloodline combines forces with a spearmaster who lusts for revenge against vampires.

CVROB: A descendant of the warrior rushes to the rescue of his betrothed, and other kidnapped maidens, from the clutches of Dracula

CVSOTN: Agents of Dracula steals a man's soul, and makes him his slave. Dracula's son awakens from a 400 year nap to break the control.

CVCotM: A branch of the warrior's family has a dispute over the ownership of a legendary weapon. A new warrior double-taps to run through a demon infested castle

CVHoD: The direct descendant of the original warrior sets out to rescue his childhood friend, and love interest. His best friend, Proto-Man, can't help but compare his every success against him.

CVAoS: The reincarnation of Dracula is sucked into an eclipse and force to face the truth about his existence.

CVLoI: A knight sets out to save his beloved from a blood-sucking monster. His failure to save his love sets in motion a string of vengeance that lasts over a millenium

CVDoS: A God worshipping cult makes the convoluted decision that God cannot be good without a pure evil entity, and seeks to create one so God can be truly great. The reincarnation of Dracula kicks their shit in.

CVCoD: A black magic user, focusing on Familiars, betrays his master over the death of his wife, who has a potion slinging doppelganger.

CVPoR: CHARLOTTE! JOHNATHAN! CHARLOTTE! JOHNATHAN! CHARLOTTE!

CVOoE: Lydia the Tattooed Lady protects a renaissance hamlet from a vampire.

CVLoS: God of War, German Mythology Edition

CVLoS2: *fart noises*

[Anonymous No.6866320]

>>6863863
Maybe because it barely covers 1/5th of the original game's content.

[Anonymous No.6866352]

>>6863863
>>6863863
I'm gonna be honest.

I get super bored with FF7 and can't finish and i don't know why. I thought FF7 re would be better but i just got bored later.

I just really couldn't give a shit about what happens next either way I have no idea why but i really dislike the ps1 era of final fantasy.

[Anonymous No.6866483]

>>6863282
If Re;Universe doesn't add this track to itself I'm quitting it

[Anonymous No.6867117]

>>6866352
Even Tactics?

[Anonymous No.6867174]

>>6864878
>CVOoE: Lydia the Tattooed Lady protects a renaissance hamlet from a vampire.
She's got eyes that folks adore.

[Anonymous No.6868565]

>>6860917
>stop posting about videogames on a video game forum

[Anonymous No.6869452]

>>6860917
wtf am i reading

[Anonymous No.6870308]

Did any Final Fantasy really need to be remade in the first place? The only two that really needed it are 2 and 8 so they could fix their broken ass systems, and they barely got more than a facelift.