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/vr/ - Retro Games


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File: 27 KB, 220x137, Isle of the Dead.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5849389 No.5849389 [Reply] [Original]

I'm in a really fucking bad mood. Can we talk about retro games that are genuinely awful? Not just "oh, they were experimenting in a time of limited technology" bad, but games that are genuinely, truly bad on a fundamental level.

>> No.5849419

>inb4 /v/ posts a bunch of popular retro games because LOL SO FUNNAY I TROLL U!!!

>> No.5849423

>>5849389
Ohh yeah that sounds like a great way to improve your mood. Fuck the people who come here to take out their pissy frustrations with the real world.

>> No.5849439
File: 97 KB, 800x925, 13666-isle-of-the-dead-dos-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5849439

>>5849389
The box to that game used to scare the shit out of me when I'd see it displayed at CompUSA/The Good Guys back in the day.

>> No.5849446

>>5849423
stfu retard just talk about games that are legitimately bad or shut the fuck up

>> No.5849453

>>5849446
How about no and no. Stop shitting up my board because you can't handle how you fucked up.

>> No.5849490
File: 127 KB, 800x1029, 12415-isle-of-the-dead-dos-front-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5849490

>>5849439
I think I only ever saw this variant whenever I went shopping there. Even back then I was pretty skeptical about the quote on the front.

>> No.5849509

>>5849389
Let's make a good remake of that in GZDoom, like the guys who made a good version of Operation Body Count.

>> No.5849580

>>5849389
TekWar?

>> No.5849594

>>5849453
How are you any different? shitting up your own board because you fuck up? it's too ironic for me.

>> No.5849631

>>5849594
Lol nice pedals.

>> No.5849875

>>5849509
How about a remake of Tek War while we're at it?

>> No.5849881

>>5849875
How about a remake of shut your fucking piehall you fat wastoid fuck.

>> No.5849896

>>5849875
BUILD source is available, knock yourself out

>> No.5850785
File: 31 KB, 537x768, Blood 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5850785

>>5849389
Blood 2 is pretty thoroughly atrocious to me:
>full of bugs and problems, feels like driving an old beat up car and you're afraid it's going to break down any moment or have a raging engine fire
>terrible, TERRIBLE design ideas
>levels recycled repeatedly, really fucking boring and drawn out levels
>a retarded damage scaling system where any and all weapons may do anything from normal damage to dramatically low damage, meaning that even with a shotgun you might find yourself shooting a low tier mook a dozen times before he dies, and more powerful weapons with limited ammo may just do shit damage just because, combat is *grotesquely unsatisfying* as a result
>transposing the setting from the interesting early 20th century gothic America from the first game to the generic sci-fi everyone was fucking doing at the time
>annoying fucking enemies which are made worse by how shit weapons are thanks to the stupid damage scaling
>plot is fucking retarded and gay, lots of fucking continuity errors for the first game and everything is just really lame

The game is partially what it is because GT Interactive booted the game out the door after a very brief time of development and Monolith telling them it's not at all finished, but looking at just the concepts themselves I just can't imagine that it would have been a good game if they had gotten the time to finish it.
It's just so incredibly BAD on just the conceptual level, it's truly a Kusoge for the ages.

>> No.5850791

>>5850785
>Kusoge
It's not a good game, but does not qualify as kusoge, these have to be on a complete different level of bad.

>> No.5850797

>>5849490
>>5849389
>>5849439
>Upon its initial release, Isle of the Dead received negative reviews, and it was compared to Wolfenstein 3D.[1][4][3] Sandy Petersen, writing for Dragon in their "Eye of the Monitor" column, gave the game zero out of five stars in the magazine's rating scale, advising readers to avoid playing it.[1]
https://annarchive.com/files/Drmg206.pdf

This comes from the guy who worked at iD Software and did half of the levels, mind.
Both Doom and Isle Of The Dead released December 1993, it must have been interesting to have just finished your work on by then the absolute peak of FPS, and then look at one that's just abhorrently bad.

>> No.5850798

>>5850791
How so? The Japanese think of Shadowgate as a classic kusoge and that's because they got a dogshit translation that doesn't make any sense.

>> No.5850801

>>5850797
>and did half of the levels
*half of the levels on Doom

>> No.5850810

>>5850798
It's still somewhat playable. Many kusoge are not.

>> No.5850815
File: 48 KB, 300x225, Tongue.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5850815

>>5849389
Something I don't get about this game is that it actually has some passable art in the game itself, but they decided to go with this low-effort cover for the box art.

>> No.5850823

>>5850815
You just can't appreciate true art.

>> No.5851340
File: 129 KB, 550x280, heavynova.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5851340

I dare you to post a game that controls worse and have worst hitboxes than Heavy Nova

>> No.5851378

>>5849389
We're here to talk. What's the matter? Did you finally realize how pathetic your life is?

>> No.5851551

>>5849439
Pussy

>> No.5851587

>>5851378
>we're here to talk
No we're not. Take your offtopic blog shit to discord or something.

>> No.5851725
File: 48 KB, 300x379, spud_box_cover__medium.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5851725

Spud! I've finished this piece of garbage yesterday... the puzzles are ridiculous. The original developers have lost the source code.

>> No.5851729

>>5851587
stfu
>>5851378
there's still some people here

>> No.5851753

>>5849419
>inb4 /VR/ posts about new games being bad and old obscure games good because IM A HIPSTER LOLZ

>> No.5851836

>>5849875
>>5849580
Man, y'know, before Civvie 11 played this game, no one knew about it, and now its in every thread.

It's almost like people spend more time watching youtubers rather than playing games.

>>5849389
As for my submission OP, Zelda 2 for the town segments. Some people hurt you as they walk by, but there's no way to know which ones they are, so now you just try to jump over everyone just in case.
Also, with that, half of them had nothing important to say, nothing majorly helpful. I'm not gonna say it was cryptic, because some people did have something useful to say, but it wasn't often.

The leveling system is dumb because eventually you have to grind and grind and grind just to get to the next level in order to upgrade attributes. Certain items helped, but otherwise, you were going to spend a lot of time trying to farm the random encounters and castles so you could make it happen, otherwise you really needed to get good, and have fun with that in certain areas.

The random encounters were an annoying idea as well, made only for the experience system for the leveling.
Most of the random encounters in the over world are the same few encounters that get maybe 1 or 2 new enemies in there, and for some time it can be fun. I'd say the first little bit with the blobs was cool, then there were the spear-chuckers, and then sometimes you'd get those hopping birds, etc.
And then in Castles you'd have the same enemies by and large in every castle.The knights, the foxes that either tried to stab you or throw boomerangs, or the skeletons, etc.

Just didn't feel very well thought out. I can still have fun with it, and it has it's moments, but these are some gripes of mine.

>> No.5851846

>>5851836
I knew about TekWar and always thought it was a trash game. It kinda hurts to say, too, because I love Shatner.

>> No.5851886

>>5851846
I don't believe you, and maybe you're telling the truth, but the fact that we've had these threads on /vr/ for a long time and I've never seen it mentioned before makes me think otherwise, not only about you, but about the general userbase.

I hope you don't find this offensive, I just don't believe it because I haven't seen it mentioned here until after Civvie 11 played it. Otherwise, it'd probably be a general cult classic of bad gaming, much like other titles I never see mentioned here like:
Killing Time
Disruptor
PO'ed (It's funny for the fact that you kill waddling asses, but it wasn't that good a game. I do see it mentioned in Sony threads, though not often anymore)
Zero Tolerance (It was cool, but mighty shit)
Testament
CyClones

>> No.5851941

>>5851886
You're a paranoid fuck who's spent too much time on the internet.

>> No.5851943

>>5851886
Killing Time isn't THAT bad, man.

>> No.5852442

It's like puking on a pile of shit, what were they thinking?! And I am NOT making this up.

>> No.5852447

>>5849389
>>5849439
>>5849490
Anyone have the comic that was included with the game?

>> No.5852619

>>5851941
You're just pissy I've been here long enough to call that out. But by all means, start telling me things Civvie didn't say as to why it sucks.

>>5851943
I don't think any game with FMV stuffs is really acceptable outside of a handful of JRPGs or RTS games where it's just a cinematic. It was neat in Killing Time, but it didn't work that amazingly.

>> No.5852632
File: 130 KB, 594x793, Grishnakh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5852632

>>5849453
>my board

>> No.5852636
File: 1.57 MB, 435x250, NeglectedPassionateHamadryas-size_restricted.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5852636

>>5851836
>It's almost like people spend more time watching youtubers rather than playing games
I don't know who that is

>> No.5852641

>>5852619
>You're just pissy I've been here long enough to call that out. But by all means, start telling me things Civvie didn't say as to why it sucks.
Who is this Civvie you keep jizzing about?

>> No.5852647

>>5849389
Real talk, I just marathoned bits and pieces of a couple YouTube videos of gameplay from this and it looked kino. What am I missing?

>> No.5852672
File: 17 KB, 267x373, ET_Atari_2600.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5852672

How 'bout this particular gem of horrible game design and execution...

>> No.5852797

>>5851886
You're a paranoid fag.

>>5852619
We can never have opinions on games if someone ever made a YouTube video about them, got it.

>> No.5852809

>>5850785
Blood 2 should have been in 1950/60s instead of the year 2028

>> No.5852817
File: 41 KB, 500x500, 1565829241268.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5852817

>>5851836
>Man, y'know, before Civvie 11 played this game, no one knew about it, and now its in every thread.
Sure.That's definitely how it happened

>> No.5852819

>>5851886
Weird cunt

>> No.5852820

>>5852647
>What am I missing?
Playing it yourself.

>> No.5852906

>>5851886
Fuck you. Fuck yourself with a cactus then neck yourself. asswhole

>> No.5852924

>>5851886
All these are pretty fun, some unique designs and features.

I'm currently working to port over PO'ed to Unity.

>> No.5852932

Depth Dwellers is a really bad one, it's like Wolfenstein 3D but really boring and monotonous.

>>5852647
Not much. The cartoons are alright, but the gameplay is balls.

>>5851886
Zero Tolerance is ok.

>> No.5852934

>>5852809
It also should have been a completely different kind of game.
It's a marvel that most of the game isn't good even conceptually, it's never really "This is an alright or good idea, it's just done badly.", it's mostly "Jesus, why did you think this would be a good idea?"

>> No.5852940

>>5852672
I dislike when people are ET Apologists and are all "Ackshually this game is a masterpiece!", but I also dislike the myth of this game being one of the worst ever, because it just isn't.

It's not good, but it's not an atrocity, it's fairly ambitious for what it is, but it's frustrating and dull.
If the programmer got more time to actually finish it, it'd probably have been remembered as a just mediocre game.

>> No.5852941

>>5852934
You know the development history if B2, that pretty much explains it.

>> No.5853045

>>5852817
>>5852797
>>5852641
>>5852636

Man, so this is what it felt like when people were parroting egoraptor's shit too, eh?
Nice to see it's still in full swing.

>>5852797
Nah, you can have your own opinions, but take a look at how I put my gripes about Zelda 2 out there vs what the previous posters did.
I put out what made concepts in my opinion were bad about it. And I still enjoy Zelda 2, it's not an all around bad game, but those are some pretty glaring problems for me.
Someone else comes out with an opinion on why other games were bad, cool, by all means, but I can assure you most people here haven't played Tek War and wouldn't have played Tek War or even known about it until after a Youtuber brought it up.
Same dance that was done when AVGN talked about certain games, MetalJesusRocks, etc etc etc. Civvie is quickly growing popularity at the moment, he'll have 100K subs soon enough, and he plays niche games that pander to this board.
Even I watch him and genuinely enjoy his videos. Doesn't mean I spend my time parroting his opinions though.
Same goes for other youtubers. They can be a bounty of knowledge (sometimes) and good/bad jokes. Doesn't mean I necessarily agree with them, but I can dig it.

>> No.5853065

>>5853045
If you liked Super Castlevania you parroted AVGN, if you hated Super Castlevania you parroted Egoraptor.

People like you are tumors on legs.

>> No.5853068

>>5852940
People exaggerate it's badness because of the effect it had.

>> No.5853074

>>5853068
The effect it had was exaggerated too, ET wasn't the only game which was a bad decision, it was a shit business deal and they made way too many, which sucked for Atari, but they also had the habit of making way too many fucking copies out of genuinely good games and games which sold really well.
Pac-Man was their best selling 2600 game ever, and they STILL made too many goddamn cartridges.

ET didn't doom Atari, Atari's incredibly bad business sense did, and the legendary landfill was in fact excess stock of all kinds, including home computers and good games, shit they couldn't afford to keep in storage anymore because they were losing so much money.

>> No.5853084
File: 24 KB, 333x318, qbert_crash.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5853084

>>5853074
I think one of the bigger factors of the crash was oversaturation of the market

>> No.5853103

>>5853084
Yeah, way too many options, way too much garbage, and no real good way for consumers to inform themselves.

>> No.5853831

>>5853065
Not what I said, but nice job missing the point.

>> No.5853865

>>5853831
I was more describing your mentality.

>> No.5853876

>>5849389
I fucking wanted IotD to be so much cooler than it was. The concept was super meta. The execution was so fucking garbage.

>> No.5853889

>>5853876
I like the idea of combining an FPS with a point and click adventure.
But yeah, it's just so AWFULLY done.

>> No.5853928

>>5853889
I really like it. It's like my favourite combination of things, and I love fps-hybrids like Jurassic Park on the SNES, this game was just a mess of all the worst the first person perspective had to offer.

>> No.5854513

>>5851836
>Zelda 2 for the town segments. Some people hurt you as they walk by, but there's no way to know which ones they are, so now you just try to jump over everyone just in case.
There was that lady who turned into a bat and....?

>> No.5854565

>>5854513
And that’s pretty much it. I have no idea what he’s talking about and I did 100% play through of Z2 last winter. Also, the townspeople only turn into bats in one town and only if you talk to them, plus it’s not all of them, just a few randomly chosen ones.

>> No.5854720

>>5853074
that explaons why the ET landfill had more then just ET

>> No.5855052

>>5853865
Not really close, either.
But again, nice job missing the point with bonus false ad hom.

>> No.5855429
File: 9 KB, 320x200, isle-of-the-dead_31.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5855429

>>5849389
What the hell was this part?

>> No.5855545

75% of Amiga games qualify for "worst game ever made".

>> No.5855549

>>5853084
>no PC port
There was an official port of Q*Bert in glorious CGA graphics.

>> No.5855550

I'm bewildered that there was no Apple II port of Q*Bert when it seems to have been on every system ever. Though I wouldn't doubt they had one planned and it got cancelled because the video game crash fucked over Parker Bros.

>> No.5856074

>>5849389
Xenogears is the definition of this

>> No.5856087

>>5856074
Shut your mouth whore.

>> No.5856241

>>5849453
Fuck off, it's a legit topic you spaz

>> No.5856243

>>5850785
It's pretty bad when thinking about what it should have been, but it's still somewhat alright to play through.

>> No.5856249

>>5851340
At least the final boss theme is pretty nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Ct0uL73fc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVhCPn38LRo

>> No.5856254
File: 109 KB, 220x220, Bubsy_3D.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5856254

>>5851340

>> No.5856269

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2PYmO1VLAc

SQIJ. The single worst most unplayable piece of shit ever produced.

>> No.5856289

>>5856269
This was written in BASIC. Give them a break.

>> No.5856323

>>5856289
It was originally unplayable due to a bug that caused the game to not properly interpret keyboard inputs.

>> No.5856402

>>5856289
Dude, fucking LOOK at it.

>> No.5856418

>>5856402
No, fuck off

>> No.5856437

>>5856269
>>5856289
I found the story to this trash heap:
https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2017-01-22-the-story-behind-the-worst-game-ever-made

The publishers were stupid faggots who wanted a port of the game from C64 to ZX Spectrum, and they hire a literal kid to do it, but don't give the boy any of the shit he needs to do the job he was hired to do, and he has to browbeat them into even providing him a copy of the game while they breathe down his neck for not getting it done. And more.

So you're right, the lad did his best under the retarded circumstances he found himself in, it's plain and simply the publisher's fault for not even trying to meet him half way.

>> No.5856438

>>5856437
that's such a load of bullshit, I hope kid gets older and beats the unholy shit out of them

>> No.5856440

>>5856437
It's more than you will ever achieve in your life.

>> No.5856446

>>5849389
Fun fact:
The guy who did the art for this game had a YouTube animation channel that apparently did pretty well.
He's also deceased now.

>> No.5856470
File: 2 KB, 96x116, 1567306469316.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5856470

>>5856440

>> No.5856471

>>5856446
yeah, Myk Friedman, he was a nice guy. He autographed my copy of the game in 2010.

>> No.5856473

>>5856446
That's a shame, the cartoon visuals were the best part of the game. Do you have a link to his channel?

>> No.5856510

>>5856473
Yeah, it's definitely sad. He was pretty young, too. Here's the channel:
youtube.com/user/toonsmyth
>>5856471
That's cool. I was surprised to see that the game was made in Dallas. I've never actually played the game, just watched a small bit on YouTube, but the couple of enemy animations that I've seen from it were funny and well done.

>> No.5857041

>>5852447
If in the comic there is that chick I want to read it too.

>> No.5857045
File: 163 KB, 800x935, 47638-isle-of-the-dead-dos-back-cover.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5857045

>>5857041
Hnnnggg

>> No.5858372

In this thread people that watch AVGN and emulate if they retrogame at all.

>> No.5858574

>>5858372
Yeah, remember the Isle Of The Dead episode of AVGN? Or when he did an episode on the ZX Spectrum? That was the good old diarrhea taint smear

>> No.5858637
File: 17 KB, 320x233, 2363116-snes_addamsfamilyvalues_2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858637

This piece of fucking shit. I'm in a shit mood to so I'll vent.

This fuckin game. This MOTHER FUCKING game. It'll make you wish you were playing Festers Quest. I don't even know where to start. I've just completed it after 13 and a half hours, and thats using walkthroughs and Youtube videos as a reference.

I'll start from the beginning. So you play as Fester on a quest to save Pubert the baby. You start in a forest area with a few of the other Addams. Immediately the first dungeon you are expected to go to is hidden cryptically behind some big ass trees. This is a common occurence. By the way if you didn't talk to Gomez to obtain the map (which is called a fucking journal in this game) then you have literally missed out on the map for the entire game. However don't worry, because the map is literally fucking useless. It shows a collection of boxes kind of like a Zelda dungeon map, however sometimes you move from one screen to the next and it doesn't change your location on the map. Sometimes it shows an exit where there isn't one etc. There are no landmarks or any detail on the map, just squares, and the game is about the same size as Link to the past.

That can't be so bad right? I'll just memorize where I'm going and where I've been. Oh but wait, there's also barely any distinguishable landmarks in the gamd either. Meaning you could be in a Swamp area on the complete West or East side of the map, and they'll both look like the same fucking area. This is repeated ten fold. These swamp areas are the worst for it, everything looks exactly the same and the areas are pretty big. I often spent half hour just trying to find my fucking way back out.

So anyway you go in the first dungeon and face the first boss. You start with 3 skulls which are your health bar. You know how in Zelda when if you have the Master Sword and full hearts you can shoot beams? (continued below)

>> No.5858664
File: 5 KB, 256x224, 40522-addams-family-values-genesis-screenshot-area-map.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858664

>>5858637
Well now imagine if Link started with the Master Sword, but if he ever went below full health he loses his attack completely. Even if he has 13 hearts and loses just a quarter of one, he has no attack. Because that's effectively what happens in this game. You don't actually lose your attack altogether however it renders it so useless that to hit anything you literally have to stand ontop of it and lose more health in the process. The damage is also halved as soon as you lose health.

Well OK, I'll just make sure to not lose any health... NO. FUCK YOU. Fester moves way slower than ALL of the enemys so any of them can effectively hit you whenever they feel like it just by walking into you. Nothing dies in a single hit, in fact everything takes about 5 hits to kill. Many of the enemies shoot unavoidable projectiles because you can't move quick enough out the way even knowing its coming. Sometimes you'll walk into a room only for the screen to fade in and you're being gang raped by enemies before the game even allows you to move. At one point I entered a room, quickly paused the game to do something, and as soon as I came back and unpaused I died. I didnt even see what hit me.

Well ok carry health at all times. OH WAIT. For some reason health is like gold dust in this game. You can only restore your health using Grannys cookies, which you get two of at the start. I think you can collect more of them after every dungeon (there's 7 in the game) however Granny moves all over the fucking map and finding her may take literal hours. If you are stuck on low health, you NEED to search for her as well. So lets say you've just beaten a dungeon and you need some health. Well now you have to traverse the entire fucking map that all looks exactly the same, getting very lost in the process, and probably just taking damage and dying. Oh and also if you don't beat the next dungeon (and everything between) with just those two cookies, you are completely fucked. (Cont below)

>> No.5858698
File: 37 KB, 540x471, gfs_47060_2_12_mid.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858698

>>5858664
Because you now to have to face an entire dungeon and a boss with no health. And you need FULL HEALTH going in to every boss fight or you're going to die.

More on Festers attack. He has force fucking lightning. It's not a projectile, it stems from his hand. As mentioned previously it's pretty useless anyway, but it gets worse. First of all you can't move when you attack, and an attack takes about a second. So if you ever miss an attack (you will), you are now stood still for a moment and will get raped. It comes out of his right hand, meaning the beam is ALWAYS on his far right side, meaning if an enemy is directly ahead of you then you won't hit them. You have to line yourself up slightly to the left of every enemy. Extremely often you'll find yourself in a thin corridor with no space to move left or right. If an enemy joins you in this corridor (and they will because they are everywhere) you can't hit them, because they are directly ahead of you! You have to fucking backtrack and wait for the enemy to leave, if it even does. Most the time I just accepted damage and tried to run past with the invincibility frames... BUT THEY EVEN FUCKED THAT UP! When you get hit you get knocked back, by the time you walk forward again the invincibility has ran out and you get knocked back again.

There's no rhyme or reason to any of the items or keys. You can obtain projectiles later in the game that are less effective than the starting attack because they freeze you in place while the projectile flies. WHAT THE FUXK!! Also they do no more damage than the normal attack, so what's the fucking point.

The items consist of various random bullshit that you have to use in an incredibly cryptic manner. Someone is trapped in a bubble, and that means you have to use the strange black cube to free them. Someone has indigestion, so you have to throw green slime at them. It is never hinted that this is the case. (Cont below)

>> No.5858714
File: 144 KB, 1024x884, Big Ben pinball 1975.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858714

>>5849389
Big Ben is probably the worst pinball machine of its era, if not all time. It's so empty, it makes you wonder if it was made of leftover parts or something

>> No.5858731
File: 63 KB, 540x471, gfs_47060_2_11_mid.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858731

>>5858698
The keys have no relevance to the doors that they open. For example the crystal key will open a stone door. The twig key will open a metal gate. The spider key opens a cliff face door. There's no mention of spiders UNTIL you're already inside. So just use every key on every door. By the way you can only equip one item at once, be it a key or weapon or special item, and it takes about 15/20 seconds just to open up the pause menu, swap the item, and unpause the game.

Some items are essential to the game and you won't be able to continue later without them, effectively giving you a game over. However some kill you, so good luck trying to work out which is which because the game never fucking tells you. Before the final boss of the game you are told you need to take a black egg to throw at the boss to kill it. If you take this black egg it blows up and takes away half of your health! I didn't do that because I was using a guide but come the fuck on!!!

Dying means losing AT LEAST a good half hour of gameplay. If you die at the boss at the end of a dungeon, you have to go aaallll the way back to the start of the dungeon. So to even learn the boss patterns you have to complete the dungeon multiple times. And these aren't zelda dungeons, these are broken dungeons. Often there are inaccessible areas and items. There are 14 obtainable health upgrades in the game, however one is behind a wall that the devs forgot to program a way to get to! Meaning you can't fill your health bar to max skulls ever!

The schtick with all of the dungeons is teleportation, kind of like that pokemon gym where you have to use the teleporters to find the gym leader. But in this game, some will let you progress and some will take you back to the start of the dungeon. Some will even throw you half hour across the fucking map if you're unlucky. (Cont below)

>> No.5858765
File: 99 KB, 480x339, snes-addams-family-values-back.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5858765

>>5858731
Some of these teleporters will take you to a unique room where there's an item you NEED to collect or you can't continue later. Some will flat out fuck you over. As with the items and keys, there's no way of knowing which is which beforehand.

There are also switches in this game. I'm actually pretty convinced someone at Gamefreak played this piece of shit because the switch mechanic is also in one of the gyms. In this game you could be in a room with 5 switches and you have to press them all in a very specific order. Lets say 1st one then 4th then 3rd then 5th then second. There are no hints that this is the case. Anyone in their right mind would press the switches that do nothing and move the fuck on. Considering other areas are unfinished it's easy to assume this is the case here too. And guess what, there actually is a load of switches that do literally nothing as well. So you have no idea what the fuck is right or wrong in this game.

It feels like the devs had big ambitions for this game but they were rushed, hence why items are left unusable, keys make no sense, and there are no clues in the game. It's like they built this vast land with lots to do, but then had to release the game before they could add any clues. Like literally you are never ever told what you are meant to be doing. All you can do is walk aimlessly around a map that takes an hour to traverse and look for things you missed out on, but there aren't any. Then you look up a walkthrough and it turns out you have to use the music box to kill a random ghost then travel half hour north to press three switches in a specific order, enter 5 specific teleporters in a row, and then travel to some other completely unrelated place and use the baby rattle on a frogs asshole.

Fuck this fucking game. I could go on but I don't wanna completely hijack this thread lol.

>> No.5858776

>>5858731
>Some items are essential to the game and you won't be able to continue later without them, effectively giving you a game over. However some kill you, so good luck trying to work out which is which because the game never fucking tells you. Before the final boss of the game you are told you need to take a black egg to throw at the boss to kill it. If you take this black egg it blows up and takes away half of your health! I didn't do that because I was using a guide but come the fuck on!!!

this made me laugh hard

>> No.5858790

>>5858776
To be fair this game sounds like Shadowgate.

>> No.5858830

>>5852932
>Zero Tolerance is ok

Not really, I'd be willing to give it a second chance but it seemed like some okay ideas that end up being not fun in practice, and the hardware just wasn't up to what they were trying to do. It's not hilariously bad like what this thread is meant for though, except for maybe trying to play an fps with a genesis pad, that is pretty much hilarious

>> No.5858832

>>5853045

The fag you're talking about doesn't even have 100k subs? Get a grip on reality. No one gives a fuck.

>> No.5858870

>>5858714
It seems remarkably barren and underdesigned.
When I think pinball, I think Twilight Zone, Addam's Family, Elvira, Space Cadet, or some of the NES or SNES games, there's art and features that make them come alive.

But this table looks as boring as a plain cheese pizza; where's the meat and vegetables?

>> No.5858889

>>5858830
Oh fuck off. Played it when it was new, loved it.

>> No.5858892

>>5858870
Sorry you only played on newer electromechanical tables, pleb.

>> No.5858940

>>5858892
>I bet you never drove a Ford Model T

>> No.5858984

>>5856471
Bet you sucked his dick too

>> No.5859000

>>5858984
I'm jealous that he got to sick his dick.

>> No.5860387

>>5849419
Where is the fun is shitting on games everyone already shits on?

>> No.5860450

>>5860387
Is it that fun to shit on a game that's generally liked just because people disagree?

>> No.5860474

>>5860387
Getting fun out of shitting on a game other people like is pure and 100% trolling. That's not good.

>> No.5860527

>>5858984
Who mistreated you as a child?

>> No.5861024

welcome to hell
https://w.atwiki.jp/gcmatome/pages/2599.html

>> No.5861156

>>5858765
I appreciated your review

>> No.5861346

>>5851836
I spend more time watching youtubers than playing and researching abject shit games yeah.

>> No.5861556

>>5851886
You're fucking retarded if you think that a board filled with autists who know every game made with the Build Engine, only heard of TekWar from some no-name YouTube e-celeb that you like to name drop.

>> No.5861845

>>5861024
What's the context and importance here?
Most of us can't read that.

>> No.5861851

>>5861845
Most of us can use google translate, you should too.

>> No.5861857

>>5861556
this. the pantheon of build engine games has been known and understood for anyone that was a fan of anything more obscure than duke3d.

>> No.5861868

Wait until some up and coming eceleb does a video on Mars 3D and calls it a dogshit game, and how we'll all be posers when calling it bad.

These people have worms in their brains.

>> No.5862062

>>5861024
Did you notice a trend. Most of these are JRPGs.

>> No.5863786

Bump good thread

>> No.5863792

>>5858637
I had that growing up, literally impossible to beat without instructions.
It did have this eerie atmosphere nailed though, so it almost felt natural that it seemed impossible to progress.

>> No.5863802

>>5850785
wow thats a hell of a box art edition for that game.

>> No.5863813

>>5851725
lol why did you beat it if it's so bad

>> No.5864490
File: 566 KB, 1920x1080, 1496514293860.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5864490

>>5863802
It does have that going for it.
The first game had a pretty simple and low key boxart that I like a lot.

>> No.5865189
File: 141 KB, 800x800, 261345-spawn-the-eternal-playstation-front-cover.png.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5865189

I will never not post this absolute piece of garbage, easily the worst game I've ever owned. Wholesome or light-hearted bad games can kinda get away with being crap, but there's something dirty and even depressing about playing an edgy bad game, especially a /vr/ one...

>> No.5865330

>>5851551
Weird reaction but okay.

>> No.5865342

>>5851886
As someone who just learned about Tekwar from the Doom thread a couple days ago, I don't think it's that far fetched. I didn't really get into retrofps until recently, but if I did I'm sure I would've looked up the history of the Build engine at some point to see Tekwar as one of the first games to utilize it.