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/vr/ - Retro Games

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5489605 No.5489605 [Reply] [Original]

You are an NPC in a JRPG. The heroes approach you, eager to listen to the tidbit of knowledge or gossip you have to offer!
What do you say to them?

>> No.5489607

"What on earth is a Indian elephant?"

>> No.5489608

I want to fuck that moguri

>> No.5489609

To save your progress, open the menu and select 「SAVE」.

>> No.5489610

>>5489605
*sclonk weed*
You're the real NPC, man
*+30 to nihilism*

>> No.5489616

"Play on active and the fastest battle speed and no automatic retargeting or ur a fagit"

>> No.5489618

>>5489605
Sup nigger

>> No.5489628

>>5489605
Probably something like
>You are an NPC in a JRPG. The heroes approach you, eager to listen to the tidbit of knowledge or gossip you have to offer!
>What do you say to them?

>> No.5489631

pull my finger

>> No.5489636

>be an npc that it's mandatory to talk to
>have the longest possible name an NPC can have
>say a long string of rambling, timewasting dialogue, that gets typed up in the text box in staggered reveals
>finish by saying "Would you like me to repeat that? Yes No"
Eat shit speedrunners

>> No.5489637
File: 1.57 MB, 1050x1450, 7e294e377d286ab2839b09e248cf63f3af8a8c27.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5489637

>>5489605
pick one for lulz -
https://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

Also, no cheap chinese nutcrackers, Vivi. Kupo nuts demand the best.

>> No.5489638

>>5489605
But thou must!

>> No.5489654

>>5489605
my daughter needs medicine

>> No.5489659

"why were you guys standing in the corner of the hotel lobby for two days?"

>> No.5489661

Me, in the Inn: You're best friend is out there. Go talk to him, fag
Guy outside: He meant irl fag LOL

>> No.5489667

>Unironically playing jarpigs? Costanza face dot jay pee gee!

>> No.5489671

>>5489605
Locations of secrets and easter eggs. But I say the sentences backwards with the words scrambled. I'm also a drunk living in a shack in the woods.

>Utosh hte in veatrn het fo iarst hte nured seabtnem eth ni yee aprnhtes het seu.

>> No.5489676

"..." and if the player character repeatedly talks to me 10 times I say "go away"

>> No.5489702

This town isn't what it used to be. [Press A]

Did you know that despite making up only 13% of the population black people commit 50% of all crime? [Press A]

I always thought that was interesting. [End]

>> No.5489717

>>5489605
"dude, I'm so glad I don't need to risk my fucking life out there like you guys. Oh well, back to fapping and playing video games for me I guess. See ya."

>> No.5489721

>>5489636
>not "No, Yes"

>> No.5489732

>>5489605
Why do you keep talking to the little girl characters, anon? And why do they always say "tee-hee", suggesting that they're being naughty??

>> No.5489736

>>5489637
cool site.

I'm glad that nr. 23 isn't true in either case when looking at FF6. Sabin just vanished and Edgar wanted to reunite. Sabin isn't female and Edgar never was or will be a villain.

>> No.5489742

>>5489636
>defaults to yes so anyone spamming A will click it
absolutely devilish

>> No.5489756

>>5489736
That page has been around since 4chan was still a toddler, if not later. One of my faves.

>> No.5489757

>>5489717
>you're in the town that gets burned down by the antagonist or destroyed by a tidal wave
"Damn, sad to see all these dead NPCs but at least the devs put in a little comic relief with this nerd who drowned fapping in his room"

>> No.5489816
File: 786 B, 38x52, whitemagevictory.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5489816

"Are you hurt? Here, I think I have a healing potion in my purse..."
The party was healed!

>> No.5489860 [DELETED] 

>>5489816
Are you a tranny?

>> No.5489868

>>5489860
>being this new

>> No.5489897

Welcome to Corneria.

>> No.5489903

>>5489721
thatsthejoke.jpg

>> No.5489964

>>5489605
"I used to play this game and made fun of the NPCs, until that stupid wizard made me one, kill it so I can be free"

>> No.5489979

"You ever notice there aren't any toilets anywhere at all?"

>> No.5490020

>If you want to know how to trick a fool ask my brother in the next town
>If you want to know how to trick a fool ask my brother in the previous town

>> No.5490038

>>5489638
Hey hc Bailey

>> No.5490060

>>5489757
that was actually funny to read.
but you know what? I'll be the dude who fled before that shit even happens and then the adventurers find me in the next town so I can tell them about fapping and vidya yet again while blaming them for even letting the destruction happen.

>> No.5490089

"I'm so lonely. I just moved here 4 months ago and I haven't made a single new friend. It's like I'm invisible or something. If just one person was willing to talk to me 1000 times, I'd do anything to repay the favor."

The only way to get the best weapon in the game is to talk to me. The dialogue doesn't update either, so you don't actually know how far along you are.

>> No.5490109

>I'm the secret NPC! Send a photo of me to watashishinda@compuserve.com and get a fabulous prize!

>> No.5490150

>>5489605
>I saw you were talking to everyone else in town. Are you trying to sell me something?!

>> No.5490159

>>5489964
This one is great.

>> No.5490168

"It'll be dark by nightfall."

>> No.5490314

"you don't have a piece of straw with you, do you? no? good. you have better things to be doing."

>> No.5490332

>>5489605
Welcome to Corneria!

>> No.5490339
File: 97 KB, 634x485, 1547572995267.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5490339

>>5489702

>> No.5490371

>>5490332
I like swords

>> No.5490378

>>5490371
Welcome to Corneria!

>> No.5490382

>>5489605
Welcome to /v/!

>> No.5490383

>>5489605
Do I get to choose my sprite? I want to be a cute 16-bit girl with cleavage that shakes it a little when spoken to, saying, "Tee-hee, you're cute, Hero!", so that anon can masturbate to me.

>> No.5490405

>>5489605
The hero never responds so all he's getting is a "..."

>> No.5490432

I am error

>> No.5490436 [DELETED] 

>>5489860
Like literally why does it even matter? I'm a woman, full stop

>> No.5490460 [DELETED] 
File: 112 KB, 1000x850, IMG_4590.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5490460

>>5490436
>he furiously types as his hulking ogre body quivers in rage

>> No.5490512 [DELETED] 
File: 315 KB, 659x960, __poison_final_fight_drawn_by_34no404__d28c606c4e72ea005ce45a0060e143f7.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5490512

>>5490460
Nope. I'm a cute retro videogame tranner like Poison. :p

>> No.5490516 [DELETED] 

>>5490512
We have yet to see any proof of this, despite your claims.

>> No.5490527

>>5489605
"Why would anyone shota a man before throwing him off a plane?"

>> No.5490532 [DELETED] 

>>5490516
I think he posted a picture of himself in the gaming sins thread.

>> No.5490567 [DELETED] 

>>5490532
Negative on that one.

>> No.5490773

>>5490382
>/v/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ew97jJgAnw

>> No.5490791

>>5489605
>creep. get the fuck out of here before i call the cops

>> No.5490795

>>5489605
friendly reminder that your gay roleplaying threads aren't retro

>> No.5490803

>>5489897
Came here to post this.

>> No.5490808

I like pants. They're got pockets and keep your legs warm.

>> No.5490812

I heard that if you give a silver bell to the man standing outside the inn that something interesting will happen.

>> No.5490835

"Look up the Lavon Affair."

>> No.5490893

>>5489654
That sounds really sad. What's the background of this npc?

>> No.5490909

>>5489605
>What do you say to them?
"Stop wasting your life on jarpigs and play a real game."

>> No.5490925

Something scary will happen after you go to bed tonight. [Message only appears once and is afterwards replaced by generic dialogue]

>> No.5490960

Data has been corrupted. Please turn the console OFF.

>> No.5490973

"I keep trying to explain to people that gold is too soft and heavy to make viable armor, but nobody will listen."

>> No.5490983

>>5489605
Dost thou love me?
>No
But thou must! OR "You don't find me sexy!?" if I was translated by RPGOne

>> No.5491005

I make a vague hint about a town that's on the complete opposite side of the world from where they're supposed to go. It's also a game with frequent random encounters. Have fun.

>> No.5491030 [SPOILER] 
File: 52 KB, 370x400, 1554819505524.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5491030

>What do you say to them?
私が町長です

>> No.5491039

>>5489605
"The were-hamsters outside town are becoming more and more of a nuisance."

>> No.5491048

Sometimes I wonder what the point of living is. Hang in there, buddy.

>> No.5491050
File: 359 KB, 1200x800, 1200px-Elephas_maximus_(Bandipur).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5491050

>>5489607
kek

>> No.5491435

>>5489636
I'll do you one better. Said NPC is also a master of disguise and occasionally disguises as key story related figures that you'd otherwise have to speak to, in order to advance the plot

>> No.5491529

stay a while and listen.

>> No.5491535

>>5490909
Fuckin this

>> No.5491570

>>5489605
"Hey, welcome to town! I've been wondering lately how unlikely it seems that over six million prisoners could possibly be executed and cremated during a massive war where supplies and resources are limited. But why would anyone lie about that? Maybe if they had a FIRE ROD like the one in the WIZARD'S CRYPT to the EAST, but nobody who goes ever comes back alive... Oh! Don't mind me!"

>> No.5492039

>>5491570
Hast thou ever heard the riddle of the thirteen who do fifty?

>> No.5492051

>>5491030
watashi ga butterfry

>> No.5492132

>>5489605

"You can't change your gender, or your sex. Only crossdress and mutilate yourself. Only insane people do that."

>> No.5492139
File: 21 KB, 150x160, 1376183315343.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5492139

>>5490020

>> No.5492160

"Do you need me to repeat all that?'

>yes no

"I'll repeat myself then."

>> No.5492341

>>5489605
I've grown bored living with mom and tending to animals here. She wants me to continue the legacy, but thats not my passion. You see, i always wanted to go all over the world and be an adventurer, so i decided to leave soon. (Shhhh.... She doesn't know about it, and if she did it would dissappoint her, so i didnt tell her my plans, so keep it between us okay.)

!!!!!!! AW MAN ! There she is about tending to the animals again. Well, i gotta get going. see ya broskoodoo ! (Remember dont mention a thing OK)

(NPC runs off to his Mom)

>> No.5492352

>>5489605
>Get out of my house! Who do you think you are?

>> No.5492354

>>5489605
Hey uggo, don't fuckin talk to me

>> No.5492363

>>5489605
*sigh*. Times are tough.

>> No.5492590

help I am trapped and being forced to poorly localize kemco games

>> No.5492720

Hey, watch this dance!

>> No.5492724

Talk to me 99 times and I'll tell you a secret about this town.

>> No.5492750

>>5492590
I could legit see this happening in a Working Designs game.

>> No.5492915
File: 39 KB, 750x750, 1499812684187.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5492915

>>5489605
"Ass > tits"

>> No.5493082

They always attack the farmers! Why are the royal soldiers never doing something about this?

>> No.5493906

>>5489605
动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门

>> No.5494034

>>5489605
"Make sure to buy a guide, kupo! You never know what kind of things you can miss!"

>> No.5494048

This quest is for premium players only.

>> No.5494087
File: 218 KB, 400x400, AOT_Pixis.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5494087

Welcome to Nibelheim! My name is Cloud. Do you want to hear my story?

>Yes
Well, I was a handsome hero just like you, several decades ago... I did things you wouldn't believe. But no one cares anymore, and here I am today, old, bald, and trapped in this little village forever. How cool is that?!

>No
Oh... Maybe next time.

>> No.5494184

>>5489605
>What do you say to them?
"I LOVE DISMEMBERING TREES OH GOD UUNGH"

>> No.5494209

>>5489605
"...
Ah yes, my dear.
Quite pungent indeed."

>> No.5494262

"You'll remember this moment for the rest of your life."

>> No.5494270

>>5492363
D... Did I post this already or did someone else have the same idea?

>> No.5494275

Meow.

>Yes
Purr.

>No
Fssfss.

>> No.5496414

>OLD GOOD
>NEW BAD

>> No.5496434
File: 494 KB, 960x640, Dancing_Girl_agart_ffiv_ios.PNG.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5496434

>>5489605
"Do you want to see my dance?"

>> No.5496602

No problem here.

>> No.5496714

Have you heard about the Retron? My wife and I love it!

>> No.5496812

>>5489702
It really should be six percent because it's black males

>> No.5496921

Greetings, Cloud! Niggers are 13% of the population, but commit 52% of the crime!

>> No.5496924

>>5496812
Black women commit more crime than white men in every single category!

That's what I say if you talk to me twice in a row.

>> No.5496934

>>5496924
>>5496812
>thinking the police are there to protect you
>or that all crimes get reported
>or that white people are even blamed for their own crimes

>> No.5496947

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Hey.

>> No.5496957

>>5496934
Greetings, Cloud! These are all normal thoughts! These are the thoughts everyone has until they spend time with Barrett and realize it's not normal to spray your gun arm haphazardly every time you get angry!

>> No.5496983

>>5496957
That is about as cringe as political harry potter analogies

>> No.5496996

>>5496983
I fail to see how reality is cringy.

>> No.5497014

“Never fall for the Wii emulation meme.”