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/vr/ - Retro Games

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5354298 No.5354298 [Reply] [Original]

What’s his story? What did he do before he decided to fight the invading alien forces?

>> No.5354304

He got his Women's Studies degree in the University of California, Berkeley.

>> No.5354307

>>5354304
This is a joke but I could imagine an otherwise milquetoast effeminate man becoming tough when shit hits the fan and there is no choice other than be tough or die

>> No.5354318

>>5354307
that's american dream levels of delusion of freedom
in real life you're either just born a chad or a virgin and nothing you do can possibly change that

>> No.5354327

He played for the NFL and fucked new bitches every night like any respectable man.

>> No.5354362

>>5354318
I dunno man, I'm pretty Chad and pretty virgin depending on the day. For most normies it's a spectrum

>> No.5354363

>>5354298
harassing people on ventrilo

>> No.5354382

>>5354307
Women's Studies classes are what made him Duke Nukem, he realised women are dumb cunts.
>>5354362
>I'm pretty Chad and pretty virgin depending on the day.
Sounds like you're a faggot 100% of the time.

>> No.5354464

>>5354298
He kicked bubble gum and chewed ass

>> No.5354479
File: 115 KB, 580x1031, 636667408623336832-XXX-E-VER-DIE-HARD-DVD-13-1364603.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5354479

>>5354298
Every day he would open palm slam Die Hard into his VCR and pretend to be Bruce Willis, saying all his lines with perfect timing. Then he'd go outside and talk shit to everyone he met. He counted it as a victory the first time he did it without stuttering. After getting punched in the mouth he started incorporating weightlifting into his routine, making his morning "workout" into an actual workout. He got a job as a bouncer at a titty bar and spent his first paycheck on more movies. On the advice of his colleagues, he further modified his routine, watching Army of Darkness on "leg day."

A few months into his new career, the titty bar was beset by an armed robbery. With his tough guy act he managed to stall long enough for the police to arrive. The robbers were arrested, as was the owner, who had a warrant out for tax evasion. The bar was shut down. Nevertheless, one of the strippers expressed her utmost gratitude to Duke for saving her life. This was his first real conversation with a girl at age 25. It filled him with confidence, but he was also haunted by his powerlessness during the robbery itself. He began collecting guns, and practiced making pipebombs using a printout of The Anarchist's Cookbook that he'd found in a toilet stall.

t. grew up in Las Vegas

>> No.5354907

>>5354382
>Women's Studies classes are what made him Duke Nukem, he realised women are dumb cunts.
Duke genuinely fucking loves women, though. He is genuinely upset when he sees them suffering through alien torture, and he does want to "save the chicks".

>> No.5354918

>>5354298
Chewing bubblegum

did you even play this game faggot?

>> No.5355086

>>5354363
Oh my god, no! Pointer! He's starting a new thread, I got-I got chills again. Write his name down again!

>> No.5355096

>>5354382
>brings /r9k/ onto /vr/
4chan.
>>5354298
I'm like 90% sure he's just a popular playboy before alieums, isn't he?
Did he ever not fight aliens? Did he not just exit the womb swearing those alien bastards were going to pay for shooting up his ride?

>> No.5355106

>>5354363
This

>> No.5355160
File: 19 KB, 1280x960, Duke.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
5355160

>>5354298
He chilled and was a big Oprah fan. I'm surprised more people don't know this.

>> No.5355182

>>5355160
This, also Proton wasn't an alien, they debuted appeared in Duke 2 (which I think it's very much the same aliens from Duke3D).

>> No.5355453

>>5355182
Nah, the story in the Duke3D F1 help text has Duke quip 'how many alien races need their butts kicked?' or something like that. Basically in Duke 2 he goes to Rigel to fuck up the Rigelians and when he gets back to Earth in Duke3D a totally different alien invader has shown up.

>> No.5355719

>>5355160

Well to be honest Oprah was pretty edgy in the 90's

>> No.5356167

I GOT A RING IN 'ERE LAST NIGHT

>> No.5356181

>>5356167
Get off vent or I'll have you bent

>> No.5356436

>>5356181
Eat shit and die. I've got balls of steel!

>> No.5356945

You'd have to get really deep.

>> No.5357327

>>5354298
As far as I know he was in CIA when tracking down Dr. Proton, then became superstar after killing him

>> No.5357376

>>5357327
Duke 3D is what added the billionaire playboy element and movie references, isn't it?

Loved how much in duke came from they live, godly film rip

>> No.5357758

Blow it out your ass!

>> No.5357997

DROPPED YOUR THREAD?
I'M GOIN' UP IN HERE
I REALLY ENJOYED THAT

>> No.5360267

>>5355719
Missin' the joke, m8. Oprah is a thing that fat old housewives watch. It's funny to have a macho man action hero like it.