/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.4759561]

Why are modern game PR firms such fags? The style of advertising used to really speak to me and make me wana but games.

The shit we get today just fails to get me interested in what are actually decent games.

[Anonymous No.4759565]

Look at this spawn advert.

This is some heavy metal shit. It’s s awesome.

[Anonymous No.4759567]

This secret of Evermore ad might be my favorite. It’s striking, mysterious and nightmarish. The perfect balance of memorable and intriguing.

[Anonymous No.4759569]

I like how this kid’s games are warming his gooch for maximum pleasure.

[Anonymous No.4759571]

[Anonymous No.4759573]

Mandatory

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqVVG4FCq7w

[Anonymous No.4759578]

The way some games were advertised was as if they were a dare. Many times these were very accurate to how difficult the game could be.

You think you’re bad? Well, you ain’t shit because this game will fuck you up.

[Anonymous No.4759582]

>>4759573
Heading Tony Jay narrate a pitch for a Kirby game is utterly surreal

[Anonymous No.4759586]

This might be the most awesome ad ever made

[Anonymous No.4759587]

>>4759582
Everything about American Kirby is surreal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU6cHCkWqy8

[Anonymous No.4759591]

>>4759587
This secret if evermore commercial is pretty nightmarish.

https://youtu.be/dEu8wDAQuDk

[Anonymous No.4759594]

>>4759591
I found a collection of all the Kirby TV ads and I feel like I'm tripping balls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYdFB0lpe3w

[Anonymous No.4759596]

>>4759591
That's kinda fucking awesome.

[Anonymous No.4759598]

>>4759594
Holy shit!
That Kirby avalanche ad has Rick Gomez (Endless Mike) from Advetures of Pete and Pete...

[Anonymous No.4759604]

I love how forthcoming these ads are in regards to the crushing difficulty. It’s like they knew who wanted these games.

[Anonymous No.4759607]

[Anonymous No.4759610]

Years ago I met with a former Nickelodeon’s executive who was in control of syndication in the 1990s.

He told me this:

>kids love nihilism

He was right

[Anonymous No.4759614]

You could never get away with an awesome ad like this, today.

[Anonymous No.4759619]

>>4759614
Or this

[Anonymous No.4759627]

This one gave me nightmares as a kid. I thought it was awesome.

[Anonymous No.4759630]

Some of these are so fucking surreal they become high art.

[Anonymous No.4759634]

Marketing Kirby towards boys made him seem so much more interesting back in the day. Now he’s aimed at babbies and chicks.

[Anonymous No.4759636]

>>4759634
Kirby 64 was my favorite and not just for nostalgia.

Mixing powers was a kickass mechanism.

I also like Epic Yarn a lot though so I might be an outlier.

[Anonymous No.4759637]

>>4759634
This almost looks like a prototype to the virgin vs Chad meme.

[Anonymous No.4759640]

God I miss 90s nihilism Nintendo.

[Anonymous No.4759641]

[Anonymous No.4759645]

>>4759641
God I love how boastful these ads were

[Anonymous No.4759646]

[Anonymous No.4759650]

[Anonymous No.4759654]

It was the waning era of the ad-man. Clever copy and a hook still dictated the approach to advertisement. Compare to literally every modern ad, which consists of ethnically diverse people looking overjoyed and/or dancing to some faggot hipster song, interspersed with footage of the game.
https://youtu.be/CdWd8fUC71g

[Anonymous No.4759663]

Even something lame like beauty and the beast could be made to seem badass.

[Anonymous No.4759668]

Even Michael Jackson seemed so
Much more bad than normal.

[Anonymous No.4759674]

>>4759654
There was a lot of avant- grade artistry going on with some of these ads.

[Anonymous No.4759678]

[Anonymous No.4759684]

[Anonymous No.4759689]

This ad is so insane I don’t know what to make of it.

[Anonymous No.4759691]

>>4759586
holy shir

[Anonymous No.4759692]

>>4759691
oh, it's a shop

[Anonymous No.4759694]

I’m still shocked that this was a real advert.

This shit would never fly today

[Anonymous No.4759697]

[Anonymous No.4759708]

Sometimes all you need is artistic slow photography of milk flying out a guy’s nose to sell a game.

[Anonymous No.4759715]

>>4759654
Games aren’t just for young white males anymore. Now they have to appeal to middle aged black women and trans dyke Latinas (and that’s a good thing!)

[Anonymous No.4759720]

>>4759715

[Anonymous No.4759726]

This is awesome

[Anonymous No.4759735]

[Anonymous No.4759739]

[Anonymous No.4759741]

I look back on many of these ads with a bit of nostalgic charm, but truth be told I fucking hated ads like this as a kid. Giant irrelevant shit + tiny postage stamp sized screen shots.
I wanted to see the fucking game even when I was a kid. When I was able to go on to GameSpy and IGN over dial up in middle school it was like a dream come true, I actually got to see what the game fucking looked like before I rented/bought it.

[Anonymous No.4759761]

>>4759741
I dunno.
Looking back on many of these I’m surprised by how accurate they are and how they truly nail down what the game is all about.

They’re accurate in really abstract and artistic ways. Like if you read between the lines and get the subtext, they’re really on the nose.

[Anonymous No.4759765]

I think how modern media like twitch can be deceptive to how a game actually is if the player sucks or if they already have some kind of internal bias towards a genre.

[Anonymous No.4759772]

>>4759561
You are no longer the main demographic. It's not hard to understand.

[Anonymous No.4759775]

>>4759772
Who are these gray blobs they are advertising to?

[Anonymous No.4759781]

>>4759775
Other people.

[Anonymous No.4759784]

>>4759781
I refuse to believe other people are joyless, humorless dullards.

[Anonymous No.4759801]

>>4759784
I don't think anyone really cares what you do or don't believe lol

[Anonymous No.4759808]

>>4759801
its true tho.

only cynical executives think average consumers are soulless cattle and aim for lowest common denominator when the average joe isn't like that.

[Anonymous No.4759902]

When I would read game magazines in the 90s almost all the ads would make me cringe. They were always at clash with the aesthetic of the game and seemed needlessly edgy and try-hard.

[Anonymous No.4759908]

>>4759694
>This shit would never fly today
It easily would. I don't know why so many people on 4chan are thinking society has turned into the Victorian era. You can get away with anything now.

[Anonymous No.4759926]

>>4759908
Not sure if you’ve been keeping up with current events but everyone is afraid of job lynch mobs now

[Anonymous No.4759938]

>>4759775

30+ year olds with money. Those ads used to be aimed at them too only they were 16 at the time so it worked.

[Anonymous No.4759943]

>>4759938
I’m over 30 and these geriatric ads don’t get me hyped

[Anonymous No.4759947]

Modern ads have no balls.

Gutless faggot shit

[Anonymous No.4759953]

>>4759694
Of course, only Patrick Bateman is rich enough to play Neo Geo.

[Anonymous No.4759956]

Now this is an ad...
Absurd
Outrageous
Visually striking

I fuckin want one.

[Anonymous No.4759961]

[Anonymous No.4759969]

This ad speaks to all males of all ages. We have all been there. You could make 1000s of variations of this advert using different races and ages, the message still works because it’s fuckin true!

[Anonymous No.4759975]

>>4759561
Judge Dredd is my husbando.

[Anonymous No.4759980]

Nintendo used to know their audience before they aimed for the onions boy crowd.

[Anonymous No.4759982]

>>4759980
*onions boy crowd

[Anonymous No.4759985]

>>4759982
>>4759975
The fuck...

I can’t say S-O-Y

[Anonymous No.4760010]

>>4759808
Games are doing very well with many people loving them. Your perception is wonky.

[Anonymous No.4760012]

>>4759637
virgin mario vs chad kirby

[Anonymous No.4760023]

>>4759694
>4 dimensional graphics

Nani?

[Anonymous No.4760027]

>>4759694
the only magazine i remember seeing that ad in was one of my dad's playboys

[Anonymous No.4760050]

>>4759926
Or games companies don't want to offend the "based"boy target demographic. Those guys are really enthusiastic about video games.

[Anonymous No.4760089]

>>4760050
These... boys... don’t buy challenging games.

[Anonymous No.4760169]

>>4760050
I hate his kind

[Anonymous No.4760175]

>>4760050
his little twig forearms disgust me almost as much as his coward-monkey scream grimace.

[Anonymous No.4760305]

Awesome. Another /v/ thread chock full of young millennials who don't know a goddamned thing. This place gets shittier every day.

>>4759741
>but truth be told I fucking hated ads like this as a kid. Giant irrelevant shit + tiny postage stamp sized screen shots

This. Random toilet humor or some bimbo pushing her boobs in my face doesn't tell me anything about the game. I just want to see some actual gameplay footage so I know what I'm getting into before I purchase another overpriced toy that might turn out to be shit. All these risque ads were just cheap and desperate pandering trying to market something that probably otherwise sucked.

[Anonymous No.4760335]

>>4760305
You could see actual gameplay in the commercials faggot lol

[Anonymous No.4760346]

>>4760305
>Awesome. Another /v/ thread chock full of young millennials who don't know a goddamned thing. This place gets shittier every day.

You forgot the part about how instead of talking about how much they love old games, they think this board was put here for them to bitch and moan about how much they hate new games. It's the new face of /vr/! Whiny kids whining it's not 1995 anymore and they're forced to grow up and clean their rooms.

[Anonymous No.4760416]

>>4759961
"Sega" in Italian means "jerk"
themoreyouknow.idk

[Anonymous No.4760443]

>>4760305
How do you convey gameplay in a print ad, which were much more prevalent back then?

[Anonymous No.4760471]

>>4760443
>How do you convey gameplay in a print ad

With proper synopses and gratuitous screenshots, not non-sequitur shit like tits and fart jokes.

[Anonymous No.4760501]

>>4760471
What fucking dimension are you from where you’ve seen a verbose advert?

[Anonymous No.4760513]

>>4759561
>The shit we get today just fails to get me interested in what are actually decent games.
You mean 30 second commercials that show 28 seconds of gameplay? That doesn't appeal to you? This is what we've been screaming for for 20 years, though.

[Anonymous No.4760529]

>>4759619
Now mom can’t take my gameboy away!

[Anonymous No.4760716]

>>4759561
>Why are modern game PR firms such fags?

Because they get branded as racist Nazis and lose their livelihoods from the social media uproar if they accidentally offend anyone.

[Anonymous No.4760732]

>>4759637
Off topic but the meme goes back farther than you might think.

[Anonymous No.4760754]

>>4759604
True story: they never intended Fester's Quest to be as hard as it was (missing things like a proper continue feature/passwords), but there wasn't any time to put one in by time they had to release the game, so marketing just said "fuck it, use that as a selling point, the game is fucking HARD"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG2L-WREllY

Fester's Quest wound up selling more than a million copies.

[Anonymous No.4760759]

>>4760335
>You could see actual gameplay in the commercials faggot lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA5YF7GJIiQ

[Anonymous No.4760761]

>>4759561
>tfw the joke actually happened

[Anonymous No.4760868]

>>4759573
Man, talk about desperate for 90s cool factor.

[Anonymous No.4760890]

>>4759586
At least post the original instead of the 9/11 joke edit.

[Anonymous No.4760901]

>>4759646
could aim this ad at china and korea unironically.

[Anonymous No.4760905]

>>4760027
who else but an adult with money to burn could afford one?

[Anonymous No.4760906]

>>4759692
But this one isn't

[Anonymous No.4760917]

>>4759678
Seriously, how did it went from macho awesomeness to onions boy communist fan fiction?

[Anonymous No.4760923]

>>4759982
4chan filters the "S-O-Y B-O-Y" to "onions boy".

[Anonymous No.4760959]

>>4760906
which simulator software did the FBI use to train those al-qaeda dudes to fly again

[Anonymous No.4760979]

Found this in an old X-men comic

[Anonymous No.4761125]

>>4760416
From Italy here. No it doesn't.

[Anonymous No.4761138]

>>4760905
I had one as a kid, though I've been accused of being video related: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sdcL6Rq7ZGE&t=22s
The song is pretty accurate save for the fact that I was a legacy at Princeton, not Yale.

[Anonymous No.4761141]

>>4760979
is he sucking his dick, wat the fugg

[Anonymous No.4761157]

>>4760305

I thought most of these ads were cool even back then

[Anonymous No.4761171]

>>4759569
TAITO means skill.

[Anonymous No.4761182]

>>4759561

nowdays everything has to be PC so none of these cool ads would fly

[Anonymous No.4761246]

>>4759567
Agreed that is compelling

[Anonymous No.4761264]

>>4759561
Because you're not the target demographic anymore retard.

[Anonymous No.4761349]

Video game mag advertising really had an edge to it. One of my personal collection.

[Anonymous No.4761379]

>>4759772
>main demographic
Please do describe the demographic targeted nowadays. I'm curious to see what you think aside from "other people"

[Anonymous No.4761453]

>>4761125
Actually it does, maybe not in your dialect?
Insomma, immagino dipenda da dove abiti. Certo che la battuta di Geppetto che ha fatto un figlio con una sega è famosa.

[Anonymous No.4761503]

>>4761264
i should be.
i have more more money to burn now than when i was 10 years old.

[Anonymous No.4761554]

>>4759650
mmm one of my best and earliest faps. Into high-cut thongs and heels ever since.

[Anonymous No.4761563]

How come characters don't shill their own games anymore?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceqwndn71_g

[Anonymous No.4761676]

>>4759565
Heavy Metal for ants?

[Anonymous No.4761681]

>>4759689
This is how the professional gamer looks now.

[Anonymous No.4761691]

>>4759654
No it wasn’t. It was the face of the “tude” era that touched all of 90’s media. The “ad man” was long gone before this. That era also fucking sucked and the ads were bland and packaged for boring middle class white men and up.

[Anonymous No.4761703]

>>4761691
>the ads were bland and packaged for boring middle class white men and up.
>the ads were bland

what are you talking about

[Anonymous No.4761708]

>>4761703
Great you found the rare, silly, blatantly offensive ad amidst a sea of millions of other bland illustrations selling kitchen cleaner power GREAT JOB. When was the last time you flipped through Life magazine and just marveled at all of the glorious fucking adverts as an endless source of entertainment? Never right?

[Anonymous No.4761710]

>>4761708
Old ads rocked.

You're big fuckin gay my guy.

[Anonymous No.4761772]

This is some pretty cancerous autism. OP has made dozens of iterations of this thread before, always recycling the same images and effortlessly bumping his own shitty thread several times a day. Do you ever go outside, dude?

[Anonymous No.4761813]

>>4759908
Maybe people think that because we never see shit like this anymore. There was a fiasco last year because SJWs were bitching about the Dead or Alive franchise and the DoA publisher said up front "fine then, we're not bringing the game over to the west, we're just going to be shat on if we do."

[Anonymous No.4761830]

>>4761772
I like OP's thread. I enjoy seeing these adverts. If you don't like them you could just hide the thread, it's not hurting anyone.
I have to suspect you're not a big user of 4chan when you're saying "go outside" as an insult.

[Anonymous No.4761834]

>>4759561

Americans especially the target demographic "nu males" are heavily pussified.

[Anonymous No.4762039]

>>4761830
>it's not hurting anyone
It's hurting the quality of this board. /vr/ isn't /v/ with dates. This thread does nothing but attract the same set of shitposters who come in and whine about their SJW boogeyman before having their posts deleted, then they ban evade and whine some more. Did you get rangebanned from /v/ and decide to shit up our board instead? That's not our fault. Go bother somebody else.

[Anonymous No.4762146]

>>4759908
Do you live in a cave?
If that ad was made today, that lady would cry "SEXUAL ABUSE! #metoo #timesup " and get the entire company bankrupt before the ad even had a chance to reach mass media.

[Anonymous No.4762362]

>>4762039
I'm pretty sure the people posting adverts and the people posting political shit are separate people.

[Anonymous No.4762452]

http://desuarchive.org/vr/search/subject/ads/

http://desuarchive.org/vr/thread/4550607/#4550607
http://desuarchive.org/vr/thread/3360489/#3360489
http://desuarchive.org/vr/thread/2325571/#2325571
http://desuarchive.org/vr/thread/2199279/#2199279
>>/vr/thread/4759561#p4759561

Christ, this is worse autism than the CRT generals. And look at all those trashed /pol/shitters. These threads are clearly bait spamming. Some mod please auto-filter this shit already.

[Anonymous No.4763518]

>>4761691
Back to tumblr, S-O-Y B-O-Y.

[Anonymous No.4763573]

>>4759569
Panic Restaurant is an amazing game I never see anyone talk about. The cover is damn right disturbing. No wonder nobody bought it.

[Anonymous No.4763740]

>>4761379
There are many, many demographics being sought after now. That was more the point.

[Anonymous No.4763754]

>>4759591
sounds like caleb from blood.
Must be him.

[Anonymous No.4763760]

>>4759708
Holy shit. Its Mark Ruffalo. He's turning into the Hulk.

[Anonymous No.4764574]

>tfw you can never go back

[Anonymous No.4764579]

>>4764574
>head badly shooped on at the wrong angle with wrong lighting

[Anonymous No.4764589]

>>4759765
man, there were some stupid fucking peripherals during this era.

[Anonymous No.4764592]

[Anonymous No.4764595]

>>4764579
Twas Saturn Era Sega. What do you expect?

[Anonymous No.4764615]

>>4764574

At least this one actually shows some screenshots. In any other case, it would just be a bimbo in a suggestive pose along with the title of the game. Retro ads were fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.4764637]

Tits are ubiquitous enough as it is. Let's do something more original.

According to Google translate, this ad seems to read "To get laid is mostly a question of style." I have no idea if that's accurate.

[Anonymous No.4764679]

>>4761349
playstation
by war criminals
for war criminals

[Anonymous No.4765087]