/vr/ - Retro Games

[Anonymous No.446275]

Games that have absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Pic strongly related. I can't even begin to fathom what they were thinking when they made this. I tried it again tonight, and couldn't believe there are actually 2 time limits - the photo and the actual numerical counter. If either one runs out, you die. And the photo doesn't even recharge between stages, so you're GOING to die. Then they put clocks and power-ups literally right next to a wall where you can't get them without hitting the wall and losing them. I would have been supremely pissed to have paid $60 for this in 1989.

[Anonymous No.446292]

It's rare for a game to have absolutely 0 redeeming qualities, but the prime example would be Action 52.

[Anonymous No.446297]

>>446292

I find that hilarious. Even with 52 games, there isn't a single good one.

[Anonymous No.446326]

Not to mention they use the same fucking shitty (sped up) NES rendition of Huey Louis & the News' Power of Love for EVERY single part of the game.

[Anonymous No.446364]

>>446326
What about what sounds like it might be Johnny B. Goode in the next to last stage?

[Anonymous No.446380]

>>446326
That sounds amazing actually. I love Hewie Lewis and The News.

[Princess Bubblegum !AnVbXjgZco No.446389]

>>446297
It's kinda sad really, if they'd spent less time making 51 more terrible games, Cheetahmen might have actually been half-decent.

[Anonymous No.446391]

Stealth Fighter for NES
when one of the first images returned on google is the cart somebody recycled into a clock, I think it's pretty shitty

[Anonymous No.446392]

why do i get the feeling that /vr/'s entire knowledge of nes amounts to super mario brothers and avgn?

I'm kind of shocked at how little people discuss any sort the lesser known good nes games like metal storm, guardian legend, dragon fighter, shatterhand.

[Anonymous No.446395]

>>446292
cheetahmen theme is pretty good

[Anonymous No.446420]

>>446392
>good games
wrong thread

[Anonymous No.446439]

>>446392
AVGN was right on the money with BttF though. Actually I'd say he didn't trash it enough. Sometimes people think a game is terrible when it's really not (like Castlevania 2), but with BttF it deserves all the hate it gets.

[Anonymous No.446491]

Sometimes being absolute shit becomes its own merit.

[Anonymous No.446547]

[aceman No.446835]

>>446491
Least it had a decent sequel.

[Anonymous No.446840]

>>446392
>dragon fighter
>good

[Anonymous No.446891]

>>446392
>lesser known games
>HVGN
Nice try, you're not any better.

[Anonymous No.446918]

>>446389
They tried making Cheetahmen II, and that was just as shit.

You can't say it has zero redeeming qualities though, that theme tune made for some awesome remixes in the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXNIArCQtwg

[Anonymous No.446936]

Ethnic Cleansing is straight-up disgusting.

[Anonymous No.446979]

>>446275
all it takes is one screenshot and that song comes back.

[Anonymous No.447073]

>>446547
Oh god I hate this game more than Milon's Secret Castle. But just barely more.

[Anonymous No.447510]

Are we not allowed to talk about games that weren't featured on AVGN, or something?

Because I think we need to talk about this complete and total failure of gaming. Christ, point-and-click without mouse support is bad enough, but hell, the one before that had the same thing and at least it was still a moderate fun game. This just sucks on every possible level.

[Anonymous No.447527]

>>447510
Gotta love going through all that effort to evade some psycho killer just to get one of the dozen endings of them killing you.

[Anonymous No.447548]

I remember renting Back to the Future for the NES a lot as a kid. I even wanted to own it, but my parents never picked it up for me. A part of it might have been that I was in love with the movies, except I didn't really care for Back to the Future II and III or the cartoon show. Sure, it has its flaws, but it's really not that bad of a game.

[Anonymous No.447637]

>>447548
What exactly did you like about it? I'm not attacking, I just genuinely want to know. The street stages are so repetitive, the behind the counter ones are needlessly difficult to line up the shots, and there is no continue or password feature, so if you get to the end and mess up you're stuck doing all that inane stuff all over again. It would have been decent, I guess, as a 1985 arcade game, but SMB3 already came out in '88 in Japan, and BttF came out in '89. There's no excuse for why it couldn't have been so much better.

[Anonymous No.447678]

Whats the game called?

[Anonymous No.447687]

>>447527
Maybe it would have been tolerable if any of the endings had been in any way satisfying, but not even the best ones were. And I mean, the first PS Clock Tower was clunky as fuck too but at least it still had some decent scares and good atmosphere...Ghost Head just felt like a chore the entire way through. The only times it got even vaguely entertaining were when Alyssa was channeling Bates.

[Anonymous No.447690]

>>447678
OP's pic is Back to the Future on NES if that's the one you mean.

[Anonymous No.447694]

>>447637
I thought it was a simple, yet challenging and fun, game.

The street levels are no more repetitive than the levels in Super Mario Bros., and like Super Mario Bros., the street levels get progressively more difficult.

Lining up your shots in the counter stage (and lining up to block hearts in the heart stage) isn't that difficult once you've played the stage a few times and figure out what the game expects of you.

The game really doesn't need continues or passwords as it is pretty short once you've mastered it. Like a lot of games of its time, that's the real catch: you need to keep playing it in order to master it in order to beat it. For a kid in the late 80's/early 90's with a limited selection of entertainment, this isn't something crazy to ask. For an adult in 2013, with such a wide variety of entertainment choices at your fingertips (we basically have vast libraries of games that we can just download and play for free), maybe it's a little much, but I really doubt that 2013 adults were the target audience of these games, yeah? Even so, there's adults today that love the challenge of being expected to replay a game many, many times until they've mastered it in order to beat it (as opposed to just being hand-held through a movie in the form of a video game).

[Anonymous No.447739]

>>447694
Okay I can respect that. I disagree about SMB, though, since each stage had different layouts while the streets are the same (from what I've seen), especially if we're talking SMB3, it had a ton of variety. But I never made it all the way through BttF so I don't know how it all plays out. Did you beat the game? I'm curious how long it takes.

[Anonymous No.447770]

>>447739
I beat it as a kid. It was the reason I stopped renting it as much, although I still remember renting it and beating it for friends to see. I went back and played it in college and, after a couple hours, was able to get a successful playthrough. Once you're really good at it, it takes, like, 30 minutes or so to beat.

The street levels aren't the same, though. The layouts change as you get further in the game.

[Anonymous No.448405]

>>446391
>one of the first images returned on google is the cart somebody recycled into a clock

[Anonymous No.448414]

>>446292
cheetahman theme

[Anonymous No.448417]

>>446835
Came to say this.

>>446547
Hahah, I posted that in a "game you like that everyone else hates" thread. Poor guys were just trying to cash in on Zelda's popularity with a half-assed clone. It's not so bad in its own right. Good music and atmosphere, imo. Cheapass difficulty though.

[Anonymous No.448503]

Oh... Back to the Future...

Youngsters who only know of this game from AVGN and other Internet sources (which seems to be almost everyone) don't understand the pain this game wrought beyond simply being a shitty game.

Games were fucking expensive back then. Check out an inflation calculator sometime. Unless you came from a fairly well off family or were an only child (neither of which were my case) you got maybe two games a year, for birthday and Christmas, and that's if you were lucky.

I got BttF for my birthday the year it came out because I fucking loved the movie. It was probably my favorite at the time. Oh my god that game... The music is still burned into my head. What made it worse was that if you had a shitty game back then, you still played the shit out of it, because it's not like you could turn it in or go online and download some demos to fuck around with or anything. You couldn't really complain about the game either without sounding like an ungrateful little shit because your parents had to spend so much on it. I played that game for hours upon hours upon hours because I figured if I beat it I'd never have to touch it again and then when I wanted a new game at some point my mom couldn't say "But you haven't finished the last game we got for you, anon"

The only good effect BttF had on my life was being the point at which I learned I should never buy a game or ask for it as a gift if I haven't played it or rented it first.

[Anonymous No.448517]

>>448503
We had it at our elementary school's after-care. No one could (or wanted to) get past the first level.