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/vr/ - Retro Games

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3847305 No.3847305 [Reply] [Original]

ITT retro cliches you hate

>fighting game
>american character
pro wrestler

>> No.3847380

>>3847305

>12 year old girl
>Absolutely destroys person 3x her size and strength

>> No.3847386
File: 5 KB, 209x250, 1488386787481.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3847386

>trash talks games
>never plays any games

>> No.3847416
File: 417 KB, 500x700, 896.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3847416

>Escort missions

>> No.3847525

>>3847380
"a loli defeated me my manliness will never recover" the post.
lolis destroying big mean guys is hot.

>> No.3847540

>Amnesiac protagonist
>Can't even remember social norms
>Total adept in combat

>> No.3847561

>>3847416
Oh my god this and now I'm a parent

>> No.3847619

>Sequel with same characters
>They start out as underpowered newbies
That was one of the best things Metroid Prime did, was to give an explanation as to why Samus loses all her toys.

>> No.3847626

>adventure games
>you have to use the dead turkey to jerk off the hobo so that his semen lands near the rat that is going to run near a woman whose scream is going to shatter the windows and then use a piece of the broken glass to cut open a sack of flour and then use the flour to disguise yourself as a phantom in order to gain entrance to the next area

>> No.3847642

>>3847626
Yeah, the Big Gordon quest in OOT Master Quest was tedious.

>> No.3847802
File: 136 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3847802

>>3847642
>Big Gordon

>> No.3847809

I dunno why but pallette swaps

>> No.3848279
File: 12 KB, 348x348, jerry fast.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848279

>>3847305
SFII: Guile and Ken, aren't wrestlers
Fatal Fury/KoF: Terry and Andy Bogard, aren't wrestlers
Tekken: Paul, isn't wrestler
…Or are you one of those crooky teeth brits who call beat 'em ups fighting games?

>> No.3848282

>>3847619
It's almost like, you know, it's game. A challenge that doesn't need to make sense to be fun.

>> No.3848298

>>3847416

Fact: There has never ever been a good escort mission.

>> No.3848423

>>3847525
>I justify it based on my fetish and refuse to acknowledge the practical unlikelihoods of this happening

>> No.3848428

>>3847619
>an explanation as to why Samus loses all her toys
You mean get thrown against a wall so hard that her suit inexplicably transforms back into its base form while every single one of her weapons and accessories (except her basic pea shooter) stop working? What kind of standards do you have in order to think that was good storytelling?

>> No.3848434

>>3848428
I never said it was good storytelling. I only said it was an explanation. And in a genre where no explanation is the standard, I'm appreciative of something even that simple.

>> No.3848456

>>3847416
Hard mode: autoscrolling underwater escort mission. No checkpoints

>> No.3848494

>>3847305
>>fighting game
>>american character
>pro wrestler
They are more Mexicans than anything, kid.

>> No.3848508

>>3847305
>fighting game
>american character
>pro wrestler

Can you name 5 that even fit this?

>> No.3848626
File: 36 KB, 289x375, Muscle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848626

>>3848508
Nothim, but the only people I can think of are Muscle Power from World Heroes and Max Eagle from another SNK game.
Zangief would be Russian
King would be Mexican
Big Bear/Raiden would be Australian

>> No.3848634

>>3848508
all the bad guys on Double Dragon

>> No.3848642
File: 27 KB, 249x278, sf3-alex.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848642

>>3848626
>>3848508
…that's 1

>> No.3848728
File: 765 KB, 960x540, DOA5_Tina_Bass.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848728

>>3848642
Just remembered these guys as well.

>> No.3848732

>>3848508
>Can you name 5 that even fit this?
Every WWF game ever

>> No.3848776
File: 63 KB, 382x684, vg_brazil.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848776

>>3847305
>fighting game
>brazilian character
>brown capoeira or bjj fighter

>> No.3848780

>>3848776
But Blanka is neither of those things

>> No.3848792
File: 35 KB, 503x415, 1485535733863.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848792

Jump on the enemy three times to win!

>> No.3848797

>>3848780
Blanka isn't even brazilian. Besides, a cliche is still a cliche.

>> No.3848819

>>3848776
who is that NOT VEGA?

>> No.3848829
File: 54 KB, 576x448, img.php.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848829

>>3848819
From Knuckle Heads.

>> No.3848845

>>3848776
>Blanka
Are you implying he uses capoeira?…
>Oro
Japanese, not even jiu-jitsu
>Sean
Trained under Ken, so karate
>Rikuo
C'mon…
>Marco/Butt
Obvious karate
>the rest
Do you think anyone cares?

Literally the only important cases are Tekken (what a surprise) and Fatal Fury.

>> No.3848857

>>3847540
This right here. Every damn time.

>> No.3848886
File: 28 KB, 358x350, 1489014609212.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848886

>>3848634
>Double dragon
>Fighting game

Ook!

>> No.3848953
File: 42 KB, 640x480, 96799-VirtuaFighter.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848953

>>3847305
>fighting game
>characters jump 10 feet in the air

>> No.3848956

>>3848845
>>Blanka
>Are you implying he uses capoeira?…
tbf capcom said he does

>> No.3848957

>gentleman brit
>anime school girl

>> No.3848960

>>3848732
>game about american pro wrestling
>has american pro wrestlers
why the h*ck?!

>> No.3848974 [DELETED] 
File: 2.52 MB, 508x362, Kid Chaos.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3848974

Platformers copying Sonic's speed without copying his attacking options or level designs.

Pic related on the Amiga was the only Sonic clone that understood what made Sonic fun.

>> No.3848986

>>3848956
>Blanka fights in a self-taught, animalistic savage style (however, Capcom's USA division originally depicted it as a Capoeira technique).
They could invent a lot of bullshit. I'm no expert, but it looks literally nothing like Bob Whilson/Eddie Gordo fight like. Maybe, only maybe, with the exception of his somersault kick, and even that is a big stretch.

>> No.3848994

>>3848957
>anime school girl
Given most of anime is about high school girls, it comes as very surprising, isn't it

>> No.3849027

>>3848298
Ico

>> No.3849034

>>3848428
Metroid fusion makes the most sense with this.

>> No.3849070

>>3847305
Isn't it usually mexican and russian characters that are the pro wrestlers?

>> No.3849084

>>3848298
I dunno, Bioshock Infinite was a good game, so was Ico.

>> No.3849090
File: 40 KB, 320x371, Lemmings.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3849090

>>3848298
>Escort Mission: The Game
>It's actually good and addictive
Good job, DMA Design.

>> No.3849110
File: 56 KB, 621x240, sf2ce-06-zangief.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3849110

>>3849070
Being Russian, it's kinda funny since USSR never had any wrestling like WWE, and bear wrestling isn't a thing. The only thing close that comes to mind is this https://youtu.be/ZsGutd3dvvY
Fun fact: initially, Nishitani called Zangief "Vodka Gorbovsky". Speaking of which, Zangief's stage is a surprisingly accurate (albeit cartoonish) depiction of USSR back in the day. They got the sweaters, vodka, and long-haired slacker teens right, at least.

>> No.3849129
File: 2.63 MB, 580x414, Kid Chaos.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3849129

Sonic-like speed in a platformer that wasn't designed with high speed in mind, so going fast feels dangerous instead of useful. Even more hateable if it's a sequel to a platformer that didn't have it, like James Pond 3.

Pic related for the Amiga is the only 90s Sonic clone to understand how Sonic worked beyond "he goes fast".

>> No.3849141

>>3848279
The ones you listed aren't cliches the OP was talking about then. Haggar and Alex are.

>> No.3849156

>>3849141
Final Fight is a beat 'em up, and Haggar barely appeared in other games aside for Saturday Slam Masters and Final Fight Revenge.
Street Fighter III is barely known outside of FGC, and even then 1 character is not much by any standards. SF already had Ken, Guile and Balrog. Could as well add a wrestler, you know.

>> No.3849164

>>3849156
>Saturday Slam Masters

There you go, he debuted in a fighting game.

>> No.3849168

>>3849129
jesus that really looks like a sonic romhack

>> No.3849293

No saves, no password system. Not sure if that's a cliche or not, but it's the worst thing about pre 5th gen games.

>> No.3849554
File: 11 KB, 480x452, 16938753_1450149428330871_449923744250569277_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3849554

>>3847540

>> No.3849890

>>3847416
yoshis island =)

>> No.3849930

I'm BR and I'm ok with BR fighters hailing from a jungle. Better Blanka than some capoeira nigger trying to look cool.

>>3848776
Richard Meyer wasn't brown. SNK fucked it in newer games.

>> No.3849969

>>3849084
>Bioshock Infinite was a good game
How can anyone think this? Especially compared to Ico?

>> No.3849971

>>3847525
Can pedophiles leave

>> No.3850031

>>3848819
holy shit i didn't even notice it wasn't vega

>> No.3850092
File: 99 KB, 325x461, evander_holyfied_622f949f63da37c768de304801.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3850092

>play FMV game
>shitty actor telling me "this isn't a game"

>> No.3850095
File: 19 KB, 720x379, FB_IMG_1487003773563.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3850095

>>3848279

>> No.3850107

>>3849164
You are doing this on purpose don't yu?

>> No.3850109

>>3848960
You ever stop to think that anon might've been joking?

>> No.3850113

>>3848829
Here's one:

>Character is a ripoff/had Sample another character.

>> No.3850117
File: 14 KB, 210x263, 1486500092618.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3850117

>>3847525
>>3849084

>> No.3850304
File: 25 KB, 178x200, IMG_0544.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3850304

>>3847305
>Being ridiculously hard because games got returned too quickly if they weren't but now it just makes me not want to play them
>Passwords for saving

>> No.3852496

>silent protagonist

>> No.3852505
File: 470 KB, 1280x1846, 018.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3852505

>>3848423
> the practical unlikelihoods of this happening
It's a game dude

>> No.3852604

>>3848829
At least they know commom BR names

>> No.3853521

>>3852505
what's it from?

>> No.3853574

>>3847380
I only hate it when it's stronk independent womyn and she is a blatant feminist.

>> No.3853928

>>3852505
Does she beat him at the end? Because otherwise that's fucking sick. Lolis are for hugs.

>> No.3853931

>>3853928
Lolis are for fugs

>> No.3853936

>>3853931
Whatever. But sure not for punching with a non-chalant face and matching dialogue about how it's fucked up to NOT want to beat them up.
I hope the guy ends up with a pair of scissors embedded in his balls.

>> No.3853937

>>3853936
You need to be knocked down to toughen up.

>> No.3853946

>>3853937
...
I assume this is your fetish.

>> No.3853952

>>3853946
No, it's not my fetish. I just know the loli will learn to stop being timid and punch back after a few hits. It builds her character.

>> No.3853970

>>3853928
No, I also recommend you don't read it

>> No.3853978

>super strong party slaying dragons with legendary swords and magic
>denied access to an area by a solitary guard.

>> No.3853994

>>3853936
shut up loser

>> No.3854000

Respawning enemies.

I don't know what made me develop this hatred, maybe it was due to Toy Story 2 on N64 where enemy AI would pop up out of nowhere.

>> No.3854158

>>3849084
yorda was the worst part of ico. Resident evil 4 is the only game with a large escort component that is good, because you can throw Ashley in the trash and go deal with shit.

>> No.3854163

>>3847305
> Female American character
> Busty, loudmouthd blonde wearing a bikini top and ragged shorts
> She's absurdly strong, absurdly undressed and absurdly dumb

>> No.3856527

>>3847305
>Enemies respawn if you backtrack.

>> No.3856529

>>3848298
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03Mh0shOkw8

WRONG!

>> No.3856548

>>3848298
the first half of the Meat Circus from Psychonauts was a pretty good escort mission, instead of baby sitting some retarded NPC, you had to run an obstacle course to save that NPC, basically a better version of a time limit.

>> No.3856778

>>3856548
Would Half Life 2 count? Alyx is surprisingly not shit.

>> No.3856841
File: 39 KB, 503x617, 1427640447559.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3856841

>platformer
>level designer has his name written on the level with useful items that are out of reach for the player

>> No.3856849
File: 33 KB, 500x669, dog sick of your shit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3856849

>Belt scroller
>Flying enemies

>> No.3856852

>>3854163
More of a manga trope. But yeah...

>> No.3856859
File: 122 KB, 171x372, pilotwings 64 robin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3856859

>>3854163
What the fuck Nintendo

>> No.3856937
File: 348 KB, 1155x436, 1375848597623.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3856937

>>3847305
>fighting game
>hot-blooded Jap teen male is the MC

>> No.3856939

>>3856849
This speaks to me. I've been playing X-Men Mutant Apocalypse. Those hoverbike guys on Cyclops' stage can eat a whole bucket of dicks.

>> No.3857130

>>3850092
holy fuck this. Off the top of my head Shockwave and Sewer Shark did it. Cute guys, cute. Now let me move my crosshair over these realistic tube simulators.

>> No.3857151

>>3847525
If your suffering from autism then absolutely!

>> No.3857164
File: 1.06 MB, 850x1206, 67000401.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3857164

>>3848886
>Double Dragon
>Not a fighting game
I guess you've never played the Neo-Geo version.

>> No.3857264

>>3849293
Unless you're playing a JRPG or adventure game, passwords/saves in retro games are completely pointless.

>> No.3857275

>Arcade game has a continue feature.
>It's just an endless score attack game without a plot.
Many early games did this, like Bosconian and Gauntlet. What's the point of credit-feeding game if there's no real ending to see?

>> No.3859053

>>3849129
What is this sonic meets super star wars?

>> No.3859081
File: 16 KB, 256x224, Super-Star-Wars-The-Empire-Strikes-Back-U-V1.1-044.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3859081

>>3857264
Some action games got pretty long.

>> No.3859104

>>3847305
Hitting the toe and dying of an enemy

>> No.3859914

>fighting game
>has 5 palette swap characters with barely any differences

>> No.3859927

>>3848845
>Brazillian character

I'm happy about them being present at all. Who gives a shit if it's capoeira, or if the skin tone is deliciously dark?