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/vr/ - Retro Games

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[SPOILER] No.3808565[SPOILER]  [Reply] [Original]

...the bad guy boss of Commander Keen. Shown, left, piloting the most diabolical, terrorizing Metal Gear ever invented that killed Solid SNAAAKE the other day. He died like a bitch. Meanwhile, Mortimer went on to single-handedly Jew the entire Vorticon race in every way possible, and more. He thought he could get away with it, and for the past 20-odd years, he has.

He calls himself the Grand Intellect, obviously comparing himself, favorably, to the Grand Architect, God of the Universe. His IQ is indeed high - higher than anyone else on Earth - but not that high: 315, just 1 point above that of his arch-nemesis, Karate Keith, a fact which the Grand Asshole constantly rubs in his face while pretending that standards of deviation don't exist. He's an intergalactic bully on a genocidal rampage whose egomaniacal delusions are so grandiose that they must originate from within the realm of the supernatural, scientifically speaking.

Surely, if there is a Grand Architect out there, somewhere beyond the void, his IQ would be so high as to trivialize a mere 315, right? Right. So it's baffling that such a smart kid so overestimates his own intelligence. The absolute madman actually believed he was so much smarter than literally everyone and everything, including Space God, that he made it his mission in life to destroy all that said God had created: mass genocide, planetary annihilation, space-time implosion; all on a universal scale.

And for what? Just to be a dick; just to give the finger to existence itself; just to prove his own superiority, that he's the smartest being of all. He is quite like Lucifer, that way. That's his endgame: a quasi-religious half-sane pseudo-scientific, 1-sided life-or-death match-up of extra-multi-dimensional Chess against himself, hypothetically, but against God, metaphorically, across the vast distances of space and time. In 3D.

So be advised: if you see Mortimer McMire, or have any other info about him or Cosmologist Kang, let me know.

>> No.3808665
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3808665

Seriously though talk about Keen ITT. Don't let the playfulness or length of my OP intimidate you.

Keen has some of the best fucking lore of any old game I know of, honestly. It's unbelievably deep for games of that era - platformers, anyway, for sure.

>> No.3808713
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Keen is Christ.

Mortimer is Anti-Lucifer: he brings enlightenment to the Vorticon race, but he doesn't really share any secrets with them. Rather he keeps his forbidden, God-like knowledge to himself. Instead he robs them of their own knowledge and all free will and enslaves them, turning them into a race of mindless zombies which, only then, does he help out, intellectually, and even then, only for their labor he used to construct the space war fleet.

He brings ignorance, darkness and chaos.
Keen brings liberty, safety and order.

>> No.3808738
File: 49 KB, 841x627, command4.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
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Keen Fact: You might notice, on close inspection, a certain, quite literally fatal, interior design flaw in this room. Don't blame Vorticon engineering, though, they didn't build this place, ancient aliens did. Legitimately: Martian civilization is rich, diverse, and storied, and in Keen 1 everyone else just suddenly showed up out of no where. The Vorticons occupied the fortified ruins the Martians abandoned in 1976 after the Viking Lander assassinated in a freak accident their Sacred King, who was blessed with unparalleled intelligence among Martians and whose sudden, unexpected demise doomed them all, resulting in the rapid deterioration of Martian society into barbarism. Now the helpless Yorps are ruled over by tyrannical, violent, mean old Gargs.

>> No.3809779
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Wouldn't it be neat if life was like in the video games - and by consuming enough junk food you could be granted immortality, reincarnation, and hear the voice of God (1-up sound effect equivalent, I guess)? How do we know it isn't like that? Maybe no one has ever collected the requisite amount of points, yet; the real life values may differ from the game's.

Oddly enough my adult diet consists of all the same stuff Keen eats in the games... is there a possible psychological connection, ya think? I seriously wonder.

>> No.3809810

Commander Keen is related to William Blazkowicz.

>> No.3809813

>>3809810
>William Blazkowicz.
Who?

>> No.3810605

Old DOS games had plenty of lore.

One Must Fall come to mind.

>> No.3811428

>>3809813
BJ Blazkowicz

>> No.3811447
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>>3809813
GET OUT! RIGHT NOW!

>> No.3812365
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3812365

>>3811447
Go fucking kill yourself loser.

This place has become such a shit hole it's unbelievable.

>> No.3812381

>>3812365
> SHIT ASS FUCK WHAT WERE THEY THINKING

One day you will tell the world about Mario 2 and they will praise you.