[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]

2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/vr/ - Retro Games

File: 21 KB, 640x512, Zool-2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Tue Jan 10 05:23:18 2017 No.3729430 [Reply] [Original]

Why are British platformers so awful?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 07:16:33 2017 No.3729559 >>3729430 why are british women so awful?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 07:33:09 2017 No.3729570 >>3729559 Because in England whores DO have a place

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 07:34:21 2017 No.3729571 the PAL standard has caused the populous by and large to think slower, to have worse reaction times, and due to the implementation in games, has given them a poor perception of game design.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 07:51:34 2017 No.3729590 File: 22 KB, 233x300, RarewareLogoOld.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Shut up.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 08:01:32 2017 No.3729598 File: 11 KB, 256x223, Bubsy_(SNES).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Why are American platformers so awful?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 08:09:56 2017 No.3729605 File: 86 KB, 1280x753, AnotherWorld_Amiga.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3729430 No idea. The French knew what's up, though.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 08:11:43 2017 No.3729609 File: 744 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20170110-231120.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3729430

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 08:47:11 2017 No.3729628 >>3729559 cuz they dont wash their twats

Anonymous Tue Jan 10 08:55:51 2017 No.3729638

Probably because the NES wasn't popular there, instead they played platformers on computers which all had one button joysticks. It lead to a lot of crappy game design. Most NES and SENS era platformers from Britain are collectathons with dull level design.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 09:02:18 2017 No.3729652 >>3729609 Blown the fuck out OP! Look at all those glorious british names on that! >Fréderic Savoit >Éric Chahi >Fabrice Visserot Now what, OP?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 09:12:39 2017 No.3729671 >>3729559 Inbreeding and a shit culture

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 09:15:08 2017 No.3729678 >>3729652 If you're telling me Frédéric Savoir isn't as British as bangers and mash I'm gonna have to call you a liar, monseigneur

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 09:22:42 2017 No.3729690 File: 641 KB, 1796x1176, Image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Why are British driving games so awesome?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 11:00:18 2017 No.3729832 >>3729605 >cinematic platformers They're more like puzzle games, honestly.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 11:28:56 2017 No.3729884 Some Amiga platformers are actually pretty ok if you can get pass the jumping with up thing. But yeah Zool was terrible.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 14:34:22 2017 No.3730161 >>3729590 Rare's best games aren't their platformers.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 17:37:39 2017 No.3730476 >>3729678 He's about as British as Peter Molyneux.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 18:05:33 2017 No.3730526 >>3730161 what is then huh?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 18:06:38 2017 No.3730529 >>3729678 Mmmm, I checked and they're all French.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 18:14:24 2017 No.3730542 >>3729598 why are american women so awful?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 18:16:59 2017 No.3730546 >>3729430 British game development is severely underrated, especially in the '80s and early '90s.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 18:20:21 2017 No.3730549 >>3729430 I fuckin hate in-game advertisements. On the flip side, the Zool folks can claim that Salvador Dali was a contributing artist.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 10 20:39:39 2017 No.3730737 >>3730161 But the best platformers include Rare titles so your point is irrelevant.

Anonymous Wed Jan 11 10:19:59 2017 No.3731661

>>3729690
British don't have guns like in Murica. The government even tries to ban knives now, I don't even talk about explosives. So needless to say it's hard to make a game about guns and explosions when you barely see them outside of James Bond movies. That's why Rare made an excellent 007 game, and then their imagination ended.

Still, British have to entertain themselves somehow. But how do you do it when even nunchucks are censored? And so they embraced the only thing left, aside from soccer and celtic tales: cars.

And lo and behold, the whole nation has been wanking on Top Gear for 40 years now. You can tell they're desperate for entertainment. They have to drive on the left side of the road because of their PAL cars, and stay in traffic all day long, but still they religiously watch a TV show about cars despite all that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 10:25:04 2017 No.3731670 >>3731661 >PAL cars Kek They drive 17% slower than NTSC cars

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 15:18:31 2017 No.3732076 >>3730526 Games like R.C. Pro-AM, Snake, Rattle & Roll, Battletoads, Cobra Triangle, Solar Jetman, and Captain Skyhawk. >>3730737 Nah, they really don't. Rare was better at making games that weren't platformers.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 20:46:45 2017 No.3732760 File: 8 KB, 218x241, laughing peter petrelli.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3731661 >But how do you do it when even nunchucks are censored? This will never not amuse me

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 20:52:29 2017 No.3732776 >>3732076 >Nah, they really don't. Rare was better at making games that weren't platformers. The two aren't mutually exclusive - the best platformers can be from Rare, but Rare's other games could be even better than those.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:16:49 2017 No.3732816 >>3732760 PAL cars :}

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:20:20 2017 No.3732823 >>3730542 >why are american women so awful? Either they are feminists, or they are well aware that they can fuck up your entire life by crying rape or alimony.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:23:20 2017 No.3732828 File: 8 KB, 230x288, 1459463584740.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3729590

Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:46:13 2017 No.3732864

Shitposting aside, almost all /vr/ British studios learned to dev on the C64 and Spectrum, whose games were sold for 3-20 US dollars and could only use a single button. Even the Amiga and ST were stuck with one button controllers. Scrolling screens were almost never used, and you were lucky if a game was more than 5 levels long.

Rare is only an exception because they left for the console market before everyone else. Their computer games under the Ultimate name were as mediocre as everyone else's.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:47:30 2017 No.3732871 >>3732776 >The two aren't mutually exclusive I realize this, but in this case they are. None of Rare's platformers are better than mediocre.

Anonymous Wed Jan 11 21:52:22 2017 No.3732875
File: 2.08 MB, 1416x3429, 1461480100396.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>3732864

Forgot to mention: Nintendo demanded that NES and SNES submit proof that their game could actually be completed, and there was the general quality boost you'd expect from someone being able to reject games. That, in turn, made it obvious to future developers what ideas worked and what didn't. But on the C64 and Spectrum, it was the blind leading the blind. How could you know how to design a good game if everyone else you knew was putting out crap?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 02:25:54 2017 No.3733319 >>3729430 They (generally) had no idea about the fundamentals: -Controls -Difficulty pacing -Level design There are of course some exceptions.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 03:28:17 2017 No.3733396 File: 211 KB, 925x1050, Speccy.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 03:33:41 2017 No.3733397 File: 307 KB, 528x362, 1473813666473.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3732875 >>3733396 hahaha fuck

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 04:10:16 2017 No.3733423 muslims

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 06:17:30 2017 No.3733482 >>3731661 legit top bantz here

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 06:49:02 2017 No.3733497 >>3732871 Cool hot take breh but you're wrong

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 07:18:20 2017 No.3733513 >>3732864 The good Commodore games in Europe were done by danes and Scandinavians, not by the british.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 08:28:18 2017 No.3733613 >>3733396 Lost it hardcore

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 08:33:38 2017 No.3733620 >>3733513 Not saying there's none, but I can't think of any single nordic game from that era. It was a Britain-France-Germany circlejerk with some stuff from other countries here and there.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 08:42:34 2017 No.3733629 >>3733396 The same can be said about 2600.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 08:48:24 2017 No.3733637 File: 787 KB, 1300x1192, 1462220448390.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3731661 >PAL cars you got me

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 09:20:57 2017 No.3733668 >>3731661 I'd pick cars over living in a country with gun-wielding niggers any day. Then again, Britain has a shitskin epidemic of it's own

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 09:26:12 2017 No.3733671 >>3732875 What book is this from? Assuming it's a book

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 10:27:22 2017 No.3733762 >>3733671 I think it's the book by Ashens

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 11:14:19 2017 No.3733829 File: 21 KB, 266x190, download (4).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3729605 I think you may be on to something

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 12:10:40 2017 No.3733915 >>3733829 First name DEEZ

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 12:18:38 2017 No.3733925 Are there actually any Speccy games that weren't complete shite?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 12:27:04 2017 No.3733937 >>3733925 Yes, there are games that are just shite.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 13:14:44 2017 No.3733985 >>3729430 I like the game gear and master system versions. Also DKC said fuck you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 13:16:01 2017 No.3733986 >>3733829 >this game was made by two people plus a dude doing the music

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 13:21:05 2017 No.3733996 >>3733986 Is that bad?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 13:26:15 2017 No.3734002 >>3729430 I'd say most non-Japanese platformers are godawful. Couple of exceptions, yes, but as a rule of thumb Japanese 2d action games are just a ton better.

Anonymous Thu Jan 12 13:39:15 2017 No.3734029

>>3733937
Can confirm. The ZX Speculum +3 was my first ever computer and I thought that's what games were meant to be like - clunky, frustrating and uncompletable.

Despite being the disk drive model I had a few tape games with it that I never ever got to work. Not once. But that might have been to do with the tape machine I connected to it. Either way I accepted it like the bitch I was.

It got me into coding though.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 14:23:27 2017 No.3734073 >>3733668 >b-b-b-black people are scary! >i hope i never see one of those monkeys in real life >i think id piss my pants

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 14:36:15 2017 No.3734094 File: 147 KB, 1032x686, normality zool.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>3729430 I played Normality some time ago and I spotted this neat little Zool easter egg.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 12 20:54:49 2017 No.3734602 >>3734073 Sure some of them are scary, what's your point? Do you think being part of a scary demographic is a good thing?

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]